Yeah. I strongly recommend Dave Ramsey’s approach to couples who are having trouble agreeing about money–doing a monthly budget together, both spouses having a vote, agreeing on it, sticking to it, making sure that both spouses have “fun money.”
I said “can.”
Do you accept that your wife is a person, equal in dignity to you, and capable of independently using her reason?
You flatter yourself. Abraham was directly commanded by God - it’s not like he had much choice in the matter either.
As Carl Doss said, “That’s right, shove the responsibility for this one off on God.”
Of course. The question edges on nonsensical.Vonsalza:
Do you accept that your wife is a person, equal in dignity to you, and capable of independently using her reason?
Oh we can always rebel. Abraham against God, Sarah against her husband.Vonsalza:
You flatter yourself. Abraham was directly commanded by God - it’s not like he had much choice in the matter either.
Dave Ramsey would say that it’s both–neither spouse gets to just do their own thing with money, no matter who is earning money.
I meant that it’s really egotistical to equate anything you could demand of your wife with Abraham following an ordinance straight from the mouth of the Almighty.
Bear in mind that there are a couple single ladies on the thread.
C’est moi. I really don’t see what I could stand to gain.
Non sequitur.Vonsalza:
I meant that it’s really egotistical to equate anything you could demand of your wife with Abraham following an ordinance straight from the mouth of the Almighty.
I thought the exact same way as a single lady. Marriage just looked like a big pain in the neck because of all the expectations applied to it, most of which seemed to involve expecting the woman to act some particular way. I remember at age 16 being lectured by an optometrist (of all people) when I said if I married, I did not plan to take my husband’s name.
Why?
Well then why would you treat her as anything less than equal in the family decision making process?
Because husband has taken on the huge responsibility of providing for 8 people or whatever, and maybe he can’t afford a minivan with sliding doors. I would hope he discusses it with his wife and they mutually agree on something they both like, but if he’s paying for it, at the end of the day he gets more of the say.
I don’t, as a rule.Vonsalza:
Well then why would you treat her as anything less than equal in the family decision making process?
Wow! She’s got some pretty high standards for functionality. She didn’t go into details, so I’m not sure what she considers functional, but I guess I’m probably not it. My husband is a teacher who makes considerably less than $100,000 a year. We live in California, certainly not the cheapest place to live. We have six children, ranging in age from 15 to 2. The 15 year old and 13 year old are in school now, but they were home-schooled up until last year, when we made the decision to put them in school. The other four are still at home and I’m home schooling all but the two year old. The house is frequently a mess. I can’t remember the last time I deep cleaned anything except the bathrooms and kitchen, but I keep up on the laundry and everybody gets fed. I would certainly hire household help if I could afford it. I’ve had somebody come in to clean a couple of times and it is amazing. We do have family nearby, but except for emergencies, babysitting is usually on their terms, not ours. It is usually more trouble than it is worth to take the kids to my mom’s house, because I have to both drive them there and pick them up, which usually involves close to two hours of driving. These days, since we have teenagers, we can get out on a semi-regular basis. since we don’t have a lot of money, sometimes getting out means a walk together or grocery shopping. My husband is extremely helpful with the kids. He’s less helpful with the house, but will do anything I ask him to do. His big strength is that he can rally the kids to help in a way that I cannot. I tend to take it personally when people don’t see that I’m overwhelmed and step up to help on their own. I certainly do get overwhelmed. But overall, we’re very happy. 16 years ago, I left a professional job that I loved. I have not looked back. I love this life that we have chosen together and I know that we’re in it together. The struggles are not mine or his, they are ours. I guess I’m just bothered by the assertion in the article that a stay-at-home mom cannot be functional unless she has a small family and her husband makes more than $100,000 a year. That’s just ridiculous and shows a particular blindness to the everyday lives of people who do not have significant means. I don’t think it’s deliberate, I think the writer must be blissfully unaware that there are families with two working parents who make significantly less than that and are happy and functional.