Crumpy:
Let’s admit it, the arguments in favor of the hand-holding are purely emotional, not religious. There’s plenty of time before Mass and after Mass to socialize. If you want, you can stand outside of the church and shake everybody’s hand!
As one of those who does hold hands, let me please give a counter-perspective and maybe allow you to rethink the blanket statement that it is “purely emotional” and “not religious”.
The Mass is both a vertical and horizontal prayer; a prayer of praise and a prayer of petition. While most of the Mass is centered around the vertical, the Lord’s Prayer is the communal prayer of the people. It is addressed to OUR Father, not MY Father.
To at least some of us who hold hands, the symbolism of this petition, in communion with each other, is extremely meaningful. I’ve heard it said that we don’t need that symbolism and that the Eucharist is enough expression of our unity. The truth is though that different people respond to different symbols and different rituals. You may find this one meaningless; others find the beating of the breast meaningless or silly. Some find the posture in receiving communion to be important to them one way or another; or whether we receive in hand or on the tongue to be meaningful.
The Church rightly recognizes that signs, symbols, and rituals are important to us. I’ll continue to say that we’re best off not getting judgmental about which signs, symbols, and rituals others prefer when ours can just as easily be judged. Further, the second we start judging other people’s preferences and motives we immediately put ourselves in a position of judging our own preferences to be superior and ourselves more pious. “Lord thank you for not making me like other men…”
Our family has always found the Lord’s Prayer to be a special time of the Mass for us to pray together as a family. We see those around us at Mass as extended family, and while we would never “push” this on anyone that did not want to participate, we do offer our hands (and our hearts) to those adjacent to us.
I fully understand that some people do not wish to participate. I personally didn’t for many years and purposely positioned myself in the pew so I would not have to. Having been on both sides of the fence, I hold no ill will toward anyone for their preference nor do I consider my way “superior” unless one finds that it brings one closer to God and neighbor.
We really need to get past this stuff of questioning motives and looking on down on each other for these preferences. We are the Body of Christ, and as St Paul said, when one member is hurt, the Body is hurt. I will defend your right to not participate to the death; all I ask is that you not look down on me for my preference.
Peace,