Holding hands during the Our Father

[estesbob]

Um… please don’t take this as me in any way ‘defending’ EstesBob,

but his statement was that ‘most of us’, this doesn’t mean ‘ALL of us’.

Youre allowed to defend me all you want!

 

[estesbob]

I respectfully disagree.
The Mass is critically important to me and to many of the rest of us.
Anything that corrupts it should concern us.

So you beleive the Mass has been corrupted and the Mageestrium sat by and allowed it to happen? Does that mean the gates of hell have prevailed against the Chruch?

 

[benedictgal]

• Hand holding has not been disapproved by Rome.
• Hand holding can be disruptive.
• I personally have not found the practice to have been extremely rude. I’m from the Midwest, so perhaps other parts of the country have had extremely rude experiences.
• I respect your choice not to participate in hand holding nor should you feel compelled to do so.
• I think it is a fair topic to speak out against. Keep in mind however, that it hasn’t been disapproved of by Rome so others are free to accept the practice.

Holding hands has not been approved by Rome either. Just because something is not in the GIRM, that does not give anyone the right to add something to the liturgy. Both Sacrosanctum Concilium and Redemptionis Sacramentum make that clear.

 

[roadsend]

So you beleive the Mass has been corrupted and the Mageestrium sat by and allowed it to happen? Does that mean the gates of hell have prevailed against the Chruch?

Simple answer - No.

Individual or groups (for that matter) of priests or bishops do not constitute the Magisterium.
Even a majority of bishops does not constitute the Magisterium.

 

[angelic06]

I must come, once more, to the defense of those of us who do not wish to hold hands during the Mass, and also especially to that of those whom Tantum Ergo mentioned, namely people with medical problems. Praying arrow handed style does not interfere with my neighbor’s prayers, nor does doing what I do, which is to wrap my hand the arm of the back of the bench in front of me in the choir loft, keeping my hands folded as close to my chest as possible. If what I do does disturb you, then either your eyes and/or your mind is not where it is supposed to be, on God and on the God-Son, Jesus Christ. For hand holding, however, the interference with prayer is obvious due to the touchy feely nature of it, and it is a pain to those who have medical issues.

I have not encountered this yet, but this is especially a problem caused by people who consider it un-Christ-like or uncharitable NOT to hold hands. Once again, I have not met such people in person, but since I hear of it, I especially detest those mentioned by roadsend who make it feel like others are causing the problem by NOT holding hands. Are they sure they are still following Christian charity? Hand holders, I will once more make my demand: LEAVE US ALONE!

 

[angelic06]

I agree with Apryl in post #297.

 

[Apryl]

I agree with Apryl in post #297.

Well, thank you.

I guess I’m flattered

But I would really love to hear from any one (don’t be shy. Of COURSE we’ll have something to say about it, but you’re hearing it anyway) who thinks that hand holding is a good thing in Mass, or would love to see the entire congregation held hand to hand.

Why do you think it’s a good thing? What is the goal? Is it just to have every one touching? Kum-ba-ya style?

 

[CB_Catholic]

I must come, once more, to the defense of those of us who do not wish to hold hands during the Mass, and also especially to that of those whom Tantum Ergo mentioned, namely people with medical problems. Praying arrow handed style does not interfere with my neighbor’s prayers, nor does doing what I do, which is to wrap my hand the arm of the back of the bench in front of me in the choir loft, keeping my hands folded as close to my chest as possible. If what I do does disturb you, then either your eyes and/or your mind is not where it is supposed to be, on God and on the God-Son, Jesus Christ. For hand holding, however, the interference with prayer is obvious due to the touchy feely nature of it, and it is a pain to those who have medical issues.

I have not encountered this yet, but this is especially a problem caused by people who consider it un-Christ-like or uncharitable NOT to hold hands. Once again, I have not met such people in person, but since I hear of it, I especially detest those mentioned by roadsend who make it feel like others are causing the problem by NOT holding hands. Are they sure they are still following Christian charity? Hand holders, I will once more make my demand: LEAVE US ALONE!

