How do I explain same sex marriage to my seven year old?

[Annalisapur]

Thank you all. I found all your answers helpful. The tv show was called The Loud House snd it was on Nick. I kept it simple and told him there were all kinds of families, Most have a Mommy and a Daddy , but sometimes there are two mommy’s and two daddy’s. I told him it was probably because of divorce or maybe just a friend moved in and the kids just decided to call them by mommy or daddy too but they are just pretending. My seven year old goes to a catholic school and he has never been exposed to same sex marriage before and I felt I was led by The Holy Spirit to give him this answer.
He was fine with that though and just said “ yes, they are just pretending” and started laughing.
One thing I have learned from this is to be extremely careful what my child is watching on the Tv. Just because it’s on a kids channel does not mean it’s suitable for young Childten. Thank you all.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

There is no need to use words like “it’s a sin” when the kid himself is not going to be committing the sin at age 7. My mother would occasionally have to talk to me when I was under age 10 about kids with divorced parents, or neighbors and relatives living openly in various heterosexual situations not accepted by the church, and she would say things like what I said above. “The Catholic Church doesn’t allow that.”

I think most kids can connect the dots between “the Church doesn’t permit that” and “such and such is a sin”.

And, Ike you said, you don’t want your kids saying things to upset other kids over things that arent their fault and they have no control over.

I guess a good way to put it is something like : …but don’t say anything to your classmate, marriages and divorces are grownup decisions and not children’s decisions.

 

[Annalisapur]

Yes, that the show!

 

[goout]

CCHcolonel:

That would be a lie though. A family is a mother and a father and children.

A biological family fits that description. Believe it or not, there are places where a same sex couple can adopt a child and be a family. Or a child can be the biological offspring of one of the parents, and adopted by the other. This really is a thing. And it is a real family.

A good rule of thumb is we don’t use the exceptional to prove the mean. Or put another way, extraordinary examples don’t determine what human nature reveals.

Of course there are families of all kinds that must function, and many do function heroically,
and at the same time…
A child can only come to be through the union of a man and woman, and a society that cannot observe this and affirm it is literally…insane, or “not healthy”.

 

[0331]

It’s hard to avoid all instances of the mocking of Christian marriage and the family now. It’s not just common on TV, but public schools are teaching that same-sex marriage and sodomy are acceptable and desirable, too. The media doesn’t accept that there’s an appropriate age to teach kids with this stuff, either, and it confronts then with it early and often.

If we really believe the truth about marriage and sex we need to speak the truth about it—because if we don’t, our kids will believe whatever the TV tells them.

 

[pnewton]

I know this is not a popular answer, but parenting isn’t a popularity contest. I told my kids that there are some really strange people in the world, some confused, some weird and some bad. We don’t want to watch shows with any of that, and shut the television off. I do not want him thinking of these sorts of shenanigan as just an option.

It this sort of answer isn’t popular to the gay community, maybe their agenda should be dialed back a bit to accommodate people of faith, not that they are the most tolerant of folks.

 

[rinnie]

No real answer he is too young to truly understand. I would say oh it’s TV. Just love him and teach him to love everyone. Theres a better time down the line to explain more complicated things. Let him enjoy being a kid. Kids have enough stress make his life as simple as possible

 

[TC3033]

You just say there are all kinds of families.

Every family is different.

Keep it honest.
Keep it simple.
Keep it kind.

I agree with just telling your child there are all kinds of families and we should respect other people’s families, even those that aren’t like our own family.

Fully agree with the above. That’s pretty much what we’d say.

Let me guess, it was The Loud House .

Yes, that the show!

I get a kick out of that show…If the boys are watching, I tend to get drawn in for an episode.

 

[JanetF]

I found those questionable shows to be good segways into teachable moments, just as you experienced. You have to formulate the answer to the best of your ability. I usually took a deep breath and said God, please help me say the correct thing. I think your answer was reasonable since you don’t know their particular circumstance.

The younger they are, the simpler the answer should be. You can get into the nitty gritty as they get older. By the times they are tweens/teens, they can understand more complicated topics.

 

[AdamP88]

Believe it or not, there are places where a same sex couple can adopt a child and be a family.

Well they can pretend to be a family.

 

[paperwight]

A child can only come to be through the union of a man and woman,

No, that’s not completely the case, is it? A child can only come to be by the union of sperm and ova. There doesn’t need to be a union of a man and a woman.

Obviously, I am aware that AID and the rest is disapproved of. But it remains the case that a union is not necessary.

