How to respond to a "lesbian friend"

  • Thread starter Thread starter KKendra
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
No I am saying to put your faith into action and actually love the person so much that they can’t mistake it for anything other than the beauty of catholicism.

Or you can call them what ever names you like to call people and see if it gets better results.

It is the result you are concerned with, isn’t it? If we know we are right it doesn’t reinforce our views if we shout them as opposed to whispering them so our friends have to lean toward us and find out we do really love the sinner.
Oh please. Your points would be well taken if posters on here were proposing to “call them what ever names you like to call people” or “shout” at them.

Why have you tossed out the alternative of gently telling them that they are loved by us, and that the Catholic Church loves them too, even though the actions are seen as sinful? This could open up a meaningful opportunity to witness to the truth, all without your supposed name-calling or shouting.
 
Oh please. Your points would be well taken if posters on here were proposing to “call them what ever names you like to call people” or “shout” at them.

Why have you tossed out the alternative of gently telling them that they are loved by us, and that the Catholic Church loves them too, even though the actions are seen as sinful? This could open up a meaningful opportunity to witness to the truth, all without your supposed name-calling or shouting.
You are right, your technique is likely to be successful in almost every instance. I’m sorry.

BTW what name or adjective are you going to use in your gentle discussion, maybe some official words like disordered or are you just going to be informal and tell them how the church hates the sin? I would like to know so that if I am ever in the position to witness, I may have the tools to do it gently.

Are you going to start off with the " I love you but,… " or maybe the I’m happy to hear you’re getting married , but…"

I can’t figure out how to make it work gently and still express the hate for the sin. Please give me a hand.

Thanks,

Peace
 
Baylee, I think you have no idea how distorted our society is. They may have heard the phrase “unnatural relations,” but they really are floored when I mention that sex and procreation should never be separated.

Think about it – even Catholic heterosexual couples don’t bat an eye about contraception. So do you think practicing homosexuals really know the LOGIC behind the phrase “unnatural”?
I’ll just add to this: most Catholics don’t know the Church’s teaching, and they know they don’t know it; and that’s partly why they often ignore it, or even if they don’t ignore it, they are unable to explain it to anyone else and are scared to try. And there is a good reason for this: it’s not particularly easy to get right! The counter-arguments seem so common-sensical (although really they’re just common) that people just don’t know what to say. It’s like people used to think the earth was the centre of the universe - it seemed so obvious! It was the kind of thing people had to examine carefully before they could understand the truth of the matter.
 
You are right, your technique is likely to be successful in almost every instance. I’m sorry.

BTW what name or adjective are you going to use in your gentle discussion, maybe some official words like disordered or are you just going to be informal and tell them how the church hates the sin? I would like to know so that if I am ever in the position to witness, I may have the tools to do it gently.

Are you going to start off with the " I love you but,… " or maybe the I’m happy to hear you’re getting married , but…"

I can’t figure out how to make it work gently and still express the hate for the sin. Please give me a hand.

Thanks,

Peace
God does not ask us to be successful, he asks us to be faithful.
-Mother Teresa of Calcutta

To answer your question, Porti, you ask questions, you invite the person to express their own negative views of the Church that you are part of. You try to create a safe-space for dialogue where they can get beyond their fear/guilt/hostility and genuinely ask questions and seek for a better understanding. You don’t try to correct the sin or convert the sinner (in a personal way), unless they specifically ask for that - you work on correcting their misunderstandings. You just try to remove stumbling blocks and leave the rest to God.

It seems to me that the problem here is that we don’t really think that we need the Gospel, that we need Jesus… and therefore, naturally, we don’t think others need it or Him either. We’re pretty luke-warm kind of folks, aren’t we?
 
God does not ask us to be successful, he asks us to be faithful.
-Mother Teresa of Calcutta

To answer your question, Porti, you ask questions, you invite the person to express their own negative views of the Church that you are part of. You try to create a safe-space for dialogue where they can get beyond their fear/guilt/hostility and genuinely ask questions and seek for a better understanding. You don’t try to correct the sin or convert the sinner (in a personal way), unless they specifically ask for that - you work on correcting their misunderstandings. You just try to remove stumbling blocks and leave the rest to God.

