I am not a good Catholic

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Since I have been back to the Church (six weeks), I feel guilty all the time. I sin almost constantly, not just sin, but Mortal sins. It is freaking me out.
I slip and say the Lords name in vain…MORTAL SIN
I masturbate…MORTAL SIN
I look at a woman’s attributes and…think…another MORTAL SIN.
I turn down sex…but think how nice it would be to…Another MORTAL SIN.

I am really trying, but it seems like I live in sin.

How does a single guy do this? It seems I need to go to confession daily. What am I going to do?

I look at our priests when I go to Mass, and have the highest respect for them. Committing their lives to Jesus and the Church. The temptations of this world are almost unbearable, at least for me they are.

Sure could use some advice on my spirituality, its killing me. I want so bad to be a good Catholic, but it seems almost impossible. I pray and pray and pray to our Mother Mary, Jesus, the Saints, but still screw up.
 
One step at a time. One Hail Mary at a time, One Confession at a time.
 
I will pray for your strength in persevering no matter how hard. Ask God to help you avoid the near occassions of sin… places and things that might cause you to think or do what is wrong.

The Rosary and deep one on one prayer with your Heavenly Father will help you. Think how sin hurts Jesus so much, and how He died such a horrible death for You. He is worth it. Our life is short here, but life after we die is forever.

Blessings
 
outfctrl said:
It seems I need to go to confession daily. What am I going to do?
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Then do that. Go every single day if you need to.

This is one of my favorite quotes, it’s from a little devotional book I carry when I go to Confession:

*“Satan loves sin and hates the grace of Confession that comes to us through the power of the cross of Christ. The devil will try to stop you from going to Confession. He will make you feel frightened, embarrassed, proud, filled with despair or anger. The holy Bishop, Saint Antoninus said, “The devil takes our shame away so that we sin with ease and then gives it back when we think about going to confession.” In other words the suppression of shame that makes sin possible, flares up again to make Confession seem impossible.”

*Every time I read this, it gives me the motivation to walk into that confessional, no matter what I may have to say once I’m in there. I hope it helps you too.

~Liza
 
Pray, confess, go to Mass and don’t forget Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
 
We’re ALL bad Catholics.

If you can, go to Mass everyday. Confession is amazing for when you’ve already committed the sin, but in terms of getting grace not to do it again, Mass is the best way to go.

JD
 
outfctrl said:
Since I have been back to the Church (six weeks), I feel guilty all the time. I sin almost constantly, not just sin, but Mortal sins. It is freaking me out.
I slip and say the Lords name in vain…MORTAL SIN
I masturbate…MORTAL SIN
I look at a woman’s attributes and…think…another MORTAL SIN.
I turn down sex…but think how nice it would be to…Another MORTAL SIN.

I am really trying, but it seems like I live in sin.

How does a single guy do this? It seems I need to go to confession daily. What am I going to do?

I look at our priests when I go to Mass, and have the highest respect for them. Committing their lives to Jesus and the Church. The temptations of this world are almost unbearable, at least for me they are.

Sure could use some advice on my spirituality, its killing me. I want so bad to be a good Catholic, but it seems almost impossible. I pray and pray and pray to our Mother Mary, Jesus, the Saints, but still screw up.
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It sounds as if you have a sexual addiction. In addition to prayer, see a psychiatrist.
 
