Homosexual crushes

[Regina7]

Get over what? So he told friends he finds them cute or fit? Even if he wasnt’ bi what is wrong with telling someone they are cute or fit? Maybe how it is said but if someone called me either I would be taking it as a compliment.

Because most people are very uncomfortable when someone of the same sex does this.

 

[zamyrabyrd]

Get over what? So he told friends he finds them cute or fit? Even if he wasnt’ bi what is wrong with telling someone they are cute or fit? Maybe how it is said but if someone called me either I would be taking it as a compliment.

Doesn’t he have anything better to do?

 

[Regina7]

Doesn’t he have anything better to do?

It seems that many who “come out” want everyone to know and celebrate their “finding themselves.” It’s sick.

 

[DrTaffy]

A man “comes out” and Kate said “it’s great that he found himself.” I find something very wrong with that.

Because denying who you are is a good thing? Is it better to acknowledge and deal with your faults, or to never even admit to them? Or, dealing with what she actually said, what is wrong with hoping that a friend finds someone he loves and joy in his life? Unless you bizarrely assume that only homosexual relationships result in love and joy in your life.

 

[MaryT777]

Doesn’t he have anything better to do?

I thought the same thing. I might think he is purposefully doing this to his friends for the “kicks” of it to see their response. Could be wrong though. Acceptable social behavior is not staring at people or glancing over your friends and verbally expressing how “fit” of “cute” they are. It all sounds immature to me.

JMO

Mary.

 

[DrTaffy]

It seems that many who “come out” want everyone to know and celebrate their “finding themselves.” It’s sick.

So you naturally conceal your own romantic relationships and religious affiliation? Or is there a double standard here? :ehh:

Homosexuals (and bisexuals) just want not to have to conceal who they are. As they have historically had to do. Thanks, in the western world, largely due to interpretations of Christian morality. Compare and contrast to how Christians respond to being told to keep their religion to themselves.

 

[DrTaffy]

I might think he is purposefully doing this to his friends for the “kicks” of it to see their response.

So if someone suggested that you said that out of vicious hatred, loathing and malice towards bisexuals, would you see that as a neutral comment, or would you take offence?

 

[Regina7]

Because denying who you are is a good thing? Is it better to acknowledge and deal with your faults, or to never even admit to them? Or, dealing with what she actually said, what is wrong with hoping that a friend finds someone he loves and joy in his life? Unless you bizarrely assume that only homosexual relationships result in love and joy in your life.

No, I don’t think homosexual relationships result in love or joy since they are instrinsically disordered. I think you misunderstand what I say. Read some of Kate’s posts. It’s pretty clear where she stands on things.

 

[Regina7]

So you naturally conceal your own romantic relationships and religious affiliation? Or is there a double standard here? :ehh:

Homosexuals (and bisexuals) just want not to have to conceal who they are. As they have historically had to do. Thanks, in the western world, largely due to interpretations of Christian morality. Compare and contrast to how Christians respond to being told to keep their religion to themselves.

There’s a very big difference between hiding something and shouting it to the world…and then getting offended when people don’t celebrate with you.

 

[MaryT777]

So if someone suggested that you said that out of vicious hatred, loathing and malice towards bisexuals, would you see that as a neutral comment, or would you take offence?

I would say the same thing if a heterosexual person was rating his friends as “fit and cute”
and staring obtrusively in public. It’s immature and inappropriate behavior no matter who does it.

Mary.

 

[RedFox0456]

You are correct. Should your friend observe the rules of the Church there isn’t an issue here. However, whether towards the same or the opposite gender, it seems his actions are inappropriate. Some people are arguing that he’s just being himself and shouldn’t be stifled, but that is not accurate. Unwelcome statements of attraction would certainly constitute sexual harassment, for instance. Being uncomfortable with what he is doing is not being uncharitable for exactly that reason.

 

[DrTaffy]

No, I don’t think homosexual relationships result in love or joy since they are instrinsically disordered. I think you misunderstand what I say. Read some of Kate’s posts. It’s pretty clear where she stands on things.

So why do you assume that her wishing this guy finds love and joy refers exclusively to homosexual relationships? Can you, for example, quote where she says that?:ehh:

 

[DrTaffy]

It seems that many who “come out” want everyone to know and celebrate their “finding themselves.” It’s sick.

There’s a very big difference between hiding something and shouting it to the world…and then getting offended when people don’t celebrate with you.