It seems to me that the problem here is that we don’t really think that we need the Gospel, that we need Jesus… and therefore, naturally, we don’t think others need it or Him either. We’re pretty luke-warm kind of folks, aren’t we?
Actually I think that the “hating the sin and loving the sinner” is very lukewarm as is the quote from Mother Therese. It is much harder to be both right and successful than to hold the correct views.

The gospel parables have the strange combination of being simple to understand , but almost are impossible to implement. Being successful in treating the least like they may be Jesus requires an almost inhuman ability to be aware of how every action or omission in our lives impacts others and by extension Jesus.

And that is why the quote about faithfulness falls well short of what Jesus taught. His message wasn’t about hypocrites that would be faithful and leave the donkey in the well , His message was about successfully feeding Him when He was hungry and getting that foolish donkey out of the well on the sabbath.

Its like what happened to those kids in Colorado who live with 2 lesbians, it is so much easier to kick them out of school to show whomever believes like the archbishop believes than to figure out how to treat the kids in a Christlike manner.

They were hungry for knowledge and that bishop taught them quite a bit. Imagine if they were Jesus in guise of those baptized kids.

Peace
 
Actually I think that the “hating the sin and loving the sinner” is very lukewarm as is the quote from Mother Therese. It is much harder to be both right and successful than to hold the correct views.
So in your view ‘lukewarmness’ somehow has a simple relationship of inverse correlation with ‘degree of difficulty’? That’s an odd view. Did you make it up yourself? 😃
The gospel parables have the strange combination of being simple to understand [is that so??], but almost are impossible to implement. Being successful in treating the least like they may be Jesus requires an almost inhuman ability to be aware of how every action or omission in our lives impacts others and by extension Jesus.
Oh, does it? I guess we should add that to the Catechism. 😉
And that is why the quote about faithfulness falls well short of what Jesus taught. His message wasn’t about hypocrites that would be faithful and leave the donkey in the well *[un, no, he actually said no one, presumably including hypocrites, would leave their donkey in the well]
, His message was about successfully feeding Him when He was hungry and getting that foolish donkey out of the well on the sabbath.
What the :confused:? Foolish donkey? As opposed to the wise donkey? This is apparently a new parable I haven’t heard of!
Its like what happened to those kids in Colorado who live with 2 lesbians, it is so much easier to kick them out of school to show …to show what? :confused:] whomever believes like the archbishop believes than to figure out how to treat the kids in a Christlike manner.
They were hungry for knowledge and that bishop taught them quite a bit. [Um, aren’t they like in kindergarten? Aren’t you totally missing the point and being a complete hypocrite to boot, throwing stones at the A-b like this? Or do you seriously claim to have the “almost inhuman ability to be aware of how every action or omission in [Archbishop Chaput’s life] impacts others and by extension Jesus”?] Imagine if they were Jesus in guise of those baptized kids.:confused: What are you talking about? Imagine those two kids were Jesus(es)? Sure, let’s send Jesus1 and Jesus2 to school where we will teach them that their lesbian care givers are objective causes of scandal to the Christian community, but that’s okay, because you are little Jesuses and we have the duty to educate you. :confused:]
So basically the message I’m getting from you is: anyone who disagrees with you is lukewarm, including Mother Teresa and Archbishop Chaput. We are supposed to treat everyone like they might be Jesus, whatever that means; and Jesus expects us to know all of the consequences of our actions and to be successful (we can’t just be faithful and trust in God to be the one with the real power).

I must say, with all due respect, I suspect Mother Teresa and the good Archbishop probably know a little more about both faithfulness and success than do you, whoever you happen to be.
 