Dude, we are in the same boat on that one. The most challenging sin to combat, for me, is sexual desires. I agree, it feels almost impossible, but here’s the trick. Set a goal for yourself, try to go a few days without masturbating. Go as long as you can until you just break. Once you do that, set another goal a few days longer, and repeat. It takes 16 days to make or break a habit, usually. If you can last 3 weeks without doing anything like that, you can be assured that this habit (which is all that it is) will be gone with. And you are going to fail, I fail, everyone fails. If we were all “good” Catholics, then Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on the cross. The most important thing is to keep fighting, and never fall into despair. Despair is the worst thing we can do in the eyes of God because we basically tell him that there is nothing he can do for us. Even if you break, go to the next appointment for Confession with the idea of “I can do this, Jesus will fight for me.” For help with seeing other women, just keep this in mind. Jesus is in every single person, He created us, and He is in everyone, Christian or not. Everytime you see a well endowed woman, immediately think of Jesus as being in her, and try to re-focus to something else. Like the 16 day habit thing, eventually this will be second nature. Sorry for the long post, but your thread resonated with me on more than one level, and I just wanted to let you know my personal ways of fighting the good fight, and to let you know that you aren’t alone. Good luck 👍 .
 
It is better for one to recognize he is not a good Catholic than to say he is a good Catholic but does not follow what Catholic is teaching.

What I wanted to say is that at some point of our life, we are sinners, we commit mortal sins. What helps us out of sinful life is by praying and do not give up on praying. We should continue to allow God to change us.

For us to change ourselves is impossible. We, human being, are very weak. What helps us change is the grace of God. Come to Him and keep knocking on His door.

He’s changed you at the moment you posted this thread. Otherwise, you might have not recognized your own sins.

Saint Monica prayed for her son St. Augustine for very long time. Look at how he had become, from a very sinful man to one of the most holy saints.

Going to confession and mass as often as you can. Focusing on His Great Mercy and Passion. You will find hope and peace in Him.
 
pharmacistUH said:
Dude, we are in the same boat on that one. The most challenging sin to combat, for me, is sexual desires. I agree, it feels almost impossible, but here’s the trick. Set a goal for yourself, try to go a few days without masturbating. QUOTE]

I went 5 weeks and was climbing the walls
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Chastity is difficult. It’s as simple as that. Formally when we rode with the current of worldliness, we didn’t know the hold sin had on us. We even thought we were free in our sin. It’s when we repent and struggle against the current of worldliness and sin that we discover the power of sin’s attraction and it’s hold on us. Believe it or not, your struggle against temptation is a good sign. It’s an essential step toward renewal and holiness. The straight and narrow path toward God requires suffering because we are conforming our will by the grace of God to the Divine will. It’s a dying to self by surrendering self-will with its deceitful desires for God’s will. That process will be sacrificial and painful. However, in the long run, we only find true happiness by surrendering ourselves to God and thereby becoming what God created us to be; saints.
 
outfctrl said:
I turn down sex…but think how nice it would be to…Another MORTAL SIN.
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Resisting a temptation to commit a sin is not a mortal sin. It is not a a venial sin. Resisting a temptation, especially something we really want to do, is not a sin at all. Resisting a temptation is a sign that we love God and that God’s grace is working in us.
 
with girls wearing almost next to nothing during this time of the year, and even sometimes wearing next to nothing in mass (which is weird having the host in your mouth and thinking “good Lord” at seeing one of those girls), it is hard not to admire the beauty of the female body. for me though, saying a prayer in my head stops the dirty thoughts from coming in. imagine the females as the mother of God. hard to think lustful thoughts about the Blessed Virgin Mary! pray for the graces to stop your sins. a lot of sins i use to struggle with have all stopped this year, actually since the tuesday before Ash Wednesday and i know that it is all because of God. so yeah… trust God, and avoid what leads you to sin, pray and go to confession anyway. confession and the Holy Eucharist is what i live for. dedicate yourself to it. it might help out.
 
I can say with confidence that only in daily prayer and fasting can a person break a habit that causes one to sin. I have tried to break the cycle of mastubation on my own but i always seemed to fail every time. But then i began to prayer every day, i fasted and asked God to break this habit for me,

ALLELUIA, that old habit is dead and it doesn’t take a grip on me anymore,
however temptation is always their but that is easily overcome.

Try to abstain from any erotic movies, pornograpghy, or even form going to places where people dress immodestly.

