How has the Pennsylvania scandal affected you personally?

[Jezra]

My heart goes out to the victims. The assailants were/are trusted members of the community. Trust is hard enough to come by in the modern world. If you can’t trust a priest, who can you trust?

 

[MonteRCMS]

Deepened my prayer life.

 

[Jezra]

I think the problem is with the fact that priests represent Jesus. Jesus would never have abused a child. Teachers and the rest are “mortal”. Priests are considered “divine”. If you can’t trust a priest, who can you trust? Priests should be at the highest level of the moral high ground, in my humble opinion.

 

[F_Marturana]

I know that.

My oldest was in little league for years.

I’m saying I never thought to say no before, this scandal has shaken me.

 

[Peeps]

You’ve nailed it. That’s the issue.

No Protestant pastor, or teacher, or janitor, or neighbor, etc. claims to stand in personae Christae (probably misspelled–I’m not into Latin). Only priests.

 

[christofirst]

This reminds me, when I first started work as an electrician shortly after 12 years of Catholic school, I was still rather naïve and idealistic. But when I mentioned in casual conversation that I had been a altar boy, an unexpectedly large number of the guys would laugh sarcastically and jokingly say, “Oh, were you Father’s special friend?’” and other more graphic kinds of innuendo. This was back in the early '80s, before the news of these scandals had officially come to light. My point is, it seems as if the sexual abuse of minors by clergy was common knowledge to many people, even though few with real authority took effective steps to stop it.

Our archdiocese uses the VIRTUS program now to safeguard children, with background checks and regular retraining for all church employees.
https://www.la-archdiocese.org/org/protecting/safeguard/pages/education.aspx
We’ve also done things like installing windows on all confessionals, to further discourage the opportunity for scandal. I hope it’s working!

 

[phil19034]

I am writing to my state senator and reps to remove the statue of limitations here in TN. I am also asking they require the church to turn over all document related to any sexual abuses.

You have to be careful here. The Statue of Limitations exsists for a reason. It protects the innocent against false claims and clouded memories.

Also, whatever laws are changed due to this MUST be applied to both public and private sector.

For example: Pennsylvania tried to introduce a law that would expand the statue of limitations for only non-profit groups and private enterprises, but NOT expand them for public entities, like the public schools.

If there is a change, it MUST affect everyone or no one. It would be wrong to only increase the statue of limitations on churches and non-profits but not increase the statue of limitations on public schools.

To me, perhaps the most DAMAGING thing to society out of all this is the eroding concept in America of innocent until proven guilty.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

think the problem is with the fact that priests represent Jesus. Jesus would never have abused a child. Teachers and the rest are “mortal”. Priests are considered “divine”.

No, this isn’t correct. Priests are Jesus’ special agents on earth, but it is against Catholic teaching to consider any human “divine” except Jesus. We don’t even consider Mother Mary to be “divine”.

The priest only acts “as Jesus” in certain circumstances, such as when he is hearing confession. That doesn’t make him actually BE Jesus or be divine in any way.

I understand your underlying point though, that priests are supposed to be holier and live their lives to a higher standard. And many of them do just that. There are many holy priests who have never abused a child or an adult or even been suspected of doing so.

The priests who are accused likely also did some holy things, as controversial as that may sound. They administerered many sacraments like baptism, Holy Communion, penance/ reconciliation, marriage, and last rites/ anointing of the sick. A priest near my hometown who had been accused many years ago just before he retired and his church was closed, recently died. I saw a number of people posting on his online obituary memories of how kind or helpful he had been to them, how he had helped them with a faith issue or prepared them to receive some sacrament. One poster said when she was a child, she tripped and fell down and her classmates all laughed at her, and Father appeared, took her away from the mean kids, made her a PBJ sandwich and cheered her up.

 

[Jezra]

Not all countries have a statute of limitations when it comes to criminal law. We don’t here in the UK. Sure, Pennsylvania falls under US legal jurisdiction and legal redress might not be available. However, does God’s Law also have a statute of limitations?

