Hubby wants to visit his Protestant church tomorrow

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Thank you everyone with your thoughtful replies.

I could have gone to Saturday evening Mass and attended with him on Sunday but he sprung this on me after 7:30 at night. The last Mass on Sat is in a neighboring town at 5pm. We live in a rural area and our Mass and the Protestant church both begin at 11:00 am and that’s the only Sunday Mass service our church offers. The neighboring town Mass is also at 11am. No it wouldn’t be a problem IF he had made his wishes known earlier.

I calmed down and went back to talk to him and I could see that he knew he overreacted. I explained calmly that putting aside if he agrees with this Catholic teaching or not, because he loves me and knows I’m a faithful devout Catholic he shouldn’t ask me to compromise my values and commit a mortal sin. He says so if you miss Mass on purpose and then u die before confession then you go to hell. Gulp. Yes, I believe that’s how it works but I also believe that God is merciful. He said that’s why I can’t become Catholic, because of rules like that. I said, Jesus said if we love him to keep His commandments and one of the commandments is keep the Sabbath Holy. Our public way of worship is attending Mass every week to receive Him in the Eucharist because we believe he IS completely in that bread and wine. We can only receive that Sacrament if we go to church, we can’t do it at home. The church is the bride of Jesus and she is committed to Jesus the groom, just like I’m committed to our marriage and we spend time together to foster a good healthy relationship. …crickets…
He says ok I love you and we’ve had our philosophical talk for the night. Our daughter bounces in the room and we begin having a cheerful conversation with her. 🙂

Thank you, Mark Hart The Bible Geek. 👍
 
journey00 said:
My husband thought it would be nice if tomorrow we visit his childhood bible church where he was baptized & attend with his father. I said you know the kids and I can’t do that, we have to attend Mass. He blows up & says that I always think that my church is better than everyone else’s & I’m mean to him :(🤷 :eek:

I thought we were past this after 3.5 yrs of returning to the Church, not him, just the kids and I.

How do I explain to him why it is obligatory for us to attend Mass, besides the fact that he knows that we WANT to attend Mass. He’s just going to say that it doesn’t say it in the Bible. Ugh. Of course, he gets nothing out of Mass and is bored.

Thanks
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Is your husband Catholic? If not Catholic, then he does NOT have to go to mass. He sets a strong example for the kids, however, by going.

There is also nothing sinful about occasionally visiting a Protestant service, especially for the benefit of some you care about. Rather than rebuff your husband’s request entirely, perhaps suggest a week where you schedule lets you attend the Saturday vigil mass, so that you are available to visit his church’s Sunday service.
 
FrStevenJones said:
Christ wants you back in the pews … please just come back, you won’t regret it!

Our laws require children to attend school, is that any good reason to hold a child back from education, simply because it is required?! It is required because it is important. The same with the Mass: God requires our attendance because this is how he saves, renews, sanctifies, and fulfills us … and prepares us for heaven!
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I would gladly come back, but I would be lying in confession to say I regret not attending Mass. I disagree with that requirement. I don’t think God is offended by me missing Mass.
 
Country_Gal said:
I would gladly come back, but I would be lying in confession to say I regret not attending Mass. I disagree with that requirement. I don’t think God is offended by me missing Mass.
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Emotional recoil does not have to precede confession of a sin. We do have to let go of the idea that we are the arbiters of moral law, but we don’t have to have such perfect contrition that we like it, nor do we have to fully understand why those things that are required or forbidden are that way. It is better to regret breaking the law because you see why it is the law, but it is only necessary that you regret breaking it because it was disobedient to have broken the law, because you, by act of will, decide that you will abide by what you are required to do by those whom God has set over you.

Who knows? Those who repent not because they see they have erred but because they choose to obey what those with authority over them require may be more praiseworthy than those who repent because they see what they did wrong and want to do what they see is right. There is a certain humility to it, so it is possible. 🤷
 
journey00 said:
How do I explain to him why it is obligatory for us to attend Mass, besides the fact that he knows that we WANT to attend Mass. He’s just going to say that it doesn’t say it in the Bible. Ugh. Of course, he gets nothing out of Mass and is bored.

