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soulhunter182
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I think you just answered my question
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soulhunter182
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Thank you I appreciate thatLike others have said soulhunter, I have a huge amount of respect for you. God has a plan you and as long as you keep praying and you follow your conscience you will find the right path to go down. Remember that you are as God made you, that He will love you no matter what happens on this Earth and He will never leave your side.
God bless, I’ll keep you in my prayers
Its just hard to think about sometimes that when God loves someone, He makes them suffer
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soulhunter182
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Hi, thank you for the link. I have read a bit about reparative therapy, but i think it would not work for me though. I feel that they could work on men that has tendencies but had not been in a relationship or for bisexual men and men that still has a 51% preference attraction to ladies. As for me though, I don’t think that I can change my orientation nor change my attraction from girls to guys through therapy and I don’t believe that being homosexual is a mental disorder either
When I started having SSA, it wasn’t by choice. I mean I did not choose to like men over women, despite what other people say that we choose to be this way. I just do,for what ever reason I do not know. I think the important thing here is acceptance. Accepting yourself was who you are, being your self as who you are and then accepting that cross that comes along with it.
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soulhunter182
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I read book about Maria Simma about souls from purgatory and I believe that she mentioned that homosexuality came from the evil one
"Have you been visited by souls who, on earth, practiced perversions? I am thinking, for example, about the sexual domain.
Yes, they are not lost, but they have much to suffer to be purified. For example: homosexuality. This truly comes from the Evil One."
I don’t really know if I was born this way and I really do not understand until now why I started liking men over women. I had a girlfriend in highschool and had a boyfriend in college, if this thing that we have does come from the evil one, i’d like to know how he does it
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soulhunter182
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I agree that the rosary does drive away the evil one and I am thankful to our blessed mother for she has clothed me in her mantle once before during one of my nightmares. Hmmm a duplex?, that’s actually not a bad idea, I never though of that
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soulhunter182
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Thank you for your kind words, people like you gives people like us hope to live…
May God smile on you and I’ll pray to him tell him to give you all blessings, i am eternally grateful
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GraceDK
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of course you didn’t choose it. This is the whole point. The fact that you state it, makes me think you really do not know anything about reparative theory or praxsis.Hi, thank you for the link. I have read a bit about reparative therapy, but i think it would not work for me though. I feel that they could work on men that has tendencies but had not been in a relationship or for bisexual men and men that still has a 51% preference attraction to ladies. As for me though, I don’t think that I can change my orientation nor change my attraction from girls to guys through therapy and I don’t believe that being homosexual is a mental disorder either
But if you don’t think its a disorder or deficit, you confuse me a bit… because you are in a way saying that its an equal way of being in relationship as is marriage between man and woman, albeit there is a clear disconnect between your sex/gender and your ability to function as a man. In other words. Your whole reproductive system is geared at a female counterpart, but you think that not functioning and not being able to reproduce one self is not a deficit???
Anyway, I don’t wanna get into a discussion about this. All I want to advice you is to read the book by Joseph Nicolosi: Shame and Attachment Loss.
This book opened my own eyes tremendously, and its a serious scolarly work. You will not regret it if you dare to read it.
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soulhunter182
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Hi guys, I saw this article when I was reading online, its about a guy being denied communion by the priest because he lives together with his boyfriend. Can a priest do that? I mean lets just say for my case, that me and my partner are trying to live a chaste lifestyle, and the priest know that were living together. The priest would not know that we are trying to love chastely right? I’m afraid that the priest might refuse us communion.
Should gay men be able to take communion?
A Dutch Prince of the Carnival was snubbed by the Catholic Church recently when a priest refused to grant him holy communion because he lives together with his boyfriend.
Link: weblogs.nrc.nl/discussion/2010/02/26/should-gay-men-be-able-to-take-communion/
Should gay men be able to take communion?
A Dutch Prince of the Carnival was snubbed by the Catholic Church recently when a priest refused to grant him holy communion because he lives together with his boyfriend.
