Husbands, have you ever had to tell your wife to dress more modestly? How did that go?

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I think you will find that this is not a conversation people have. I just can’t even think of anyone I know that would have had this sort of conversation in their marriage.

I’m sure it could happen, but it is so unlikely.

I can maybe see it happening if a person who is very secular has a religious awakening and becomes religious and their wife isn’t religious and maybe then the wife might see nothing wrong with booty shorts or whatever for herself or their daughters.

That’s a different kind of conversation, because when you don’t share religious values it becomes a more difficult circumstance. One that needs to be approached with love, respect, and open-mindedness.
 
1ke said:
Exhibit A: 1ke

!!!
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At some point some years ago, I realized a) I hadn’t set foot in a store and tried on clothes in about 5 years and b) all of my clothes were stretchy and mail-ordered.
 
I work from home. We live on a farm. My husband works on the farm. The only time we dress up is church (good jeans is dressing up) and I dress up when I travel for work. I had to buy some clothes recently for that.
 
Yes, and more husbands post on here complaining about that than ever have posted about their wife wearing hoochie-mamma outfits.
 
1ke said:
It’s referred to as “letting yourself go”.
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Or “trying to spend the same amount of money on five people that you used to spend on your clothes.”

I should do something about this when we have the money, but in the meantime, it’s not really even an option.

I’m very modest, though!
 
Xantippe said:
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1ke:
It’s referred to as “letting yourself go”.
Click to expand...
Or “trying to spend the same amount of money on five people that you used to spend on your clothes.”

I should do something about this when we have the money, but in the meantime, it’s not really even an option.

I’m very modest, though!
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YES!

It’s not easy living on a budget, and sometimes you don’t realize the slide until it’s really bad.

My husband brought this up the other day

“Honey your undies look kinda sad”

“Oh, I guess they are”

" That’s fine, I’ll order you some…I got undies a few months ago on Amazon—I can’t find an order for yours"

Me thinking, “oh, that’s probably because the last time I got them was like right after college”

Him–“I think we’ve found the problem”

Honestly, though, I don’t ever have time to focus on my undies. When I do the laundry I’m doing it quickly. When I dress, I’m doing it quickly. I don’t look at my undies–like…ever.
 
Getting “frumpy” is part of realizing there’s more important things in life than clothes. And yes, it happens naturally as you get older and more important things start becoming part of your life.
 
Guess that is an agree to disagree. Good grooming, presenting oneself as put together, eating well, exercise, is part of caring for our temple.

When your house gets old, one would be a bad steward to say “it is old, no matter about keeping it painted and in good repair.”

People can maintain their appearance and also take care of the more important things in life, it is not a zero sum game.
 
Frumpy does not mean bad grooming, not being put together well, not eating well, etc.

Frumpy means that we aren’t wearing the peekaboo shoulder tops because even the most toned upper arms on older women start to bag, wrinkle, etc. So we wear covered shoulders which to current fashion standards are ‘frumpy’.

It means that we are groomed with hair that is cared for, skin care/ makeup that suits our lifestyle, coloring, protection needs etc. even if it isn’t the latest from Sephora, ELF, Urban Decay etc.

Frumpy to my daughters a few years ago meant not being ‘in the height of current style’ no matter what the style was. As they have aged into the 30s they still care about what they wear, they keep up with some trends that happen to suit their individual needs, physique, work demands, but they aren’t following every fad. What looks ‘classic’ on them in their 30s would probably be deemed ‘frumpy’ on me in my 60s simply because I AM in my 60s; women over a certain age are simply invisible for the most part, accepted if by a combination of lucky genes and big bucks they can ‘appear’ younger than the ‘no-longer-youthful-enough-looking’, derided if they are ‘trying’ to appear younger but ‘failing’ the attempt, and shunned if, heaven forbid, they are both poor and ‘ugly’. (And don’t think that men aren’t judged either, it’s just that they are less conditioned by society to ‘care’ that they are being shunned, mocked, judged, or ignored).
 
Frumpy in my usage means dowdy. There is no reason to be dowdy.

Fashion is the exact opposite of fads.

Seems we have different meanings. I plan to go to my grave putting my best foot forward every day.
 
Either you are building a strawman or you’re using an entirely different definition of the word “frumpy” than any I’ve ever heard. I’ve never heard “frumpy” being used as a synonym for poor hygiene or obesity. “Frumpy” usually refers to clothing that is perceived as not stylish, inexpensive, ill-fitting, or too casual for the occasion.
 
I hope you don’t genuinely think that your “best foot” has anything to do with what you are wearing or not wearing.
 
Women who are recovering from childbirth, getting their “sea legs” under them as new moms, heck I can remember when my son was two weeks old thinking “am I always going to smell so bad?” because every time I showered he puked on me again.

He stopped puking, I was able to get back to my normal grooming routine.

Yes, some moms have special or high needs kids and do not sleep or shower regularly for years. The hard cases do not prove that women who care about their personal grooming are somehow ignoring the important things in life.
 
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