Individuals experience same-sex attractions for different reasons. While there are similarities in the patterns of development, each individual has a unique, personal history. In the histories of persons who experience same-sex attraction, one frequently finds one or more of the following:
So not only does Catholicism know exactly where the Universe came from, why human beings are here, exactly what is right and wrong in the world - it knows exactly why I’m gay! Wow, that’s pretty impressive.
As a gay person, I should have experienced one of the following, Catholicism says. Let’s see if it’s correct:
· Alienation from the father in early childhood because the father was perceived as hostile or distant, violent or alcoholic (Apperson 1968[17]; Bene 1965[18]; Bieber 1962[19]; Fisher 1996[20]; Pillard 1988[21]; Sipova 1983[22])
Well, my dad was never an alcoholic and he was never violent. Occasionally he was slightly hostile, but only when I did something extremely offensive. It seems completely appropriate to threaten a little kid with a spanking after being extremely rude, right? And Dad was never distant. My childhood memories of him are very positive. He was - and still is - kind and caring.
· Mother was overprotective (boys) (Bieber, T. 1971[23]; Bieber 1962[24]; Snortum 1969[25])
My mother seemed appropriately protective of me throughout childhood. She let me go outside and play when I wanted to, and go on field trips, and school, and have friends, and all that, just like everyone else’s parents.
On the other hand, though, I believed my parents were extremely overprotective when they found out I was gay at age 15. They responded by locking me up in my room, pretty much, and cutting off contact with outsiders. But that was *after *I came out to them. Overprotection was the *result *of me being gay, not the *cause *of it.
· Mother was needy and demanding (boys) (Fitzgibbons 1999[26])
Not really. Both my parents wanted me to do my best in school and help out around the house, just like everyone else’s parents.
· Mother emotionally unavailable (girls) (Bradley 1997[27]; Eisenbud 1982[28])
I’m not a girl, but this doesn’t even apply to me.
· Parents failed to encourage same-sex identification (Zucker 1995[29])
No. I always clearly identified as male, and I can remember no evidence of my parents ever not encouraging that.
· Lack of rough and tumble play (boys) (Friedman 1980[30]; Hadden 1967a [31])
What the heck would this have to do with being gay anyway? Anyway, I had lots of male friends in childhood and sometimes it involved fights or physical contact. Such is the nature of growing up.
· Failure to identify with same/sex peers (Hockenberry 1987[32]; Whitman 1977[33])
Nope. My buddies were male. They were my friends. I wouldn’t have used the words “I identify with them” in childhood, but looking back it seems clear that I did.
· Dislike of team sports (boys) (Thompson 1973[34])
I loved schoolyard games and played often. I had fun running around and playing kickball or four-square. I wasn’t very good at basketball or football, but gave it a good try! I didn’t dislike the sport at all and enjoyed participating, even though I was terrible. How this can cause homosexuality is extremely unclear.
· Lack of hand/eye coordination and resultant teasing by peers (boys) (Bailey 1993[35]; Fitzgibbons 1999[36]; Newman 1976[37])
I actually have excellent hand/eye coordination. I’m amazing at first-person shooter video games; you should see me play a round of Call of Duty. I’m excellent. However, I am terrible at shooting a basketball, and always have been, though I can’t recall being teased for a lack of athletic ability in school. I was well liked for lots of miscellaneous reasons, like my charm and sense of humor.
· Sexual abuse or rape (Beitchman 1991[38]; Bradley 1997[39]; Engel 1981[40]; Finkelhor 1984; Gundlach 1967[41])
Wrong again!
· Social phobia or extreme shyness (Golwyn 1993[42])
I am an introvert, but I don’t have a social phobia.
· Parental loss through death or divorce (Zucker 1995)
Nope, parents have been together forever, and it seems it will stay that way for a long time!
· Separation from parent during critical developmental stages (Zucker 1995)
No. My parents have always been there, for better or for worse.
In some cases, same-sex attraction or activity occurs in a patient with other psychological diagnosis, such as:
· major depression (Fergusson 1999[43])
I was depressed *after *I came out, *because of the reaction I got from my parents and others. *It was the *result *of being gay, and not the cause.
· suicidal ideation (Herrell 1999)
Nope.
· generalized anxiety disorder
Nope.
Nope.
· conduct disorder in adolescents
Nope.
· borderline personality disorder (Parris 1993[44]; Zubenko 1987[45])
Nope.
· schizophrenia (Gonsiorek 1982) [46]
Nope.
· pathological narcissism (Bychowski 1954[47]; Kaplan 1967[48])
Nope.
I’m gay. None of the above apply to me, or presented themselves after I was very clearly gay and out. These “facts” apparently aren’t as true as some would like them to be!