How do I explain to someone being 90% naked is immoral

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Steave

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What I am trying to get at is wearing a swimsuit in public. My significant onther sees this different than I do. She was raised with it being a suitable practice, I on the other hand am utterly opposed to the practice of being immodest to get in return thats “cute” . One of her favorite activites to do is to go out to the lake and as much as I would like to, I never go because how uncomfortable I would be.

I am currently at a university and I see what girls wear these days and I guess I can see why one would think “Whats the big deal with a swimsuit?”. Girls at my university hardly wear clothes any more for that matter and so when girls see other girls dressed in this fashion and see how people give them attention they want the same attention too. How do I even begin the process of getting her to see the parradox of wearing a swimsuit, and so that she stop wearing one because she see’s how it is immoral and hurts her innerself, v.s being scared of my reaction? 🤷
 
I think you need to talk to your priest.

When one goes swimming, one wears a swimsuit. There are more or less modest swimsuits. But swimming and wearing a swimsuit is not inherently immoral. Certain particular choices might be.

A man can wear swim shorts, and a girl can wear a modest one piece or two piece trunk/tank combo and can wear shorts or a cover up out of the water.

If you believe that no swim attire is **ever **appropriate or that swimming/going to the lake itself is somehow off limits, I think you need to talk to your priest because you have a skewed view of the world.
 
Steave said:
o. How do I even begin the process of getting her to see the parradox of wearing a swimsuit, and so that she stop wearing one because she see’s how it is immoral and hurts her innerself, v.s being scared of my reaction? 🤷
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surely you don’t mean you want her to swim in the nude.
There is nothing immoral about swimming at a public bathing beach or pool and wearing a modest swimsuit that covers the private parts of the body. you are quite right to insist on the modest part, but beyond your rights in insisting she not swim at all.
 
‘Cute’ is the new word for ‘overtly sexual’. I see it all the time in the workplace. Girls will be wearing stuff that is really low cut, or short, or tight, and the female response to that kind of clothes is ‘That is so cute!’ In reality, it is saying ‘look at my butt/boobs’.

But yeah, dude…don’t try and tell your girl what she can and can’t do. BAD idea. This is not 1950 anymore.
 
Neither being 90% naked nor 100% naked is immoral. If a person is mostly or completely naked for sexual reasons, than that is an entirely different story.
 
Give her a good book on the “Theology of the Body”

If it really bothers you though, your relationship could be in for real trouble.

On a lighter note though there is an old calypso song song that bemoans the difficulty of marriage to a pretty woman, with the tag line.
“From my particular point of view , the only thing that you can do, is make an ugly woman your wife.”
 
Billy Graham is one of the few high profile evangelists not to have a sex scandal. Somebody asked him about it once and he told them that in his entire career he consciously and carefully never spent time alone with a woman unless he was in a public place or at least in full view of others (glass wall, etc). The point was that you can be a lot more successful avoiding sin if you avoid the occasion of sin.

You could explain it to your girlfriend the same way: “I’m crazy about you for your wit, your eyes, your … Men really are pigs. Women have their faults too, but men turn women into objects much easier than women do. I’m human too and when we go to the beach and you wear the string bikini its difficult for me to see you as a fantastic person. All I end up seeing are the boobs! If it affects ME that way, how do you think it affects guys who don’t even know you yet?”
 
We are taught to avoid not only sin, but also the near occasion of sin. In your situation, this could be your other’s seeking of compliments or admiration, which can lead to the sin of pride. Let’s flip the coin: She can become a near occasion of sin for those around her. She has no way of knowing, if she dresses immodestly, which men are fighting against lust, or which women might be fighting same sex attraction. It can also lead to envy by other women or to jealousy regarding her effect on their significant others. We are called to be considerate of those around us, and we do not know which battle against sin they might be engaged in. We are called to be holy, which means “set apart”. If we act and look just like everyone else, we are failing in holiness.
 
po18guy said:
We are taught to avoid not only sin, but also the near occasion of sin. In your situation, this could be your other’s seeking of compliments or admiration, which can lead to the sin of pride. Let’s flip the coin: She can become a near occasion of sin for those around her. She has no way of knowing, if she dresses immodestly, which men are fighting against lust, or which women might be fighting same sex attraction. It can also lead to envy by other women or to jealousy regarding her effect on their significant others. We are called to be considerate of those around us, and we do not know which battle against sin they might be engaged in. We are called to be holy, which means “set apart”. If we act and look just like everyone else, we are failing in holiness.
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fantastic answer
 
Looks like you finally found a response to agree with you. Hope it makes you feel validated in some way.

If it were my daughter, I would do everything within my influence to get her away from your presence. I would be truly scared for her.
 
Paul1961 said:
Looks like you finally found a response to agree with you. Hope it makes you feel validated in some way. If it were my daughter, I would do everything within my influence to get her away from your presence. I would be truly scared for her.
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I think the OP could have explained himself a little better. Do you see the OP as some sort of repressive ogre? It almost sounds like it. If he is against the wearing of a swimsuit at the beach, that is one thing, and requires some soul searching. But, to wear a swimsuit elsewhere is clearly inappropriate, is it not? What about the near occasion of sin? Ask your priest about certain women exposing too much as they present themselves for communion. The priest is a man, after all, and is subject to strong spiritual attack due to his position.

Why don’t we allow the OP to better explain himself before we judge him guilty?
 
Paul1961 said:
Looks like you finally found a response to agree with you. Hope it makes you feel validated in some way.

