Holding hands during the Our Father

[Apryl]

I’m curious, what would actually happen if the Vatican declared that there should be no holding of hands during the Our Father? I know of many people that do this, and I don’t think that many would willingly cease to do it. There’s even one parish in my town where it’s pretty much mandatory, as the entire congregation participates in it, and anyone who doesn’t gets funny looks from everyone else. I doubt they would simply give up holding hands if the Vatican told them to do so.

I happen to be at one of those parishes, I think.

I wonder sometimes: why do the people who do the ‘obligatory’ hand holding do it? Do they REALLY feel better if they hold hands? And why do they look on those who do not with such disdain?

As I mentioned, I had some one ‘remind me’ of how ‘unfriendly’ I was to not hold hands during the Our Father… and it was all I could do to not shake my head when I saw some one run all over the place to get to someone in order to be able to hold hands (I really thought she would slip on her high heels)

 

[Apryl]

I couldn’t care less if you hold hands or not. I’ve done it a few times, and it’s not made me uncomfortable. If you want to do it, go ahead, if you don’t…don’t; it’s that simple. Nobody is forcing you to do it. The sign of peace isn’t mandatory either. Sometimes our priest walks down and offers the sign of peace. Heck, it’s the only part of Mass anybody really smiles and looks alive. Every Catholic church I have ever been to in my life, everyone stands there and looks like zombies. I am usually the only young person there though too hahaha.

(First of all THANK YOU for using ‘couldn’t’ rather than ‘could’!)

It does become a problem when the movement of people in order to get to hold hands is a distraction for those around them.

The Mass should never be about US. It’s about God, and the Lord’s Sacrifice!

 

[laneo]

(First of all THANK YOU for using ‘couldn’t’ rather than ‘could’!)

It does become a problem when the movement of people in order to get to hold hands is a distraction for those around them.

The Mass should never be about US. It’s about God, and the Lord’s Sacrifice!

It is about God, exactly. It’s ridiculous that people are complaining about holding hands. I think it builds community and fellowship, but as I said, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. end of story.

Christ isn’t in the back going “Boy oh boy, look at these people holding hands, how shameful” or “Why isn’t he/she holding his/her hand??? takes out notebook and makes a check”. hahah. I have never felt distracted, I mean, if someone is flailing around like a crazed Tasmanian devil, yeah, I’d be distracted, but I never had that problem.

 

[Lycorth]

The Mass should never be about US. It’s about God, and the Lord’s Sacrifice!

Amen. We’re not at Mass to be amused or entertained. We’re there to pray to God and worship Him, to receive the Blessed Sacrament. It’s not like a protestant service, where we get together to “fellowship” and socialize; we can and should do that sort of thing after Mass. During Mass, it’s 100% about God and 0% about us.

If listening attentively, folding my hands prayerfully, and being quiet and respectful may seem zombie-like to some, but to us who are standing there, we’re focused on God and not worrying about amusing our fellow churchgoers.

 

[CatholicFireman]

I couldn’t care less if you hold hands or not. I’ve done it a few times, and it’s not made me uncomfortable. If you want to do it, go ahead, if you don’t…don’t; it’s that simple. Nobody is forcing you to do it. The sign of peace isn’t mandatory either. Sometimes our priest walks down and offers the sign of peace. Heck, it’s the only part of Mass anybody really smiles and looks alive.

Actually, according to the OP (and other posters), she feels like she is being forced. I think that is part of her point.

Every Catholic church I have ever been to in my life, everyone stands there and looks like zombies. I am usually the only young person there though too hahaha.

I’m sorry for you and your “bad” experiences. Maybe they are concentrating more on the sacrifice of the mass (at least I hope). If fact, after mass it’s pretty lively and more like a social club at the churches I go to.

 

[laneo]

Actually, according to the OP (and other posters), she feels like she is being forced. I think that is part of her point.

I’m sorry for you and your “bad” experiences. Maybe they are concentrating more on the sacrifice of the mass (at least I hope). If fact, after mass it’s pretty lively and more like a social club at the churches I go to.

Well if she is being forced, then just be like no thanks, no big deal. That’s all I am saying. I highly doubt they are concentrating on sacrifice, most of them look spaced out. Yes they do talk after mass or scamper to their cars. Sure, I could talk, but I am 22 years old, and most of them are double or triple my age. I don’t think old people want to talk about computers, punk music, and movies (some of my interests). hahaha.

