Hey guys can a girl be too active for you?

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Appleby said:
I have found over my lifetime (60 years so far) that most men and boys hate competitive women who excel in something that the men cannot do. That includes sports, but also may include intellectual pursuits, playing “Trivial Pursuit” or “Risk”, or diagnosing problems with the car. I was told back in the Fifties that the way to gettaman was to always act as if you are not as smart, not as strong, not as capable and not as well informed as he is – and to oooh and coo at everything he does and says, because men just simply cannot stand to be outdone by girls. (This was when men were men and women were girls.) A man broken an engagement with me once because I correctly diagnosed a serious problem with his car that literally could have killed us both (the manifold had a hole in it and the air conditioner was pulling CO into the car) after he had contemptuously told me that “Girls don’t know anything about cars.”

I found when I got into my forties that weak, dependent, unsuccessful men adore competitive, active women because they can leach off us. A certain kind of strong and domineering man also likes competitive active women, because it is his desire to break us down.

When I passed fifty and was no longer marriage bait and could be treated as “one of the boys”, I suddenly had way more boy chums than all the other women…and I was just exactly the same as I had been all my life long.

In Mensa we girls (20% of the membership) used to say, “Dumb men like smart women. Smart men like dumb women.” You could substitute “uncompetitive” or “submissive” for “dumb” with ease, I think.
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Yeah being a completely noncompetitive person I’ve never thought about it that way but that might be part of the problem. For me the more active I become the more enjoyment I get the more of a challenge I want to give myself. Like instead of just hiking 2 or 3 miles at a time I like to do 10 or 15 mile hikes to push myself but I’m not trying to go against anyone.
 
Appleby said:
I have found over my lifetime (60 years so far) that most men and boys hate competitive women who excel in something that the men cannot do. That includes sports, but also may include intellectual pursuits, playing “Trivial Pursuit” or “Risk”, or diagnosing problems with the car. I was told back in the Fifties that the way to gettaman was to always act as if you are not as smart, not as strong, not as capable and not as well informed as he is – and to oooh and coo at everything he does and says, because men just simply cannot stand to be outdone by girls. (This was when men were men and women were girls.) A man broken an engagement with me once because I correctly diagnosed a serious problem with his car that literally could have killed us both (the manifold had a hole in it and the air conditioner was pulling CO into the car) after he had contemptuously told me that “Girls don’t know anything about cars.”

I found when I got into my forties that weak, dependent, unsuccessful men adore competitive, active women because they can leach off us. A certain kind of strong and domineering man also likes competitive active women, because it is his desire to break us down.

When I passed fifty and was no longer marriage bait and could be treated as “one of the boys”, I suddenly had way more boy chums than all the other women…and I was just exactly the same as I had been all my life long.

In Mensa we girls (20% of the membership) used to say, “Dumb men like smart women. Smart men like dumb women.” You could substitute “uncompetitive” or “submissive” for “dumb” with ease, I think.
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My experience with guys has been somewhat the same except that I do know a lot of active guys but they are either very controlling, commitment phobic and almost always completely nonreligious or atheist. 🤷
 
…wow

…I actually find it very attractive when a woman knows a lot about guy stuff.

Like when a girl starts talking about a classic car that she likes…My jaw hits the floor and my knees go weak.
Of course…I don’t know a whole lot about cars, and I know that. I know some, but I’m not totally into it.

I guess I might end up feelings somewhat prideful if I knew a lot about something, and was proven wrong by a woman…

Or if I was talking smack before a game of “stratego” and lost to my mom…

yeah…But I accepted defeat, despite my wounded pride.
 
I got lucky. I’m dating a wonderful Catholic guy and he is very active. He does triathlons and has competed in an iron man too. I bike and run too. It’s great and I love him.
 
noclevername said:
I got lucky. I’m dating a wonderful Catholic guy and he is very active. He does triathlons and has competed in an iron man too. I bike and run too. It’s great and I love him.
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Where did you find him he must be a gem. 👍
 
Sierrah said:
Where did you find him he must be a gem. 👍
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He’s a great guy and has a great job. To be honest, I met him through eHarmony. I’ve been dating him for two years. He is a genuinely nice guy and I am very lucky and fortunate to have him in my life.
 
Belgarion said:
…wow

…I actually find it very attractive when a woman knows a lot about guy stuff.