I think we need to put this in some perspective here. First of all, I’m not a hand-holder, so let me make that clear. I’m in your camp. But, I have yet to see one single post where anyone who likes to hold hands during the Our Father thinks it should be imposed on others. Not one person has said they would grab someone’s hand and force it on someone. They mostly say they hold hands with their family members. No one is advocating forcing it upon someone. So who are you addressing?

It is not worth your peace of mind to get THAT upset over this subject that you end up detesting people you don’t even know (the people mentioned by roadsend). That can put you in an uncharitable state of mind, so that if you WOULD encounter someone who tries to grab your hand, your whole Mass experience would be ruined, and you would be thinking uncharitable thoughts about that person. You are getting upset over something that has not even happened to you yet!

Don’t take these message boards and people’s opinions on these boards so seriously. This isn’t the real world where you live. Having and stating an opinion on MB is fine, even debating a subject is fine, but letting things on a computer bulletin board affect your real life and lead to uncharitable attitudes towards others isn’t. Remember that most people do not do things out of malice, just thoughtlessness, and we all are guilty of that at one time or another.

 

[estesbob]

I think we need to put this in some perspective here. First of all, I’m not a hand-holder, so let me make that clear. I’m in your camp. But, I have yet to see one single post where anyone who likes to hold hands during the Our Father thinks it should be imposed on others. Not one person has said they would grab someone’s hand and force it on someone. They mostly say they hold hands with their family members. No one is advocating forcing it upon someone. So who are you addressing?

It is not worth your peace of mind to get THAT upset over this subject that you end up detesting people you don’t even know (the people mentioned by roadsend). That can put you in an uncharitable state of mind, so that if you WOULD encounter someone who tries to grab your hand, your whole Mass experience would be ruined, and you would be thinking uncharitable thoughts about that person. You are getting upset over something that has not even happened to you yet!

Don’t take these message boards and people’s opinions on these boards so seriously. This isn’t the real world where you live. Having and stating an opinion on MB is fine, even debating a subject is fine, but letting things on a computer bulletin board affect your real life and lead to uncharitable attitudes towards others isn’t. Remember that most people do not do things out of malice, just thoughtlessness, and we all are guilty of that at one time or another.

Great post! I dont normally hold hands but it is not an issue with me. On the rare occassion that someones thrusts their hand at me I hold it. We are getting ready to hold our Lord and Savior in our hands and eat his body and we should be obsessing over what we do with our hands during the our father???

 

[Isaiah_41]

Today at Mass in the pew in front of me a woman who was by herself reached out to the people on each side of her to hold hands during the Our Father. I noticed that both people on each side were hesitant and tried to continue in their prayer, looking down, but the woman held out her hands until they agreed and held hands and then raising them high at end.
I really don’t like doing the hand holding bit during the Our Father, especially raising them at the end. I feel that is meant for the priest. I have read different places where it is a liturgical abuse, though, a minor one.

I was once at a Mass where the priest told everyone we were to hold hands. I didn’t return to that parish.

My question is: If you do not want to hold hands during the Our Father and someone is holding their hand out and almost insisting what would you do? What should you do?

I should say also that at this parish very few people do this.

I also am uncomfortable holding strangers hands…it’s one thing to shake hands…it’s another to hold their hand. I think it’s unecessary and distracting.

 

[ProVobis]

We are getting ready to hold our Lord and Savior in our hands and eat his body and we should be obsessing over what we do with our hands during the our father???

So you’re trying to make a connection between hand holding at the Pater Noster and CITH now? Strange theology.

 

[Apryl]

I have yet to see one single post where anyone who likes to hold hands during the Our Father thinks it should be imposed on others. Not one person has said they would grab someone’s hand and force it on someone. They mostly say they hold hands with their family members. No one is advocating forcing it upon someone.

You make a wonderful point: those who would impose are really not the same as those who would participate on CAF!

There ARE those who impose. There are those parishes where those who don’t hold hands are looked at all akimbo. There are those who have been asked, ‘what’s wrong with you’.