 

[CatholicFireman]

Well if she is being forced, then just be like no thanks, no big deal. That’s all I am saying. I highly doubt they are concentrating on sacrifice, most of them look spaced out. Yes they do talk after mass or scamper to their cars. Sure, I could talk, but I am 22 years old, and most of them are double or triple my age. I don’t think old people want to talk about computers, punk music, and movies (some of my interests). hahaha.

LOL. Funny. I have to agree with you, though. A lot scamper for their cars but those are usually the people who go to mass out of “habit” and leave before the priest so they won’t get stuck in traffic in the parking lot. I don’t know. When I started in my career field I was 20 and I had to make small talk with older people. A simple smile and hello would suffice. You can’t possibly be the only 22 year old going to church.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Well if she is being forced, then just be like no thanks, no big deal. That’s all I am saying. I highly doubt they are concentrating on sacrifice, most of them look spaced out. Yes they do talk after mass or scamper to their cars. Sure, I could talk, but I am 22 years old, and most of them are double or triple my age. I don’t think old people want to talk about computers, punk music, and movies (some of my interests). hahaha.

Hahaha. Just wait a bit, sugah. Most of us oldsters have raised you young’uns. Don’t you think that having bought you your Play Stations and Wiis and learned to play along with you so you could increase your skills, bought you your computers and made sure that we introduced you to safe habits, etc. that we’re not quite dinosaurs? As for movies, although I’m not quite old enough to remember strictly black-and-white, I certainly enjoy movies. Being a couple of decades older than you, I’ve seen a couple of decades’ worth more movies, to boot. Imagine the fun of chatting about whether Rashomon or the Outrage is a better film, and why, or how it influenced not only other movies but other media. Or which version of “On the Beach” is truer to Nevil Shute’s vision and why. . .

What do you think we oldsters discuss anyway? Some of you young’uns aren’t all that interested in computers, punk and movies but would rather discuss ecology, sociology, even religion. I wouldn’t dream of stereotyping a ‘young person’ as interested solely in say music and computers, anymore than I would stereotype us oldsters as only interested in ‘boring’ things like the stock market, gossip, or other ‘old people’ dull dull dull topics. . .

So why not try getting to know the ‘zombies’ at your church? You might be surprised.

 

[CatholicFireman]

So why not try getting to know the ‘zombies’ at your church? You might be surprised.

:clapping:

My hat is off to you :tiphat:

 

[laneo]

LOL. Funny. I have to agree with you, though. A lot scamper for their cars but those are usually the people who go to mass out of “habit” and leave before the priest so they won’t get stuck in traffic in the parking lot. I don’t know. When I started in my career field I was 20 and I had to make small talk with older people. A simple smile and hello would suffice. You can’t possibly be the only 22 year old going to church.

Believe me, my fiancée (who is Assembly of God) we are usually the only young people at mass. It’s just hard for us to approach others. Sure we shake hands with the ushers and all that, but other than that, nobody really seems to want to strike up conversation with two kids. I could approach them, but as I said before, it’s not that easy, you don’t know how some people are. I am not the best and obeying Catholic there is out there, who knows what they would think of me.

 

[nickybr38]

Believe me, my fiancée (who is Assembly of God) we are usually the only young people at mass. It’s just hard for us to approach others. Sure we shake hands with the ushers and all that, but other than that, nobody really seems to want to strike up conversation with two kids. I could approach them, but as I said before, it’s not that easy, you don’t know how some people are. I am not the best and obeying Catholic there is out there, who knows what they would think of me.

I know exactly how people can be. I have approached people and been downright IGNORED. (I’d approach and say good morning! And after giving me a quelling look they’d literally turn their back to me. Usually it is older people in the nice clothes with the perfect hair and fancy jewelry that do these kind of things. I’ve had MANY people do this to me and yeah it stings and leaves a person feeling like a parasite).

I mean, I suppose they must think I’m socially slow because I just walk up and introduce myself but if I don’t who’s going to do it for me? Now, this method of approach has gotten me rejected many times in many settings (Church, social functions, parties, etc) but it has also led to many friendships too…

The only problem is sometimes Ihave the courage to just step out on a limb and sometimes I don’t.

