i am here looking for a good catholic husband

[bekalc]

I agree with you - although I do hate to say it IMO there seems to be an innocent victim and a perpetrator when a Catholic marriage falls apart. It seems when a couple that cares enough to get married in the Church they don’t just walk out for “irreconcilable” differences. I however will not say it is always the man or always the woman. Usually it is the one that forgot about God -the third entity in the marriage. But this is all my opinion and possibly a bit jaded from watching thread after thread of he/she cheated, he/she abused me,and seeing it in the real world. Thanks for keeping it real Rusty.

Whoa, I think we need to refrain from making judgments in any situation. Don’t get me wrong as Catholics we need to call on couples to follow the teachings of the Church. But we should never assume its just “one party at fault.” Even in the case of adultry we don’t know what was going on prior to the affair, which may have lead to the spouse seeking someone else. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no excuse for adultry but still.

I’m kind of speaking a little bit from experience. Members of my “immediate family got divorce” and they were Christians, all of their friends blamed the man because he left, and the woman says there was cheating. The man now wants nothing to do with God for decades. Don’t know everything that went down in that marriage, but I do know having lived with the woman all my life, that there’s a side of her personality, that can be extremely difficult to deal with. None of us can know what is going on in a marriage, and so we as Christians need to pray for the people involved and not take sides.

 

[Reservoir_Dog]

Thanks. That’s actually one of the greatest compliments you can give me, and I say that in all seriousness and humility.

I was pretty offended by it, but my sister said it best-“Rascal (she of course used my real name), your not even close to that. So why let it bother you?”

Smart girl, she is!

no, he’s one of those mis miss misso things.

 

[joandarc2008]

Whoa, I think we need to refrain from making judgments in any situation. Don’t get me wrong as Catholics we need to call on couples to follow the teachings of the Church. But we should never assume its just “one party at fault.” Even in the case of adultry we don’t know what was going on prior to the affair, which may have lead to the spouse seeking someone else. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no excuse for adultry but still.

I’m kind of speaking a little bit from experience. Members of my “immediate family got divorce” and they were Christians, all of their friends blamed the man because he left, and the woman says there was cheating. The man now wants nothing to do with God for decades. Don’t know everything that went down in that marriage, but I do know having lived with the woman all my life, that there’s a side of her personality, that can be extremely difficult to deal with. None of us can know what is going on in a marriage, and so we as Christians need to pray for the people involved and not take sides.

That is a good point. And don’t get me wrong - I am not saying we should stop loving either person - we are called to do so but I am just saying generally speaking if two people are both focused on God then they will be less likely to fall away from the marriage vows. If one or both is not then one or both is more likely to fall into sin that will disrupt the natural and/or Sacramental course of the marriage. Does that sound better.

 

[onmyknees]

Really? Yes. I’m sure there are dozens of people that could prove that wrong. And I’m sure there are thousands of people in the real world (not just us internet people) that can prove me right, thank you. Look at the stats on getting married early and divorce rates.

You are clearly the exception to the rule.

Well I guess my dh and I are the exception to the rule these days but back when our parents were young they were definitely in the majority.

My parents and all of their couple friends married young. They had many hardships to deal with too. Like some husbands leaving for the war and then returning to continue their schooling. The moms all stayed at home and had six to ten kids. They had to make many sacrifices early on and so they did not become spoiled with lots of stuff. There wasn’t birth control when they started out so they used the rhythm method which was more sacrifice. They were so happy as I remember. Get togethers with all the families were a blast. We knew of only one couple in our parish who got a divorce. And it was a scandal. These couples now in their 80’s are all still married( for 60 plus years) or widowed today. I think that their generation truly believed that marriage is a solemn vow to God and your spouse and they took this commitment very seriously.
My dh and I told each other that we would be together forever no matter what when we married at 18 and we have kept that promise. We renew this promise to each other often.
No, it is not always easy but didn’t we say for better or worse?