How does femininity affect your life

[Tis_Bearself]

Men were created to protect and provide. Women was created to be nurturing gentle and to beautify.

What is your opinion?

I think blanket statements about why “men” and “women” were “created” are silly. God created us all as individuals for a unique purpose in life. He created Joan of Arc to go out and lead troops in war just like he created Raphael to beautify and accomplish and to nurture other artists. Joan may also have been capable of making a pretty room or pretty fabric, and Raphael was able to provide for himself and his studio. It is a mixed bag of talents we get.

Gender is primarily important for the moral issues of marriage and children. To me it has limited usefulness apart from that, now that we are no longer cave people and I don’t need a larger, stronger male to spear the wild animals or other tribes before they attack or kill me.

If someone wants to have the gender concept you described, fine, have it, it’s your opinion and this is a free country. Just don’t impose it on me! I’m also very happy my parents didn’t have such limiting ideas.

 

[Sarcelle]

I celebrate being a feminine woman by gardening.

I love nurturing plants and getting as a reward delicious vegetables and fruits and beautiful flowers like roses.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I too have to wonder why some woman would even start such a thread. It’s too loaded of a topic to be like, “Oh, I just figured I’d start a nice Sunday discussion.”

In this day and age, and given that the OP is not 14 years old but a grown adult wife and mom, then the OP surely must know that many others, women AND men, are not going to agree.

It also raises questions about how the OP might treat or privately opine about people they meet who do not fit into the gender mold they have described.

 

[Sarcelle]

I’m also very happy my parents didn’t have such limiting ideas.

Same here.

I don’t slavishly follow stereotypical femininity. I try to follow my interest not caring whether they are or are not stereotypically feminine.

Take for example long painted nails. I keep my nails clipped and short. Not practical for gardening.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Take for example long painted nails. I keep my nails clipped and short. Not practical for gardening.

Yeah, I actually love nail art when it is done on the natural nail. I don’t like fake nails and never did.

I don’t do nail art on my nails because not only do I lack time, but I find that my nails are often involved in some other project like cleaning the cat box, or cleaning up a mess the cat made, or washing dishes, or doing some craft or repair or other task that’s hard on the nails, so it’s not worth finding the time. Plus I think most mani-pedi places are exploiting the female employees (who around here are usually Asian immigrants). So I just enjoy the nice natural nails God gave me.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I mean, let’s be honest, female underwear is just way more comfortable.

(This is a joke, I’m joking…)

 

[Salibi]

What is your opinion?

I don’t think there’s any problem with thinking this way, as long as you realize that other people and families are different and they aren’t “wrong”, “weird”, or “abnormal” for being so.

Do keep in mind that each family has unique circumstances, and each family is made up of unique individuals. Faced with that fact, it is rather silly to claim that men should absolutely behave in a certain way and women in another. Not all families have both parents present at all times for a host of reasons, such as work, death, or divorce. In many households, women have to do the work traditionally done by men and vice versa. There’s nothing “abnormal” or “wrong” with that.

My father’s job required him to be out of the country for long periods of time, so a lot of the time it fell to my mom to do the traditionally “manly” things around the house, like basic repairs and car maintenance, in addition to traditionally “female” things like cooking and cleaning. Likewise, my father had to learn how to cook and clean as he lived alone for much of the year (He makes a superb pesto pasta). There’s nothing wrong with any of that.

So, to summarize, if you’re the type of person who prefers traditional gender roles that’s perfectly fine and valid. What’s NOT fine is insinuating or attacking other people for not adhering to these gender roles, either by choice or due to circumstance, or giving single parents a hard time. (You haven’t done this, just saying).

Furthermore, I personally think activities like cooking and cleaning, car maintenance and home repair, are basic life skills that should be taught to both genders. Like someone else said, we don’t live in caves anymore where an allocation of skills is required.

Also, not to be snide, but “macho” men who think cooking or changing their kids diapers makes less manly are being extremely silly and unmanly. Real masculinity isn’t threatened by engaging in the very manly activity of taking care of their wives and kids, which includes cooking every once in a while to give the wife a break and changing diapers.

Just my two cents.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

Also, not to be snide, but “macho” men who think cooking or changing their kids diapers makes less manly are being extremely silly and unmanly. Real masculinity isn’t threatened by engaging in the very manly activity of taking care of their wives and kids, which includes cooking every once in a while to give the wife a break and changing diapers.

Agreed. I’m a guy who readily changes diapers, reads bedtime stories, and gives baths. Giving up this time with my kids because it’s “feminine” and I should be watching football and drinking Miller Lite is not a trade I want to make. I’m not so insecure in my masculinity that I feel like I’ll become “girly” if I do a load of laundry or clean the kitchen.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

What is your opinion?

I think it’s totally fine. You do you.

You just have to recognize that a woman who likes engaging in more stereotypically “masculine” pursuits isn’t somehow wrong. If a woman likes watching football or tinkering on her car, she’s not somehow less of a woman.

 

[F_Marturana]

Around me the nail salons are primarily Asian, but I assumed Asian owned as well, not just the workers.

