How do I console my friend who just got married and it’s like super obvious he regrets it?

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Le_Crouton

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I have a friend who just got married and it’s pretty obvious he regrets it. He says stuff like he would’ve married a non American woman if he could do it over again or if he would’ve known how many mental problems she had before the wedding he would’ve never gotten married

I suggested counseling and suggested he talk to his priest but really idk what else to do to console the guy
 
Like two years. He wants counseling and she doesn’t
 
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And why a 'non-American?"

I remember the first year of marriage was a little rough getting used to living as a couple, making compromises, etc., but to be married just a few months and to be talking about ‘mental health issues’ and complaining about his wife’s ethnicity seems a little. . .strange. Perhaps he had some unrealistic expectations of marriage?
 
I can understand where he’s coming from though. Shes like clinically depressed and isn’t seeking help for it
 
You think that with a husband who is regretting his marriage, blaming her for not being ‘subservient’, and blaming her for ‘issues’, she might not have a teeny weeny reason for being depressed??
 
Being depressed is one thing. Not seeking help for it is another
 
Muting this thread, not to be rude. Hope all will be well for people.
 
Le_Crouton said:
I have a friend who just got married and it’s pretty obvious he regrets it. He says stuff like he would’ve married a non American woman if he could do it over again or if he would’ve known how many mental problems she had before the wedding he would’ve never gotten married

I suggested counseling and suggested he talk to his priest but really idk what else to do to console the guy
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If they have only been married a few months, he needs to have realistic expectations. This is still a time where they are getting settled into living together as husband and wife.

Honestly, he is wrong to be discussing this with you. To tell you she has mental problems because she is depressed is inappropriate. And you, for your part, do not need to console him. If anything, you should only suggest that he and/or his wife, or both of them, get counseling. Suggest he talk to his priest if he is Catholic. He sounds a little too ready to throw up his hands and give up instead of trying different things to help the situation. Do not console him, instead, remind him of his vows to love her in sickness and in health. Give him a pep talk to be strong for his wife, not to be a man looking for his wife to be subservient.
 
Honestly I wish he wouldn’t complain to me because I don’t really have the best outlook toward marriage anyway and him complaining makes it worse
 
Then maybe you should just not discuss marriage with people that have a negative view or experience. Spend time with, or read about healthy, strong marriages and how to achieve them. No good will come your own way if you surround yourself with negativity concerning marriage.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Then maybe you should just not discuss marriage with people that have a negative view or experience. Spend time with, or read about healthy, strong marriages and how to achieve them. No good will come your own way if you surround yourself with negativity concerning marriage.
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Would be nice if there were more people out there who had positive marriages
 
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