How do women feel about chivalrious men?

[LookAWayDixieLd]

Ha ha…we do have ribs (everywhere has ribs I thought) but not much kudzu and sweet tea is a strange, strange thing from east of here. We have flautas and chopped beef sandwiches and Dr Pepper and Ziegenbock!! And a huge superiority complex from being our own country for just a few years!

There is good stuff all over. People just like to toot their own horn about where they live…after all, if you didn’t think where you live is the best, why wouldn’t you move somewhere else?

This thread really makes the point that manners are based on opinion and culture. I can’t say you’re rude for not wanting to pay for dates, because that’s the culture you embrace. But I’d have equal right to say I wouldn’t date someone with that idea…and it would be better for both parties that way.

What Cecilia, said.

Actually I believe Texas holds the record for the state, with the most years/months of souvenir Independence from the US both as the Republic of Texas and part of the Confederate States of America.

 

[LookAWayDixieLd]

People in this thread have admitted to assuming people were from the North just because they were impolite! I made the comment about lazy and unambitious Southerners to demonstrate a point about relying on stereotypes. Besides, it’s better to be defensive than offensive.

So I get annoyed when people make ignorant comments. Sue me.

The pursuer should pay for the date, and the pursuant should not take advantage of him or her (buying the most expensive thing on the menu, ordering all of the appetizers, etc). If a couple date regularly it should be dutch or they should alternate on who pays. Apparently the custom here is that if the date is good, it doesn’t matter who pays but the couple has to have sex at the end. Then again, most of my interaction with people of the same age group comes from a campus wherein Catholic discrimination is okay.

Larowyn,

No one on this thread has been hash or hateful, it has all been in good fun as Catholic brothers and sisters. We often laugh at ourselves in the South and you’re right those from outside the region have a television image of the South too. No on is telling you you have to change as you rant and rage about the smallest things. Most of the things being disgusted here are customs and part of peoples family and cultural upbringing.

If you think your tone and words represent you well as a 23 yr old college graduate. Great.

If you think your tone and words represent you well as a Catholic man. Fine.

If you think your tone and words represent you well as a Connecticut resident. Terrific.

If you think your tone and words would make your parents proud of you. Wonderful.

If you think your tone and words could get you a job in an interview. Go for it.

If you think your tone and words would get you a date. Stupendous.

All I’m saying is it would not fly under normal circumstances, in a professional business environment. It is still odd to me how someone at the ripe old age of 23 can exhibit such curmudgeon traits and not offer a shred of an apology to fellow Catholics.

No one in the South has a monopoly on kindness, manors, chivalry or a Christian Heart.

 

[brigid12]

I personally, love chivalrous men!!!

 

[Larowyn]

Larowyn,

No one on this thread has been hash or hateful, it has all been in good fun as Catholic brothers and sisters. We often laugh at ourselves in the South and you’re right those from outside the region have a television image of the South too. No on is telling you you have to change as you rant and rage about the smallest things. Most of the things being disgusted here are customs and part of peoples family and cultural upbringing.

If you think your tone and words represent you well as a 23 yr old college graduate. Great.

If you think your tone and words represent you well as a Catholic man. Fine.

If you think your tone and words represent you well as a Connecticut resident. Terrific.

If you think your tone and words would make your parents proud of you. Wonderful.

If you think your tone and words could get you a job in an interview. Go for it.

If you think your tone and words would get you a date. Stupendous.

All I’m saying is it would not fly under normal circumstances, in a professional business environment. It is still odd to me how someone at the ripe old age of 23 can exhibit such curmudgeon traits and not offer a shred of an apology to fellow Catholics.

No one in the South has a monopoly on kindness, manors, chivalry or a Christian Heart.

Get thee hence, troll; thy bridge awaits.

 

[LookAWayDixieLd]

Get thee hence, troll; thy bridge awaits.

Great, then your words describe who you are and your character, quite accurately.

 

[Larowyn]

Great, then your words describe who you are and your character, quite accurately.

Yes, because it’s totally possible to determine one’s character based upon a few blurbs on some forum. Never mind the hour of play or years of conversation Aristotle cited, one can discover everything about a person based upon a few posts on the Internet. Heaven forbid someone takes offense to certain comments and responds accordingly; it would clearly indicate that they kick puppies and run a weedwacker through a rosebush in order to unwind.

 

[Conservative]

I don’t see chivalrous men as degrading - I do see them as nearly extinct !

 

[jmcrae]

I don’t see chivalrous men as degrading - I do see them as nearly extinct !

If Larowyn is any indication, it’s no wonder young women today are opting for the single life.

 

[Larowyn]

Great demonstration of Christian charity there, champ. There’s nothing chivalrous about being taken advantage of. Or is there a patron saint for women who abuse men that I’m not aware of?

 

[Image_of_God]

When I made this thread, I didn’t think many people would reply. But it’s a very interesting thread and fun to read. I love the casual talk on it. I hope it continues.

 

[Image_of_God]

Great demonstration of Christian charity there, champ. There’s nothing chivalrous about being taken advantage of. Or is there a patron saint for women who abuse men that I’m not aware of?

Come on Larowyn. Stop staying in the cold winter night. Come in and join the genial and friendly conversation with your Catholic brothers and sisters. There’s nothing to be mad about.

 

[rayne89]

Yeah, and being taken advantage of for the sake of love is pretty emasculating too. Where is it written that women have to get free meals just because they are women? I think it’s disrespectful for a woman to expect the man to pay for the dates, especially if the woman is the one who asks the man for a date. If I decide to start dating a girl regularly and she gets mad because I’d like to go dutch, then she can find some other sucker.

