I did something wrong

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AdamP88 said:
The sin is still forgiven if the information is never shared.
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I think it is better to tell your spouse as soon as possible that you have been unfaithful to the marriage. And to explain how that situation arose.
What if the question comes up later on about fidelity to marriage. Is the unfaithful spouse supposed to lie and say he (or she) has always been faithful to the marriage?
I thought that it would be a mortal sin to lie about a serious matter?
Another question is whether or not it is true that in marriage, two people are supposed to become one? How can they become one if there are serious secrets being withheld?
 
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Yes we need to pray for the graces needed to overcome sin. But many respected and experienced exorcists state that when we sin we establish a relationship of sorts with Satan. We give him certain legal rights over us. Satan and the demons are ridiculously legalistic according to exorcists. When we sin we establish almost a kind of contract with the powers of darkness as we have stepped out from under the authority of God by virtue of our disobedience. Such contracts need to be broken hence why exorcists are clear that those who are possessed must first renounce any allegiance to sin, Satan, the occult, new age or what have you. Many healing masses, and I have been at them, begin with a long prayer of renunciation. This prayer is led by the priest with the congregation joining in. The priest at this mass is a diocesan appointed exorcist. He knows what he is doing. Any contracts entered into wittingly or unwittingly need to be broken. The priests prayers, with those of the lay person/ penitent are the means to break the contract. Please read up on this. It is not contrary to orthodox catholic teaching. It is what Catholic exorcists practice.

Soul ties are real. Father Ripperger states that if one has sexual relations outside of the legitimate marriage bond then one literally is burdened with the sins of ones illicit sexual partner as well as all the sins of those others she or he may have also had sexual relations with. This is one reason why exorcists say that demonic possession is increasing in our society of massive sexual sin. It creates a kind of spiritual toxic soup. Please read up on this and learn about it. Again it is entirely in keeping with orthodox catholic teaching.
 
Demons can attach themselves to people due to their sins. Sin attracts them. Some exorcists are of the opinion that just as God assigns each of us with a guardian Angel, Satan also assigns each person a demon. I’m on the fence about this and feel it doesn’t really matter as when we sin, particularly if it is grave or habitual sin, demons notice this and come our way in any case.
 
That’s my last post on this topic as it is not my intention or desire to dwell on this topic as it is not prudent or healthy spiritually. We should be aware of such things but not dwell on them, always focusing on Christ. Also, all this information is easily found on the internet. It’s not hocus pocus or new age or contrary to Catholic teaching. It’s just most Catholics don’t know it. Even many priests.
 
The guilt from this event threatens to rip me apart. It was a one night thing. And the woman basically admitted that she took advantage of me. The roller coaster ride of emotions has sucked the life out of me. I’ve actually prayed for God to take my life. I feel like I deserve every amount of pain coming my way.

I haven’t confessed for a couple reasons. My kids. I don’t want to destroy their lives. And the second is this woman was very specific to never tell anyone or use her name. I believe in an effort to save herself would claim I assaulted her. She said it I told it would “ruin my career”

So no it’s not just an easy confess type thing. I don’t know if I can go on like this. I blame myself for being deceived. I love my family more than anything. And I want to be happy again, but I feel like I don’t deserve to ever be happy again. I feel completely broken. And I see no end in sight and I don’t see a way to ever fix it.
 
anon68864946 said:
Is there no man on the planet that can love his wife so much that no other female could ever tempt him again???
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No.

Well, depends on how you understand “tempt.”

But if you mean “is there no man on this planet that can love his wife so much that he will never again look at another woman and think she’s hot/sexy/beautiful/whatever,” the answer is no.

But for most men, would they cheat on their wives with that woman? No.
 
whomever is teaching you these things is making things up.

This is no where, anywhere, in the teaching of Holy Mother Church. If the Church actually DID teach these things, I would leave it tomorrow and never look back.

We sin, we confess, God forgives us and that is it. Sins are gone and forgotten. We then do our acts of penance to relieve our temporal punishment.
 
stpiosson said:
Such contracts need to be broken hence why exorcists are clear that those who are possessed must first renounce any allegiance to sin, Satan, the occult, new age or what have you. Many healing masses, and I have been at them, begin with a long prayer of renunciation. This prayer is led by the priest with the congregation joining in. The priest at this mass is a diocesan appointed exorcist. He knows what he is doing. Any contracts entered into wittingly or unwittingly need to be broken. The priests prayers, with those of the lay person/ penitent are the means to break the contract. Please read up on this. It is not contrary to orthodox catholic teaching. It is what Catholic exorcists practice.
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Yeah, that may be the case, but in general confession is sufficien to break the bonds of sin and allow a person to receive the grace to persist.
stpiosson said:
Soul ties are real. Father Ripperger states that if one has sexual relations outside of the legitimate marriage bond then one literally is burdened with the sins of ones illicit sexual partner as well as all the sins of those others she or he may have also had sexual relations with.
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Sorry. This is nonsense. Entirely made up. The Church doesn’t teach this at all.

I challenge you to find me one Church document that talks about this phenomenon.
 
AdamP88 said:
Yeah, that may be the case, but in general confession is sufficien to break the bonds of sin and allow a person to receive the grace to persist.
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And prior to Confession, when you are baptized all of the sin that you were “born with” is completely wiped away.
 
I was once “casually” involved in this type of stuff (these healing ministries) and from my little experience it is more prevalent in Evangelical type of Churches.
The would pray “over the person” and say spirit of this or that leave the person!
Eg:“spirit of lust,in the name of Jesus be removed from this person”.
Then they would move on to praying the next “spirit of…” be removed and so on…

In my opinion it’s causes confusion and is a distraction from truth.

