How has the Pennsylvania scandal affected you personally?

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redbetta said:
Honestly, I’m not feeling anything really.
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I had felt similarly. It bothered me like any story of abuse would. I didn’t feel particularly worse about it because of its connection to the Church. Until the Pennsylvania report came out.

Then I understood the enormity of what went on. The priest who married my wife and me and baptized our first child is on the list. He was a good guy. He was distinguished, engaging, savvy. He was kind to children and played golf with CEOs. He wasn’t “one of those priests.”

Well, it turns out he is one of those priests. 😔

Now all I see is hypocrisy. How can I trust the temporal institution maintained by the men who betrayed all of us? These are the men who decide whether to bind my sins on earth, the men who administer the sacraments, the men who tell me they are guided by the Holy Spirit.
 
JanetF said:
The use of threats against family is a well-known tactic of abusers to children. I can remember having that discussion with my daughter as well. “don’t believe anyone who tells you not to tell or they will hurt mommy or daddy”. Mommy and Daddy are adults and can take care of these things for you, never be afraid to tell us if someone is threatening you"
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My parents told us the same thing. Undoubtedly I would have blurted something along the lines of, “Daddy has a gun and isn’t afraid to use it”.

My one Parish priest was verbally abusive to everyone. Thankfully, he never bothered me as I would have been less than polite.
 
We should remember that these people are not the Antichrist. It’s unlikely that every waking moment was utilized for planning and implementing evil.

Therefore, any good that they did in their life shouldn’t be negated by their evil actions. Fr. Corapi comes to mind here 🤔
 
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Not all priests are corrupt.

Yes, some of them are hypocrites. How does this change any truth the Church teaches? The Church is NOT the priests and Bishops who lead. The Church is the ALL of us, laity, priests, Bishops, the deposit of truth. And unfortunately, we are all human.

The Church teaches that we have a natural inclination to sin. I’d say that aspect has absolutely been proven true in this scandal.

You will not find an institution anywhere that is free of this kind of sin. It exists LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. Did some Bishops fail in how they handled things? Absolutely. Does that mean all Bishops will fail? Absolutely not.

When you go to confession you are not confessing to the priest, you are confessing to Christ and it is CHRIST who absolves you, not that priest.

When you receive the Eucharist, it is from Christ, NOT the priest, he is merely a vessel.

Any sacrament they administer is NOT theirs to administer but comes from Christ directly.

I think it’s important to put these priests in their proper place and not to give them so much power (they never had power to begin with, we just, for whatever reason, elevated them above their status).

They are servants as Christ, as are we. And some of them failed. Horrendously. But many of them won’t.
 
As I see it, many of societies problems stem from selfishness and entitlement. Instead of serving others, people take what they desire. This attitude turns Good Men Cruel…

 
Not making any changes. But it’s is reaffirming for me that leaving the RCC was the right decision for me.
 
It’s not about an “inquisition” type action. However, action by the episcopate is required. I’m tired of hearing all the bishops running the same PR spin machine of “I didn’t know of this behavior and pray for the victims.” It’s time for action, and it will be painful. The upcoming meeting of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops need fully address this crisis. In the meantime, I will continue praying, going to mass, but all my giving will go directly to charities. USCCB…I’m waiting.

That’s how it has affected me.
 
Raiders motto from the early '80s: We don’t take what the defense gives us, we take what we want! ☠️
 
I’d like to think I wouldn’t have left the Church even when there were scandalous Popes, let alone with this.

My hope, however, is that the Church will lead the way in being “shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.”

Sexual offenders who prey on children can be extremely patient and duplicitous. We know this. We also know that people who suffer from sexual disorders will also keep them very secret even when they are honestly trying to battle their faults. Which of us, after all, has ever committed a sexual sin and not tried to keep it a secret from others? Which of us does not have faults we don’t hide and, in spite of confident resolutions to amend ourselves with the help of grace, don’t fail to amend even after years of trying to do so?