So you would never celebrate your own romantic relationship or religious beliefs? When the Pope was appointed, did Catholics keep it quiet? Were they demanding that everyone approve and celebrate it? Or is there a middle ground? A middle ground for everyone, or just for you?

 

[DrTaffy]

I would say the same thing if a heterosexual person was rating his friends as “fit and cute” and staring obtrusively in public. It’s immature and inappropriate behavior no matter who does it.

Mary.

Really? Every time a man compliments a woman you call him out asserting that “he is purposefully doing this to his friends for the “kicks” of it to see their response”?

 

[OJD]

Hi, my friend, who is catholic, just recently ‘came out’ as a bi-sexual person. Which i am aware is fine so long as he observes the rules of the church. However he then proceeded to tell everyone those who he thought were attractive, and was very open about it. Some of his closest friends were on his list. ( not me, I’m too skinny!). My friends want to know what should a catholic do in this situation. As i said he is very open and blatantly stares at people he finds attractive. They would like a catholic answer that is not my own. They are slightly distressed and would like guidance. Thank you. Feel free to move this if in wrong place.

“Coming out” isn’t easy. He’s had courage to tell you his sexual orientation. That can be difficult, to both come out to others by saying something, and subsequently living with the consequences of telling friends and the possibility of hostile reaction. Living with homosexual/bisexual inclinations isn’t easy, which is why the Catechism specifically exhorts at CCC #2359:

“Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”

(Bisexual people are both homosexual and heterosexual so the Church only really speaks on the proclivity to homosexuality)

Experiencing an attraction to a person of the same gender, Holy Mother Church teaches is not in itself sinful. It’s a “disordered tendancy” (CDF, Persona humana 8) - meaning it is not the way Almighty God our Creator intended procreation to be ordered in that way.

Telling your friends you’re attracted to them is dubious. I wouldn’t recommend he do that. It could lead to scandal. Acting on any homosexual urges the Church teaches is gravely contrary to the natural law (Lev 18:22) and would therefore be a sin.

If your friends were made to feel uncomfortable they should express their discomfort. A true friend doesn’t make unsettling remarks to a friend.

Blatantly staring at someone needn’t necessarily be intentional, and for that we shouldn’t judge him. Assuming he lives in accordance with Church teaching, he is not per se committing sin. Should he be staring out of lust that would be sinful to some degree. Only he and God knows his heart…

I would recommend your friends continue to love, support and treat him as such. Pray for him! I hope he finds love. In Jesus Christ! Living with same-sex attraction and living a chaste life - which the Church calls us to do - isn’t an easy cross to bear! It constitutes for most a serious trial (CCC #2358).

So long as your bisexual friend knows categorically that your other friends aren’t interested in him as anything but a friend there shouldn’t be a problem. Check him on labelling people as “fit” or attractive. Ask about it. Discuss it openly.

Above all: Pray for him, rise above it and move on. We’re all called to be great saints!

I recommend you check out CourageRC (couragerc.org) - who support same-sex attracted people. I would too check out Steve Gershom’s blog (stevegershom.com) - a man living with same-sex attraction and living in accordance with Church teaching. If you feel it appropriate your friend may like to see these resources.

Feel free to message my inbox if you wanna discuss anything privately - OJD

 

[Regina7]

So why do you assume that her wishing this guy finds love and joy refers exclusively to homosexual relationships? Can you, for example, quote where she says that?:ehh:

If I have misinterpreted her, I’m guessing she’d say so. She hasn’t.

 

[Regina7]

So you would never celebrate your own romantic relationship or religious beliefs? When the Pope was appointed, did Catholics keep it quiet? Were they demanding that everyone approve and celebrate it? Or is there a middle ground? A middle ground for everyone, or just for you?

Yes, there is a middle ground, which was exactly my point.

 

[on_the_hill]

No mention of ages, but I’ll guess that he’s young(ish).

So he has the enthusiasm of youth, of overcoming a fear. It’s like he has a new toy to play with and wants to try it out and show it off.

He’ll probably outgrow the phase of flaunting it.

He probably will. I’m straight, so what do I know?

 

[on_the_hill]

So why do you assume that her wishing this guy finds love and joy refers exclusively to homosexual relationships? Can you, for example, quote where she says that?:ehh:

I think you’re giving the benefit of the doubt when, reading between the lines, I don’t see a reason for giving the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Thorolfr]