 

[phil19034]

Not all countries have a statute of limitations when it comes to criminal law. We don’t here in the UK. Sure, Pennsylvania falls under US legal jurisdiction and legal redress might not be available. However, does God’s Law also have a statute of limitations?

Apples, oranges & extravagant grapes.

 

[Golightlyholly]

I can relate so much to you.

I have learned that corruption is real. Humans can be evil and even Dante‘s inferno comes close to the corruption of men. As soon as I have a child I will be like a hawk and prudent. And even then it can happen and it is heartbreaking.
God gives me strength and courage to not dispear.

I am heartbroken about the damage done to all Catholics.

 

[Irishmom2]

Instead of saying no, make sure you have had a conversation with your son about physical boundaries, what is inappropriate for anyone your son comes into contact with, not just people from church. He should not be dropped off at church, or the rectory, just serve mass. Be there with him for any training or practices.

Second, have a discussion with your son, that he should always feel free to come to you if anyone does anything that makes him feel uncomfortable, no matter what the other person says to them. Children need to know that no one else has any authority over them. They need to know you will believe them and will protect them.

If more people had had discussions like this with their families, there may have been less opportunity for abuse to have happened. It is something that everyone needs to discuss with their children unfortunately, in the world we live in.

And please, if anything were to happen, report it to the police as you would anyone else, the neighbor, a teacher, a coach, or a family member.

 

[phil19034]

My heart goes out to the victims. The assailants were/are trusted members of the community. Trust is hard enough to come by in the modern world. If you can’t trust a priest, who can you trust?

I think still all have to remember the percentage of priests abusing children is still very low. Granted, 1 child is too many.

But this is a societal issue. If they were to launch grand juries into other aspects of society during that time frame, they would find similar horrors.

The number of kids abused in school and summer camps is huge.

I personally knew of one man who was fired for touching a 10 year old girl, and I know at least two male high school teachers from my high school who slept with high school girls. One was such public knowledge among the student body, I’m surprised the school didn’t find out.

And the other married the student a few years after she left high school.

This is EVERYWHERE. And while we Catholics are right to expect perfection from our priests, we cannot allow anti-Catholics to use these horrors to advance their agendas.

God Bless

 

[F_Marturana]

Thanks.

I hope I’m explaining myself well.

Up until hearing about McCarrick (sp?) I was under the impression this was the past of the Church.

My parish has been a great place.

I’m trying to say that I never thought to say no.

My youngest hasn’t asked yet.

My sister worked in a rectory from when she was 12 to when she was 20. She answered phone calls, wrote out Mass cards, did filing. Nothing ever happened, the biggest scandal was at dinner when the pastor and pastor emeritus didn’t know where to sit. Oh and a younger priest’s taste in music.

 

[philipl]

You have to be careful here. The Statue of Limitations exsists for a reason. It protects the innocent against false claims and clouded memories.

Also, whatever laws are changed due to this MUST be applied to both public and private sector.

For example: Pennsylvania tried to introduce a law that would expand the statue of limitations for only non-profit groups and private enterprises, but NOT expand them for public entities, like the public schools.

If there is a change, it MUST affect everyone or no one. It would be wrong to only increase the statue of limitations on churches and non-profits but not increase the statue of limitations on public schools.

To me, perhaps the most DAMAGING thing to society out of all this is the eroding concept in America of innocent until proven guilty.

I have said at least twice that it should apply to all. I also think to protect the innocent against false claims the statue of limitation can be shown as invalid when a cover up was in place. The wheels of justice were never allowed to take place due to the church leaders covering up the crimes.

 

[Jezra]

OK. Maybe I was clumsy in my terminology. I am a lay-person, speaking as a lay-person. I think you got it, but to clarify, the general population sees priests as representative of Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. A part of a priest’s role is to be a moral compass for the rest of us. If they transgress, they cause a much stronger emotional response than, say, a janitor.

Sure. Priests might exude charity and benefice, but people will start seeing that as a mask, as I see it. “A white swan might glide on the surface but its feet are kicking in mud.”, to use a metaphor.