 

[goout]

goout:

A child can only come to be through the union of a man and woman,

No, that’s not completely the case, is it? A child can only come to be by the union of sperm and ova. There doesn’t need to be a union of a man and a woman.

Obviously, I am aware that AID and the rest is disapproved of. But it remains the case that a union is not necessary.

So let me see if I understand:
Are you saying that you can collect sperm from a woman and an ova from a woman, to make a child?
Or a sperm from a man and and ova from a man to make a child?

Or are you saying something else…

 

[paperwight]

paperwight:

goout:

A child can only come to be through the union of a man and woman,

No, that’s not completely the case, is it? A child can only come to be by the union of sperm and ova. There doesn’t need to be a union of a man and a woman.

Obviously, I am aware that AID and the rest is disapproved of. But it remains the case that a union is not necessary.

So let me see if I understand:
Are you saying that you can collect sperm from a woman and an ova from a woman, to make a child?
Or a sperm from a man and and ova from a man to make a child?

Or are you saying something else…

I’m using the word you used i.e. ‘union’ in its usual sense of coming together. I don’t see what’s so hard to understand about that.

A man and a woman don’t need to come together/have a union/ have sex for a child to come about.

 

[goout]

I’m using the word you used i.e. ‘union’ in its usual sense of coming together. I don’t see what’s so hard to understand about that.

A man and a woman don’t need to come together/have a union/ have sex for a child to come about.

You’re technically right and no one disputes that.
But you understand the point.
Right?

 

[porthos11]

My son who is seven years old was watching a children’s show on TV… he thought it was so funny that someone could have two Daddy’s. He keeps asking me about it since then and I really don’t know what to say. I keep changing the subject but he keeps bringing it up again.

The same way it was taught to my generation: it is wrong, it is sinful, and is not the way God intended. God planned families to have a mommy and daddy. I presume you read your child Bible stories and teach the faith every night, so it should not be difficult to illustrate from the Bible stories how Adam and Eve, Ruth and Boaz, Isaac and Rebecca, Mary and Joseph were called by God to form families. And in the same breath, teach the child to be kind to everyone, including the two daddies, while recognizing that their example is not to be followed.

You have to be honest, because if you don’t do your duty to form your child, someone else will.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

I’m anticipating that it will come up before I am ready for it to, so we talk about marriage alot. We talk about how we met and got married and God’s plan for people with a vocation to marriage. I hope that if we have talked alot about what it is before they are confronted by what it is not, it won’t be as difficult of a discussion. I dont want to give them any answers that will disparage their classmates. I don’t have a prepared answer for when this happens. I usually botch the landing if I have a prepared answer.

 

[pnewton]

The same way it was taught to my generation: it is wrong, it is sinful, and is not the way God intended.

As a matter of practicality, I said what I did above to avoid this kind of language. While it sounds worse (sort of) to speak of being weird or confused, I thought it would make a better transition as they grew to address the people like this they actually meet. It is easier to understand people as patients than demons, at least during the transition from child to adult, where I hope there is an understanding we are all such patients to one extent.

Again, this was my shtick.

 

[Allegra]

I’ve been teaching for over a decade. There are any number of farcical mockeries of families out there, most of which are based on disfunctional heterosexual relationships. We’ve got grandparents raising a half dozen grandkids because they weren’t able to teach any of their own children how to behave. We’ve got kids sleeping on the sofa of whatever boyfriend their mom is with this particular week. We’ve got kids in the middle of insane custody battles. We’ve got kids being told by one parent to call their “significant’ other” mommy or daddy when they already have a real mother or father. We’ve got kids living in households with multiple boyfriends or girlfriends. We’ve got kids living with Aunt Libby because their parents are fighting over who HAS to have custody instead of who GETS to have custody. All of this is utter BS, and yet, that’s the only family that kid has. There’s no point in telling them their family is messed up. They already know that. Unless less you’ve got a better one for them to move in with, there’s no point criticizing.

 

[JMMJ]

Examples of bad families do not negate what a family is.

The purpose of a mouth is to speak truth and provide an (name removed by moderator)ut for food to sustain the body. That someone speaks lies and consumes poison does not change the properly ordered purpose of the mouth.

I don’t think Jesus ever referenced what a “real” family is. I could be wrong. I really just don’t remember ever reading about it.

I think you must be a very black and white thinker, given your definition of family.

I can’t relate (nor do I want to!).

 

[JMMJ]

So two things…

I don’t see any mention of family, there.

Even if it did mention family, it doesn’t say “This kind of a family is the only family there is. Others don’t count and are wrong.”

I wish I could say “close but no cigar”, but it isn’t even close.