If you try to tell this to any mother of any child who has done any horrible thing to estrange himself/himself, and explain that there is no relationship between them because the child is not acting in a truly loving way, she will assure you that her love is sufficient to justify the continued use of the word “relationship.” And if she’s in the right mood, she’ll smack you right across the face for the insult that you are trying to proclaim.
First of all, one can only go so far by analogue. One would also say that a mother would never allow their child to spend an eternity in Hell either, yet this is what will happen to the damned.
Secondly, while God does love us and continues to offer graces to us so that we may repent (one could say that there is some kind of relationship there because of this) this does not change the fact that our relationship, or at least the friendship that we have with God, is destroyed by mortal sin. That is to say that the life of God no longer exists in us when we commit a mortal sin. It is a world of difference, a heaven and hell difference, of a relationship. That to call someone in a state of mortal sin ‘in a relationship with God’ is to be dangerously misleading because it is the type of language that we use for those in a state of grace and obfuscates the danger of mortal sin to the potential readers of your post. Moreover, it is not even clear to me whether or not you believe that mortal sin actually destroys sanctifying grace in the soul. This makes it even more dangerous because the context does not make clear what you are saying.
The reason why this seemingly small point is so important is because there are quite literally millions of people in despair over the false image of God that has been drilled into their brains by supposedly well-meaning “clarifications” like the one you are relentlessly trying to offer. If you don’t believe me, go back and read the first post in this thread. People actually live like that every single day.
There are also people who live every day in a state of presumption as well - that is, presumption on the mercy of God (‘Oh, I don’t have to worry about this mortal sin, God won’t mind too much’ or ‘God will forgive me even though I’m not sorry and won’t repent’) which is ultimately a sin that leads to impenitence and damnation if it isn’t arrested. I am not saying despair is good either, despair is equally bad. However, if one is going to bother expressing themselves to attempt to solve the situation, then it should only be done with the truth and more importantly, with the truth clearly understood. Saying that mortal sin does not destroy our relationship with God sounds like you are saying that mortal sin does not destroy sanctifying grace in the soul (which would mean it isn’t a mortal sin). This is contrary to the constant teaching of the Church.
If the Church’s response is to throw a bunch of catechetical definitions or theology lessons at them, we are a complete failure.
That is true, and no one is suggesting doing that. In-fact, it is
you that we are attempting to correct in their understanding, not the OP. I have seen no one throw a litany of catechetical definitions at the OP. Rather our advice has been to repent and to get to confession, trust in the mercy of God, increase your prayer life and to keep trying etc. If anything, everyone here has been attempting to correct your understanding of a particular issue, or else get you to see that your expression of it is not in line with Church teaching.
Pope Francis has said as much and people have despised him for it,
As far as I know, Francis hasn’t said anything like what you have been saying (that mortal sin does not destroy our relationship with God - i.e. it does not destroy sanctifying grace - which whether you mean it like that or not is hard to tell from your posts, but that is what it will seem like to anyone reading your posts). But, even if Francis did say something about mortal sin not destroying our relationship with God, he could not mean it any differently from what the Church has taught throughout the ages. Even the Pope cannot change doctrine, because the truth cannot be changed.
