How do I overcome the idea that God doesn't care?

[SuperLuigi]

For the past two to three weeks I’ve had this really bad empty feeling that God doesn’t care about me. …It also doesn’t help that **I have anxiety and probably have an anxiety disorder **and am having a lot of stress at work. I’m to the point that I want God to show me mercy and just end my life at the tender age of 26. In all honesty it feel like God doesn’t care if I end…

You need to see a qualified therapist and look into this. I don’t think you can afford to just on this anymore. You’ve done the prayers, and now it’s time to be proactive. It’s possible that your prayer has lead you here to follow this advice, and I feel the Holy Spirit is at work here.

I would first start by asking a priest for a good counselor to see to diagnose any disorder you may have. Believe me, just know what is going on is half the battle.

 

[Methos]

I know this is going to sound cruel but love is not about feelings. I remember someone once told me a story where a man who was doubting God had a dream. In this dream he saw an angel and was so overjoyed. The man said “It must be awesome to feel God’s love all the time” to which the angel said “feel? I don’t have a body, i’m just spirit” So the Angels know God loves them other than through feelings. Love isn’t feelings but in a sense is a choice. For example, a lot of teenagers I work with feel their parents and teachers don’t love them because they don’t like being told what to do. They certainly don’t FEEL loved, but they are loved. Love is more of a choice. It isn’t a physical action.

So, He should design us that way, no emotions. If I hurt someone you love, you should respond not because you love that person or are angry, but because I did something wrong. No emotion, no action driven by it. Yet, for most people it’s not that way. We do have emotions. When we first experience love as children, it’s as an emotion. It made you feel safe and comfortable, calmed you down, etc. It give a sense of order. Unfortunately, many of us never experienced that emotion, or it was blunted or memories of it have long faded. Emotion shouldn’t be discounted too easily, especially by people capable of feeling love as an emotion. It’s like avoiding it when people cut to the “choice” explanation.

Let me put it this way, if I do something for you or anyone else, it’s either for my benefit down the line, in exchange for something in the future, or out of habit. The first two items has lead me to be loyal to some people as they’ve helped or done something for me in returned. Since I don’t know you, if I do something for you, it’s likely the third item, such as calling AAA to tow your car for you. I didn’t do it out of love or anything, it’s just something I thought I should do. For me, it’s in the same class as holding the door for someone. I can easily leave you and your car in the pouring rain without a second thought. So, the explanation of love as “willing the good of another.” hits a wall with me. Why? Maybe I don’t feel love as emotion as I can fell sadness, etc. Maybe I did when I was younger, but don’t remember or maybe I was and am incapable of doing so. It’s sort of like discussing calculus with me when I haven’t learned addition.The foundation to build on, experiencing love as an emotion, isn’t there.

 

[agapewolf]

There are so many incidents where people have dodged proverbial bullets - but the problem is they don’t know they dodged a proverbial bullet! So they think nothing happened.

I used a drunk driver as one of the threats out there. There are countless things we are protected from. What about the person who woke up to a flat tire on their car? Turns out that the tire could have popped on the highway at high speed with disastrous results, the previous day, but the tire somehow stayed intact until he got home. But the price paid is he’s late for work waiting for AAA.

God does protect us. But the overwhelming vast majority of the time, we don’t know he is doing this!

I get it. Nothing happened to you today. So you concluded nothing really happened.

But you have no idea what is going on in the battlefield out there. And you should be grateful.

The biggest miracles are hidden.

Still not working with the logic-- the flat tire DOES pop on the highway with disastrous results for some people. Where is God for them?

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

The human mind cannot comprehend God the Father. That’s why we have Jesus.

By our standards and ability to “observe” God’s work, God is arbitrary and capricious because it seems He is totally random. Either He does or doesn’t do something at any given time, that either is or isn’t good or bad, that hurts good or bad people.

He makes no sense. Our expectation that anything He does, makes sense to us, is what causes us to be depressed. if a human being ignores us or doesn’t keep us from being treated like ****, we say that person is not a good friend. God does it and it’s divine.

Stick to Jesus’s commands – how are you doing against the beatitudes and the fruit of the spirit – those are what actually matters.

