How do you counter this argument about single parenting?

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annem said:
Nonsense. Most people who report this research are extremely kind people. They merely wish to prevent children from being harmed. Why aren’t you concerned more about the children?

Are you trying to say we cannot report on the serious harm being done to children by having a 40% illegitimacy rate in America, not to mention 50% in the UK and 60% in France?

Have you no heart? Will you please read the staggering numbers of teenagers who are committing suicide today, in incredibly larger numbers than fifty years ago. Aren’t you willing to try and help these poor children?
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Very cute of you to create a whole strawman argument to attack my character. Go read the whole reply instead of stopping at the first sentence.
 
Sarcelle said:
What do we do then?
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People like to stop at “we should talk/raise awareness about it”.

But more practical advice would be to encourage single mothers to ensure there’s some sort of trusted male (and female) figures around the child.

When that’s not possible, mentorship programs and rec centres can go a long way besides well funded education and safer neighbourhoods.

For the mom, support groups/job finding and prep services can also help.

What doesn’t help though, is people online constantly talking about single motherhood without actually touching on tangible help.
 
As a member of the ‘single parent’ group, I can assure you that these folks come in many shapes and forms (single by choice, single because spouse left, widowed, etc.) Single mothers seem to find one another. As for full time single fathers, well I haven’t met one yet…

The church doesn’t seem to have a great way to address the nuance of people who fall outside the traditional two parent/children family construct.
 
there, that kind of just proves my point, that’s how the argument usually goes, that ost children do better with married adoptive parents, therefore, they is no point for a single person to raise their own child because they simply can’t do better.
 
nevertheless, it seems to be a fairly common opinion, i’ve seen people say it on caf as well and even someitmes in real life. so, what can be our arguments against it?
 
some people think we should do that, there are moments in history when that was done, but that can also cause a lot of harm to both the parents and child, in my opinion. also, most of the people that i personally know who are adopted do have struggles with self-esteem and feelings of abandonment
 
Sarcelle said:
In my personal experience, I have met just as many single fathers as single mothers.
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Then please introduce me! I’ve met dozens of full-time single mothers. But, never once a father who has 100% custody where the mother is not part of the child’s life.
 
I knew them way back so I no longer keep in touch with any of them having moved several times.
 
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Single Father here. Raised two sons. Couldn’t imagine not being their father everyday.
 
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honestly, i instinctively know it’s a crazy opinion, but i just never know what to say to it, any suggestions?
 
Sometimes a simple, “That’s just plain silly and judgmental, I’m not even going to bother to discuss it further” is sufficient.

There are many viewpoints that truly are not worthy of our discussion time.
 
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yes, i do get what you are trying to say. but can there actually be a valid argument against it? i just can’t seem to articulate why it’s wrong, if that makes sense
 
It’s wrong because it’s both unnecessary and cruel to the child to permanently take a child away from its parent unless the parent is unable or unwilling to properly care for the child, or there is some extreme situation of child abuse going on. It is very difficult for a child to be separated from its parent, and we try to avoid that wherever possible to minimize the trauma to the child.
 
Interesting that you put “serious mental defect” and “being 15 years old” in the same sentence. Do you think being a teenager is in some way a serious mental defect?

But snark aside, 15 year olds can be good parents, providing the get support from their families, community, and friends. And what kind of parents - or friends - or community - would not be supportive?
 
I think that sure being in a home with two biological parents is ideal.

However if by circumstance a single parent is a single patent I don’t think it’s so simple to say “they should be up for adoption”. There would be so many factors to consider. Honestly that strikes me as little black and white.

I would perhaps counter by saying life is full if circumstance and that I would much rather have a loving single parent than an abusive adoptive family. But circumstances sometimes aren’t ideal, that doesn’t mean they aren’t very good.
 
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No, I was saying possible situations and didn’t mean for one to equal the other. In modern society, two fifteen year olds (without outside/family support) would have a very difficult time doing so. That’s what I was thinking of. Just finding a place to live if both are kicked out of their parents house would be a huge problem (and family didn’t take them). With support, of course it could be done (and I agree that most would). And well, I could have certainly worded that far better.

In any event, like I said best to consult with a priest or superior (who could certainly help find said support if the families wouldn’t).
 
It is scary how many (not most, but a lot) Catholic families would kick out their own daughter out of the house if their daughter got pregnant. This is something that Catholic boys who get girls pregnant do not have to worry about.

I supposed you are right - modern society is borked up beyond all belief.
 
Not if they are pro life and want the child to have the baby
 
kicking a girl ouot who is pregnant in this day and age would most likely result in single-handedly pushing her in the arms of the nearest abortion clinic. very bad idea
 
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