T
TheFraggle
Guest
There would be more if people weren’t on contraception.
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phil19034
Guest
For the young people without children, look into creating a Catholic Underground group and/or “Theology on Tap” program
Also, it’s good to have a Young Adult group where they focus on events for 21-35 year olds
Also, it’s good to have a Young Adult group where they focus on events for 21-35 year olds
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phil19034
Guest
People are not getting married in the Church because there are more mixed marriages and so many young girls dream of a beach or outdoor wedding now a days.
And some (often the mixed marriages - happened with my brother) chose the non-Catholic ceremony so they can skip pre-Cana.
The key is to start teaching marriage pre-prep in middle school, after Confirmation.
J
jazzy0710
Guest
The ones I have seen coming in to have their babies baptized usually vanish afterward yes. The ones I’ve seen do their first communion are still around. There are families with children who do attend regularly, there are some that come once in a while and there are some that completely vanished.
J
jazzy0710
Guest
You know i’m not so sure. I’ve heard our Priest say that young families are the future because many of our older parishioners are dying off. I haven’t really heard much from other people in the group as to what their feelings are. A good point to bring up in the next meeting. Thank youDoes the parish leadership want the families because they want to revitalize and offer support to the young families? Or do they think that young people will provide the money for all those repairs? Because I can tell you, young families don’t have a lot to spare, and if they think that young couples will beef up the collection they are going to be sorely disappointed. In many parishes, it’s the older generation, those who feel strongly about giving to the support of the church and supporting the liturgy, who tithe bigtime. And now that they are moving to fixed incomes , sometime they must cut back. Which is why I suggest offering more programs that they could really use. They won’t be charmed by being thought of as some sort of wallet to tap. Not saying you are doing this, but it is something to keep in mind. Appearances are everything.
Every time we roll out yet another “Stewardship Campaign” either locally, or from the Archbishop people sigh, and mutter under their breath about us just wanting more $$$$.
Of course people believe that the church is rich and that they shouldn’t ever ask for money. Everyone’s a volunteer, right?
J
jazzy0710
Guest
All of the above but more so to get people more active.
J
jazzy0710
Guest
Those are excellent baseline questions thank you so much
J
jazzy0710
Guest
very interesting feedback. thank you.
J
jazzy0710
Guest
It depends on the mass really.
My Parish has a few different masses. From Monday-Thursday there is a mass at 12 noon. On Saturday there is a mass at 5pm. On Sunday we used to have an 8:45am mass, an 11:15 am mass and a 7pm mass. Recently they dropped the 8:45 and 11:15 masses and we now only have a 9:30 mass on Sunday mornings. Myself, I attend the 9:30 one. There are many friendly people who attend that mass but yes there are a few that are quick to rush out to the cars afterward.
J
jazzy0710
Guest
Our Parish has performed many mixed marriages over the last 3 years.
If either the Bride or Groom is Catholic and the other isn’t then we just do a basic ceremony with a Liturgy. If they are both Catholic then we have a mass.
I don’t know about marriage prep after confirmation but it may be worth a shot. I’ll bring it up. Thanks!
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pianistclare
Guest
I suggest that the parish invest in the book “Intentional Disciples” that I think was mentioned upthread. It would really open their eyes. LOTS of good stats. Much to think about and factor in on the topic when you have discussions about how to BUILD a parish.You know i’m not so sure. I’ve heard our Priest say that young families are the future because many of our older parishioners are dying off. I haven’t really heard much from other people in the group as to what their feelings are. A good point to bring up in the next meeting. Thank you
PM me and I’ll tell you more about it.
Clare
E
EasterJoy
Guest
That’s too bad. In the Archdiocese of Portland, once you have done the initial training in person it is possible to go online to do annual updates. The past “lessons” are also available for review. When you’ve finished the modules you’re supposed to have done, your update is something the Archdiocese or any Catholic parish or organization can get online and verify. The Archdiocese does legal background checks every three years, and parishes and schools can also get that information from them easily. I hope that something like this is the “new” program that you’ll have from now on.I agree that people find it overwhelming. Not so much because they resent having to do it, but in our Archdiocese, because the programs change often, they lose the info, they are asked to do it over and over and over again.
My High School Catechists literally have gone through the screening every year for the last 5 years for teaching and for driving, and we’ve just been told that they are starting up a “new” program in January.
I think all of my volunteers will quit.
They’re just sick of it. And they are afraid of someone getting their personal info. You know, since the Diocese “loses” it so often.
