AnneElizabeth, I’ve thought that for years. A wedding is to celebrate the joining of two individuals to create an entirely new family. It’s not about the decorations or open bar or fancy table settings. People spend a ridiculous amount of time and money on a party, essentially, that lasts a few hours instead of investing that time and effort into preparation for the marriage–what follows the wedding is really what is important and ‘should’ be the couple’s main focus.
My brother lived with his girlfriend for years and when they were officially engaged I did my best to pretend to be happy. But year after year passed, and the girl wanted a huge party, open bar, a DJ, the works. She was so obsessed with showing off to and partying with her friends; I just couldn’t understand it. Well, of course the wedding never happened; my brother was in a terrible accident and had a severe traumatic brain injury after which she left and couldn’t (or didn’t want to) handle ‘real life’.
As for me, I did want a beautiful dress, which I found used in excellent condition, having only been worn once before. The rest: I couldn’t care less and was just fine using a He church I attended at the time, having the reception in the lower level of the church with simple food, using the church decorations, keeping bridesmaid dresses simple and inexpensive, and I didn’t care about the cake. During the six months of planning, my husband to be did most of the wedding planning as I suffered from debilitating headaches. Three weeks before the wedding I had a brain tumor removed and was diagnosed with a cancer disease and more tumors. By the time the wedding day arrived, I was happy to have my beloved daddy walk me down the aisle and join my life officially to my amazing husband and I honestly couldn’t get out of there fast enough! Nearly everyone, including the tough men in attendance, said they were crying the whole time and it was the most beautiful wedding they’d ever been to. Now, of course much of that was due to the fact I nearly died and had a horrible diagnosis, but also we were 99% focused on being married and 1% (if that!) focused on the wedding event itself. That was sixteen and a half years ago, and the event that had deepest meaning for both my husband and I was our convalidation around four years ago, after we became Catholic. My marriage has been the greatest blessing in my life.
Allll of this to say: I completely agree that cohabitation essentially destroys any joy a wedding would bring. And I won’t get started on the showers and parties and registries and gift expectations. Yikes. Both my husband and I had our own homes prior to getting married and while we didn’t have the best of everything, collectively had what we needed. People still gifted us with generosity and we received some beautiful (and some bizarre!) gifts as well as enough cash to buy a bedroom set. But we certainly had no expectations of getting anything.
If I remember correctly, she and Ed are unmarried, and I don’t know about Geddie. Regardless, even if I’m wrong on their status, it was still a terribly ugly thing to say. When you make gross and insulting generalizations like that, you never know who you’re talking about. In this case, she spit on the marriage of a fellow Catholic who converted after her wedding.