Like when a girl starts talking about a classic car that she likes…My jaw hits the floor and my knees go weak.
Of course…I don’t know a whole lot about cars, and I know that. I know some, but I’m not totally into it.

I guess I might end up feelings somewhat prideful if I knew a lot about something, and was proven wrong by a woman…

Or if I was talking smack before a game of “stratego” and lost to my mom…

yeah…But I accepted defeat, despite my wounded pride.
Click to expand...
I had a classic car that I worked on (1973 Ferrari (okay, FIAT) Dino GTS) and found that men became wounded when I told them no thank you, I do not want your advice or help, I am having fun here figuring it out for myself. I know women race mechanics who are better at their job than the men are, because women tend to have endless patience with fiddly things and a lot of working on cars (classics and race cars anyway) involves patience with fiddly bits. When I do want help and ask them for advice they like to take over and do it for me.

These guys also do not like it when I know why the ref blew the whistle and their pronouncement proves to be wrong. 😉

I think it is not a matter of my being active but rather of my being competitive. Do you know that women consider it insulting, by and large, to spit, You argue like a man! at another woman?
 
Appleby said:
I had a classic car that I worked on (1973 Ferrari (okay, FIAT) Dino GTS) and found that men became wounded when I told them no thank you, I do not want your advice or help, I am having fun here figuring it out for myself. I know women race mechanics who are better at their job than the men are, because women tend to have endless patience with fiddly things and a lot of working on cars (classics and race cars anyway) involves patience with fiddly bits. When I do want help and ask them for advice they like to take over and do it for me.

These guys also do not like it when I know why the ref blew the whistle and their pronouncement proves to be wrong. 😉

I think it is not a matter of my being active but rather of my being competitive. Do you know that women consider it insulting, by and large, to spit, You argue like a man! at another woman?
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I guess I would say I like a guy who is competitive but not overbearing or expects me to be competitive with him.
 
Appleby said:
I had a classic car that I worked on (1973 Ferrari (okay, FIAT) Dino GTS) and found that men became wounded when I told them no thank you, I do not want your advice or help, I am having fun here figuring it out for myself. I know women race mechanics who are better at their job than the men are, because women tend to have endless patience with fiddly things and a lot of working on cars (classics and race cars anyway) involves patience with fiddly bits. When I do want help and ask them for advice they like to take over and do it for me.

These guys also do not like it when I know why the ref blew the whistle and their pronouncement proves to be wrong. 😉

I think it is not a matter of my being active but rather of my being competitive. Do you know that women consider it insulting, by and large, to spit, You argue like a man! at another woman?
Click to expand...
ITs a pride thing. If they think they know more, they believe you should be begging them for help.

I do not know how I’d react in such a situation…
Though I guess a good parallel would be video games…My sister plays them too, and sometimes I give her hints when she’s struggling…though I can definitely keep my mouth shut and let her play and figure it out on her own.

BTW…Women who know a good deal about cars…or enough to refuse help from guys who “know better”…those women have my respect.

That is a very attractive quality…to me, at least. 😃

One young lady I know (Yes…I am bringing her up a lot lately 🙂 ) Talks about how she wants a particular classic car. And she came to me and told me when she had her first “burn-out”!

sigh…the things she says…:coolinoff:
😉
 
I suppose that a Catholic girl could be too active for me, but the opposite is usually true.

I experience difficulty securing a girlfriend who enjoys hiking, biking, swimming, hill climbing, landscaping, dancing, sports, and vigorous activity.

Most women my age, tend to tire very easily, and lack energy.

As a consequence, I consider younger women who have more enthusiasm. The problem is, that the younger women are not considering me.

So, I remain a bachelor, perhaps for all eternity
 
Magickman said:
I suppose that a Catholic girl could be too active for me, but the opposite is usually true.

I experience difficulty securing a girlfriend who enjoys hiking, biking, swimming, hill climbing, landscaping, dancing, sports, and vigorous activity.

Most women my age, tend to tire very easily, and lack energy.

As a consequence, I consider younger women who have more enthusiasm. The problem is, that the younger women are not considering me.

So, I remain a bachelor, perhaps for all eternity
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I find the same thing to be true in my age group as well but I’m not what I would consider over the hill yet. 👍
 
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