If it were my daughter, I would do everything within my influence to get her away from your presence. I would be truly scared for her.
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You have no worries my friend 👍
 
po18guy said:
I think the OP could have explained himself a little better. Do you see the OP as some sort of repressive ogre? It almost sounds like it. If he is against the wearing of a swimsuit at the beach, that is one thing, and requires some soul searching. But, to wear a swimsuit elsewhere is clearly inappropriate, is it not? What about the near occasion of sin? Ask your priest about certain women exposing too much as they present themselves for communion. The priest is a man, after all, and is subject to strong spiritual attack due to his position.

Why don’t we allow the OP to better explain himself before we judge him guilty?
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Better explanation of myself:

Swim suit does not always mean modest. The swim suit that is in question is the “Sports illustrated swimsuit edition” swimsuit. Swim suit in the context of this post is what my orignal title gives referance, truly revealing, something that you might see a playboy model wearing, what the majority of 20 year old women with beautiful bodies are wearing today, something to garner attention from peers.

The simple essence of the question is how to show somebody the wrong and how avoidable this case of immodesty is by finding more modest attire. (For those of you who think it’s perfectly cool to lay your daughter out so everyone can get a good look what is almost under the hood, Sorry that’s not right) Enjoying God’s beautiful creation at a beautiful beach is something desirable to do with your significant other, where my heart is crossed is why it is in attire that is at the apex of inappropriateness.

My desire is to pull away from the world; holiness is unattainable if one chooses both to appease the world and secular society. I am in love with my significant other and would love to grow in blissful holiness together.

The thought is would you see the Mother of God wearing a Sports illustrated “Swim Suit”?
 
Steave said:
What I am trying to get at is wearing a swimsuit in public. My significant onther sees this different than I do. She was raised with it being a suitable practice, I on the other hand am utterly opposed to the practice of being immodest to get in return thats “cute” . One of her favorite activites to do is to go out to the lake and as much as I would like to, I never go because how uncomfortable I would be.

I am currently at a university and I see what girls wear these days and I guess I can see why one would think “Whats the big deal with a swimsuit?”. Girls at my university hardly wear clothes any more for that matter and so when girls see other girls dressed in this fashion and see how people give them attention they want the same attention too. How do I even begin the process of getting her to see the parradox of wearing a swimsuit, and so that she stop wearing one because she see’s how it is immoral and hurts her innerself, v.s being scared of my reaction? 🤷
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I think you are the one with a problem. Wearing a swimsuit is NOT immoral and the Church does not teach that.
If your significant other is only a girlfriend/fiancee I would advise her to stay away from you. You sound like one of these control freaks which at its worst can lead to future wife abuse.
 
thistle said:
I think you are the one with a problem. Wearing a swimsuit is NOT immoral and the Church does not teach that.
If your significant other is only a girlfriend/fiancee I would advise her to stay away from you. You sound like one of these control freaks which at its worst can lead to future wife abuse.
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I think you should read further along, see definition of a “Swim suit” I don’t use the word bikini, it’s not really a word that used in adult conversation, once again, when I say swim suit the reference is “Sports illustrated Swimsuit edition swimsuit” Victoria’s secret “Swim suit”.

Would you see the mother of our savior in this type of swimming attire? As a male, I can say that the attire those women ages 18-25 have taken on these day’s is overtly sexual.

Society badgers men about what “pigs” they are, what about what women are, rather than your own opinion why not look of that what our lord had to say? If men are “pigs” what are the women that lead them to be that way? Sin must come into this world but woe to those who the occasion comes through.

Google Swimsuit without filter and look at the images, that is what society defines as a swimsuit.
 
Modesty is relative- both to your time (aka Victorian era vs. the present) and your location (a beach vs. a church). Wearing a swim suit while swimming makes sense- it’s practical and comfortable. Could she wear a more conservative one? Sure she could, just like she could walk around in a burqa (unless she lives in France, Belgium, or Italy I believe)- but she is not under any obligation to. If you feel that you would have issues being around her while dressed like that, then by all means don’t be around her when she’s dressed like that.
 
Steave said:
I think you should read further along, see definition of a “Swim suit” I don’t use the word bikini, it’s not really a word that used in adult conversation, once again, when I say swim suit the reference is “Sports illustrated Swimsuit edition swimsuit” Victoria’s secret “Swim suit”.

Would you see the mother of our savior in this type of swimming attire? As a male, I can say that the attire those women ages 18-25 have taken on these day’s is overtly sexual.

Society badgers men about what “pigs” they are, what about what women are, rather than your own opinion why not look of that what our lord had to say? If men are “pigs” what are the women that lead them to be that way? Sin must come into this world but woe to those who the occasion comes through.

Google Swimsuit without filter and look at the images, that is what society defines as a swimsuit.
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It’s so funny that you think all swimming wear from victoria’s secret is “revealing” or "immoral. Also, key word ‘male’, who are you to judge what is acceptable for a woman and what is not? I do agree that women themselves are part of the problem when it comes to the objectification of women but I also know that men want to control women. In my experience, most men are control freaks who simply do not care about the feelings of a woman.
 
Steave said:
I think you should read further along, see definition of a “Swim suit” I don’t use the word bikini, it’s not really a word that used in adult conversation, once again, when I say swim suit the reference is “Sports illustrated Swimsuit edition swimsuit” Victoria’s secret “Swim suit”.

.
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if you want us to respond to what you mean, state it in your OP we don’t read minds, we just go by what you say. you said swimsuit most us would not be caught dead in public with suits as revealing as those in SI, and have no intention of visiting that website and being caught in occasion of sin. Bikini is a perfectly acceptable word, it is an island in the Pacific. If any man, personally, has so little self-control that he cannot avoid be aroused to sinful thoughts at the sight of a woman in a normal, modest swimsuit he needs to stay off the beach
 
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