How do you know when you've found your soulmate?

[TheLittleLady]

These are good for some folks, however, these authors will tell you to take their advice as advice instead of gospel (unless they are quoting from official Church documents).

Speakers use analogies, don’t spin the analogy into monument.

The primary ends of marriage are in no particular order:

Children, the good of the spouses, relief from concupiscence.

Sacramental marriage is a sacrament, sacraments are vehicles of Grace that help us progress toward heaven.

That is a little difference than the idea that I dig into my husband’s psyche in order to find sins so I can heal them for him. More like when my husband asks me for spiritual advice, I am kind with it and I do not drive him away from the Church.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

The primary ends of marriage are in no particular order:

Children, the good of the spouses, relief from concupiscence.

Just to note, the old Baltimore Catechism defined “the good of the spouses” as each spouse helping the other one to get to Heaven.

http://www.baltimore-catechism.com/lesson26.htm

Q. 1010. What are the chief ends of the Sacrament of Matrimony?

A. The chief ends of the Sacrament of matrimony are:

1. To enable the husband and wife to aid each other in securing the salvation of their souls;
2. To propagate or keep up the existence of the human race by bringing children into the world to serve God;
3. To prevent sins against the holy virtue of purity by faithfully obeying the laws of the marriage state.

I agree with your take though, that we don’t dig into psyches and are kind.
Also I think just loving each other in a selfless way can help the other get to Heaven. I know my husband’s love helped me in this way. I would hope I managed to help him in some way.

 

[Joe_5859]

I think GospelofMatthew’s point is just that being married has a way of shining the light on our shortcomings. I can certainly relate to that. The things we might gloss over about ourselves become much more visible when you are sharing your day-to-day life with someone.

Not that this is some sort of magisterial teaching about marriage. It’s more or less an observation. I think that’s why St. Bonaventure paired marriage with temperance when he was pairing the 7 cardinal and theological virtues with the 7 sacraments (which, again, is just a theology, not Church teaching). It’s easier (at least for me) to be temperate when I am in a sense accountable to my wife for how I spend my time and money.

 

[Beryllos]

… We can talk in fragments of sentences and still follow the conversation perfectly. We think the same, act the same, and on top of that, we get along phenomenally…

Joining the conversation late here.

It sounds like a very special relationship, with a lot of harmony and compatibility. Keep it going, but be patient and don’t rush it.

I myself don’t think of it as soulmate. I actually prefer to avoid that word because in our culture it carries a lot of assumptions and expectations, some of which are unrealistic.

For example, you may have the feeling that you know and trust this boy. The way I see it, those come in time. You get to know someone better as you spend time with him in different circumstances, sometimes comfortable and easy times, and sometimes difficult and anxious situations.

Trust too grows in time. At this point, you may trust him provisionally, but trust grows stronger when two people are consistently honest, respectful, and loyal in circumstances both easy and difficult.

For you right now, I would advise you to keep it simple. Friendship is a good start. Get to know him. Spend time but also give it time and be patient. It’s good to dream big, but don’t let those dreams be a source of pressure for you or him.

 

[Beryllos]

is there anyone out there who believes in them who’d be willing to share how they knew they’d found theirs?

Sorry, I didn’t answer this question of yours. My wife and I have been married so far for 27 years, with much love and joy, compatibility and harmony.

I don’t think of us as soulmates. That is not to say anything is missing or wrong. It’s just that I associate the word with romantic novels and movies. Real life is richer than that. In our relationship there is a sense of rightness and even destiny. Nevertheless we are still two different people. Our marriage is strong partly because we do have different strengths and weaknesses. Her strengths make up for my weaknesses, and likewise my strengths make up for her weaknesses. After all these years and shared experiences, to a large extent we know each other’s thoughts, and that is a wonderful thing.

 

[Seagull]

I thought at first that you had typed the word - CELLMATE - lol -