I can't feel Gods Love for me

[mhansen]

E.E.N.S.:

Okay, Mike, you said:
The first question I gave you a list of how people have “misplaced efforts” to try and ease suffering (you and I agree on the list I gave not really being of “true” help.
To the second question I would pose that people have a misguided view of love (as when a person trys to help another physically when it costs them ultimately spiritually.)
To the third I would place in the same category and the second.

As for your post being “garbage” if you re-read it you will see that your [false] attacks on my [false] lack of works of charity holds no ground - essentially you built up a straw man, and twisted the intent of my words.

I hope that answers your questions.

And I would appreciate it if you do not build up any more straw men.

Thank you for clarifying.

On the other hand, your “straw man” is built up around the notion that my love, compassion, charity is misplaced in that I condoned an act that, in fact, I did not. I’m still waiting for quotes.

You know what? Forget the quotes. I’m not going to turn this into a “he said, she said” debate. Thank God my resolve for helping people hasn’t been lost despite the best efforts of this forum.

Mike

 

[mhansen]

fix,

Thank you for your quote, but as others here have so kindly pointed out, I’m not Catholic. Therefore, I do not agree with Catholic teaching on many theological issues. The interpretation of those passages as defining “mortal” and “venial” sin is one of them.

Mike

 

[E.E.N.S]

Things that I read and had issues with:

mhansen:

I believe it is this unhealthy guilt, and the resultant fear associated with it that is the underlying cause of most, if not all, of your “problems.”.

Why do you believe this? Do you know him personally? Wouldn’t our fallen nature be the main cause of our tendancy towards sin? Guilt can be a good thing, we should be driven in part by our conscience.

mhansen:

You’re being a lot harder on yourself than God is…

Oh, is this so? God takes sin seriously, very seriously, as seen all throughout the Bible and history.

mhansen:

God didn’t put us on this earth to torture us. Everything that does torture us comes from within - from our own minds. Please, lighten up on yourself a LOT and open yourself up to God’s love.

You are right, God didn’t put us here to torture us, but he does allow suffering - especially if it will bring people closer to Him…take Job for example, did all that “torture” come from his own mind?

 

[NFPfamily]

mhansen:

Another member of the “Selective Reading Club”, I see. Where did I pretend anything wasn’t there? Site specifics, not what you THINK you saw.

By the way, nobody, not even you in all of your “Catholic-ness” can definitively say this man is committing a mortal sin. Going by the definitions the Church has given, it would appear that he may very well not be, since he has a habit/addiction. If you’re going to insist on “truth”, you must first know it.

Mike

Hey there friend- ease up a little! Yes, I am in the book club and am slacking profusely in keeping up with the reading- but what does that have to do with anything here? Why must you attack my personal character (in all my Catholicness)? I was just referring to your previous post about not being so caught up in the words mortal sin…that you wished it wasn’t a phrase, etc. I apologize if I misunderstood what you were saying- I was just giving my opinion that it is important to recognize it as mortal sin, because that in itself creates distance from God. And about understanding and knowing the Truth? I do to the best of my ability, but I am always growing in my knowledge and will never stop. I don’t know what chip you have on your shoulder about Catholicism, but I wish you the best my friend! I think we’re all trying to get to the same place, so a little charity may serve you well!

 

[E.E.N.S]

mhansen:

On the other hand, your “straw man” is built up around the notion that my love, compassion, charity is misplaced in that I condoned an act that, in fact, I did not. I’m still waiting for quotes.

You may not have explicitly or directly condoned it, but your attitude seemed to say “don’t worry about it,” when in fact you might not condone it at all, which if that is the case, then my advise to you would be to be more careful of how you word things.

God does in fact take sin very seriously.

 

[mhansen]

E.E.N.S.:

You may not have explicitly or directly condoned it, but your attitude seemed to say “don’t worry about it,” when in fact you might not condone it at all, which if that is the case, then my advise to you would be to be more careful of how you word things.

God does in fact take sin very seriously.

Then it appears to be a misunderstanding on both sides. I apologize if I said something to offend you, or didn’t come across as clear as I could have.