Link: weblogs.nrc.nl/discussion/2010/02/26/should-gay-men-be-able-to-take-communion/
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soulhunter182
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I guess I’m also confused about it heheof course you didn’t choose it. This is the whole point. The fact that you state it, makes me think you really do not know anything about reparative theory or praxsis.
But if you don’t think its a disorder or deficit, you confuse me a bit… because you are in a way saying that its an equal way of being in relationship as is marriage between man and woman, albeit there is a clear disconnect between your sex/gender and your ability to function as a man. In other words. Your whole reproductive system is geared at a female counterpart, but you think that not functioning and not being able to reproduce one self is not a deficit???
Anyway, I don’t wanna get into a discussion about this. All I want to advice you is to read the book by Joseph Nicolosi: Shame and Attachment Loss.
This book opened my own eyes tremendously, and its a serious scolarly work. You will not regret it if you dare to read it.
but I will take your advise and read that book that you recommend. 
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michelleds
Guest
That article implies to me that the parishioner is actively engaged in a gay relationship and not attempting to live chastely. He identifies himself as a gay man and states that he lives with his boyfriend. To receive Communion, as you well know, without further committing the sin of sacrilege, one has to have made a good confession which includes of necessity the repudiation of the sin and the amendment of life (the intention to not do it again).
That being said, everyone should try to avoid the sin of scandal. This is part of why when Kathleen Sebelius was governor of Kansas, she was asked to stop taking Communion as she was publicly pro-choice. usatoday.com/news/religion/2008-05-12-communion-abortion_N.htm
I am very worried about scandal in my own circumstances and make every effort to correct any assumptions. Although Father Jim has told me that I am not required to tell people my personal business, I bought this pig in a poke when I made it everyone’s business to know that I was gay when I was living in sin before I started down the path of conversion. I think that once you march in those pride parades, you are, in fact, obligated to do what you can to publicly denounce the same lifestyle/sin choices.
So, if two men at my parish were living chastely but continued to hold hands at church, I would fully expect the priest to deny them Communion. Same if someone wore a pro-abortion t-shirt to Mass or walked in carrying condoms and passing them out. I know those sound ludicrous, but that’s scandal. things that make you gasp or turn someone away from Christ and the Church’s message.
That being said, everyone should try to avoid the sin of scandal. This is part of why when Kathleen Sebelius was governor of Kansas, she was asked to stop taking Communion as she was publicly pro-choice. usatoday.com/news/religion/2008-05-12-communion-abortion_N.htm
I am very worried about scandal in my own circumstances and make every effort to correct any assumptions. Although Father Jim has told me that I am not required to tell people my personal business, I bought this pig in a poke when I made it everyone’s business to know that I was gay when I was living in sin before I started down the path of conversion. I think that once you march in those pride parades, you are, in fact, obligated to do what you can to publicly denounce the same lifestyle/sin choices.
So, if two men at my parish were living chastely but continued to hold hands at church, I would fully expect the priest to deny them Communion. Same if someone wore a pro-abortion t-shirt to Mass or walked in carrying condoms and passing them out. I know those sound ludicrous, but that’s scandal. things that make you gasp or turn someone away from Christ and the Church’s message.
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beafedor
Guest
This, dear brother is exactly how I felt about my over sexualized lifestyle and abortions before. That’s the devil trying to cut us off from the Sacraments. Persevere, don’t be afraid. You don’t know how many graces and blessings you will receive from this Sacrament. I will pray for you and your friend.
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Mrs_Sally
Guest
I responded in the other thread you started also. One of the earlier PPs here said something that I think applies in this situation. She said she doesn’t indetify herself as ‘gay’ or call the women she lives with her ‘partner’. The man in the article does identify himself as gay and is upset that hereosexuals living in sin were not called out as he was. I agree with the idea that these other men, if they had been Prince of the Carnival, should also have been denied communion.
In your situation, you are trying to live within the guidelines God has given the Church. Since that is so, it would probbaly be best for you to stop identifying yourself as gay, and stop researching articles about how the Church responds to openly gay people. Your goal is to live a holy life. Your may have been given a heavy burden, but we all should be striving for holiness.
