workinprogress
New member
I will try to explain this well and hopefully right forum. I am in 60's now and for years when I was younger (up to 50-ish) I was friends with priests and deacons and we had one church usually I went too. My husband is Catholic but isn't a weekly attendant. Now all the priests I've known are retired, senior priests or have passed away.
Our church for money reasons came under an umbrella with 6 churches and so priests rotate a bit through them and deacons (except for Spanish mass) There are 4 priests, plus one senior priest and one here for a year . I have tried for 2 years to greet priest after mass but usually miss getting eye contact no matter how nice and friendly I try to be. If I do get it for a second, it's not more than a cursory reply while parishioners, some younger, will stop and talk for quite a long time. I've tried emailing a question and will get a perfunctory answer and gifts for holiday, although I didn't need a thank you, still made me feel unseen. I actually went to a coffee-and , I ended up sitting alone not having much luck with small talk (people can be cliquey) and one priest sat down near me with another gentleman and just talked to him, it was like I was invisible although I literally was arm to arm with the gentleman. This priest seems so nice to others, compassionate, it's just any small talk I try, just falls flat or I can't get eye contact to start.
I don't know if most priests today are just too busy and full of acquaintances, that they don't want more, more faces or names to know, more time constraints. I just want to be friendly enough, to get a 2 min chat some days or know if life hits me a curve ball I have someone to reach out too. A lot of charity work is for full retirees with the hours they have which I'm not yet although I do things outside of church. I envy (which might be a sin) the men and women who seem to know the priests and deacons well and don't want a lot but feel so invisible. I told my husband I felt like a ghost when the priest sat down that time.
He said maybe youth has more appeal, they want them to stay so they devote more time. Although our city churches pull a lot from the suburbs for whatever reason, he wondered if maybe a church with one priest might be easier. I'm not asking for a spiritual director, I just miss having a person that knows me a little, that sees me, that could give advice if I really needed it.
Any ideas or am I asking too much and was just lucky in my younger years.
Our church for money reasons came under an umbrella with 6 churches and so priests rotate a bit through them and deacons (except for Spanish mass) There are 4 priests, plus one senior priest and one here for a year . I have tried for 2 years to greet priest after mass but usually miss getting eye contact no matter how nice and friendly I try to be. If I do get it for a second, it's not more than a cursory reply while parishioners, some younger, will stop and talk for quite a long time. I've tried emailing a question and will get a perfunctory answer and gifts for holiday, although I didn't need a thank you, still made me feel unseen. I actually went to a coffee-and , I ended up sitting alone not having much luck with small talk (people can be cliquey) and one priest sat down near me with another gentleman and just talked to him, it was like I was invisible although I literally was arm to arm with the gentleman. This priest seems so nice to others, compassionate, it's just any small talk I try, just falls flat or I can't get eye contact to start.
I don't know if most priests today are just too busy and full of acquaintances, that they don't want more, more faces or names to know, more time constraints. I just want to be friendly enough, to get a 2 min chat some days or know if life hits me a curve ball I have someone to reach out too. A lot of charity work is for full retirees with the hours they have which I'm not yet although I do things outside of church. I envy (which might be a sin) the men and women who seem to know the priests and deacons well and don't want a lot but feel so invisible. I told my husband I felt like a ghost when the priest sat down that time.
He said maybe youth has more appeal, they want them to stay so they devote more time. Although our city churches pull a lot from the suburbs for whatever reason, he wondered if maybe a church with one priest might be easier. I'm not asking for a spiritual director, I just miss having a person that knows me a little, that sees me, that could give advice if I really needed it.
Any ideas or am I asking too much and was just lucky in my younger years.
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