Setter, I know the Church’s teachings. Very well, in fact. I don’t need you to remind me of them. I’ve tried to accept them, and I find them illogical. I do try to change this, I spend a lot of time trying to allow Catholic materials to convince me, and so far no luck.
Not to be quip sounding, but take the apparent illogic to the foot of the cross in prayer and prayer for the Holy Spirit to convince you and to be open to being enlightened in your understanding. The work of conversion is ultimately God’s and not ours.
1432 The human heart is heavy and hardened. God must give man a new heart. Conversion is first of all a work of the grace of God who makes our hearts return to him: “Restore us to thyself, O LORD, that we may be restored!” God gives us the strength to begin anew. It is in discovering the greatness of God’s love that our heart is shaken by the horror and weight of sin and begins to fear offending God by sin and being separated from him. The human heart is converted by looking upon him whom our sins have pierced:
Let us fix our eyes on Christ’s blood and understand how precious it is to his Father, for, poured out for our salvation it has brought to the whole world the grace of repentance. (CCC)
1428 Christ’s call to conversion continues to resound in the lives of Christians. This *second conversion *is an uninterrupted task for the whole Church who, “clasping sinners to her bosom, [is] at once holy and always in need of purification, [and] follows constantly the path of penance and renewal.” This endeavor of conversion is not just a human work. It is the movement of a “contrite heart,” drawn and moved by grace to respond to the merciful love of God who loved us first. (CCC)
2000 Sanctifying grace is an habitual gift, a stable and supernatural disposition that perfects the soul itself to enable it to live with God, to act by his love.
Habitual grace, the permanent disposition to live and act in keeping with God’s call, is distinguished from actual graces which refer to God’s interventions, whether at the beginning of conversion or in the course of the work of sanctification. (CCC)
I do follow them, though, as far as I can(it’s rather hard to not have my breath taken away by the beautiful girl who walks past me when i’m shopping, just like it’s hard to not forget everything that I was doing when I see an attractive male). But I really don’t want to get too into this.
Welcome to the club – You are talking about developing the virtue of *self-mastery *over our ordered and disordered sexual desires which is a primary task of
chastity.
2339 Chastity includes an
apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy. “Man’s dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end.” (CCC)
2342 Self-mastery is a
long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life. The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence. (CCC)
2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection. (CCC)