Remember what Jesus said, “if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away” or ,“If your eye causes you to sin, cut it out and throw it away.”
 
Sure could use some advice on my spirituality, its killing me. I want so bad to be a good Catholic, but it seems almost impossible. I pray and pray and pray to our Mother Mary, Jesus, the Saints, but still screw up.>>>>>

Outfctrl,
We all screw up, please do not feel like you’re alone on this journey. We all have our vices we have to contend with. You’ve been given a lot of good advice on this board. I’d like to suggest that maybe you should carry something (a rosary, crucifix, etc) with you at all times so you have a “reminder” with you for when times get difficult. :gopray:

My husband dreads when summer comes along (he has staring/lusts problems too). Like someone posted earlier, the way girls dress today is scary- to say the least.
Here’s one piece of advice I gave him. We have a 10 year old daughter. She’s a bit young for this scenario, but really not too far from it. (Although I promise she will not dress the way I see teenagers dressing today).
So anyway I said how would you feel if you noticed some guy looking at your daughter the way you look at these girls???:bigyikes:
It’s helped him somewhat.

My husband is not Catholic, but he asked me to pray a rosary for him b/c of his weakness, & I will add you too.

Be strong!!!
 
Since I have been back to the Church (six weeks), I feel guilty all the time. I sin almost constantly, not just sin, but Mortal sins. It is freaking me out.
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Heaven’s, just six weeks! I don’t think any of us here were able to climb out of the pit of sin in a mere 6 weeks!
I slip and say the Lords name in vain…MORTAL SIN
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I had this problem as well. I have a Jersey girl trucker’s mouth. I had to really pray to the Holy Spirit that He would “pinch” me every time I slipped with the Lord’s name. After about 6 months, I became so sensitive to hearing it out of other people’s mouths, that it would actually cut like a knife. Once this realization hit (thanks, HS!), it was easy to break this habit. Now I am trying to train my kids to stop it as well!
I masturbate…MORTAL SIN
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Yes, this is a tough one. I “used” two saints to help me combat this temptation: St. Augustine (a notorious hedonist) and St. Joseph (a brilliant illustration of purity). I also wore a medal of St. Margaret, patroness of sexual temptation. Put together a “team” of Saints who had trouble with sexual temptation and call on them when you need help!
I look at a woman’s attributes and…think…another MORTAL SIN
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It depends on WHAT you are thinking. If you’re “appreciating” a woman’s beauty, I don’t think that’s a sin at all. If you are veering off into impure fantasy - call on your team!
I turn down sex…but think how nice it would be to…Another MORTAL SIN.
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Nothing wrong with thinking how “nice it would be”. Only you know if your thinking is pure or impure.
How does a single guy do this? It seems I need to go to confession daily. What am I going to do?
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Keep going! I went to Confession constantly when I first came back home. After time, the graces will begin to bear fruit.
I look at our priests when I go to Mass, and have the highest respect for them. Committing their lives to Jesus and the Church.
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Well, I am sure they didn’t achieve such virtue in a mere 6 weeks!

God bless you for your honesty and perseverence! You’ll be fine if you keep doing what you’re doing!
 
First, thank you for being so honest in your struggles. I wish more women understood how hard it is for guys when everywhere they turn women are dressing immodestly. Perhaps you should make an appointment with a priest. Find one you can relate to and set aside some time to discuss how to get through. Our priests live in the same world we do so they should have some good strategies for coping with sexual temptation.

Also, start studying what the Church teaches about the beauty and holiness of sexual relations between married couples. Perhaps if you re-orient your views to what sexual relations were designed by God to be, you will see it as so much more than a physical/sensual act - and it will be easier to put aside for now.

Conquering the struggles you are having will help you to have the spiritual strength to be a faithful husband and father. Remember that everything is possible with God. It will get easier.

By the way, the fact that you are working on your sins makes you a good Catholic. God does not expect perfection, just progress!
 
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