EXACTLY. So the only thing that is guiding their actions is nature…they don’t have the intellect to go against instinct, yet they still have gay sex. This proves that homosexuality is natural or every animal that participates in it has great reason and understanding and uses intellect to choose to have gay sex.
Something that is “natural” is not neccesarily moral…nature is something that has to be taken control of… our bodies need to be disciplined. Take food & gluttony for example (people who are trying to lose weight understand what I mean)… it may be very natural for someone to just indulge in their favourite sweets,junk food etc but what are the consequences of that? Obesity, diabetes, heart problems etc. Thus in order to be healthy, I have to deny my body indulging/overeating (which is what it craves).
 
Something that is “natural” is not neccesarily moral…nature is something that has to be taken control of… our bodies need to be disciplined. Take food & gluttony for example (people who are trying to lose weight understand what I mean)… it may be very natural for someone to just indulge in their favourite sweets,junk food etc but what are the consequences of that? Obesity, diabetes, heart problems etc. Thus in order to be healthy, I have to deny my body indulging/overeating (which is what it craves).
So if the negative consequences of over indulgance of food are obesity, can you enlighten me on the negative concequences of homosexuality? Can you tell me what harm comes to a person when I have sex with my girlfriend?
 
So if the negative consequences of over indulgance of food are obesity, can you enlighten me on the negative concequences of homosexuality? Can you tell me what harm comes to a person when I have sex with my girlfriend?
You harm yourself and the other person first and foremost by offending God, who created you and who sent His son to die for your sins.
 
So if the negative consequences of over indulgance of food are obesity, can you enlighten me on the negative concequences of homosexuality? Can you tell me what harm comes to a person when I have sex with my girlfriend?
I “ditto” “kage ar” who just responded you, but also, and this goes above and beyond any religion or whether you believe in God or not, the harmful thing of indulging in an homosexual act is that it goes against your own nature, it goes against natural law. The same way having sex with your dog is unnatural, then also having sex with someone of your same sex is also unnatural. Just look at anatomy, and how complementary the human bodies were created (by whomever you believe created them).
 
So if the negative consequences of over indulgance of food are obesity, can you enlighten me on the negative concequences of homosexuality? Can you tell me what harm comes to a person when I have sex with my girlfriend?
It is harder to answer this question when posed by a woman. When men ask the question, the answer is that there are a myriad number of health issues that gay men have due to their relationships. So much so, that certain jurisdictions actually report on those unique health issues. They are doing things the body wasn’t meant to do.

For women, it does seem more benign. But this is a Catholic site, so the foremost objection is that you are denying who you are and how God made us. If we believe that marriage is a mirror of Christ and His Church, and we see the complementary of male and female and how new life is created, there is no logical reason for two women to have relations.

You are hurting yourself by denying what God intended.
 
You harm yourself and the other person first and foremost by offending God, who created you and who sent His son to die for your sins.
Ok, but since we are both Ateists, we have no imaginary friend to offend right?
the harmful thing of indulging in an homosexual act is that it goes against your own nature
Can you elaborate on this? Can you explain what, exactly, in nature it goes against? And if anything, whay that should cause harm and what exactly that harm is?
it goes against natural law.
Can you explain to me what, exactly, ‘natural law’ is? And can you claim to know everything about it? Can you claim that your knowledge of natural law is absolute enough for you to know that there is no possible way in which what I am doing is natural? Because to me and my girlfriend, it feels VERY natural.
The same way having sex with your dog is unnatural
The dog can’t consent to having sex. My girlfriend can.
Just look at anatomy, and how complementary the human bodies were created
So just cos Part A fits into Part B it means that anything else is “harmful”? My Girlfriend and I detest the thought of a “Part A” coming anywhere near us! To us, that is unnatural. How can you dictate to us what is natural and what is not, when to us, it is the most natural thing in the world?
 
Something that is “natural” is not neccesarily moral…nature is something that has to be taken control of… our bodies need to be disciplined. Take food & gluttony for example (people who are trying to lose weight understand what I mean)… it may be very natural for someone to just indulge in their favourite sweets,junk food etc but what are the consequences of that? Obesity, diabetes, heart problems etc. Thus in order to be healthy, I have to deny my body indulging/overeating (which is what it craves).
I didn’t say it was moral, I just said it was natural…The thing is that people are saying it is immoral because it is unnatural, which it is not.
 
