Hostility towards lifelong singles

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DarkLight said:
Modern US society has an unhealthy focus on the nuclear family as the sole unit for all need for human connection.
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The US is a fairly young country and is built on the ideal of rugged individualism. Just a man and his wife and children.

The rest of the world is more community oriented and extended families are more the norm.

The healthcare system reflects this. It is up to the individual to procure healthcare for their family while in other parts of the world, healthcare is a community responsibility.
 
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I lack the ability to meet single women so I’m a perma single. Thankfully, I’ve never noticed anyone being hostile to me for it.
 
I’ve never seen or heard of any hostility. But I’m married.

My best friend is single. I’ve known her for 30 years. I don’t remember her ever going on a date. Or anything like that.

I’m not sure why it is anyone’s business.
 
It’s nobody’s business. Staying single is a personal decision that nobody is obligated to explain to anyone.
 
There are some people who think the world is entitled to their opinion and won’t hesitate to share it no matter how uninformed.
 
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And, there are those who think the whole world is obligated to listen to their opinion.
 
While I think “hostility” is merely a poor choice of words, I would say that when I reached about 40 and was still single that I caught the occasional vibe that, well, let’s just say my bachelorhood at that point wasn’t increasing my popularity with some people. With those, it was as if I didn’t fit into any of their categories for social interaction. This can include people that one would previously have expected a warm and friendly response from, say, at church and even the parish priests. I suggest lowering your expectations from people in general, and enjoy the pleasant surprises that come along.
 
Buks said:
While I think “hostility” is merely a poor choice of words, I would say that when I reached about 40 and was still single that I caught the occasional vibe that, well, let’s just say my bachelorhood at that point wasn’t increasing my popularity with some people. With those, it was as if I didn’t fit into any of their categories for social interaction. This can include people that one would previously have expected a warm and friendly response from, say, at church and even the parish priests. I suggest lowering your expectations from people in general, and enjoy the pleasant surprises that come along.
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I know what you’re saying. You seem to reach a point where it becomes impossible to change. All of a sudden, your existing friends don’t have time to interact with you as they’re busy with their families and kids and most new people you meet who are near your age are married and have kids and don’t have time to interact with new friends, so interacting socially with anyone just seems pointless.
 
Bataar said:
I know what you’re saying. You seem to reach a point where it becomes impossible to change. All of a sudden, your existing friends don’t have time to interact with you as they’re busy with their families and kids and most new people you meet who are near your age are married and have kids and don’t have time to interact with new friends, so interacting socially with anyone just seems pointless.
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Well stated. The point/motivation for social interaction may need some tuning as time goes by. I think singles who are 40+ need to shift toward focusing on activities of specific interest to themselves as individuals. As opposed to old friends who have different demands on their time. You can start a Meetup group and at least make new acquaintances, centered on recreation of your preference.
 
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