I am so furious right now

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KCT said:
So is the dog still in your house? ----KCT
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Yup. :mad:

It’s the same scenario every day …DH tells his brother to get the dog out tomorrow, he says he’ll tell sil to do something with the dog…next day comes and she sleeps all day and nothing gets done. She has no intention of taking action and bil won’t get his head out of the sand and do it himself. I’m really getting to a point where I’m ready to pack my kids up and go to my mom’s. :mad:
 
I am sorry to say so but it looks like the two men have not been raised to act as men and they leave the problem to the women. It is time to call their mommy and let her know that her two boys need some growing up.
 
masondoggy said:
Yup. :mad:

It’s the same scenario every day …DH tells his brother to get the dog out tomorrow, he says he’ll tell sil to do something with the dog…next day comes and she sleeps all day and nothing gets done. She has no intention of taking action and bil won’t get his head out of the sand and do it himself. I’m really getting to a point where I’m ready to pack my kids up and go to my mom’s. :mad:
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I can only imagine the stress you are under right now. You were kind and generous to take them in and, depression or not, your kindness has been terribly abused.

It is, indeed, time for a family meeting. You MUST insist that the bil and sil both sit down and listen to you. You’ve had great suggestions about the Schnauzer rescue (the idea about a short term “doggie foster care” may be the best bet, given the situation.) However, the primary thing is forcing your bil to grasp the fact that his wife is seriously depressed (who wouldn’t be, given the financial circumstances they are in?) and that something must be done about it. There are clinics available if they are currently without insurance, but she needs care, and bil needs to face reality here. Nothing good can possibly happen until this scary issue is addressed.

Family counseling is also in order. They need a plan to get on their own feet and under their own roof as soon as humanly possible. It is not fair that this burden has fallen on you to the point that you are considering leaving your own home! Enough lip service has been paid by your husband and bil; it is past time for action, and addressing the depression, plus counseling, is the place to go from here.

Know that you are all in my prayers.
 
masondoggy said:
Yup. :mad:

It’s the same scenario every day …DH tells his brother to get the dog out tomorrow, he says he’ll tell sil to do something with the dog…next day comes and she sleeps all day and nothing gets done. She has no intention of taking action and bil won’t get his head out of the sand and do it himself. I’m really getting to a point where I’m ready to pack my kids up and go to my mom’s. :mad:
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If BIL and SIL wont do anything YOU and you DH do it for them.
 
What happened at the family meeting around the dining table? Do they know you mean business?
 
dixieagle said:
It is, indeed, time for a family meeting. You MUST insist that the bil and sil both sit down and listen to you. You’ve had great suggestions about the Schnauzer rescue (the idea about a short term “doggie foster care” may be the best bet, given the situation.) However, the primary thing is forcing your bil to grasp the fact that his wife is seriously depressed (who wouldn’t be, given the financial circumstances they are in?) and that something must be done about it.
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This is a good point.

It seems like we can operate under the assumption that your SIL is literally unable to take proper care of the dog, due to her mental state.

If you called the Schnauzer rescue immediately and told them of your plight, they might intervene quickly. Their foster care arrangement could help you convince your SIL that the dog needs to go into “foster care” until she sorts out her life.
 
As condescending as this may sound to them, you really have to treat them like children (after all, they are acting like children) and tell them what the consequences of their actions will be. So far, it appears (unless I’ve missed something) that you have said something like: “The dog has to go. You need to remove him by tomorrow.” The problem is that they haven’t made good on that promise, and you haven’t made any consequences. So as far as they’re concerned, the dog doesn’t have to go. They just have to listen to you complain and make a few empty promises to buy time until you give up.

What you should say to them is this: “The dog has to go. You need to remove him by tomorrow. At 3:00pm tomorrow, if the dog has not been removed, I will be calling the pound/removing him myself/etc.” This way, you have provided them with a consequence, so that they know that you mean business. And if they choose to still not do anything with the dog, then your removing it yourself won’t be a surprise - they will have seen it coming and they can’t say they weren’t warned or given the opportunity to avoid it.

I also recommend deciding with your dh ahead of time what sort of stipulations you’ll put on your limit. Like if they tell you that they called the dog rescue and are waiting for a call back, is that good enough (I’d say no). Or if they called and said they found a dog sitter who’d be picking it up in 2 days, would that be good enough (I might say ok, but I might want to speak to the sitter myself, and stipulate that if that person didn’t come by the time stated, you’d go back to your original plan and remove dog yourself). Just be prepared that like children, they very well may argue and try to pull all the tricks in the book to make you confused about the “grey area.” So it will be good to be prepared ahead of time for it.
 
i so sincerely hope your kids are out of harms way, sil is making appointments for therapy, hubby and bil found that conflict has brought them closer and that bil has been offered an amazing job with room and board as part of the pay package.
and that all of this trial has brought you all closer to The Lord.

if not, how are things going?
 