I don’t blame them.
C
clem456
Guest
Forming Intentional Disciples is a breath of fresh air. It is an honest book.
What we need is more Jesus Christ in the lives of Catholics. (There I said his name Thank you Sherry Wedell).
What we need is more Jesus Christ in the lives of Catholics. (There I said his name Thank you Sherry Wedell).
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pianistclare
Guest
Me too. It’s a nightmare at present.
P
phil19034
Guest
FORMED.org may help with some of this.
Once the new “Reborn” series on Baptism launches on it, parishes can have pre-Jordan parents watch it at home (with the Symbolon episode on Baptism). Then, hopefully, the parents will like the program so much, that they continue watching the other programs on it and become better formed in the Faith.
God Bless
B
Book_Worm
Guest
The OP isn’t going to be able to anything about young people who do not marry or contracept. S/he has to work with the demographics in her own parish as they are now. l
I used to listen to my Protestant friends talk about the sense of community they had within their “church family” with a sense of longing. They had so many opportunities to form bonds, seek or provide help, interact with others. When this community spirit is mentioned on CAF or in other Catholic, real-life settings, it’s often met with the retort that we have the one true Church and the Eucharist; we don’t need the other things.
I have seldom felt really welcomed in a Catholic Church, even though I’ve been Catholic all my life. We tried attending Mass at the church which has the school DGS attends. The ushers were the two sourest old ladies (probably younger than I) I’ve ever seen. “Good morning/evening” was never returned, but merited a scowl. I’ve joined committees or the few service groups my own parish has and never felt my presence, let alone my help, was wanted. The Old Guard had it all covered. My attempts at light conversation or offers to help were never acknowledged. I’m not some odd, socially inept person; I have joined many secular organizations–book clubs, volunteer organizations, social clubs, neighborhood groups–and never encountered this, I make friends easily and have many of all ages. Some of them have also mentioned the lack of community in their own churches, so I really don’t think this is a problem specific to me.
My suggestions would be to follow the advice about having a crying room or nursery for families with young children. I’d also do some training of the ushers to make sure they offer a warm welcome, especially to families with young children. It’s amazing how a friendly smile and kind word as you enter the church can make you feel the warmth of Christ’s love as you join in His sacrifice. A mother’s group is also a great idea. It could be a bible study with baby-sitting and/or a play group. In DD’s group, whenever a family has a baby, each woman volunteers a meal to give the family a little break.
Service is so important. One of my friends told me her DD and her DH started attending a Protestant church because they felt it offered so many more opportunities for them to be of service to others.
An after-Mass coffee and juice social hour offers opportunities to get to know your fellow parishioners and point out programs the Church offers.
I know that these suggestions are very secular and don’t address the real issue of religious indifference. But you can’t spread the gospel to people who aren’t within hearing distance of you.
I used to listen to my Protestant friends talk about the sense of community they had within their “church family” with a sense of longing. They had so many opportunities to form bonds, seek or provide help, interact with others. When this community spirit is mentioned on CAF or in other Catholic, real-life settings, it’s often met with the retort that we have the one true Church and the Eucharist; we don’t need the other things.
I have seldom felt really welcomed in a Catholic Church, even though I’ve been Catholic all my life. We tried attending Mass at the church which has the school DGS attends. The ushers were the two sourest old ladies (probably younger than I) I’ve ever seen. “Good morning/evening” was never returned, but merited a scowl. I’ve joined committees or the few service groups my own parish has and never felt my presence, let alone my help, was wanted. The Old Guard had it all covered. My attempts at light conversation or offers to help were never acknowledged. I’m not some odd, socially inept person; I have joined many secular organizations–book clubs, volunteer organizations, social clubs, neighborhood groups–and never encountered this, I make friends easily and have many of all ages. Some of them have also mentioned the lack of community in their own churches, so I really don’t think this is a problem specific to me.
My suggestions would be to follow the advice about having a crying room or nursery for families with young children. I’d also do some training of the ushers to make sure they offer a warm welcome, especially to families with young children. It’s amazing how a friendly smile and kind word as you enter the church can make you feel the warmth of Christ’s love as you join in His sacrifice. A mother’s group is also a great idea. It could be a bible study with baby-sitting and/or a play group. In DD’s group, whenever a family has a baby, each woman volunteers a meal to give the family a little break.
Service is so important. One of my friends told me her DD and her DH started attending a Protestant church because they felt it offered so many more opportunities for them to be of service to others.