I have never seen anyone truly healed or “set free” from these types of meetings/prayer ministries although susceptible people may have reported the removal of “lesser” conditions such as back pain.

There’s a biblical basis for demons and demons in general tempting people but I don’t see any biblical basis for these “spirit atttachments”.

It makes more sense to me that that the reason why some people might feel “pulled” to do the same sins over and over is not because of these “spirit attachments” but rather more due to mental illness factors and/or traumatic upbringings.
In addition,not everything is known in modern medicine regarding the biological functions of the body.
For example some people might struggle with repeat sexual type sins and little is known/studied in medical school regarding sexual (mal) function probably due to the embarrassment surrounding it.
So it’s perfectly plausible that they could be a physiological issue with these people e.g. they could have excessive “sexual sensation” that over rides the will centre of the brain.
This might be caused by changes in the brain due to very traumatic upbringing,sexual abuse as a child,or factors such as inflammation at the prudential nerve level etc.

Sometimes I do wonder,although this is just my personal thought and not Catholic Church teaching,whether some very rare people do have some sort of spirit but I’m referring to extremely rare instances and often these people are interested in “very dark” sexual practices or activities like unofficial exorcisms/spirit hunting as some of these rare individuals have a very obvious “darkness” about them.
I could be totally wrong though and maybe the “darkness” is just caused by some sort of abuse.
 
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May I recommend a book? It’s called “First, kill all the marriage counselors”. The author writes it from s Christian view, and gives you the straight scoop on relationships, and how most marriage counselors hurt More than they help. I have found it to be very helpful.
 
bigmistake said:
So no it’s not just an easy confess type thing. I don’t know if I can go on like this. I blame myself for being deceived. I love my family more than anything. And I want to be happy again, but I feel like I don’t deserve to ever be happy again. I feel completely broken. And I see no end in sight and I don’t see a way to ever fix it.
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I don’t know about “easy to confess”, but it is simple. One goes to confession and makes a good confession, and receives absolution. After that, you are in a position to address the emotional aftermath and live forward penitentially. It is not right for you to continue to entertain thoughts of unforgiveness after God has forgiven you. If you continue to castigate yourself and nurture your guilt, you are making God into a liar, and placing yourself above Him. who are you to refuse forgiveness to yourself after the Most HIgh has already forgiven you? This is just the devils’ trick to prevent you from living a life free from sin.
 
Edward_H said:
Marriage is a great act of mortification…we need to embrace it…because it will spur good growth in our soul, allowing us to bring our spouse to God.
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Far and away, this is the best response I have ever seen on this type of thread. My parents have been married for over 60 years, and now their lives are in the painful process of winding down. It is amazing to look back and see all the trials and tribulations they went through, and the dedication they both have for each other.

I suspect, though none of us have ever spoken of it, that something like infidelity came up once in their marriage. I don’t know how far it got, and I never will know for sure, I just know something happened, and it only happened once I am pretty sure.

I can only echo what others have said here. Go to confession, and persevere. We all have at least a few crushing crosses which we have to bear, most just as heavy as the one you now carry. We are fallen, and the sacrifice of Christ was made, so that we may each persevere. We dishonor the sacrifice of Christ, when we say that “the cross is too heavy” and we through the towel in.

How nice it would be OP, if we were all so pure of conscious and sin that we could sit here and throw rocks, but that is far from reality, we are not. Instead, we stand ready to help you by praying to God to help you pickup your cross and to move forward on the road towards sanctity. Christ dropped his cross on the road to Calvary, to let us know that he understand that we will do the same. He persevered to the end and so must we.

Consider asking the Lord to give you trust in him. Consider dedicating your life to Christ through his most gracious mother. May the peace, joy, and love of Christ find you and be with you always.
 
That is how I do the dance of mortal sin, one step at a time, one near occasion after another, until the big chemical dump of dopamine hits my system, and then it is too late. It is a marvelous /insidious game that I play with myself in this dance. Satan, gleefully sweeps aside my conscious, whispering that it won’t get out of hand, then a few more steps and WHAM. Then with diabolical delight, he sweeps the filth off of my subdued conscious, to help me heap on as much shame as I can.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

This is why we need to plan, as others have alluded to. Even then we can game ourselves into another crisis, but this most certainly will happen if we don’t stop kidding ourselves, especially me. The REAL horror of this OP, and I speak from experience, is that this CAN happen again, but it does NOT have too! It really doesn’t. How can we prevent it from happening again then? By prayer, by being totally HONEST with ourselves, by examining our conscious, by begging Christ to give us the grace never to put ourselves in that position again, by creating and living by a plan, by immediately calling on Mary, Queen of the Angels to assist us at the very first sign of trouble.
 
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I’m surprised that most people think the spouse should be kept in the dark. Are people here really saying that they’d rather not know if their husband or wife had been unfaithful (whatever the circumstances)?
 
stpiosson said:
it is not prudent or healthy spiritually.
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This is very true, and it is also a blessing for them. If it is not necessary for their spiritual welfare, then they are better off not knowing. Who would wish for direct knowledge or fear for such things that did not have to know or experience it. Those of us who were foolish enough [that would be me ] or unfortunate enough to experience such things, probably needed to go through them, to shoo us back from the edge. Innocence has always been a form of strength.
 
In fact, this is a conversation every couple should have before marriage. We discussed it decades ago, and no, neither of us want to know the details of each others sins regardless of the sin. Only if there is a STD or if a child is conceived because that would have a direct impact on the life of the other. Heavens no, I’d not want to know!!
 
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