We do need to realize that often those who are being ‘addressed’ are just phanthoms so that we don’t take them personal or anything.

 

[terrig]

I am a new member to this forum. I’ve enjoyed reading the different questions. I had to join because I wanted to comment on this topic. I used to be a cafeteria Catholic and as one I was convinced that missing Mass on Sundays was not really a mortal sin. When I did go to Mass, I noticed all this handshaking, holding hands during the Our Father, people raising their hand to imitate the priests at different parts of the Mass. When did that start? Are we now supposed to be priests, too? I used to joke that I didn’t go to Mass because it caused me to sin. In my mind, I would get angry at the people that came to Mass half naked and got very annoyed during the holdings hands. It distracted me. Since my re-conversion, I try to focus that the Mass is about Jesus not about me or the other people or the priest. Priest with their water-downed homilies used to annoy me, too. (They still do but I know that I can watch Father Corapi on EWTN later on for a real homily.) In my town, there’s 3 Catholic churches - a Hispanic one, a traditional one, and the “Protestant Catholic” one. The traditional church I attend does not require hand holding during the Our Father. The former pastor wrote it on the bulletin not to demand hand holding because some people may have medical conditions such as arthritis, etc. Most of the people hold their hands out. I’m old school and hold my hands in the traditional praying hands pose. I’ve noticed the deacon does that too. I know this thread is about the holding hands during the Our Father but can someone tell me what started all this other hand raising during the Mass?

 

[Layman]

I know this thread is about the holding hands during the Our Father but can someone tell me what started all this other hand raising during the Mass?

I guess it goes back to the modern idea that people and priests have, that what they, the congregation, do, is important to the Mass.

Fact is, AFAIK, Mass can be said without a congregation. You just need a server. If that. The priest is the one offering the sacrifice.

Helps me put in perspective all this spurious ‘active participation’ that’s been added on.

I’d guess hand-holding is Catholics copying Protestant-style services. Or it’s just a post-1960’s hippie add-on.

 

[Robert_Burns]

Today at Mass in the pew in front of me a woman who was by herself reached out to the people on each side of her to hold hands during the Our Father. I noticed that both people on each side were hesitant and tried to continue in their prayer, looking down, but the woman held out her hands until they agreed and held hands and then raising them high at end.
I really don’t like doing the hand holding bit during the Our Father, especially raising them at the end. I feel that is meant for the priest. I have read different places where it is a liturgical abuse, though, a minor one.

I was once at a Mass where the priest told everyone we were to hold hands. I didn’t return to that parish.

My question is: If you do not want to hold hands during the Our Father and someone is holding their hand out and almost insisting what would you do? What should you do?

I should say also that at this parish very few people do this.

Handholding is Protestant not Catholic. I would refuse on those grounds alone.

 

[Bob_Aliano]

A term was coined regarding the war on drugs that aptly fits this thread; Just Say No. I am not shy at expressing my displeasure when someone tries to grab my hand at Mass.

 

[Apryl]

Handholding is Protestant not Catholic. I would refuse on those grounds alone.

Just curious: what makes it ‘Protestant’? considering the changes that were part of Vatican II?

I can see not liking it, or saying it ‘it is not something that is typical/normal for Catholic Mass’, but what about the hand holding makes the hand holding ‘Protestant’, rather than just ‘illicit’ or ‘not part of the GIRM’

 

[georgewithfaith]

Hand holding will be gone in the future. It is wrong and not needed in the Mass. I never hold any hands during the Our Father and no one tries to grab my hand. The inclination to express oneself beyond hand holding has spread to other parts of the Mass. During the acclimation during the Eucharistic Prayer people make hand gestures. They also make gestures during the Gloria too.

 

[secer96]

I think some people end up doing it out of habit…but i agree in the philippines…families and friends hold hands during the Our Father and sometimes the people beside the person on the ends wants to join hands…most of the time we end up doing it…i knw here in NZ at the Filipino parish people do that but every1 knws every1

 

[Mike30]

Two year old thread.