An after-Mass coffee and juice social hour offers opportunities to get to know your fellow parishioners and point out programs the Church offers.
I know that these suggestions are very secular and don’t address the real issue of religious indifference. But you can’t spread the gospel to people who aren’t within hearing distance of you.
X
Xantippe
Guest
Yes.
U
UbiCaritas
Guest
Here’s my perspective.
For background, I attend a HUGE parish of over 3,000 families. Two priests, 5-6 deacons. It’s a fairly diverse community, with a huge percentage of Hispanic families, a somewhat smaller but quite significant percentage of Vietnamese families, some (fewer) Pilipino families, and some north African/Middle Eastern families, mostly of recent immigration.
One of the priests and two of the deacons speak Spanish; none of them speak any of the other non-English languages which would be helpful in this position. No criticism of them, mind you; they’re good and terribly overworked priests.
The church’s accommodation for families during Mass is
a) a nursery, which is supposed to be funded by donations by families–a $3-$5 donation per Mass is suggested–but which apparently most families who use it don’t contribute to, leaving it both perpetually in the red and lacking in the “paid volunteers” who are supposed to staff it;
and b) the narthex, which has two small (can seat perhaps 3 people, 4 if they know each other very well indeed), backless wooden benches and an atrocious sound system. The sound system cuts in and out every 30-90 seconds. Sometimes it’s so bad that even if the babies are quiet, we can’t understand what the readings or sermon are about because we’re missing a lot of it. There is one small area in the non-traditionally-structured (ie, no real back area) where one could walk a less-fussy baby, but the sound system’s directions and general awfulness mean that while you can see the Mass from there, you can’t really hear it.
That’s it.
Insofar as sacrament prep, we’ve only had experience with baptism thus far. The archdiocese requires baptism classes be taken by the parents every five years. Fine. As it happens, I teach those classes.
A former pastor instituted a rule wherein babies aren’t baptized during Advent or Lent, and current scheduling has baptisms once per month other than that. As a result, we would have had to wait almost 3 months there to baptize DD, who was born two days before Lent started. Never mind that canon law says that babies should be baptized within a few weeks… sigh We ended up having her baptized at another local parish in order to get her baptized rather sooner. Getting permission for that required slightly more hoop-jumping than a personal audience with the president, and I was at one point informed by the priest’s secretary that canon law “doesn’t apply anymore.”
Recently, with the permission of the pastor and religious ed director, I started a mom’s group there. I have hit barrier after barrier after barrier of no one being willing to simply give me information or help me. The secretary who is supposed to publish meetings in the bulletin’s calendar simply won’t add this one, no explanation given, no matter how many times she’s asked to.
One member asked about NFP classes. I have seen them offered at this church from time to time, but knew nothing else about them, so I asked around. Apparently no one knows anything about this, nor can they direct anyone to a local instructor in any method. I did my best to give her a quick overview of the four main methods, and gave her what contact info I could scrounge up for the national headquarters for each method, hoping they could help her find an instructor.
Try to schedule events? No one ever gets back to me about it. Want to schedule childcare? No one, including the childcare director, can tell me how much they charge, whether a volunteer would be available at our usual time, etc. Several of us offered to donate money to fund it since we were told it wouldn’t be in the budget, but said director never got back to us on how much money it would take, or, should those of us who have been through the proper training be willing to take turns, what guidelines (caregiver-kid ratios) there are, or what sort of oversight we should have for those financial matters. Oh, and the confirmation kids can’t help out unless they go through training, too (never held at our church, always held at least a half an hour drive away…), and they have to be supervised by an adult.
I haven’t been doing this that long, and I’m already rapidly approaching Fed Up. My impression is that most of the people there aren’t interested in actually working or helping people, and that those few who are are overwhelmed with things they need to do. I’m at the point where I’m going to follow up once more with a few of these people, and then I’m going to write a gentle-polite-but-clear letter to the pastor, describing the sorts of problems I’m running into. And this church wonders why they have a hard time getting volunteers, and why they’re having a hard time engaging young families and keeping them coming back!
For background, I attend a HUGE parish of over 3,000 families. Two priests, 5-6 deacons. It’s a fairly diverse community, with a huge percentage of Hispanic families, a somewhat smaller but quite significant percentage of Vietnamese families, some (fewer) Pilipino families, and some north African/Middle Eastern families, mostly of recent immigration.
