How do i stop resenting my sister

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Jesus also said
“He who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted”

George you might want to meditate on this one.
 
Tell me, George, would you feel avenged if Tar Ashley was on a platford for a couple hours a day and had to wear a scarlet “a”? Would that satisfy your need for"justice". Or would you feel better if she were called a “cafeteria Catholic” and showed the door and forbidden to come back?
I am sorry George whether or not you have a valid point is beyond reason now. You sound like the type of Christian which drives people AWAY.
 

think things between me and my sister are on the right track now. i have been praying and even dedicated a rosary to her the other day, since then we seem to be communicating better.​

Good. 👍
 
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TarAshly:
George i dont let people like you bother me i have peace and love in my heart. a heart that God made for me and people like you dont effect that your wasting your breath…
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Ashley - you still don’t get it.

**Stop living together, stop telling others about it, and stop defending the practice. **

Your attack on me is a mere strawman to deflect attention away from your arguments.

You are shameless. Your scandal is abundant - in at least three threads I have come across.

How dare you even open your mouth on this subject when you are disobeying the Church so brazenly??

Reply to the argument TarAshely.

Tell us why your cohabitation is justified.

Tell us why you called others “closeminded” and “judgemental”.

Tell us, must Catholics never disapprove or admonish other Catholics?

Tell us why you went out of your way to tell that woman - on a thread the moderator closed - that cohabitation was not that big a deal?

Why don’t you get off your high horse, stop judging me, stop judging your sister, stop judging your “closeminded”, disapproving parishioners, stop ignoring the Church and tell us why they are all wrong and you are right.

No wonder you once self-described as a princess.

That is not mean Tar. That is blunt and honest. Everything I recounted you did.

Any person here can see that you are attacking the Church.

We have every right to reprove, correct, admonish or even scold your hurtful behavior.

There is one Church Ashley. If you want to enter a public forum and tell us why you think it is wrong, stick to the subject, not weak ad hominems.

Let’s here more of your opinion about cohabitation Tar. Save your prayers for your marriage which you are putting off to a rocky start.
 
No Lily,

I would like to drive away her argument and publicly defeat it.

Your rhetoric is hystrionics at best. I have not done anything to drive her away, if anything I have asked her repeatedly to clarify her positions.

She always replies with insults or condescencion. It is she who makes it personal.

This shows her immaturity, her inability to separate the argument from the argument.

She has even gone to threads started by others on the subject of cohabitation and sought to downplay the gravity of it.

I don’t judge her now, nor will I ever but it is my sacred duty and yours to defeat her dissent. We are born to lead if we can. Those who know this is wrong have done the right thing in correcting her.

Those who don’t appreciate the gravity of her scandal had better educate themselves as to what the church teaches about scandal and cohabitation.

It is just bizarre that this little girl, barely out of her teens is so poorly catechized that she has adopted all the language and mindset of the secular culture we find ourselves in.

Essentially she is parroting all of Hollywood’s values and none of ours.
 
George2…

I am a TarAshley “handholder” but I also agree with your arguments. What I don’t agree with is your approach.

TarAshley knows where I stand but also is willing to listen to me…I wonder why that is? I have never once told her that living together is “no big deal” and have suggested postponing her wedding.

I am not her. I cannot make those decisions, only she can. But what I can do is be polite and charitable so that she may actually ponder my words instead of being forced into defence mode.

I must have missed the post where she told someone else that living together is no big deal. If she did, she knows that is wrong.

What you can’t seem to understand is that you are being as hardheaded as she is. Are you a saint? How would you like your face rubbed in all of your sins? I’m pretty sure even Jesus himself would not come off as self-righteous as you do.

TarAshley is a new convert to this faith and it is not entirely her fault that she may be a little misguided on some issues. Our job is to get her on track. We can’t do that without first getting her undivided attention. You will never get that with your approach.

Am I saying your approach is evil and wrong? No. But it is not for everyone. I think your pride is getting in the way of your message. You need to be able to adjust the “tone” of your posts so that you get through to the individual…it is not a “one size fits all” situation.

Malia
 
once, at a conference, the gospel was the story of the Prodigal Son, and we had to discuss it in small groups. The amount of bitterness expressed by the “older sibling” (the perfect, stay-at-home, support the parent one) against the “younger sibling” (the party animal, take the money and run, come crawling home to daddy one) was absolutely staggering. The moderator used this anger to lead us to a point where were able to look honestly at our relationships within our families.

this could be a very valuable scripture for you to meditate with regularly, and to pray with
 
**Wow! I can relate to EVERYTHING on this topic and then some! I come from a big family, four sisters, two brothers. George, you sound just like my older brother. He is by the book, but we haven’t decided which book he is quoting from!😉

The answer to this is prayer. Stop resenting your sister and worry about yourself. If you take care of what you should be doing, it will be an example. By throwing stones, the old saying, what goes around, comes around. You are setting yourself up for disaster. I talk from experience. Too much experience. I also get caught up in stuff sometimes, but then I realized I am on a journey. God first, husband second, children third and all the rest after that. If I stick to this, I get through things. You need to take the focus off of your sister and straighten out your own life. By going into your marriage with premarital relations, your marriage will suffer. It is setting yourself up for failure. I know this. I am a sinner and have had to redo my whole life for God. The chances of your marriage making it, is 5% (statistics). You think marriage is the answer, you have no clue. What was a problem before hand will magnify. Remember the devil is letting you say “But I loooovvveee him, this can’t be wrong.” That is a lie. Pray for yourself and pray for your sister, and do the right thing.