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crazzeto
Guest
Yes, actually a priest can deny communion to someone if they know it will cause scandle and is frankly, bad for their soul to receive. For instance there was a bishop not long ago who denied communion to gay protesters who thought it would be a good idea to try and receive communion wearing their pro-gay-lifestyle badges etc.
Since you are at least, abstaining form sexuality and are seeking a better life in Christ I don’t believe that this kind of a scandle would be arisen in your particular case however. Your situation is very much like the lesbian poster who answered not long ago (though I have a half a mind to say “former lesbian” etc since typically the title denotes the lifestyle).
So yes, communion can be denied but it wouldn’t be unless there is some reason to believe it will actually cause scandle. Keep seeking the kingdom!
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GraceDK
Guest
If the priest is absolutely certain that the man is in a state of mortal sin its probably okay to deny him the eucharist for his own protection. I know eg. Padre Pio denied Eucharist to people, but mind you, he had a prophetic gift and thus knew what was repented off and what not.
I think it would not normally be okay for a priest to deny anyone Eucharist, and I see them even give non-Catholics the Eucharist… basically because they cannot know what is hidden in the heart of man.
Anyone might have gone to confession the same day in another church… Priest cannot know.
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michelleds
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trials
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OK, my tuppence-worth, though I fear it may be unpopular. Here goes:
I would advise you to live separately. As you are now, it’s like being a chocoholic in a sweet shop, the temptation is paraded in front of your nose every single day, you’re thinking, OK I’m gay, he’s gay, we love each other…
One brilliant piece of Catholic advice is “avoid occasions of sin”. My experience, I’m not gay but I used to behave in an extremely immoral way, and all the immoral behaviour was normally carried out after alcohol, as in, after pubs and nightclubs. I know how weak I am - even with my strong faith since my re-conversion. There have been a few though rare occasions, ordinary events like wedding parties, birthdays, where I’ve ended up having one or two drinks in a pub or nightclub, and all the same old feelings come back - the feeling that I could so easily fall off the precipice into sin again. So now, unless I feel I would be insulting someone, I avoid these parties, and go out maybe once or twice a year in total. Really. I’d love to go out, but I don’t like the temptations that attack me when I do.
Or another example. As a heterosexual, if I decided to live with a boyfriend chastely - would that be wise? If we were both attracted to each other, loved each other…? No. Every day I would be under the stress of just giving in to my human instincts. If we lived separately however, the occasion of sin would not be so accessible, if you see what I mean. Add to that, wouldn’t we be giving a bad example to others - a boyfriend and girlfriend living together? This is 2011 - who would believe we were living together chastely even if we genuinely were?
It just seems to me that you are so constantly aware of these temptations and this struggle because you have voluntarily put yourself into a situation that could very easily lead to sin. When I’m not drunk, I don’t go around thinking, “I’m a hetero with needs that I’m trying to suppress” - you seem to be constantly aware of the fact that you have SSA.
Which is why I have chosen the unpopular answer - avoid occasions of sin.
I would advise you to live separately. As you are now, it’s like being a chocoholic in a sweet shop, the temptation is paraded in front of your nose every single day, you’re thinking, OK I’m gay, he’s gay, we love each other…
One brilliant piece of Catholic advice is “avoid occasions of sin”. My experience, I’m not gay but I used to behave in an extremely immoral way, and all the immoral behaviour was normally carried out after alcohol, as in, after pubs and nightclubs. I know how weak I am - even with my strong faith since my re-conversion. There have been a few though rare occasions, ordinary events like wedding parties, birthdays, where I’ve ended up having one or two drinks in a pub or nightclub, and all the same old feelings come back - the feeling that I could so easily fall off the precipice into sin again. So now, unless I feel I would be insulting someone, I avoid these parties, and go out maybe once or twice a year in total. Really. I’d love to go out, but I don’t like the temptations that attack me when I do.