Recognizing the reality of human nature requires that we recognize the necessity of being constantly vigilant and holding ourselves to standards of conduct that will eliminate as many opportunities to offend as possible. We also need to leave potential predators as liable to exposure as possible without tarring the innocent or denying due process. That’s going to mean that some good people are going to be found not guilty and yet, because they have failed to follow the necessary protocols meant to protect both children and their own reputations, are also going to be denied future contact with children.

It is the way it has to be, if we’re going to protect the most innocent members of the faithful. It is going to put a burden on some people who have not actually committed a serious offense because their failure to exercise good judgment puts children at risk. We have to live with that.
 
Don’t be. I’ve got a better relationship with Christ now as a nice side effect.
 
Yes, it was dangerous. But at the same time, he could have just been a teenage guy who liked to use the supply closet as his private “office” to hang out, perhaps so that the school would not see that he was wasting time socializing instead of working at his job. Being only 18, he might not have even been thinking that would be perceived as bad, if he didn’t plan on doing anyone any harm in the closet.

If there were no reports of this guy actually doing anything untoward, then I wouldn’t make assumptions just because he took you both into the closet and did nothing but talk.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
If there were no reports of this guy actually doing anything untoward, then I wouldn’t make assumptions just because he took you both into the closet and did nothing but talk.
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Speaking as a highly paid Master Custodian, the janitorial closet is my refuge 😌

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Not with a 12 year old and 13 year old girl.

Teachers aren’t supposed to be in closed rooms alone with a student. Janitors in closed closets with a young girl shouldn’t happen.

I don’t know if anything happened. It wasn’t prudent for him to do that.
 
He was only 18. 18-year-old young men are not exactly the picture of excellent judgment.

What’s more important here is that he did not do anything to you. Or try to do anything.

So at most, he is guilty of having poor judgment in doing something that might look bad.

I’m sure I could mentally turn my mind back to the 1970s and come up with situations that today would raise all sorts of eyebrows and appear dangerous, but if the man didn’t do anything or act like he was going to do something, it’s a bit unfair to be painting him as sinister.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
He was only 18. 18-year-old young men are not exactly the picture of excellent judgment.

What’s more important here is that he did not do anything to you. Or try to do anything
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Exactly. Not everything is nefarious or well thought out. Today we’re all officially paranoid and conditioned. Back then, not so much.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
He was only 18. 18-year-old young men are not exactly the picture of excellent judgment.

What’s more important here is that he did not do anything to you. Or try to do anything.

So at most, he is guilty of having poor judgment in doing something that might look bad.
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Well, but 18 year olds are also capable of vetting and grooming potential victims. The mode of operation among predators is often to cast a wide net, to gain a reputation as “everyone’s harmless and generous friend,” partly to deflect suspicion and partly to flatter the victim when he or she is the subject of “special attention” that the other kids don’t get. If the victim is convinced not to tell–as the predator deceptively casts the situation, mind you!–not to keep the predator from getting into trouble but so that others won’t be “jealous” or “think the wrong thing,” it gives the predator the secrecy he (or she) needs to operate.

Yes, he may be guilty of poor judgment “at most,” but he may be guilty of far worse with one victim at a time. Actual predators have testified that this was what they did even as teens and young adults, so it is not a far-fetched possibility. It is what someone has to do who wants to totally dominate in a relationship but doesn’t have what it takes to dominate a more mature target.
 
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Well, I’m pretty sure as a young teenager I was alone with some male who was 18, 19 or 20, probably more than once. Heck, some of them were my cousins - and we all know that family members can be predators too.

I am not going to start labeling every teenage boy or young man a potential predator if being alone with a younger girl or even a younger guy is the most he does.

When I was in high school, back in the late 70s and early 80s, it was not unheard of for a girl of 13 or 14 to date a guy who was 18 or 19, particularly if he was known to her family. Everything wasn’t viewed through a “predator” lens in the past, and not every situation was abusive.
Let’s not overreact.
 
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Well, unless somebody wants to play Detective Harry Nile and see if he completed his perverse transformation, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. We have no control over the past, only the future. Yes, we should be alert and cautious but mass hysteria and paranoia are not necessary.

One of my former coworkers who was in his mid 20’s would often smoke marijuana with 17 year olds. I knew the people he smoked with and there was nothing egregious being committed. They just loved that Weed 🤤
 
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