And if I’m wrong, is there actually a real life example of a proper submission? Or is it just filled with flowery language to make us modern women feel less afraid of a Christian marriage? In my time here, I’ve seen the same things being said over and over in threads like this, but never a decent example to illustrate it
I don’t know if you ever saw this, but I really like this Protestant lady’s approach (she’s isn’t Catholic, but she’s been married a long time, she has some very interesting ideas about what submission is, and she seems to be a good and loving wife):
"When I speak at marriage conferences, I often ask wives what they think submission means. The room grows silent as they hem and haw, until finally a few hands are raised. “When you disagree, he gets the final say.”
"I’ve never heard an answer other than that one. If you think about it, though, that sounds rather peculiar–as if God’s command for women in marriage can be summed up as, “in the case of ties, husbands win”! Perhaps when it comes to submission, the immortal words of the Princess Bride apply, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” So let’s look at what submission does–and doesn’t–mean.
“Does the same God who sets high standards for us–whose will is that “there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought (1 Corinthians 1:10)”–turn to marriage and say, “obviously agreement isn’t possible there”? Why is unity the starting point in every other Christian relationship, while disunity is the starting point in marriage?”
"Finally, viewing submission through the decision-making lens makes submission too small. Christianity is about servanthood and living out God’s purposes in our daily lives. Shouldn’t submission be about that too—something we do daily, not just when we have decisions to make?
"In most marriage ceremonies, Genesis 2:24 is read aloud: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” God’s desire for us isn’t a tug-of-war relationship where one person gets his way; it’s for true oneness!
"And I think that submission—“putting ourselves under” our husbands and willingly pursuing our husband’s best—is the primary tool to attain this oneness. In humility, we think of his needs, his wants, his interests, his desires, before we think of our own. We pursue his best before we pursue our best.
“I think that’s a taller order than just “in the event of ties, he wins.” We don’t just defer to his decisions. We emotionally and physically invest in building him up and pursuing his best. And that sounds much more like the nature of the gospel to me. We serve. We love. We show grace. And our husbands serve us too, as they love us as Christ loved the church—even as they love their own bodies. That’s the recipe for unity, and it’s what Jesus really wants for us.”
That’s a very appealing message, and it shows the connection between love and submission.