You must have had some bad experiences with women. I ofcourse would offer to pay my half on a first date, because that is the polite thing to do. I’ve never had a decent guy actually accept my offer to pay. I also have never asked a man on a date. You seem to view women negatively and expect to be taken advantage of -using words such as doormat and sucker.

I’m curious as to how you feel about women being stay at home moms and the husband being the sole financial supporter of the family?

 

[ruslan]

So how do you feel about these type of men (if their “chivalry” be sincere)?

I just love them!

:harp: :heaven:

 

[Larowyn]

Well if they’re married then there’s no need to worry about being taken advantage of, since ideally the husband and wife would work together for the sake of the marriage and family. Two people on a date do not have a lifelong commitment to each other, so it’s not impossible that someone taken on a date would try to rack up a huge bill just for a free meal at the other person’s expense, even if they knew there wouldn’t be a second date because of it.

I’m sure if I tried to explain my distrust I’d be considered a liar, and not simply because it seems like half of the posters in this thread are just here to pick on me.

 

[jmcrae]

Well if they’re married then there’s no need to worry about being taken advantage of, since ideally the husband and wife would work together for the sake of the marriage and family. Two people on a date do not have a lifelong commitment to each other, so it’s not impossible that someone taken on a date would try to rack up a huge bill just for a free meal at the other person’s expense, even if they knew there wouldn’t be a second date because of it.

If that’s what you think of the women that you ask out, then why do you even bother to ask them out?

 

[Eric_Olsen]

There’s alot to be said about “southern hospitality”. As a northerner, I do find people up here, especially in New England, arrogant and rude. I was on a job interview in Atlanta once when it was extremely hot and the receptionist at the company bent over backwards getting me a paper towel to wipe my forehead and cold glass of water. I didnt even ask. She saw me and offered it to me. I was very gratefull because I can tell you up here in the north, people would have looked at me and said “what a sweaty slob he is”. Again…southern hosptitality goes along way.

Also - There is nothing wrong with a man holding the door or chair for another woman or a man paying for dinner. When I was dataing I did it. And if the woman was offended, then rest assurred I would not date her again. Women like that, at least to me, have self esteem issues and take the feminist **** way to seriously.

It was said here that one can tell if someone is from the North based on how rude they are. One can tell if someone is from the South based on how quickly they quit working to get drunk.

And lulz @ not reading anything else in my posts.

 

[lizaanne]

I adore **chivalrous men!! **I am sadly not married to a DH who gets this. I usually open all the doors myself, he will order before me in a restaurant, and unless I ask for help (especially in winter when everything is bulky), I put my coat on by myself.

I’ve dated men in the past who were totally on top of these sorts of things, and I have to say that it’s something I truly miss. But, I do love my DH regardless, and try not to correct him or change him (too much ) - he is who he is I suppose.

But in answer to the OP - I think chivalrous men are wonderful! I vote for more of them in the world please!!!

~Liza

 

[ChristinaM]

Great demonstration of Christian charity there, champ. There’s nothing chivalrous about being taken advantage of. Or is there a patron saint for women who abuse men that I’m not aware of?

If you define a gentleman opening a car door or buying dinner for his lady as “abuse” or “being taken advantage of” you are on a FAR different wavelength than the rest of us. Perhaps you have had some relationship issues that have made you feel this way. But I am puzzled that you would view acts of courtesy in such an extremely negative light.

For my part I am MORE than happy to treat a man like a gentleman and be treated like a lady. My fiance has had a car and a truck without power locks. Throughout our courtship he has always opened the passenger side door for me, and once I am inside I always lean over to unlock the driver’s side door for him. In my humble opinion, that is as it should be - mutual respect between a lady and a gentleman. An older couple saw us doing this once and stopped to tell my fiance how nice it was. We were amused…it just always seemed like the natural and right thing to do. Early in our courtship he always paid for dinner, but as we became more comfortable I would treat him to the occasional meal as well. There was no “keeping score” or anything like that at all, ever. During times when money was tight we would cook at home and rent movies.

If there is no honor, tenderness, and mutuality in the courtship, how can those things be practiced in married life? Honoring and respecting women is not “being taken advantage of.” These days it seems we are so concerned with absolute equality that we have forgotten we are called to be *servants *to one another, which was the chivalrous ideal. The knight or lord was expected to behave with greater courtesy because he had been placed in a high position, not use his power to abuse those under him. Nowadays we run from anything that looks even remotely like servitude or humility, and I think it’s a real shame.

 

[Image_of_God]

I just love them!

:harp: :heaven:

I’m glad you do.

 

[Image_of_God]

I adore **chivalrous men!! **I am sadly not married to a DH who gets this. I usually open all the doors myself, he will order before me in a restaurant, and unless I ask for help (especially in winter when everything is bulky), I put my coat on by myself.

I’ve dated men in the past who were totally on top of these sorts of things, and I have to say that it’s something I truly miss. But, I do love my DH regardless, and try not to correct him or change him (too much ) - he is who he is I suppose.

But in answer to the OP - I think chivalrous men are wonderful! I vote for more of them in the world please!!!

~Liza

You can still be loving and not chivalrous, for the most part, but it is always special to have both. I think love is the foremost important thing and chivalry which is a certain way of expressing that love is secondary. But hey, he might surprise you one day…