Ok, but since we are both Ateists, we have no imaginary friend to offend right?
Is it your usual behaviour to insult people when you are a guest in their living room?

You are a guest here of practicing Catholics, common courtesy obliges you to apologize for insulting the faith of those Catholics who have paid for this forum.
 
Is it your usual behaviour to insult people when you are a guest in their living room?
You are a guest here of practicing Catholics, common courtesy obliges you to apologize for insulting the faith of those Catholics who have paid for this forum.
Yes, when they attack my lifestyle, call me immoral, a sinner, disgusting, harmful, unnatural, etc. and attack my fundemental rights then yes, I do tend to make the odd quip.
(The very fact that you take offence to that demonstrates that you are unsure about weather or not God exists!)
 
Yes, when they attack my lifestyle, call me immoral, a sinner, disgusting, harmful, unnatural, etc. and attack my fundemental rights then yes, I do tend to make the odd quip.
(The very fact that you take offence to that demonstrates that you are unsure about weather or not God exists!)
Perhaps you do not understand, this is a Catholic board. People here will tell you what the Church teaches.

Let’s see, if someone comes into your grandma’s house and calls her a horrible name, and you get offended, that still does not mean that she is the horrible thing.
 
Yes, when they attack my lifestyle, call me immoral, a sinner, disgusting, harmful, unnatural, etc. and attack my fundemental rights then yes, I do tend to make the odd quip.
(The very fact that you take offence to that demonstrates that you are unsure about weather or not God exists!)
You are on a Catholic forum. I don’t go on gay and lesbian forums and tell them that they are sinners.
 
So in your view ‘lukewarmness’ somehow has a simple relationship of inverse correlation with ‘degree of difficulty’? That’s an odd view. Did you make it up yourself? 😃

Oh, does it? I guess we should add that to the Catechism. 😉

What the :confused:? Foolish donkey? As opposed to the wise donkey? This is apparently a new parable I haven’t heard of!

So basically the message I’m getting from you is: anyone who disagrees with you is lukewarm, including Mother Teresa and Archbishop Chaput. We are supposed to treat everyone like they might be Jesus, whatever that means; and Jesus expects us to know all of the consequences of our actions and to be successful (we can’t just be faithful and trust in God to be the one with the real power).

I must say, with all due respect, I suspect Mother Teresa and the good Archbishop probably know a little more about both faithfulness and success than do you, whoever you happen to be.
Actually I disgaree with alot of people whom I find courageous.So your generalization is false.

Read Chaputs reasoning on his website. One of the reasons he is OK with the kids getting kicked out is that he didn’t want them offended by the church’s teaching on marriage and family values.

That is so much easier than making sure that the kids are taught in the manner that treats them like they may be the least in guise of Jesus while being true to the doctrine and dogma of the church.

Same with the comment by Mother T, it is easier to claim faith and not be actionable toward success. That is the concept behind lukewarm, neither hot nor cold. They didn’t hang Jesus on the cross because Jesus was lukewarm about what He taught.

I also sense that you feel that people are not entitled to have opinions formulated by their own review of the fact patterns and resultant individual reasoning. I also find it somewhat ironic that you believe holding people to a higher standard as evidenced by my comments about Chaput is somehow preferable to just making their pronouncements gospel. Chaputs comments are neither church doctrine or in concert with the way most dioceses handle the issue of non devout catholic children attending catholic schools.

We should trust Jesus , but we must also do what he taught. To sit back and just say we are saved because we believe him, is ,I believe a protestant concept, that is being saved by faith alone.I would suggest that is also a lukewarm concept.

Knowing all the consequences of our actions beforehand is what makes the implementation of Jesus’ teachings so difficult, but difficulty is not license for ignoring what Jesus taught. We are all sinners and as such are prone to imperfection, but that is not an excuse to be lazy about implementing what Jesus taught.