Thanks
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go to the Saturday Mass or the early Sunday Mass and then go with your husband to his family’s service. You don’t have to take communion but you can pray in any church. And it will please your husband which will please God.
 
vsedriver said:
go to the Saturday Mass or the early Sunday Mass and then go with your husband to his family’s service. You don’t have to take communion but you can pray in any church. And it will please your husband which will please God.
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I wish I could but I can’t. The last Sat Mass was at 5:30 in neighboring town. Our conversation took place after 7:30 pm. My church has 1 Sunday Mass at 11am, the Protestant starts at 11am, and so does the neighboring church. I live in the country in a rural area.

Thanks
 
vsedriver said:
if you believe that Christ is truly present in the Eucharist you would rush to Mass every Sunday. I wish I could go every day.
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Exactly. It’s not “the topic” that would prevent someone from returning to the Church but rather pride.
 
FrStevenJones said:
The Catechism says that Catholics are obligated to attend, it is a grave sin to miss unless your are sick or it is impossible to attend. Show him this and let him read the words for himself. That way he’ll see this is not about you, but about what Christ requires of you!
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Yes I’d have said that!
Usually there is a Saturday evening mass which counts as fulfilling Sunday obligation as well.
 
Journey:
Sounds like a happy ending after all! Excellent.

Thank you for being such a loyal witness to our Catholic Faith!

Blessings and Peace this Father’s Day.

Mary.
 
Country_Gal said:
I would gladly come back, but I would be lying in confession to say I regret not attending Mass. I disagree with that requirement. I don’t think God is offended by me missing Mass.
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So, subjectively you don’t believe it.

Yet, objectively speaking, God truly IS offended if we intentionally miss our Sunday obligation! You can trust 2000 years of Christian Tradition on this! You can count on Christ’s teaching that “keeping the sabbath holy”, by attending Mass, is a grave obligation.

I know you would agree that you are not more knowledgeable than Jesus Christ about what God wants from us … so, please come back to Mass, because you want to, and God commands it!
 
My husband is not Catholic. He attends Mass with us weekly. On the weeks that he wants to attend a Protestant church (which he doesn’t ask to do often) I happily oblige and find another Mass time that works for myself and the kids and we do both. 52 weeks a year he goes to Mass with us and does not receive communion (which I’m sure is uncomfortable as people unfortunately DO stare) so if he asks to go to another church once in a while I compromise.

eta: I’m glad you both were able to work this out - maybe he can give you more advanced notice next time.
 
Country_Gal said:
I would gladly come back, but I would be lying in confession to say I regret not attending Mass. I disagree with that requirement. I don’t think God is offended by me missing Mass.
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God is broken-hearted that you are not attending Mass. You are leaving Jesus on the altar and staying away for what exactly? Because you just don’t want to have to go Mass? That’s some rationalization, right there.

I missed a lot of years of going to Mass. What I didn’t realize is that I was still a Catholic and my obligation to go to Mass had not changed one bit. I’m just so grateful that I didn’t die in that state! 😦 I still missed quite a few Masses once I had come back, especially when my husband and kids were on vacation, which we should have made a priority, but because my husband is still lapsed, I just didn’t want to insist. What a coward I was! 😦 I no longer miss Mass if there is any way I can help it. Even if I am not disposed to receive communion, I go.

I hope you can humble yourself, go to confession and return to Mass soon! I will pray for you.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
God is broken-hearted that you are not attending Mass. You are leaving Jesus on the altar and staying away for what exactly? Because you just don’t want to have to go Mass? That’s some rationalization, right there.

I missed a lot of years of going to Mass. What I didn’t realize is that I was still a Catholic and my obligation to go to Mass had not changed one bit. I’m just so grateful that I didn’t die in that state! 😦 I still missed quite a few Masses once I had come back, especially when my husband and kids were on vacation, which we should have made a priority, but because my husband is still lapsed, I just didn’t want to insist. What a coward I was! 😦 I no longer miss Mass if there is any way I can help it. Even if I am not disposed to receive communion, I go.

I hope you can humble yourself, go to confession and return to Mass soon! I will pray for you.
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This right here! I too missed regrettably a lot of years of going to Mass. Way too many. TRJ’s advice is the plain truth…*humble yourself, go to confession and return to Mass soon! * I’ll pray for you as well.

