Homosexual crushes

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Hi, my friend, who is catholic, just recently ‘came out’ as a bi-sexual person. Which i am aware is fine so long as he observes the rules of the church. However he then proceeded to tell everyone those who he thought were attractive, and was very open about it. Some of his closest friends were on his list. ( not me, I’m too skinny!). My friends want to know what should a catholic do in this situation. As i said he is very open and blatantly stares at people he finds attractive. They would like a catholic answer that is not my own. They are slightly distressed and would like guidance. Thank you. Feel free to move this if in wrong place.
 
He needs to get some good manners and learn non-intrusive and non-manipulative behaviour.

It takes most of us a lifetime!

There’s nothing in the slightest bit remarkable about having a crush. I’m glad you used that under-used word.

Having a crush doesn’t place him in a different caste of people.

I’m so glad your friends are so alert themselves, and willing to not be misled. So when that person isn’t there, you can give them encouragement. Then maybe between you you will be able to help him, pray for him, etc
 
I just remembered that when I was in that age group I and a classmate were freaking everyone out with our “Jesus freakery”! And I gather that an older age group used to bore each other with their Goon impressions.

So hopefully it’ll gradually blow over, in this case especially since there are connotations of not giving others space to relate freely.
 
That is wonderful news that he has found himself. I hope he finds someone he loves and joy in his life.
 
NM505StKate said:
That is wonderful news that he has found himself. I hope he finds someone he loves and joy in his life.
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You do realize that promoting homosexual behavior is not in keeping with Church teaching… right?

Since you indicate that you’re Catholic, I just thought I’d point that out…
 
When did finding someone attractive equate to having a crush? I’m not bi or gay and I think people from both sexes are attractive. That doesn’t mean I want to be with them or have a crush on them.
Staring is rude behavior, though.
 
NM505StKate said:
He is bi.
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Yes, but this topic is dealing specifically with his homosexual urges, which you seemed to be encouraging and promoting as a positive thing. If this wasn’t your intent, I apologize.
 
ProdglArchitect said:
Yes, but this topic is dealing specifically with his homosexual urges, which you seemed to be encouraging and promoting as a positive thing. If this wasn’t your intent, I apologize.
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Being bi means you are attracted to both genders. You like what you like. Also the OP says nothing about urges. Just that his friend has accepted himself and is open. The staring is a bit creepy but how are we to know OP isn’t exaggerating. All my first post said is I am happy for the friend and hope he finds love.
 
Regina7 said:
Which means that he’s both homo and heterosexual. Homosexuality is intrinsically disordered. The Church condemns it. As a stated Catholic, you should know this.
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Are you somehow assuming that finding “someone he loves and joy in his life” can only happen with another man? :confused:

Otherwise I see nothing wrong with what Kate actually wrote.
 
DrTaffy said:
Are you somehow assuming that finding “someone he loves and joy in his life” can only happen with another man? :confused:

Otherwise I see nothing wrong with what Kate actually wrote.
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A man “comes out” and Kate said “it’s great that he found himself.” I find something very wrong with that.
 
I agree that manners are important but again we are only knowing what the OP said. As far as we know the friend doesn’t stare or maybe he glances, like more people do seeing someone attractive.
 
I have always had a problem with the appellation of “bi”. If we’re talking about hormones, well, what is the physical basis for being attracted to both sexes?
Herein lies the riddle. According to “born that way” it is either/or. So which? Women who identify as same sexers, frequently jump from one side to the other.
As for men who are attracted to women, shouldn’t it mean that this is the base hormonal orientation and the other is secondary?
What I am saying is “born that way” is normal sexuality. The concept of bi-sexuality only proves that in a back-handed way even if no one would like to admit it.
 
zamyrabyrd said:
I have always had a problem with the appellation of “bi”. If we’re talking about hormones, well, what is the physical basis for being attracted to both sexes?
Herein lies the riddle. According to “born that way” it is either/or. So which? Women who identify as same sexers, frequently jump from one side to the other.
As for men who are attracted to women, shouldn’t it mean that this is the base hormonal orientation and the other is secondary?
What I am saying is “born that way” is normal sexuality. The concept of bi-sexuality only proves that in a back-handed way even if no one would like to admit it.
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So one can’t be attracted to both common genders? How about asexuals? Demisexuals? Born that way is exactly that. I am pansexual, meaning I am attracted to all genders.
 
Thanks for all comments so far. It is helping my friend get over it. It might be of help to know that he referred to the feelings as ’ crushes ’ and that those he has feelings for he has openly categorised into ’ fit ’ and ’ cute '. Which distressed my friends no end when he told them that.
 
Catholic_Duck said:
Thanks for all comments so far. It is helping my friend get over it. It might be of help to know that he referred to the feelings as ’ crushes ’ and that those he has feelings for he has openly categorised into ’ fit ’ and ’ cute '. Which distressed my friends no end when he told them that.
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Get over what? So he told friends he finds them cute or fit? Even if he wasnt’ bi what is wrong with telling someone they are cute or fit? Maybe how it is said but if someone called me either I would be taking it as a compliment.
 
NM505StKate said:
So one can’t be attracted to both common genders? How about asexuals? Demisexuals? Born that way is exactly that. I am pansexual, meaning I am attracted to all genders.
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I don’t care about nor recognize the smörgåsbord of gender theory which to me is phony science.
 
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