I realize that without publicized credentials you will not put any consideration into my post. I would suggest that perhaps you compare them to what Jesus taught and then compare the actions and pronouncements of what Chaput actually said and used as defense for his actions and see which has the most congruency with what Jesus taught, most specifically with treating the least like they may be him.

Peace
 
So in your view ‘lukewarmness’ somehow has a simple relationship of inverse correlation with ‘degree of difficulty’? That’s an odd view. Did you make it up yourself? 😃

Oh, does it? I guess we should add that to the Catechism. 😉

What the :confused:? Foolish donkey? As opposed to the wise donkey? This is apparently a new parable I haven’t heard of!

So basically the message I’m getting from you is: anyone who disagrees with you is lukewarm, including Mother Teresa and Archbishop Chaput. We are supposed to treat everyone like they might be Jesus, whatever that means; and Jesus expects us to know all of the consequences of our actions and to be successful (we can’t just be faithful and trust in God to be the one with the real power).

I must say, with all due respect, I suspect Mother Teresa and the good Archbishop probably know a little more about both faithfulness and success than do you, whoever you happen to be.
Actually I disgaree with alot of people whom I find courageous.So your generalization is false.

Read Chaputs reasoning on his website. One of the reasons he is OK with the kids getting kicked out is that he didn’t want them offended by the church’s teaching on marriage and family values.

That is so much easier than making sure that the kids are taught in the manner that treats them like they may be the least in guise of Jesus while being true to the doctrine and dogma of the church.

Same with the comment by Mother T, it is easier to claim faith and not be actionable toward success. That is the concept behind lukewarm, neither hot nor cold. They didn’t hang Jesus on the cross because Jesus was lukewarm about what He taught.

I also sense that you feel that people are entitled to have opinions formulated by their own review of the fact patterns and reasoning that is by an individual. I also find it somewhat ironic that you believe holding people to a higher standard as evidenced by my comments about Chaput is somehow preferable to just making their pronouncements gospel. Chaputs comments are neither church doctrine or in concert with the way most dioceses handle the issue of non devout catholic children attending catholic schools.

We should trust Jesus , but we must also do what he taught. To sit back and just say we are saved because we believe him, is ,I believe a protestant concept, that is being saved by faith alone.I would suggest that is also a lukewarm concept.

Knowing all the consequences of our actions beforehand is what makes the implementation of Jesus’ teachings so difficult, but difficulty is not license for ignoring what Jesus taught. We are all sinners and as such are prone to imperfection, but that is not an excuse to be lazy about implementing what Jesus taught.

I realize that without publicized credentials you will not put any consideration into my post. I would suggest that perhaps you compare them to what Jesus taught and then compare the actions and pronouncements of what Chaput actually said and used as defense for his actions and see which has the most congruency with what Jesus taught, most specifically with treating the least like they may be him.

Peace
 
I didn’t say it was moral, I just said it was natural…The thing is that people are saying it is immoral because it is unnatural, which it is not.
It think it is because there is a certain ambiguity to the word “natural”… 1)one could use the word “natural” to denote our fallen human nature after the original sin…i.e. that is subject to concupiscence( we have a tendency to lust, engage in perverse/disordered relationships etc)… or 2) one could use it to describe nature as it is intended/or as it ought to be (the natural law).

For example compare “Sexual Desire” and “Lust”, sexual desire is indeed “natural”(2nd definition) because without it there would be no procreation; lust on the other hand while being “natural” (1st definition) because of our fallen natures is “unnatural” (2nd definition) because God did not intend for human beings to lust after each other.

Its the same with homosexuality… it may be “natural” in the first sense for a man to be attracted to another man(or a woman to another woman) sexually because of our fallen human natures but very “unnatural” in the 2nd sense because God designed sex to be between a man & a woman (for both unitive & procreative purposes). Thats why the church calls homosexuality a “dis-order”(i.e. out of order or “unnatural” in the 2nd sense of the word).

**2357 **Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,140 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."141 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

That is also why the Church teaches that as Catholics we must help those who bear this cross

**2358 **The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

Yours in Christ,
Zachary
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top