Mike

 

[mhansen]

NFPfamily:

Hey there friend- ease up a little! Yes, I am in the book club and am slacking profusely in keeping up with the reading- but what does that have to do with anything here? Why must you attack my personal character (in all my Catholicness)? I was just referring to your previous post about not being so caught up in the words mortal sin…that you wished it wasn’t a phrase, etc. I apologize if I misunderstood what you were saying- I was just giving my opinion that it is important to recognize it as mortal sin, because that in itself creates distance from God. And about understanding and knowing the Truth? I do to the best of my ability, but I am always growing in my knowledge and will never stop. I don’t know what chip you have on your shoulder about Catholicism, but I wish you the best my friend! I think we’re all trying to get to the same place, so a little charity may serve you well!

I wasn’t referring to your Book Club at all! I meant you were selectively reading my posts. It wasn’t until after I posted it that I actually saw you were in the Book Club. And here you go spilling your guts about slacking on your book reading! :tsktsk:

Your suggestion about “a little charity” may in fact serve us all well. Some posters read into my posts something that wasn’t there, and as a result, my efforts to help OP turned into an ugly debate which really wasn’t necessary.

It was a misunderstanding all the way around. I apologize. I’ll leave this thread alone, and you can help out your fellow Catholic. I won’t “overstep” my bounds on this forum again. I’ll strictly refrain from helping anyone who is Catholic.

Peace,
Mike

 

[NFPfamily]

mhansen:

I wasn’t referring to your Book Club at all! I meant you were selectively reading my posts. It wasn’t until after I posted it that I actually saw you were in the Book Club. And here you go spilling your guts about slacking on your book reading!

Your suggestion about “a little charity” may in fact serve us all well. Some posters read into my posts something that wasn’t there, and as a result, my efforts to help OP turned into an ugly debate which really wasn’t necessary.

It was a misunderstanding all the way around. I apologize. I’ll leave this thread alone, and you can help out your fellow Catholic. I won’t “overstep” my bounds on this forum again. I’ll strictly refrain from helping anyone who is Catholic.

Peace,
Mike

LOL! Oh well, now you all know my dirty little secret!

I don’t want any tense feelings here. I think you have some very good things to say- it’s only when you identify yourself as a former Catholic and some here get a little defensive . Coming into a Catholic forum and asking for advice is more than likely requesting advice in accordance with the Church. So, anything that hints of being contradictory to that get some of us in a tizzy I hope you don’t shy away from offering sound advice to those who need it- just don’t be surprised if some of it comes under fire when it sounds like you aren’t being supportive of the Catholic church. That’s all- I’d better leave it at that. My lips are getting tired from all that whistling!

 

[lovethetruth]

Shameless:

I am a recovering sex addict (self-abuse), this “condition” has been afflicting me for 18+ years. I am married (9 years w/kids) my wife knows about my “condition”, the problem is I don’t feel God’s love for me. I know he loves me but nothing is going right for me. I’m selfish, impatient, mean, moody, etc. I have health problems, anxiety, depression so I usually always feel bad and tired I get irritaed very easy. I can’t seem to change much, I can’t STAY inspired. I hear a good uplifting show on EWTN radio or TV and I’m inspired, then I fall again within days. Last night I went to Eucharistic Adoration, stayed longer than an hour, then today I fell and masturbated, how can that happen? I can’t afford a shrink, can’t afford medication, have no friens, my co-workers don’t care for me, I’m hurting my wife by doing this, I can’t seem to stop. I pray daily, more than once to help me stop this - and I continue to sin. Why won’t God listen to me?, I thought he loved me, if he is showing me how to overcome this, I ain’t gettin it.
I have made progress last year at this time I “fell” 72 times this year it’s 28, but once is too many times. God help me!! Please.
It hurts, I don’t want to go to hell.

Well, I would direct you to this little booklet where your question is answered and well it can’t hurt to check it out if you are interested. Bascially it says you cannot “feel” that God loves you and therefore you cannot believe God loves you unless someone has given you this gift of “unconditional love” or “Affirmation” by someone who is in fact “affirmed” themselves. The book is called Born Only Once, by a catholic psychiatrist Dr. Conrad Baars and his daughter Suzanne Baars comes on Living His Life Abundantly with Johnnette Benkovic a lot explaining this. website is www.conradbaars.com

 

[Shameless]

Magicsilence:

Why do you want help shameless?