Nothing has changed. I’m seriously considering packing the kids up tomorrow and going to my moms. I just don’t know what else to do. I don’t see DH taking firm action until he realizes his family is gone. 😦
 
Mason dear, I agree with Monicad. People who are truely close and loving of each other do not disregard a loved one in this manner. Enough is enough. You dh is being taken advantage of or would rather you be the bad guy - I don’t know and at this point I wouldn’t care either. Bottom line is the pet has to go.
**It is unacceptable for you to even contemplate that you have to leave your husband over someone else’s dog.:mad: :eek: **
**Open the front door and toss the little biting rat out. (I’d take it to the pound, but I wouldn’t tell them that.) If they want to go looking for it when they come home, that’s fine, but it isn’t comming back in. Invite the in-laws to not let the door hit them in the bum if they can’t comprehend why you don’t want it in YOUR home around YOUR kids. They will either find another abode or learn to live without the dog. They’ve had plenty of time and occassion to remedy the situation and it is now at an end point. **
And yes, you sure as heck CAN kick them out of your home. They are grown adults. If they need your home that bad, they will do without the dog. If not, well then they are old enough to learn to make do without you if they want to do things their way in a house. And it sounds like company have far over stayed their welcome when a wife feels she has to leave her husband.
**This is just getting ridiculous. Give them the boot if they can’t see reason and respect, but most certainly kick the dog out. If for no other reason than if it does bite someone again, your homeowner’s insurance most likely won’t cover it, but you and your dh as the property owners could be sued blind. Esp if it gets out that you knew the dog was a danger. **
**It’s a shame your dh isn’t stepping up to the plate on this and you have to be the bad guy here, but such is life and this needs doing and sometimes mama bears have to get mean to protect their cubs in their own den.👍 **
 
masondoggy said:
Nothing has changed. I’m seriously considering packing the kids up tomorrow and going to my moms. I just don’t know what else to do. I don’t see DH taking firm action until he realizes his family is gone. 😦
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I think that this is not a good move. I do not see too much sense in making such a stand with your husband now. It appears that you and your husband at least have communication issues and you need to solve them. I think that it is really a bad idea to leave the house just to force your husband to act, it is extremely bad for the children too.

If it were my house and family I would just call animal control to come and get rid of the dog (that will probably limit your legal liability, but I am not a lawyer so I might be wrong) and if people create more problems call the police.

If you leave the house you are showing that you are ready to renounce your rights as a wife, mother, and homeowner. Do what is right and avoid melodramatic scenes.
 
I’m not leaving DH and I’m not trying to cause melodrama. I’m doing what I feel I need to do to protect my kids by getting them out of harms way until something is done about the dog. No, I shouldn’t have to do that. But I have two choices right now, I can either rip the dog out of sil’s hands myself or get the kids out of here so they are safe.

Taking the dog to the pound myself is not a reasonable option. Not only will it be impossible to get the dog by sil without a huge confrontation (she literally locks herself in her room ALL DAY with the dog), but I have Jacob all day so that would mean the dog would have to ride in the van with Jacob and I’d have to carry him into the pound while handling Jacob. I’m not about to put Jacob in harms way by doing that.

I really do not want to do this. I am horrified and angry that it has come to this point. But I feel that it is negligent on my part to keep my kids in this house right now. Tomorrow is their last day of school before Christmas break, which means they will be here all day with my nephew going in and out of the bedroom and the chances of something happening are too good. I’m not taking that chance.
 
Has this dog threatened your child again?
Growling, lip lifting, bristling, anything?
I don’t have children, but if it were me, and you want to try to work it out with IL’s, the next time this dog so much as breathed at my child wrong, I’d call animal control.
Tell them the history, and the most recent event, and have them remove the dog. Someone has to do something, it is your child that is danger, so, IMO, DH’s approval or not, the dog would be gone.
I’m so sorry you feel you need to leave your own home over this, have you told your DH this? I’m sorry, but sometimes, actions speak louder than words, and it’s time YOUR family came first.
Prayers for you all!
 
How horrible so close to Christmas, but this would be unacceptable at any time. I support your choice to take your child out of danger, masondoggy. You have to protect him first. I hope your DH wakes up and acts like a man who values his wife’s love and his child’s safety over avoiding conflict with his family members. 😦 I feel so bad for you! You’re in my prayers…
 
Well my dearest Masondoggy… I am up for a road trip to help you out… I only live in IL… It could be fun… we could do lunch… then I could sneak that bratty doggy under my full length leather trench and walk out the door… if he bites me… I bite back… I could always bring my pitbull for back up… So lunch Masondoggy?
 
masondoggy - I am praying for you. You sound so upset and stressed out…but dear, you have got to do what’s in your heart and as a mama bear, you’ve got to protect your children. When I get in situations like this, I think…what if? what if that dog does bite one of your children, in the face, scars him/her for life! I have a friend who had her lip ripped off as a child…I don’t tolerate dogs that are like this.

I’m sorry to say, that if it were me, I would look at DH, sil, bil and say…“If that dang dog hurts one of my kids, I’m killing it…so you better get it out of here if you don’t want a dead dog.”

And dear, I would kill that dog if it hurt one of my children.

I know that there are a lot of dog lovers out there, but you have given these folks time to do something, time to think about something…now I’m worried for you, if something were to happen you would beat yourself up forever over it…you would be guilty for not having been insistant…

I’m sorry…again, I’m praying for you. Peace…
 
I know exactly how you feel about the dog. I just went through this recently. The only thing is it was my dog, so I didn’t have the added stress. I am so much happier now that the dog is out of my house. I cant even tell you how grateful I was to give birth here without that beast making my life miserable. Someone here said it wasn’t about the dog, and while it’s true that it’s not ALL about the dog, it will be much more peaceful in your home without it there. Boy oh BOY do I know that is the truth!!

Mason go bang on her door and tell her “get the dog, it’s gone now. I am at the point of leaving my own home to get away from it. But it is MY HOME, so I have decided that no – you have to do something. Out!”

Sometimes confrontations are necessary. This is one of those times. Once the dog is gone, you can then go back into charitable mode and help the SIL and get her out of the house.

You know, you could have the dog fostered until they get their own home. Call any recsue near you and tell them your in-laws situation. They could probably find someone today! That way you aren’t completely the villain and they know they’ll get their dog back.
 
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