fix:
This sounds too sweeping. How can you prove this?
I’m not exactly sure what you want me to prove fix, but I’ll try to explain a little more clearly what I mean. I fully understand the sections of the CCC you quoted, and don’t disagree with you at all about the need for properly forming our consciences. Quite frankly, I doubt that many “thinking” CC’s would disagree either.
The point I was trying to make (in my probably much too wordy way

) is that the ways we form our consciences–how we get to where you’re addressing–and what we accept as credible guides in this process, are greatly influenced by our experiences in life. The people we’re addressing here have largely had their consciences formed, rightly or wrongly, and already have made some determination of credibility that now must be addressed after the fact. How we are to do that is really what’s at issue in my mind.
We all tend to gravitate toward people whom we find credible for whatever reason. It may be that you have examined their intellectual position on something and found it eminently logical. It may be that the particular person has treated you exceptionally kindly, perhaps even in a Christlike way. Or it may be simply that other people you respect perceive the person as credible and you accept their judgment, given that none of us have time or expertise to examine in detail every issue and every person that is presented in our lives. Further, usually when you find someone credible on one point, you will be more likely to project credibility on them on other issues.
Of course the opposite also tends to happen when those positions are reversed. It can often take a single misstep, a single cruel statement, or catching someone in a single lie, to destroy their credibility with you.
I think we can all agree that the Church has had its share of mistakes that have deeply hurt people, both at the historical and at the personal level. As an example, my own mother will probably never set foot in a Catholic church again because when my father died, the parish priest commented that my father had treated him rudely at some point and he didn’t want anything to do with the funeral. A Methodist minister presided at my father’s funeral although he had been Catholic from birth and had built that parish’s hall for cost on his own time.
I think we can also probably agree that there are far too many Catholics who get overzealous, in-your-face judgmental, and anything but Christlike in their treatment of fellow Catholics,especially if they sense that someone may be “less Catholc” than them. I see it in these forums all the time, and I’m sure you do too, and it pains me deeply to see this division. These kinds of situations in our lives damage credibility for the Church, and for some that credibility cannot be rebuilt.
From my experience, another major stumbling block is the whole issue of infallibility. I accept it, though there are times when it is difficult. I know of many however, who look at the Church’s history and cannot in good faith accept that very foundational concept, and naturally if you don’t accept infallibility everything else is then on the table for them. Most that I know though who reject infallibility but still want to be called Catholic, still cling to the Church’s dogmas and accept the core truths of the Church and the gospel calling. They will naturally look at the various declining levels after that though with less assent and more question, especially if it’s an area where either they have been personally hurt, or someone with credibility with them has shown them a different “option.”
I guess that’s why I keep coming back to the way we treat people in our evangelization. Taking a tender, wounded soul–which we all have–and treating it roughly is unquestionably contrary to what God calls us to, and I’m sure he suffers deeply with that soul, along with the wounded soul who is transferring their own pain along. None of us has the whole truth; none of us are able to even perfectly practice that truth we do know; and none of us are qualified to “send someone packing.” As I said before, we can only walk along side by side and help heal each other. We just need to have that bleeding Sacred Heart of Jesus for everyone.
Peace,