In Christ,
Helen
 
Well, George, I will hold Tar Ashely’s hand. George, I do hate to let you know, those rocks you are throwing, they bounce back.
There are ways to let someone know they are doing something wrong and then there are wrong ways.
 
You’re just going to have to let it go. As someone else said, what profit is there in throwing it up in her face? It sounds like she’s a good mother and trying to get her life on track so you’re going to HAVE to let it be water under the bridge. If not, you’re contributing to the unhappiness that’s been going on.

Sometimes we have to be Christian even when it isn’t easy. If it were easy, everyone would be Christian. What you do when you don’t want to shows your Christian commitment and what kind of character you have.
 
Personally, I think George should be banned. He was suspended not that long ago and the 1st day he’s back he starts the same nasty attacks that got him suspended in the 1st place.(And now got himself suspended again.) He has been merciless to Tar and he’s said some pretty nasty things to other people too. This is what he called Apologia on another thread:Apologia is a “house-nigger” Catholic - that is those of us who work in the field resent her mocking something the Church is advocating- the right of Catholic health care workers to conscientiously object from certain practices and therapies.

My gut feeling is there is someone in his family who living with their boyfriend/girlfriend outside of marriage and he is taking out all his anger and frustration on this poor girl, who just recently came into the church.

He refuses to hear anyone else who tries to point out how absolutely out of line he his. I don’t think he’s going to change. If a non-catholic spoke this way to someone on this forum they would have already been banned.
 
George may be the type of a Christian who believes it’s his duty to be judge and jurror. George to use the word “house niger” is dispicable. You are under my ignore button. Bye-bye.
 
There seems to be some anger in this talk. Is it safe to say, don’t throw stones, don’t let George get to you. He is searching for something and thinks he has the answers. I am telling you, he is standing on one foot!:rolleyes: He has a very big ego and thinks he has all the answers. Ask yourselves this, is this the way Jesus would talk? NO!🙂 He would point out that there are some problems that need straightened out, then he would forgive and guide. This way that George is spewing anger, he isn’t where he wants to be and by being forceful, he will force your respect?:confused: Be merciful! Be merciful!

Blessings,
Helen
 
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George2:
No Lily,

I would like to drive away her argument and publicly defeat it.

Your rhetoric is hystrionics at best. I have not done anything to drive her away, if anything I have asked her repeatedly to clarify her positions.

She always replies with insults or condescencion. It is she who makes it personal.

This shows her immaturity, her inability to separate the argument from the argument.

She has even gone to threads started by others on the subject of cohabitation and sought to downplay the gravity of it.

I don’t judge her now, nor will I ever but it is my sacred duty and yours to defeat her dissent. We are born to lead if we can. Those who know this is wrong have done the right thing in correcting her.

Those who don’t appreciate the gravity of her scandal had better educate themselves as to what the church teaches about scandal and cohabitation.

It is just bizarre that this little girl, barely out of her teens is so poorly catechized that she has adopted all the language and mindset of the secular culture we find ourselves in.

Essentially she is parroting all of Hollywood’s values and none of ours.
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Now George, it does not sound like you are out to win over any new converts to the faith by your choice and conveyed tone of words. I believe that you enjoy, derive a benefit by being offensive and caustic in your comments. You display a conquer and destroy destroy attitude from the above comments. You repeatidly contradict your self assertions as a well meaning apologist by the tone and jest of your comments. Everything that you accuse and blame the other of appears as a mirror to your own discord. Your comments are presumptuous, flavored with grandiosity and a sense of entitlement (see above **bold **emphasis).

This is not effective apologetics to win over the mind and hearts of the other to the Truth of the Church’s teaching. I believe that you know this, or if you really are not aware of this, then a pathology in need of professional help is in order, lest you continue to work against the Gospel that you perport to defend. Remember, St. Paul became ‘all things to all men’ in exercising his sacred duty so as to win others over to Christ, and thoughtfully had his audience needs and the goal of winning over converts in mind.
 
felra, yes . Somehow George makes me feel relieved. I am Protestant and we have those like George. I am glad we don’t have the monopoly on stone throwers.
 
Skimming through these posts makes me glad I only have brothers. When they were younger they just beat eachother up and moved on. —KCT
 
This totally cracked me up!!! I always said, to bad we aren’t guys, we would just punch eachother and then forget about it!!!

Thanks for that!
Helen

KCTSkimming through these posts makes me glad I only have brothers. When they were younger they just beat eachother up and moved on. —KCT
 
TarAshley,

I sympathize with your situation and your sisters. Your sister’s because I am a former drug addict who had my share of abusive boyfriends, then lived in a nowhere land between cleaning up but carrying around a ton of guilt that I pretended (by a negative attitude) didn’t exist in the first place. Your’s because now that I have been by the Grace of God “crossed over” I can now witness my brother doing the same thing to my family I did many many years ago.
My frustration with him is only tempered by the compassion of my memory of the inner suffering and turmoil at that point in my life.
You have been given some very good advice, so I am not going to be repetitive. One point I did want to address though was your sister continuosly bringing up how you lied to her to bring her back to the family.
She has a right to be upset … you tricked her. No one likes to be tricked. Even though you had good intentions, it doesn’t change the fact that you lied. You built her up to trust you, then yanked it from her. She keeps bringing it up, because she has a valid point. I am not saying that she hasn’t done more or more serious wrongs. But on this one issue, you did her wrong and you should set an example to her by acknowledging your wrong and asking her forgiveness. It could possibly open a door to your relationship that can bring it to new levels.
But first you have to admit to yourself that it was wrong. You do see it was wrong don’t you?

God bless!
 
TarAshely, there you go again.

The Eagles have a song that covers this situation: Get Over It.
 
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