Or another example. As a heterosexual, if I decided to live with a boyfriend chastely - would that be wise? If we were both attracted to each other, loved each other…? No. Every day I would be under the stress of just giving in to my human instincts. If we lived separately however, the occasion of sin would not be so accessible, if you see what I mean. Add to that, wouldn’t we be giving a bad example to others - a boyfriend and girlfriend living together? This is 2011 - who would believe we were living together chastely even if we genuinely were?
It just seems to me that you are so constantly aware of these temptations and this struggle because you have voluntarily put yourself into a situation that could very easily lead to sin. When I’m not drunk, I don’t go around thinking, “I’m a hetero with needs that I’m trying to suppress” - you seem to be constantly aware of the fact that you have SSA.
Which is why I have chosen the unpopular answer - avoid occasions of sin.
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mangy_dog
Guest
The pain, suffering, persecution, doubts and pressure from family and friends is just the beginning.I’m 31 year old male and I am living with my male partner and we are both practicing Catholic’s. We are living together for a year now and we are both concerned about saving our souls, and decided to live and practice chastity for the rest of our lives together. We are totally align with the catholic church’s teaching on homosexuality, I mean we neither support nor encourages gay marriages and pro choice issues, and due to this we are getting the heat from our friends, relatives and neighbors and often accused of being hypocrites for being a gay couple and not supporting gay rights.
Our situation is like this, we live together , we both love each other very much, we are in a monogamous relationship, we practice our faith like receiving the sacraments like confession and the Eucharist, saying the rosary and divine mercy chaplet, devotion to the saints, we have sacramental like holy water and the scapular etc. But we are also both homosexual in a homosexual relationship, but we do abstain from sex and avoid occasion of sin as much as we can and God is the center of our lives. One thing though is I really love him very much and our relationship has gotten to that point where its not centered in sex which most homosexual relationships are, but its more on companionship and faith. Personality I cannot imagine to continue life without him, but I don’t want to go to hell either, and I am not sure if the chastity thing (like abstaining from sex and other sins of the flesh like masturbation, pornography etc.) would be enough to save us, or are we still condemned for eternal damnation when we die unless we both end the relationship and live on our separate ways? We are striving to avoid every mortal sin possible and stay in the state of grace as long as we can. I am having a hard time to find a compassionate ear about this, usually the things that I see is that we either separate or burn in hell irregardless if we are practicing chastity or not, the mere fact that we are in a homosexual relationship is wrong, immoral and would lead our souls to hellfire and we would see each other in hell. At this point though, I am very certain about myself and also about my partner that I would want to spend the rest of my days here on earth with him, to be separated from someone you love so much is like suicide.
Your enlightenment is much appreciated
Don’t think it strange that these adversities should come against you…God is treating you like He treats everyone that has decided to do the right thing.
Lucifer does not want to let go. The battle will intensify. Be strong and perseverent.
There is something additional you and your friend can do - hope you’re sitting down - you need to stop proclaiming or professing that you are homosexual; a couple; partners or any other terminology that denotes an affirmation of homosexual activity except as testimony to benefit someone else.
What you two have determined to do is nothing short of heroic. Especially in this time and age. Heroic.
This is the age when heros, saints and martyrs will be made. Sadly it will also be the age that sees the great apostasy.
Soldier on.
Love mangy dog.
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josephback
Guest
I think its good that you’re trying to live right, and we all struggle with certain sins. I’m not really qualified to speak on the living together but chaste issue, so you might want to talk with a priest on that one. Say a prayer for youI’m 31 year old male and I am living with my male partner and we are both practicing Catholic’s. We are living together for a year now and we are both concerned about saving our souls, and decided to live and practice chastity for the rest of our lives together. We are totally align with the catholic church’s teaching on homosexuality, I mean we neither support nor encourages gay marriages and pro choice issues, and due to this we are getting the heat from our friends, relatives and neighbors and often accused of being hypocrites for being a gay couple and not supporting gay rights.
