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That’s not how it works.
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Which ones.And many post are here of no interest to the OP or very cruel to her!
Tis_Bearself
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I think what we are seeing in this thread, and one reason why I have refrained from posting in it much, is that every couple is different when it comes to how they run their sex life. I always made a point of never discussing ours with anyone but husband, because (a) it was private and (b) people are very judgmental if they think you are not having the correct amount of sex (too much or too little) or not having the correct amount of desire for sex (too much or too little) or expecting or not expecting sex at the times they think you should be. Each person projects their own habits and desire (or lack thereof) onto the sex life discussion. Invariably there will be people who have had issues in their own marriages over this and they will weigh in big time too. (I was fortunate and did not have issues.)
However, the only two people whose habits and desires actually matter are the two people in the marriage, who have to work out some kind of happy arrangement where nobody is going to be feeling frustrated, coerced, or generally negative.
OP, it’s not cool for your husband to guilt trip you, but he’s likely doing it because he is frustrated and doesn’t know how else to get that across to you. It sounds like you two are pretty close and committed but just having a bad patch of adjustment with fatigue from a baby. It happens. It’s an adjustment for husband too. One thing you said though is that his love language is “physical touch”. This may very well mean that the sex is important to him in a way beyond just bodily feelings, and since your love language is not “physical touch” you may not be thinking of it in the same way he is. If there is some way you can give him a “rain check” for special sexy time spent together the next night when you are not so tired, and make it happen in a special way, that might help. If he is super spontaneous maybe that won’t work but it’s also possible that planning something could make it more exciting. Just a thought and if you don’t like it, feel free to ignore. God bless.
However, the only two people whose habits and desires actually matter are the two people in the marriage, who have to work out some kind of happy arrangement where nobody is going to be feeling frustrated, coerced, or generally negative.
OP, it’s not cool for your husband to guilt trip you, but he’s likely doing it because he is frustrated and doesn’t know how else to get that across to you. It sounds like you two are pretty close and committed but just having a bad patch of adjustment with fatigue from a baby. It happens. It’s an adjustment for husband too. One thing you said though is that his love language is “physical touch”. This may very well mean that the sex is important to him in a way beyond just bodily feelings, and since your love language is not “physical touch” you may not be thinking of it in the same way he is. If there is some way you can give him a “rain check” for special sexy time spent together the next night when you are not so tired, and make it happen in a special way, that might help. If he is super spontaneous maybe that won’t work but it’s also possible that planning something could make it more exciting. Just a thought and if you don’t like it, feel free to ignore. God bless.
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