How God the Father “behaves” or “feels” at any given time is unknowable to us and to assume otherwise is presumption, pride, and IMO a form of idolatry. Which is not dangerous as long as we keep in mind that our cognitive inventions about God are just that – ideas in our minds that may or may not bear any resemblance to fact.

 

[kentcara2003]

I can’t say that I know the answer you are looking for… but here is some food for thought. How do you know that you really know anyone? Often I hear people say they are surprised by what someone said or did and comment “you think you know someone”. I think as in any human relationship the deeper the relationship the more aware you become of that person

While I realize why this question is asked… this one really bothers me. When I express struggles I have been asked this… and I have been going to mass every Sunday and even the adoration chapel every week…these actions do not solve all problems. I have often wondered if they cause me more problems (i.e. the devil is after me more because he doesn’t want me to go)

Hi Sheep,

If we are trying to keep the 10 commandments and the commandments of the Church and do what is within our power to do to enter into a deeper relationship with God through Christ our Lord…we will enter a dry period that will test us.

I’m glad you are doing the very least of Sunday Mass and maybe a little time in adoration. “The fear of the Lord, is the first stage of wisdom, all do so prove themselves wise…” (Psalm)

I am very sympathetic with your predicament and feelings concerning God’s love for you.
Ive gone through it abt 25 years ago. I do not know whether the feelings im describing now is anything you are going thru…

“A crisis of faith that led me to learn more abt the Faith…and the frailty of human nature which baulks at my faithlessness vis a vis my understanding and grasp of the Faith.”
A real dent to my pride."

In the midst of these trials, I couldnt trust God. How can I when I falter miserable in spite of my prayers and Mass often and all forms of fastings and vigils…? (Incidentally, this was 25 years ago,…time lapse and recall a bit blur, so more of impressions of how it was then…). My salvation is so precarious…

Yet,…“To whom shall we go, you have the message of eternal life.” As Peter’s profession of faith in John Chapter 6…

Where can I go, as I am totally convinced of the Infallibility of the Church’s Teachings
…
2 devotions come to mind that has and is still helping me to this day…that of the Mercy of God and the 15 prayers of St Bridget.

I was inspired to wear around my neck the image of the Divine Mercy to honour The Infinite Mercy of God.
I did, and it was 2 weeks I noticed the absence of this fear of not attaining salvation. An extraordinary gift which I am most grateful.
The 15 prayers ofSt Bridget. One of the most compelling meditations of the Passion and Sufferings ofOur Lord.For 6-9 months I just said it without nay feelings and really JUST GOING THOUGH THEMOTIONS OF PRAYING IT…

After 1 year, I couldnt put it down. I have come to realise thelove God has for each and everyone of us in spite of the fact we may not feel it or experience it…The very recalling of His sufferings renews in my soul MY PROFOUND GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION OF HIS LOVE FOR ME AND FOR ALL.

So I would like to encourage you the pick upthe 15 prayers of St Bridget. andI wouldliketosend you the image oftheDivine Mercy. If God can grant me a great increase in trust and confidence in Him , He can grant you and all who desire it. If you like, just send me your address to my in-box and I will send it to you all the way from South East Asia!!!

Do increase your devotion to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass by going more often than just once a week…say the Chaplet of Mercy more often and the Rosary…

All prayers are pleasing to God but not all prayers are equally pleasing to Him…the ones that helps us enter more fully into The Mystery of redemption are the best…

Also, eucharistic adoration is learning to appreciate the mystery of Infinite Love
which stays with us in all his hidden glory in the eucharist. It is an awesome and mind boggling mystery…such humility…such abandonment for love of you personally…
God bless

Kenneth (SSCC 3rd Order)

 

[BobCatholic]

Still not working with the logic-- the flat tire DOES pop on the highway with disastrous results for some people. Where is God for them?

I mentioned that sometimes the devil wins a skirmish in the battle, didn’t I?

But remember he loses the war.

Perhaps that answer is not good enough for you. I’m just grateful none of that happened to me.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

Have you personally excluded that possibility or you do adamantly believe that you are truly beyond redemption or neglected by God?

Depends what you mean by redemption. Please elaborate.

It also makes me wonder why you just don’t become an atheist. If I were truly secular (having no attachment to religion), I would recommend you to abandon a belief in the God and the afterlife since it would personally benefit you on this earth (as it seems religious doctrine is a source of immense psychological disquietude even though most people do benefit from religion).