One of the priests and two of the deacons speak Spanish; none of them speak any of the other non-English languages which would be helpful in this position. No criticism of them, mind you; they’re good and terribly overworked priests.
The church’s accommodation for families during Mass is
a) a nursery, which is supposed to be funded by donations by families–a $3-$5 donation per Mass is suggested–but which apparently most families who use it don’t contribute to, leaving it both perpetually in the red and lacking in the “paid volunteers” who are supposed to staff it;
and b) the narthex, which has two small (can seat perhaps 3 people, 4 if they know each other very well indeed), backless wooden benches and an atrocious sound system. The sound system cuts in and out every 30-90 seconds. Sometimes it’s so bad that even if the babies are quiet, we can’t understand what the readings or sermon are about because we’re missing a lot of it. There is one small area in the non-traditionally-structured (ie, no real back area) where one could walk a less-fussy baby, but the sound system’s directions and general awfulness mean that while you can see the Mass from there, you can’t really hear it.
That’s it.
Insofar as sacrament prep, we’ve only had experience with baptism thus far. The archdiocese requires baptism classes be taken by the parents every five years. Fine. As it happens, I teach those classes.
A former pastor instituted a rule wherein babies aren’t baptized during Advent or Lent, and current scheduling has baptisms once per month other than that. As a result, we would have had to wait almost 3 months there to baptize DD, who was born two days before Lent started. Never mind that canon law says that babies should be baptized within a few weeks… sigh We ended up having her baptized at another local parish in order to get her baptized rather sooner. Getting permission for that required slightly more hoop-jumping than a personal audience with the president, and I was at one point informed by the priest’s secretary that canon law “doesn’t apply anymore.”
Recently, with the permission of the pastor and religious ed director, I started a mom’s group there. I have hit barrier after barrier after barrier of no one being willing to simply give me information or help me. The secretary who is supposed to publish meetings in the bulletin’s calendar simply won’t add this one, no explanation given, no matter how many times she’s asked to.
One member asked about NFP classes. I have seen them offered at this church from time to time, but knew nothing else about them, so I asked around. Apparently no one knows anything about this, nor can they direct anyone to a local instructor in any method. I did my best to give her a quick overview of the four main methods, and gave her what contact info I could scrounge up for the national headquarters for each method, hoping they could help her find an instructor.
Try to schedule events? No one ever gets back to me about it. Want to schedule childcare? No one, including the childcare director, can tell me how much they charge, whether a volunteer would be available at our usual time, etc. Several of us offered to donate money to fund it since we were told it wouldn’t be in the budget, but said director never got back to us on how much money it would take, or, should those of us who have been through the proper training be willing to take turns, what guidelines (caregiver-kid ratios) there are, or what sort of oversight we should have for those financial matters. Oh, and the confirmation kids can’t help out unless they go through training, too (never held at our church, always held at least a half an hour drive away…), and they have to be supervised by an adult.
I haven’t been doing this that long, and I’m already rapidly approaching Fed Up. My impression is that most of the people there aren’t interested in actually working or helping people, and that those few who are are overwhelmed with things they need to do. I’m at the point where I’m going to follow up once more with a few of these people, and then I’m going to write a gentle-polite-but-clear letter to the pastor, describing the sorts of problems I’m running into. And this church wonders why they have a hard time getting volunteers, and why they’re having a hard time engaging young families and keeping them coming back!
N
Naskor
Guest
The best way for the Church to get more young families in the Church is to focus on creating families. Start when they are single. Single adults are the majority in America and yet the Church still treats them source of ministry instead of group that needs it.
C
Casilda
Guest
I think that is more prevalent than you think. I, unfortunately came across parish after parish full of unhelpful people. I gave up. It is only because my husband converted via an Eastern Catholic parish that I am back in full communion.
I would write that letter to your Bishop. We all should write our bishops. There is a pernicious evil entrenched in parishes, the Old Guard, they keep at their posts, the doorkeepers, keeping people out by discouraging them. I think all volunteer positions should be rotated, no one stays at a post for more than three years and new people are trained every year bringing new blood (preferable Christ-like).
I also hate arbitrary, no sense rules with no reason offered. They are made up on the spot to discourage. I was finally baptized a week shy of my first birthday and my sister was four! Family members scrambled to find a priest who would do it. In my book, he was a saint.
I tell everyone I am a Catholic raised outside of the post V2 chaos of the church by the grace and mercy of God, and He saw fit to keep me out. Chaos still reigns insidiously.
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