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PeterC
Guest
I don’t understand your comment. And it’s not a question of which part of not do you not understand?
Did I offend you? I am sorry. Please explain what not my brother did not.
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Did I offend you? I am sorry. Please explain what not my brother did not.
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mark_a
Guest
Just curious- would this work?
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Catholic4aReasn
Guest
Hi Therese!
- It surprises me that he won’t do this for YOU. Marriage is about helping each other get to heaven. Out of love for you one would hope he’d be willing to do anything, even revisit a previous marriage.
- It’s not the amount of time one is married that makes it valid in the eyes of God. It’s freely entering into a lifetime commitment unimpeded. In the eyes of God your husband already freely entered into a lifetime commitment unimpeded. It’s that previous commitement that impedes his union with you. Perhaps there WAS an impediment in the first union that rendered it invalid from the beginning. That’s what the annulment process will try to discover. One can only be validly married ONCE. Nothing but death severs that spiritual tie forged by God; not divorce, not adultery, not boredom. Nothing.
God bless you in this difficult time.
In Christ,
Nancy
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vatoco6
Guest
I am touched that people are still posting here. Some, as usual, are kinder than others.
Since my last post,
Therese
Since my last post,
- I have found a woman with a parish that will help me with the annullment as well as with my issues surrounding the Church. This woman knows the priest who hurt me so badly, as he was a seminarian at her parish.
- I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder for what I’ve been through in the past 15 months, of which the episode with the priest and the Church was no small part, but was still only one issue. I have also been told by several people who have heard the whole story that what happened to me at the hands of this priest was NOT my fault.
- I do tend to be somewhat codependent, so I’d make a lousy friend for “renee” (who doesn’t really seem interested in my feelings anyway), and, following up on that thought,
- I came here for support and advice, not knowing that as in life, everyone on these forums would not be supportive. But I appreciate those who have been supportive.
Therese
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mercygate
Guest
PeterC, you wrote in response to my earlier message about feeding on the Bread of Desire:
I responded, “Not I, my brother” to your last sentence --meaning that it is the Lord who heals. If a word of mine has been instrumental, then I thank him for it. You are on a wonderful voyage!
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PeterC
Guest
During the night last night I was thinking about your response and all of a sudden “I got it!”. I was going to reply back to you …“I get it”. When “I got it” my thought was "of course! as I struck my forehead while uttering Duh!.
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FranL
Guest
Dear Therese,
I don’t have time to read all the responces to you post so I am probably repeating some information that others have given you. Please forgive me.
You can receive the sacraments of Eucharist and confession if you and your husband forego sleeping together.
I know that sounds like a bit much but the fact is that until the issue of your husbands first marriage is resolved, and possibly longer if the findings are that his first marriage is valid, your present marriage is not valid and your problem is that by sleeping together you are in an ongoing state of sin by adultery. That is why you cannot receive communion.
In order to free yourself from this condition you must first stop committing the sin. That is, stop sleeping with your would be husband. Move to separate rooms.
Second, you must make a good confession that includes the confession of this sin and receive absolution.
From that point on, as long as you abstain from sex and until the situation is resolved, you are free to receive the sacraments.
Your salvation is in jepardy if this situation is continuing.
If your husband sees how important your faith is to you and if he is truly concerned with your welfare, the added pressure of abstinance might be enough for him to get moving on an anulment.
I hope this has already been worked out satisfactorily and that my advise is moot by now. If not, I hope it helps.
God bless,
I don’t have time to read all the responces to you post so I am probably repeating some information that others have given you. Please forgive me.
You can receive the sacraments of Eucharist and confession if you and your husband forego sleeping together.
I know that sounds like a bit much but the fact is that until the issue of your husbands first marriage is resolved, and possibly longer if the findings are that his first marriage is valid, your present marriage is not valid and your problem is that by sleeping together you are in an ongoing state of sin by adultery. That is why you cannot receive communion.
In order to free yourself from this condition you must first stop committing the sin. That is, stop sleeping with your would be husband. Move to separate rooms.
Second, you must make a good confession that includes the confession of this sin and receive absolution.
From that point on, as long as you abstain from sex and until the situation is resolved, you are free to receive the sacraments.
Your salvation is in jepardy if this situation is continuing.
If your husband sees how important your faith is to you and if he is truly concerned with your welfare, the added pressure of abstinance might be enough for him to get moving on an anulment.
I hope this has already been worked out satisfactorily and that my advise is moot by now. If not, I hope it helps.
God bless,
- FranL
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Black_Jaque
Guest
I don’t believe that your archbishop would present waiting until your husband dies as “the only option”.
First, assume that the first marriage is valid, until proven otherwise. That means you and your husband do not live as “husband and wife”. Get ready to accept this as it is possible that an anullment will not be granted and this life as brother and sister may become a permanent reality.
Second, you could consider seeking a declaration of nullity for your current marriage. From the evidence I’ve read, this is the one that appears invalid, since there was a “lien” on the groom.
Either of these will likely infuriate your current spouse. Possibly he may take action when he witnesses your sincerity.
In order to receive the Eucharist you need to go to confession. In order for confession to be valid you need a firm purpose of amendment. If you are not willing to amend the mistake made 21 years ago - you can’t receive the sacraments anyway.
First, assume that the first marriage is valid, until proven otherwise. That means you and your husband do not live as “husband and wife”. Get ready to accept this as it is possible that an anullment will not be granted and this life as brother and sister may become a permanent reality.
Second, you could consider seeking a declaration of nullity for your current marriage. From the evidence I’ve read, this is the one that appears invalid, since there was a “lien” on the groom.
Either of these will likely infuriate your current spouse. Possibly he may take action when he witnesses your sincerity.
In order to receive the Eucharist you need to go to confession. In order for confession to be valid you need a firm purpose of amendment. If you are not willing to amend the mistake made 21 years ago - you can’t receive the sacraments anyway.
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