How do you know when you've found your soulmate?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lokisuperfan
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

lokisuperfan

Guest
I know I’m only 14, so I probably don’t know anything about love compared to most people here…but I’ve met this boy (he’s my age, don’t worry, and he’s real, too) who’s unlike any other. We clicked from the moment we met, and clicking with someone is a HUGE thing for me since I have a social disorder and don’t relate to others very well. We can talk in fragments of sentences and still follow the conversation perfectly. We think the same, act the same, and on top of that, we get along phenomenally to the point where lots of people have asked if we’re dating. He’s so sweet, and he’s so perfect that every time I talk to him I think I’m dreaming…I know it sounds stupid to have found your soulmate at 14, but is there anyone out there who believes in them who’d be willing to share how they knew they’d found theirs?
 
Just enjoy it for what it is. Please don’t project the idea of soul mates onto him. You are 14. You have many years of school and sports and everything else to go through.

Just enjoy the friendship while it lasts and don’t look too far ahead.

I have been married 31 years. My husband and I have never referred to each other as soulmates. That seems an expression only longing, young or lonely people use. There is more than one person out there. It is all about timing.
 
Last edited:
There are other people, boys and girls, out there that you would click with, to a greater or lesser degree. Think of him as one of them. Be glad you found one of them.
 
I think the notion of soul mates is probably a cause of divorce… you discover your spouse isn’t 100% perfect for you and that starts a cycle of disappointment due to unrealistic expectations. No matter who you end up marrying, it’s going to be hard work… and no two spouses “click” all the time.
 
I have no intention of forcing the idea of soulmates on him at all, he’s not allowed to date for a while anyway. I like taking things slow and enjoy where we’re at right now. I’ve known him for a year now, so we’re pretty familiar with each other. I do believe that there is one type of person that fits best with every person, and I of course acknowledge that it won’t always be perfect. Relationships and life in general would be boring if everything was perfect, and this is no exception.
 
I am not sure you have enough experience in life or dating to make the statement that “there is one type of person that fits best with every person.” That just is not true.
 
Why not? That’s why people have “types”, isn’t it?
 
You are on a Catholic website. So. I hope to give you at least part of the Catholic answer to your question.

gospel of John chapter 21: 25

There are also many other things that Jesus did, but if these were to be described individually, I do not think the whole world would contain the books that would be written

What has Jesus done in your life? What has Jesus done in your friend’s life? You need to know if Jesus is in his life.
 
You are not going to be the same person at 14 that you will be at 18, or 25. You will learn things about yourself and the world and you will change because of it. Guys will change for the same reasons. You will possibly like different types. I did not marry the same “type” of guy I liked that I liked when I was 14 school, or even in college.
 
Jesus is definitely in his life…but in a different way. He’s LDS, so he believes differently, to say the least, but he is most definitely a good person and is very kind and caring to everyone. He volunteers at the Autism Project every week for hours and wakes up at 4 a.m. on school days so he can teach the younger children at his church about their faith.
 
Let’s use that right there as an example. At 14, you don’t see the difference. You think that just being a nice person is enough. Someday you will see a relationship with you and with God is more than that.
 
So you’re saying he’s not close to God because he’s LDS?
 
Then what did you mean? What other way is there to get close to God than being kind and serving others?
 
lokisuperfan said:
we get along phenomenally to the point where lots of people have asked if we’re dating
Click to expand...
At 14, you are too young to date and should really be talking about relationships with your parents, not strangers on the internet.
lokisuperfan said:
is there anyone out there who believes in them
Click to expand...
The Church does not teach we have a “soulmate”. That would mean one and only one person we are destined to be with.

No it doesn’t work that way. God gives us free will to exercise in the choice of vocation and spouse if we marry. A widow or widower can marry again. There are many people we could be compatible with, we make the decision to love only the person we choose as our spouse. Mature love knows that neither we nor the other person is perfect. Mature love is described in 1 Corinthians 13.

Is it possible to find someone with whom you are very compatible when you are very young and not grow apart as you grow up and move on into adulthood? Yes, it’s possible but it’s not very likely.

Focus on education, personal maturity and holiness at your age. Talk to your parents about dating when you are older.

Enjoy your friendship with this other person, don’t try to force it to be a romance at your age.
 
Last edited:
I can’t remember, does this young man go to the same school as yourself?
 
Actually, I changed my mind to hold a more neutral belief on that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top