Our situation is like this, we live together , we both love each other very much, we are in a monogamous relationship, we practice our faith like receiving the sacraments like confession and the Eucharist, saying the rosary and divine mercy chaplet, devotion to the saints, we have sacramental like holy water and the scapular etc. But we are also both homosexual in a homosexual relationship, but we do abstain from sex and avoid occasion of sin as much as we can and God is the center of our lives. One thing though is I really love him very much and our relationship has gotten to that point where its not centered in sex which most homosexual relationships are, but its more on companionship and faith. Personality I cannot imagine to continue life without him, but I don’t want to go to hell either, and I am not sure if the chastity thing (like abstaining from sex and other sins of the flesh like masturbation, pornography etc.) would be enough to save us, or are we still condemned for eternal damnation when we die unless we both end the relationship and live on our separate ways? We are striving to avoid every mortal sin possible and stay in the state of grace as long as we can. I am having a hard time to find a compassionate ear about this, usually the things that I see is that we either separate or burn in hell irregardless if we are practicing chastity or not, the mere fact that we are in a homosexual relationship is wrong, immoral and would lead our souls to hellfire and we would see each other in hell. At this point though, I am very certain about myself and also about my partner that I would want to spend the rest of my days here on earth with him, to be separated from someone you love so much is like suicide.
Your enlightenment is much appreciated
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lauraabarlow
Guest
You both are very precious to God-I am no expert by any means yet if your confessor knows your situation, and you both live as brothers chastely, I don’t see a problem with your arrangement. I hate to confess this yet I used to light-heartedly make jokes about gay folks. Boy-was I totally off-base. My oldest came out of the closet, so to speak, goes to safe space meetings, and the coordinator and a transgender guest speaker helped me out tremendously when my car battery went belly-up. My teenager finished up with the meeting and both of them jump started my car. I was forty minutes from home-there is goodness in all sorts of people. Getting back to your situation-just run all this by a priest that to see what he has to say. If your heart and intentions are pure-and it sounds like it is, you and your partner should be fine. It isn’t a sin in itself to be gay-it is acting out on it that is-same with straight-folks who isn’t married having relations outside of marriage. It isn’t my place to judge but to encourage you and your partner to seek first the kingdom of God-to put Him first in all aspects of your lives. Sounds like you are doing just that-God loves you-hugs-:hug3:
:getholy:
:getholy:
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sipuf
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An act is judged to be moral or immoral based on the intentions of the mind, not the physical action of the body. The reason for this is that the body is an agent of the mind. That is, the mind commands the actions of the body. The act of punching someone is not sin on its own. If the punch was commanded by the mind to the fist for the intention of self defense, then the act is virtuous for it is an act which preserves life. On the other hand if you punch someone for the sole purpose of hurting them, then this act would clearly be a vice.
For you, your intention is to love another being. If commanding your body to live in the same home of your partner nurtures and strengthens this love, then the act is morally good. Loving another being is necessarily virtuous. Likewise if hugging, kissing, fornication, etc… also serves the purpose of strengthening the bond between you and your partner, then these acts would necessarily be virtuous.
St Thomas Aqunias once said “Because of the diverse conditions of humans, it happens that some acts are virtuous to some people, as appropriate and suitable to them, while the same acts are immoral for others, as inappropriate to them.” It is important that we not be so concerned with the physical actions of the body. As mentioned before, the body serves the will of the intellect. If your will is to love (and living with your partner strengthens this love) then by all means live with your partner.
I hope this helps. I will keep you in my prayers.
For you, your intention is to love another being. If commanding your body to live in the same home of your partner nurtures and strengthens this love, then the act is morally good. Loving another being is necessarily virtuous. Likewise if hugging, kissing, fornication, etc… also serves the purpose of strengthening the bond between you and your partner, then these acts would necessarily be virtuous.
St Thomas Aqunias once said “Because of the diverse conditions of humans, it happens that some acts are virtuous to some people, as appropriate and suitable to them, while the same acts are immoral for others, as inappropriate to them.” It is important that we not be so concerned with the physical actions of the body. As mentioned before, the body serves the will of the intellect. If your will is to love (and living with your partner strengthens this love) then by all means live with your partner.
I hope this helps. I will keep you in my prayers.
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