Here’s an interesting article.

How Tippi Hedren made Vietnamese refugees into nail salon magnates - BBC News

 

[1ke]

What is your opinion?

My opinion is that it sounds like you are saying women who don’t behave or dress the way you do aren’t feminine. And that men aren’t nurturers.

Which is offense.

“Feminine” is a cultural construct to a large degree.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

Men were created to protect and provide. Women was created to be nurturing gentle and to beautify.

I wonder what your take would be on a couple I know where the husband is a stay at home dad and the wife works.

At first blush, a lot of people would say that he’s somehow emasculated. But for them, they got married a little later in life. He was finishing up twenty years in the Marines, and she was finishing medical school. After they got married and had kids, they decided he would stay home and she would practice medicine and be the primary breadwinner.

He still has income (his military pension) but she definitely brings home most of the money. But no one would ever call him “feminine.” He’s a retired Marine and does most of their home renovations himself. He’s not mincing around in a housecoat or fainting at spiders.

It may be an unusual situation, but my point is that even though they have reversed traditional gender roles, no one would call him girly and no one would call her manly.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Around me the nail salons are primarily Asian, but I assumed Asian owned as well, not just the workers.

The owners are often Asian, and there have been multiple news stories about how some of them entice women over here to work, then hold their passports hostage, pay them peanuts and keep them in a virtual slavery type situation. Having an Asian owner is no guarantee that this is not happening and since I cannot discern the good from the bad places and I grew up doing my own manicure for decades before nail salons became a thing, I choose to not support the whole industry.

 

[1ke]

Then the issue of androgynous clothing.

You want to take about androgynous clothing? Then hop on over to first century Palestine. Where everyone wore a tunic.

And women have worn led coverings— leggings or truss the forerunner of trousers— since ancient times, particularly in colder climates and in certain cultures.

So basically, my opinion is that your position is nonsense.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You want to take about androgynous clothing? Then hop on over to first century Palestine. Where everyone wore a tunic.

Including Jesus himself…

 

[JulianN]

But in our family, that’s not the case. He’s not the head, so there’s no need for me to somehow be the neck.

 

[F_Marturana]

Feminine” is a cultural construct to a large degree.

Yes. Boys in pants girls in dresses is just cultural.

In ancient times clothing looked similar for everyone.

I’m sure everyone has seen the cute baby picture of Pope John Paul II.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

Little boys don’t dress that way anymore. 100 years ago they did. Today’s standards that looks feminine.

 

[Lea101]

I would obviously disagree with the sentiment that women are created to be one way while men another, but I’ve said that at length recently.

As for how femininity affects my life, it doesn’t in a conscious way. I think I’ve said before, if you’re consciously thinking of how to be more feminine/masculine, you’re probably doing it ‘wrong’ (I use the term quite loosely, as I know generally we may force ourselves to be more or less feminine in appropriate contexts).

I used to describe myself as a tomboy as I was seriously aversive to anything girly or stereotypical. As I grew up I began to enjoy playing around with skincare and makeup. I recently started to play around with simple pieces of jewellery. I enjoy the freedom of being a woman in this sense. I can wear jeans and a t shirt one day, and a skirt the other and it’s totally fine. Men don’t have that luxury, so I’m grateful in that sense, although overall I’d rather be a guy (if I’m being honest).

As for personality, as far as I’m aware of, I’m just plain old me. I come across as gentle and soft to others but that’s mostly because I’m a huge introvert who’s quite shy, lol. Ask my brothers and they’ll burst out laughing if you tell them I’m feminine.

So I don’t have a clear answer of how it affects my life. It’s difficult to pigeon-hole myself, because I look feminine (probably not in the terms you’re talking about, because I practically live in jeans and everything that’s not flowy or floral), but my personality seems to be a decent mix.

I think everyone has a mix of masculine and feminine qualities, in the conventional sense. The trick isn’t to find a 50-50 balance, but to just refine those traits and know when to tap into these areas when needed. Men, for example, should aim to be emotionally intelligent and empathetic, if they aren’t already. Women should aim to be assertive and straightforward, if they aren’t already. There are so many lovely qualities to cultivate, and it’s almost a crime to restrict ourselves only to the traits that’s “assigned” to our sex. I know that for myself, I probably need to work on certain “masculine” traits like assertiveness, but also on a “feminine trait” which is being more open emotionally,and less stoic in real life.

 

[Adamek]

. . . .

"God created man in his own image. . . . male and female he created them. And God blessed them, saying: “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” (Gn 1:27 & 28)

"Then the Lord God cast a deep sleep upon the man, and while he was fast asleep, he took one of his ribs, and closed up its place with flesh. And the Lord God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: “At last, this one is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. …That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.” (Gn 2:21-24)

 

[Lucy_1]

I’m in my 50s, been married for 29 years, and I have come to believe that gender roles are for the birds. Not to say there are no psychological differences between men and women-- there are. But we are much more than our gender, age, race, intelligence, attractiveness, or any other attribute which usually serves to compartmentalize us.