How many children do you have?

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People always comment on the age difference between our children. They don’t understand that we were not always Catholic. Things like birth control and sterilization are not uncommon among our Protestant brethren.
 
Maybe it’s better to say nothing and just pray.

My dh gets a lot of razzing at work for our 8 (Octavia on the way!). I feel bad for him. I get alot more positive comments from my homeschool families who tend to have big families. In fact, I always tell them about my pregnancies first so their joy for us gives me strength to cope with my family and my inlaws.

Our smaller families in our homeschool community do feel like they are judged, but it’s really not true!! We do tend to talk sometimes about the difficulties and joys of large families when we are together–the support is so helpful. But, sometimes we forget that our friends with smaller families sitting with us. 😦

When I see a devout Catholic couple with no children or a small family, I usually think that there are health problems or infertility.

I know a lot of families are contracepting in my parish and honestly, I just know that they are uneducated. My whole generation is full of uneducated Catholics. I myself just stumbled into my knowledged by Grace. Thank God. But, when I didn’t know Catholic teaching (not even on the Real Presence), I didn’t even know that I was so ignorant. I just assumed I’d been taught everything I need to know by my ccd classes.

The number of cafeteria Catholics is really very small. It’s more like they don’t know the menu.

The cross of infertility is a heavy one. God is using that pain for some great good.

I also feel sorry for the people who will stand before God some day and see the children that God wanted to give them. That will be so painful for them. But, God will comfort them.
 
God blessed us with two. We would love more, but it hasn’t happened yet.
 
DH and I currently have 1. If God blesses us with more, great! If not, I can still be okay with that.
 
You didn’t include an option for 0.
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Thank you for beating me to the same comment. Not all of us are blessed with children of our own and others shouldn’t assume nor judge. It can be hurtful. Thankfully God provides in other ways that are just as special. Blessings - Chochy
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
If you have too many, society judges you. It’s just further proof that you can’t please everyone. I just wish people were judging me for having too many, than not having any. The pain I feel myself is torture enough without the noisy or pointed comments. And then we could revel in the joy of our children, instead of treating the cat like a baby…LOL
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Never lose hope. God works in mysterious ways. I do not have children of my own, but I am not childless. I ended up with two goddaughters (10 and 26) who are just an absolute joy in my life. Due to circumstances, neither one, no longer have close relationships with their birthmothers. We help each other in ways I would never have imagined. My dreams came true. Blessings - Chochy
P.S. We also have a dog!
 
We’ve got just the one, but we’ve only just got started. 😉 We’re hoping for ~4, but will be happy with however many we end up with.
 
dizzy_dave said:
Our kids go to Catholic school too (4 of them), he says “how do you afford that?” I said, “we do without some things.” He says, “what, food.” It bothers me because he’s a Catholic too. My doctor also makes comments, like “when you going to get fixed?” I’ll say, “well it seems to work just fine.” We also get the “boy, I bet your busy, probably, don’t have any free time.” I’m just sick of the negative comments and the stares.
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I have 9 children. I guess it has to do with tone, but when people ask how I can afford it, I assume they’re just curious, not being critical. Unfortunately, I think most Catholics follow the way of the world. (Hopefully I’m wrong about that.) I had a doctor who constantly hounded me about birth control with #5. I went to a different doctor the next time. Another doctor made obnoxious comments about how I didn’t have to keep having children. Once again, I didn’t return to her. Problem solved.

I also get the ‘boy you’re busy’ comment a lot, but I don’t consider that negative. It’s just a comment. People are surprised and not used to it, and have a hard time imagining life with that many kids.

It’s possible I’m oblivious, but I really feel the vast majority of the comments I’ve gotten have been very positive.
 
People should avoid making any faces or comments; children are ALWAYS a blessing and if you and your spouse can handle it, kudos to you all! That’s wonderful. For my sanity and my hubby’s & work schedules, we can only handle 2.

However, you must know and realize by now that having more than 3 children is simply not the norm - so sadly, people judge, wonder, marvel, etc at the fact that you have 7!
 
1 right now, but we haven’t had a lot of time for more. 😛 (I’m about 95% sure I got pregnant on our wedding night and my fertility still hasn’t returned after DS’s birth in April.)

Someone recently asked me at a Christmas party how many children DH and I thought we would have (in our friend group we’re the only ones who have kids, and most of our friends are still single as well). When I said, “I don’t know, as many as we end up with,” the person looked at me a little shocked. When talking with a few other friends, they already had their “number” set and told me that their husbands were getting “snipped” as soon as that number was reached (they weren’t Catholic.)

I used to think I would have it all planned out but I’m a lot more relaxed not worrying about it now. 👍
 
dizzy_dave said:
My wife and I are both 37 and we have 7 children. We get alot of funny looks in public and my boss has been making comments lately too concerning insurance, etc. (he’s a “Catholic” too - lapsed) I’m sick of being looked at as if we are freaks. I’m not sure why people are so concerned about it. What do you say to them? Many times I’m caught off guard and only later think of a comeback. How do you deal with it? We love our kids and can’t imagine like without them.
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I’m the seventh of eight. When I was growing up, eight was a medium-large family; familes with ten or twelve were not rare, and there were a few families with sixteen. That was then. We have two. Members of my family with more started getting flack at about four. (The primary reason for the smaller familes was marrying a lot later in life. My parents had six by the time my mom hit the age I was when my husband and I took up housekeeping.)

Comebacks I have heard include: “Which one do you think we should throw back?” “Oh, gosh, you think seven is too many? You don’t know what you’re missing! We were bumming because we don’t think we’ll get to a dozen!”

I got many comments when our twins were little, along the lines of “Wow. Glad it is you and not me.” My rule was this: Always say something that you would want your kids to overhear. They are the only ones who will remember what you said, and the only ones you ought to really care about. So when someone said, “Double trouble!” I always replied with “Oh, no! Four times the fun!” When I was asked how I do it, I always said they were a joy, and worth every bit of trouble. I told them often that I was a lucky mom.

When our boys were six or so, we saw this woman in the crosswalk, pushing a stroller. She was accompanied by four or five children (including the one in the stroller), all under five. My kids exclaimed, “Wow! Look at her! What a lucky mom!” That was the day I knew I’d spoken the right way. My advice is to aim for that kind of feedback, and ignore the rest.
 
I’m 26, my wife is 27 and we have 4 children… the latest arrived 8 months ago. We get lots and lots of comments.

I work full time (around 50 hours), my wife works around 25 hours a week (during school hours) and 2 of our children are now at school. My wife takes them to and from school during the week and when she’s working on a Saturday it’s Daddy time! Luckily we have very kind parents/family always willing to babysit if needed.

I have already written on threads talking about how now I am starting to worry that we’re going to end up with loads of children!
 
EasterJoy said:
I told them often that I was a lucky mom.

When our boys were six or so, we saw this woman in the crosswalk, pushing a stroller. She was accompanied by four or five children (including the one in the stroller), all under five. My kids exclaimed, “Wow! Look at her! What a lucky mom!” That was the day I knew I’d spoken the right way. My advice is to aim for that kind of feedback, and ignore the rest.
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What a beautiful story! I often tell my kids I’m a lucky mom, too. 🙂 (I have 9,)
 
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