I would not consider myself an atheist, nor would I even consider “converting” to atheism. As I have mentioned before, I believe in God in the sense that I believe He exists. But I believe he does not care about me and it is predestined that I am going to hell when I die.

Even though such advice may grant you some succor in this life, it is ultimately asking you to embrace despair by denying heaven and His grace, despite also defenestrating the dyspepsia of eternal damnation too.

I have no idea what you are trying to say here.

In other words, is your despair a psychological or sociological phenomenon?

Maybe a little of both, but it is primarily based on observation and my experiences in life. I have had too many misfortunes to blame it all coincidence or bad luck. There has to divine intervention at work here to make me this unhappy.

Perhaps something that would be therapeutic to you that is not a suggestion to embrace atheism is to accept that “**** happens” and God does not orchestrate it. It requires you to take a less teleological view on life (as many Christians do ascribe the personal events of their lives to God’s will) and attribute most things, both tragedy and triumph, to chance and necessity. See the universe and society as more indifferent and not God’s plan to punish you, although this would do little to assuage your pessimism. Your failures, psychological frailty, and adversities do not have any relation to your spiritual merit. **** does not equal damnation!

God has been ****ing on me my entire life. I still attend mass but mostly because I harbor this (most likely in vain) hope that maybe if I kiss His arse enough God may cut me some slack.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

I have a hard time with this logic-- what about when someone IS hit by a drunk driver. Why didn’t God make arrangements for that person?

Ditto.

Suppose I had cancer and then had a “miraculous” recovery. You might be inclined to say that God heard my prayers and saved my life. My response would be “If God loved me, why did I get get cancer in the first place?”

 

[Latias]

Depends what you mean by redemption. Please

“Redemption” simply means that you will eventually be “saved” from eternal damnation.

Even though such advice may grant you some succor in this life, it is ultimately asking you to embrace despair by denying heaven and His grace, despite also defenestrating the dyspepsia of eternal damnation too.

I have no idea what you are trying to say here.

I meant to say that such advice (becoming an atheist) may assuage some of your existential anxiety of having to face damnation, but it is also a form of despair since you also abandoned hope for the beatific vision. As a Catholic, even a lukewarm one, I cannot recommend this, but I was just outlining what I would consider the expected benefits for you.

Maybe a little of both, but it is primarily based on observation and my experiences in life. I have had too many misfortunes to blame it all coincidence or bad luck. There has to divine intervention at work here to make me this unhappy.

Do you even have a rigorous null hypothesis so you can reject the hypothesis of coincidence? Would you consider yourself more unfortunate than a multiple sclerosis patient (a progressive neurological disease causing pain and paralysis)? There is a frequency in which people get multiple sclerosis that can be ascertained through epidemiological studies (let’s say it is 1 in 1000). Although the exact cause of MS is unknown, it is best understood as the consequence of genetic predisposition and environmental exposure (some scientists believe that exposure to certain viruses increases one’s risk). Exposure to the viruses do not necessarily result in MS, as most people infected with the virus are free from that malady, but in vulnerable people, it can trigger a pernicious autoimmune reaction that attacks the mylein sheaths. In my mind, people get MS, not because of divine providence, but because of the confluence of genetic and environmental factors. Genetics (such as the transmission of the genetic material through haploid gametes and whatever sperm fuses with the egg) is random. It is a coincidence that a MS patient inherited a particular genotype with excessive risk loci and have been exposed to a certain virus. Such misfortune is a coincidence, and not the consequence of a malevolent God. There is no reason to impute a deity.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

“Redemption” simply means that you will eventually be “saved” from eternal damnation.

I do not believe that I will be saved.

Such misfortune is a coincidence, and not the consequence of a malevolent God.

The problem is, I do believe it is the consequence of a malevolent God. And I have no reason to believe otherwise.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Maybe it isn’t about overcoming the idea that God doesn’t care about me.

Maybe He doesn’t actually “care” about me. How would I know?

I’m made in God’s image. How is the image to dictate or comprehend the Reality?

But I do really like this life and the world He’s given me to use, and His Son and Spirit to guide me, so it’s ok. If He doesn’t care about me, He has a funny way of showing it.

 

[agapewolf]

I mentioned that sometimes the devil wins a skirmish in the battle, didn’t I?

But remember he loses the war.