I think its important to identify the reason behind the plea for help before presuming a remedy.

In Christ.

Andre.

Because, it’s killing me, and I don’t want to go to hell.

 

[Shameless]

WOW, this got kinda out of hand, sorry everyone! Any advice on stopping self abuse would be great, Thank you all and God bless you all!

 

[NFPfamily]

This is a sin that is hard to let go of because you enjoy this sin. You have to learn to love God more than you love the sin. Just take each day and commit yourself to not doing it, no matter what it takes- keep yourself busy. I think the more you focus on not doing it, the more you are going to think about it, so make your plan of attack ahead of time…*when the thought enters my head, I’ll go for a walk,*etc. Do something that prohibits you from making it available. And pray pray pray. God bless.

 

[Mijoy2]

NFPfamily:

This is a sin that is hard to let go of because you enjoy this sin. You have to learn to love God more than you love the sin. Just take each day and commit yourself to not doing it, no matter what it takes- keep yourself busy. I think the more you focus on not doing it, the more you are going to think about it, so make your plan of attack ahead of time…*when the thought enters my head, I’ll go for a walk,*etc. Do something that prohibits you from making it available. And pray pray pray. God bless.

Excellent advice. I think for a great many this sin is a habit. It is a habit aquired when (or before) it was believed by the person to be sinful. Once found to be sinful the habit is near impossible to break. Much like a person who has smoked for many years only to find out it will kill you (not so much these days but 15 or so years ago when smoking was widely accepted). Or that glass of wine or few beers before dinner, the chocolate chip cookies after dinner. We learn to associate certain times of the day, or certain opportunities (being alone) with certain outlets, or certain escapes, or certain forms of relaxation.

The advice I can give is to break the habit like one breaks any bad habit. Lessen the opportunities, distract oneself, don’t put oneself in the position to be tempted (avoid certain TV programs, books, magazines, etc.). As the awareness reduces the constant nagginf desire reduces.

Oh yeah, and of course…pray! Pray for help and strength.

 

[Catholic_Logger]

St. Francis of Assisi used to run naked outside in the snow and throw himself into a rosebush whenever he was tempted against chastity. He did this becuase, to quote another poster, he “loved God more than the sin”.

Often, I think to myself, “If St. Francis was willing to go to these lengths for love of God, than why not me?”

When I am tempted against chastity, I can’t exactly run outside naked and throw myself in the bushes, but I CAN go on a vigourous run, or do pushups until my arms can’t stand it any more, or force myself into the car and drive to church, or lift weights until I max out, or…

CL

 

[fix]

mhansen:

fix,

Thank you for your quote, but as others here have so kindly pointed out, I’m not Catholic. Therefore, I do not agree with Catholic teaching on many theological issues. The interpretation of those passages as defining “mortal” and “venial” sin is one of them.

Mike

I know, but truth is truth and there is only one truth.

 

[Magicsilence]

Shameless:

Because, it’s killing me, and I don’t want to go to hell.

In light of this, i think that it is necessary to change the way you are looking at things.

You see, you want to be saying

“Because its killing me, and I detest offending God”

Instead of feeling that you cant feel Gods love, give Him a little love, and see what he sends back.

The problem with the “I dont want to go to hell” mentality is that it encourages a “Do whatever you can but stay out of hell” idea.

Those who love God, detest sin. Once you realise this it will begin to become easier and easier to stop sinning.

Remember, the sin is no less grave if you commit it in the mind.

You will never stop commiting this sin until you learn to crush the bodies desires.

I recommend reading the Imitation Of Christ. I believe you can read it online. There are some good parts which would help you, which ill have a look for and post links to them later.

Remember, God can only knock at the door of your heart, YOU have to let Him in.

In Christ.

Andre.

p.s Summary = Realise that when you find a union with God you will detest all sin.