Husband desensitized to violence in movies

[Razanir]

I cried during the Passion of the Christ and I won’t say the torture was “easy” to watch, but I never needed to turn my head away either. This is probably fairly common among Christian men and I wouldn’t be disturbed that he wasn’t cringing as badly as you were.

I can attest to this. I’m a guy, and am actually a bit squeamish when it comes to violence. I saw the Passion recently, and yeah, it wasn’t easy to watch. But I still never needed to turn my head away, probably in part because it depicted, well, THE PASSION!

And even if I wasn’t too visibly affected while watching it, all of us were shell-shocked when it was over. It was probably a minute or two after turning off the TV before anyone spoke.

It may have to do with not identifying with the character. For example, if the character depicted was a loved one, would it not have elicited an emotional response either?

Also, the historical nature. As I pointed out, part of the cause of my reaction (being able to watch) was because it was the Passion. If it was some other movie with a guy being beaten that badly, you can bet I’d be finding something else to watch.

 

[Razanir]

Moreover, dear friend, exposure to even a little graphic violence and immorality will over time dull and blunt our spiritual sensitivities.

Portrait,

First off, long time no read. I’ll admit that as much as they can be annoying at times, I have, in fact, missed your sesquipedalian posts.

Now if you’ll allow me, I’d like to choose a movie and book series to discuss. Specifically, The Lord of the Rings. Some of the scenes are fairly violent. You have a hobbit getting his finger bitten off. You have a hobbit murdering his best friend in cold blood over a “birthday present”. You have a man threatening, not only to commit suicide by funeral pyre, but to even take his son with him. You have that same man sending his son on a suicide mission. There’s a scene in the movie where a misthrown knife could have cost an actor his life (True story. In the breaking of the fellowship, that’s Viggo Mortenson actually deflecting a knife for his actual life).

But at the same time, it’s one of the most Catholic movies I’ve seen. I’ve directly quoted the books in debate. Specifically, a quote by Galadriel (queen of the Elves, if you didn’t know) to describe the Sacraments. Or quite recently, a friend of mine posted on facebook a quote from the movies, that out of the context of the movie, could very well refer to the Second Coming. Or in what I consider the coolest example, there’s actually a quote that I could have sworn I knew from some song at church or perhaps even the Bible, and not from The Lord of the Rings. (“I will go… though I do not know the way”)

If you didn’t know, Tolkien was Catholic. And actually the type of Catholic to make a point of saying the responses in Latin a bit louder than necessary in the years after V2. (His eldest son even became a priest and said his funeral Mass, but now I’m getting distracted) And he let that shine through when writing The Lord of the Rings. Sure, there’s no mention at all of Jesus. Instead you hear a lot of talk about Eärendil (famous mariner) and Elbereth (roughly the Middle-Earth equivalent of Mary, except she’s the Middle-Earth equivalent of an angel). (Trivia fact, the creator god in Middle-Earth is Eru Ilúvatar, who may or may not have been incarnated as Tom Bombadil. NO ONE knows who or what Tom Bombadil is) But that Catholicism shines through in the characters’ actions.

I’m sure I’ve explained this all to you at some other point, so I’ll restrict myself to some of the more thought-provoking cases.

*Gandalf denounces the death penalty. (specifically in regards to Sméagol)
*Gollum still has some of his humanity (err… hobbitness) left in him, despite having succumbed almost entirely to the Ring (sin).
*Lembas (Elvish waybread) is like the Eucharist. It’s not very physically filling, but instead is spiritually filling. And I can personally attest to that fact about the Eucharist. On Ash Wednesday this year, it was the only thing I had to eat until about 2 in the afternoon.
**As an interesting side note, they even receive it in a scene that has parallels to the Last Supper.

Our objective, dear friend, is to cultivate an ever more intimate union with our Blessed Saviour and to enter the life everlasting.

So thus I agree with you on this point. Where we disagree, though, is the means. I say that beauty can still be found in (some) modern media.

*I’ve already thoroughly explained The Lord of the Rings.
*Narnia, as much as I dislike it, is still chock full of allegory.
*Stepping into fairly secular media, even creations like Buffy the Vampire Slayer have Christian symbolism. Ignoring the obvious of crosses repelling vampires, we also get scenes like Xander, a humble carpenter, saving the world from destruction by the power of love.

Or, finally turning back to what this thread was originally about, Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. Is it overly violent? Yes. Undeniably yes. But at the same time, he managed to harness the violence of modern media to create easily one of the truest depictions of the Passion. He did not step back from the gore, and instead portrayed Christ’s suffering in quite possibly the most brutal, in-your-face way that anyone has ever dared to. (And probably ever will)

So in the end, is it true that modern media can be excessively violent at times? Sure. But does that mean that it’s completely godless and devoid of meaning? Not necessarily.

 

[EasterJoy]

I think Mel Gibson made that movie as violent as he did precisely because he knew his fans were desensitized to depictions of violence that he himself and other actors like him (e.g., Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone) had done previously. Their characters endure unspeakable violence and yet end the movie waving at those leaving in ambulances. That set the bar unrealistically high in terms of the amount of violence his audiences believe that a normal “hero” can endure by mere force of will. He had painted himself in a corner, and had to depict the Passion as being far beyond what the “action characters” ever endured.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Your husband’s reaction to stylized depictions of violence and death doesn’t in itself mean he’s de-sensitized to the real-world death and violence.

How you react to your husband’s choices vis-a-vis which movies he watches as well as interpretations of of his emotional maturity and acumen and how these affect your marriage are probably best dealt with in a therapeutic setting and not the Internet.