Unfortunately, with the current scandal, even the good priests will be tarred with the same brush.

In the same way you are probably less likely to purchase Monsanto weed-killer following the recent $290m case, people are going to be less likely to buy into the Church, is my feeling. While the vast majority of Monsanto employees are innocent, the brand has been tarnished.

 

[Irishmom2]

Well that’s why I said all children should have this discussion, concerning anyone they might encounter. Too many stories are around where children later stated they were told not to tell, that it was their secret, or their family would be harmed if they told anyone. Children need to be told they should not listen to that, and always tell their parents.

 

[phil19034]

phil19034:

You have to be careful here. The Statue of Limitations exsists for a reason. It protects the innocent against false claims and clouded memories.

Also, whatever laws are changed due to this MUST be applied to both public and private sector.

For example: Pennsylvania tried to introduce a law that would expand the statue of limitations for only non-profit groups and private enterprises, but NOT expand them for public entities, like the public schools.

If there is a change, it MUST affect everyone or no one. It would be wrong to only increase the statue of limitations on churches and non-profits but not increase the statue of limitations on public schools.

To me, perhaps the most DAMAGING thing to society out of all this is the eroding concept in America of innocent until proven guilty.

I have said at least twice that it should apply to all. I also think to protect the innocent against false claims the statue of limitation can be shown as invalid when a cover up was in place. The wheels of justice were never allowed to take place due to the church leaders covering up the crimes.

True. However, do we really need to change the statue of limitations? It seems that we are becoming more open to reporting sexual abuse than we were as a society in generations past. (But we still have more work to do)

To me, I think we should simply focus on making it easier and more comfortable for people to report sexual crimes & abuses to folks who will be caring and attentive to the victims.

And not treat them as if they are simply a witness or even worse, a hostile witness.

BTW - while the leaders did cover up the details, there were still a TON of lay people who knew what was going on with certain priests. But people didn’t want the scandal. It wasn’t just the bishops who wanted to avoid scandal, plenty of Catholic parents during the 1950s, 1960s, & even 1970s and early 1980s would not have wanted such details to be discussed in public.

EVERYBODY with power - clergy and rich lay people wanted to avoid scandal and keep the details of these crimes quiet.

God Bless

 

[phil19034]

Well that’s why I said all children should have this discussion, concerning anyone they might encounter. Too many stories are around where children later stated they were told not to tell, that it was their secret, or their family would be harmed if they told anyone. Children need to be told they should not listen to that, and always tell their parents.

Very true!

We also have to remember too, that back then, there were even parents who would tell their children to keep it quiet. Dad might have beat the hell out of the pervert, but many in society would have kept the police & other authorities out of it.

Society back then had a tendency to blame the victim, which is a shame

 

[Wendy1989]

I’m having a really hard time dealing with all of this mess. My parish was a ‘ground zero’ for a pederast priest. One of my dear friends is the mother of a then-teenaged boy who was molested and raped by this man. The boy also grew up with a father that blamed his own son for the rape. This is also on top of Chile, Honduras, Kerala and McCarrick.

I’m having a hard time with the ‘obedience’ issue. I believe this has compounded the silence. Deacons are to be obedient to the priest and the priest to the bishop. Religious are to be obedient to their superiors, etc… My question is this: When is the demand for obedience abusive?

I’ve been reading some works on Theology of the Body in light of Humane Vitae. The regard and respect for the highest of God’s creation is not being clouded in the ‘cone of silence’.

Currently, my parish is in renovation mode. Father has gone a bit bonkers and is only communicating with a select few (Finance Board & Parish Council) as to the plans. The parish has had no recent communication as to how much this is all costing us. I was told “We just need to support Father and do whatever he asks us to do” or 'This is what Father wants and we just have to respect it". Because of the money that’s being spent, I doubt my priest will say a word. He doesn’t want to upset the major doners.

The attitude of 'Whatever Father wants, we must obey" is a huge part of the problem. We need a culture change.