Peace, Mark
 
To the OP – could you speak with your husband and offer a compromise for the next time …say give him a time frame for the Saturday Mass if he wants you to go to his church in the Sunday Morning have him give you enough notice on Saturday afternoon in order to make your Sunday obligation for the Saturday evening Mass? Hope this makes sense and helps a little. Prayers:)
 
Didn’t Jesus say that the Sabbath was made for man not that Man was made for the Sabbath?

You REALLY believe that God would have sent you to Hell for missing Mass to honor your Husband and Father-in-Law on the one day a year set aside to do so? Especially if you were attending another service to worship and praise Him (no matter how imperfect and misguided)? How sad.

I also wonder why your reaction (as reported by you) when he broached the idea was so lacking in compassion? You couldn’t have said: “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry! If we had thought of it a couple of hours ago, we could have made the Saturday vigil. Lets do this; Lets plan to do it next week”?

Instead of “you know the kids and I can’t do that, we have to attend Mass” :(🤷

Do you REALLY think that’s how Jesus would have handled it?
 
BillP said:
Didn’t Jesus say that the Sabbath was made for man not that Man was made for the Sabbath?

You REALLY believe that God would have sent you to Hell for missing Mass to honor your Husband and Father-in-Law on the one day a year set aside to do so? Especially if you were attending another service to worship and praise Him (no matter how imperfect and misguided)? How sad.

I also wonder why your reaction (as reported by you) when he broached the idea was so lacking in compassion? You couldn’t have said: “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry! If we had thought of it a couple of hours ago, we could have made the Saturday vigil. Lets do this; Lets plan to do it next week”?

Instead of “you know the kids and I can’t do that, we have to attend Mass” :(🤷

Do you REALLY think that’s how Jesus would have handled it?
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We know exactly how Jesus handles this now, he tells us through His Church today. We know that we are not allowed to substitute a Protestant service for Catholic Mass. Yes, so we know, with 100% certainty, without any doubt or even a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus wants us, today and until the end of time, to attend Catholic Mass each and every Sunday.

Of course the Lord is also compassionate, all knowing, and perfectly just. So if a woman missed Catholic Mass because of pressure from her husband, she wouldn’t necessarily go to Hell for that. But it wouldn’t be what Jesus wanted, which is attendance at His Holy sacrifice, which is only found at Mass!
 
FrStevenJones said:
We know exactly how Jesus handles this now, he tells us through His Church today. We know that we are not allowed to substitute a Protestant service for Catholic Mass. Yes, so we know, with 100% certainty, without any doubt or even a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus wants us, today and until the end of time, to attend Catholic Mass each and every Sunday.

Of course the Lord is also compassionate, all knowing, and perfectly just. So if a woman missed Catholic Mass because of pressure from her husband, she wouldn’t necessarily go to Hell for that. But it wouldn’t be what Jesus wanted, which is attendance at His Holy sacrifice, which is only found at Mass!
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I suspect that the Pharisee’s made EXACTLY that same response before they went to upbraid Jesus for healing the sick on the Sabbath.

If you’re correct, then what exactly did Jesus MEAN when he said that about the proper relationship of Man to the Sabbath?

And the part about the OP’s compassionate response to the husband’s request? What about that?
 
I sometimes think about attending my former Anglican church, but their service overlaps with the 8.00am Mass and there’s too much going on that’s more important – NASCAR, the NFL, etc. just a matter of priorities.
 
BillP said:
Didn’t Jesus say that the Sabbath was made for man not that Man was made for the Sabbath?

You REALLY believe that God would have sent you to Hell for missing Mass to honor your Husband and Father-in-Law on the one day a year set aside to do so? Especially if you were attending another service to worship and praise Him (no matter how imperfect and misguided)? How sad.

I also wonder why your reaction (as reported by you) when he broached the idea was so lacking in compassion? You couldn’t have said: “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry! If we had thought of it a couple of hours ago, we could have made the Saturday vigil. Lets do this; Lets plan to do it next week”?

Instead of “you know the kids and I can’t do that, we have to attend Mass” :(🤷

Do you REALLY think that’s how Jesus would have handled it?
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👍👍
 
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