My point is - it’s hard. REALLY hard… but sometimes going out on that limb and taking the initiative could lead you to a wonderful Church family. I’m not saying introduce yourself to everyone, but maybe next Sunday make the choice to introduce yourself to one person. Just one. Find the friendliest looking person you can. If they reject you shrug it off and next Sunday choose a new person to introduce yourself to.

If they think you’re socially slow - so what. At least you made the effort! But if they’re feeling like you are (left out but also shy) you might just make someone’s day.

 

[Poco]

I’ve read so many differing opinions on this, and the “Orans posture”, it’s mind boggling! Basically it seems to be, “Well, you’re not supposed to, but it’s ok if you do”.

In the parish I’ve been attending most people either hold hands or assume the Orans during the Our Father. I keep my hands folded in front of me, as do quite a few others. I haven’t noticed any “sneering looks” from others, but then, I’m not really looking around at others in the congregation. However, I would not refuse to hold hands if someone next to me offered. On the other hand, nobody seems to know I’m even there until I need to move to let them back in the pew after going up to receive the Eucharist. (note I haven’t made it all the way across the Tiber yet. I’m still trying! )

Sure, I could talk, but I am 22 years old, and most of them are double or triple my age. I don’t think old people want to talk about computers, punk music, and movies (some of my interests). hahaha.

Ianeo, I think you would be surprised! Many of these “old people” have probably been using computers longer than you have been alive. I, myself, wrote my first computer program using punch cards! As for punk music, it’s not my favorite but it’s far superior to rap. Also, I’ve watched movies.

 

[CatholicFireman]

I think the OP’s question has been answered long ago so I bid you all farewell. God’s Peace be with you.

 

[ProVobis]

It’s ridiculous that people are complaining about holding hands. I think it builds community and fellowship

Then why don’t we do it throughout the entire Mass? Are we saying we’re not a community unless we show such external signs?

 

[MarkThompson]

Then why don’t we do it throughout the entire Mass? Are we saying we’re not a community unless we show such external signs?

And if kneeling’s so great, why don’t we do that for the entire Mass?

 

[Cristiano]

…Ianeo, I think you would be surprised! Many of these “old people” have probably been using computers longer than you have been alive. I, myself, wrote my first computer program using punch cards! …

1976: I got my first programmable calculator Texas Instruments SR52
1979: I dropped on the floor a huge stack of punch cards that were used to simulate the interaction of 256 hard spheres for some molecular dynamics class.

 

[ProVobis]

And if kneeling’s so great, why don’t we do that for the entire Mass?

I believe we do that for most of the Low Mass, don’t we?

 

[ProVobis]

1976: I got my first programmable calculator Texas Instruments SR52
1979: I dropped on the floor a huge stack of punch cards that were used to simulate the interaction of 256 hard spheres for some molecular dynamics class.

Hey, I got you both beat. Was well into programming at the official beginning of the internet back in 1969.

Incidentally my first computer program was “written” on a breadboard using nine transistors. And that was an improvement over the older tube-based circuitry. I could still tell you the physics behind the NAND (among other) gates.

 

[The_Reginator]

(First of all THANK YOU for using ‘couldn’t’ rather than ‘could’!)

One of my pet peeves. I even hear journalists, politicians and others who ought to know better using this nonsensical expression.

 

[BettyM]

I couldn’t care less if you hold hands or not. I’ve done it a few times, and it’s not made me uncomfortable. If you want to do it, go ahead, if you don’t…don’t; it’s that simple. Nobody is forcing you to do it. The sign of peace isn’t mandatory either. Sometimes our priest walks down and offers the sign of peace. Heck, it’s the only part of Mass anybody really smiles and looks alive. Every Catholic church I have ever been to in my life, everyone stands there and looks like zombies. I am usually the only young person there though too hahaha.

That’s too bad you are the only young person there. We have lots of young people attending mass at all the churches around us. Most all of the churches, except for a few have schools attached to them, so you see alot of young people. Even whole families.
You do see alot of older people at Catholic churches, too. Which is awesomely, awesomely great. My family has learned to celebrate mass with people of all ages. Infancy to elderly. That is what is great about the Catholic church, it’s a family affair. Young and old. All are welcome.

The reason we probably look like zombies, is because we are in prayer. We are with the Lord. It is about the Lord. It’s not meant to be a social event. We are to be respectful to each other being in prayer.