Perhaps that answer is not good enough for you. I’m just grateful none of that happened to me.

This logic doesn’t work either. To say that God “lost” a battle to the devil is nonsense. He could win if he wanted.

You are trying to use logic to explain something and it doesn’t work.

 

[anytimequilter]

Do increase your devotion to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass by going more often than just once a week…

This isn’t an option for everyone. If you have this option appreciate that. In all honesty I would try to go during the week, but I am not able to. I have to be at work at 6 am and the local churches don’t have mass until 7 am another one has mass at 8 am.

My only option would be to go to Saturday evening mass and Sunday morning mass… which I admit I don’t do both…

 

[BobCatholic]

This logic doesn’t work either. To say that God “lost” a battle to the devil is nonsense. He could win if he wanted.

You are trying to use logic to explain something and it doesn’t work.

If God never lost a battle, nobody would go to hell.

God does not overrule free will. The devil fights on that battlefield and can win by getting people to do evil, or making evil happening.

But remember this: God wins the war.

 

[agapewolf]

If God never lost a battle, nobody would go to hell.

God does not overrule free will. The devil fights on that battlefield and can win by getting people to do evil, or making evil happening.

But remember this: God wins the war.

Now you are mixing logic.

You said God makes a tire flat to save someone from a disastrous problem on the highway.

But sometimes the devil wins a battle when I asked where is God for the person when he doesn’t do that?

There was no free will involved in this.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

:bighanky:

 

[Bataar]

I know the feeling and am in the same boat as the OP. I don’t pray as much as I used to because I kind of came to the “what’s the point?” mindset. From my perspective, for me to pray for an intention seems to be a sure way for it not to happen. I still hope I end up in heaven, moreso because I don’t want to go to hell, but it’s hard to keep that hope alive. In this life, I pretty much have no real hope, ambition, passion or anything. I’m not suicidal or anything, but every day just seems pointless.

Other people will talk to me about this and tell me I need to work on my relationship with God and that a relationship takes two and yada yada yada and completely agree with them, except that I feel like I’m the one putting in the work to maintain the relationship. I used to have a friend several years ago. We were really good friends, or so I thought. After a while, he started hanging out with a different group of people and was harder to get a hold of. Eventually, it got to the point where he never answered his phone when I called or called back when I left a voicemail. After a while of that, I just stopped calling. That’s how it feels with God. Saying prayers is like leaving a message on a voice mail to never get a response back.

 

[CaptFun]

When I have gotten this temptation … I have often then found my eyes drawn to a crucifix.

This pretty much puts my pity party to rout.

By way of non-sequitur maybe the image of this illustrated oxymoron will help"

http://merovee.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/the-passion-of-the-christ.jpg

***“I don’t (really) care about you!” ***

 

[kentcara2003]

This isn’t an option for everyone. If you have this option appreciate that. In all honesty I would try to go during the week, but I am not able to. I have to be at work at 6 am and the local churches don’t have mass until 7 am another one has mass at 8 am.

My only option would be to go to Saturday evening mass and Sunday morning mass… which I admit I don’t do both…

Going for the weekend Mass is not an optional extra. You realise this, dont you?
Daily Mass is optional…

Ask your Saviour to help you. He is there to help us in our need and our weakness…

See the weekly Mass as the foundational stone on which to build your spiritual life, without which you will wander in the desert for 40 years, as the Psalmist tells us “for 40 years I was wearied of these people. And I said, their hearts are astray.These people do not know my ways. Then I took an oath in my anger, never shall they enter my rest.”

Ask Jesus our Lord, and He will gently and surely lead you to do the necessary and more. Our Blessed Mother and the saints will come to your aid, if you call on them.

God bless.

 

[kentcara2003]

When I have gotten this temptation … I have often then found my eyes drawn to a crucifix.

This pretty much puts my pity party to rout.

By way of non-sequitur maybe the image of this illustrated oxymoron will help"

http://merovee.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/the-passion-of-the-christ.jpg

***“I don’t (really) care about you!” ***

I fully agreed. Short and sweet.
God in Christ Jesus our Lord has proven His love for us.
Meditate on the Passion.
You cannot understand and grow to appreciate what Jesus has done without meditating on the Passion.
This is the example of the countless saints who have gone before us…let us imitate them…

God bless.