In all charity, I think we are going around in circles on this, so again, we will just have to agree to disagree. There is such a thing as right and wrong.
I agree–we have to disagree! But I do want to point out that this exact argument is going on in the Church at the highest levels. I have written this elsewhere, but it’s worth repeating. A little analogy.
The state passes a traffic law: You have to stop at a red light. If you go through a red light that is “wrong.” But wait! What if you are rushing to the hospital with a dying person? Or any one of many, many good excuses? And what if the police stop you after you run the light, and you give them your excuse. Now the policeman has to decide: Should he give you a ticket or not? And if he does, and you go to court and explain your “wrong” action to the judge, he has to decide whether to fine you or let you go.
Now in this little analogy we have people like Cardinal Muller in Germany saying (in effect) “Running a red light is against the law. It’s wrong. If you do it, you will be punished.” And some cardinals and Francis on the other side are saying “We know that running a red light is generally not a good thing, but there could be valid reasons why you do it. We have to look at each case and the intention behind running the red light.” Simplified, but that’s basically it.
In fact, I would side with Cardinal Muller–you need laws against running red lights. If you don’t, people will get the idea it’s OK, which would lead to chaos. But at the same time, you have to realize each individual act has to be judged on its own merits, and no law can ever encompass all possibilities.
And if you can’t think of any scenarios where the act of committing adultery would be sinless, I certainly can. But this is a PG site! But think about it.
There are other religions (that will remain nameless so the moderators don’t get excited) where the action per se is simply wrong. It you do X, you have sinned. That’s it. No excuses, no extenuating circumstance, none of this nonsense about free will and consent and intention. You do it, you’re guilty. But that’s not the Catholic Church.