I don't want to make Confirmation

[babochka]

Every Archbishop here has insisted that we give teens the best catechesis we can, with a full 2 years of prep, mandatory spiritual retreats, and personal interaction with the pastor. Our kids do hours of community service as well. This serves to put into their hearts and schedules a place for helping others. A time for praying independently, and a love for learning about the church.

It is interesting that there is such a wide variety of requirement for Confirmation prep out there. I’ve seen parishes that have a 6-week program focused on the Sacrament, culminating in a retreat, but there is a general assumption that the kids have been involved in ongoing catechesis and living the faith within the family. If that is the reality, it seems about right to me. I think that your program is excessive and puts an undue burden on families. Do you also have a required component for parents, no matter the family circumstances (number of children, practicing the faith)? I’ve also seen parishes that have that. It also creates the unintended perception that confirmation is a reward, or a graduation from the 2-year program.

What are the requirements in your archdiocese for baptized, catechized and practicing Catholic adults who are seeking the sacrament? Are they required to attend a 2-year program, mandatory retreat and do community service?

THAT is why we do it. If we return to simply covering it as infants, we do a disservice to the kids who are being catechized by the press, the television, the internet, and yes, by parents who hardly know what the church teaches either in some cases.

We who chrismate or confirm at baptism don’t just “cover it” as infants, as if it something to get over with. We believe that the grace of the Sacrament and the gifts of the Holy Spirit will work throughout an individual’s life, imparting spiritual strength when it is needed. And we do catechize our children and teens. I think that the grace of the sacrament should be available to our children well before they enter the difficult teen years. It seems almost cruel to withhold it until they have “proven” themselves through a rigorous program.

The question of how to catechize our young people is complex and difficult. I don’t deny that at all. We need the grace of the sacrament and proper, lifelong catechesis in order to become fully formed Christians. It is true that many people “drop out” of religious education classes, unless they get something out of it, like a sacrament. The sacraments make a good carrot, but maybe the dropping out mentality has been created by the system of classes and then “graduation” sacraments. I get that it might be your only opportunity to reach these kids and I applaud you and your archdiocese for working hard to give the kids a quality, meaty program I just have serious misgivings about withholding the grace of confirmation in particular for so long. I also think that it seriously misleads people in their understanding of the sacrament. No wonder it is so often believed that Confirmation is one’s “adult acceptance of the faith”, which is a thoroughly Protestant understanding of Confirmation.

There’s a lack of vocations? I hardly think that leaving the teens to simply wander out of church because no one wants to work with them will boost vocations.

Why does this necessarily follow if we confirm as infants, or at the age of reason? Are we as adults, as Catechists, only able to offer quality programs within the context of sacramental preparation? Most every Eastern Catholic parish of any substantial size has a religious education program, as do most Orthodox parishes. We do not leave our teens and children simply to wander out of Church, simply because they have no sacraments to wait for.

As an aside, and perhaps this is a question for a new thread, I have a question, just out of curiosity. If a teen was confirmed as an infant, whether because of having been in danger of death, or perhaps having grown up in a country in which infant confirmation sometimes happens in the Latin Rite (Mexico, for example), or perhaps because he or she is an Eastern Rite Catholic with only Latin Churches available, or maybe the person has moved from a diocese that confirms earlier: what is available to him or her in your parish for catechesis, other than a Confirmation Preparation program? Is there a different path? I realize this probably doesn’t come up often, but it is still a possibility. Would the person just be included in the Confirmation program, but not allowed to -]graduate/-] be confirmed? I ask because I have seen such a situation and it was not handled particularly well. A relative of mine was confirmed as an infant, but was attending Catholic school in 8th grade, so she received religious education with her class. At the time of Confirmation, she went through the motions with her class, but received a blessing from the Bishop, instead of Confirmation. This happened when I was 18 and I was her “sponsor”. I remember feeling like they were treating her confirmation as if it didn’t count and being rather uncomfortable with the whole process. It was as if she still needed a ceremony with the bishop to make it real. I know that they were just trying to include her, but it was awkward. I was just wondering if it ever comes up in your parish.

 

[MyNameIsDan]

Just a question for those who argue that confirming her is still okay because a baby can also get confirmed (or similar comments).

The difference is that the baby does not have the faculties to reject the Church, the Holy Spirit, grace, etc. But a person at the age and reason of the original poster can reject it. So is it possible for the confirmation to be rendered invalid? I don’t remember, but during confirmation, they ask you some questions to which you respond “I do” but what if you don’t really agree? How can they be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit if they reject the Holy Spirit?

 

[pianistclare]

What are the requirements in your archdiocese for baptized, catechized and practicing Catholic adults who are seeking the sacrament? Are they required to attend a 2-year program, mandatory retreat and do community service?

snip

Why does this necessarily follow if we confirm as infants, or at the age of reason? Are we as adults, as Catechists, only able to offer quality programs within the context of sacramental preparation? Most every Eastern Catholic parish of any substantial size has a religious education program, as do most Orthodox parishes. We do not leave our teens and children simply to wander out of Church, simply because they have no sacraments to wait for.

As an aside, and perhaps this is a question for a new thread, I have a question, just out of curiosity. If a teen was confirmed as an infant, whether because of having been in danger of death, or perhaps having grown up in a country in which infant confirmation sometimes happens in the Latin Rite (Mexico, for example), or perhaps because he or she is an Eastern Rite Catholic with only Latin Churches available, or maybe the person has moved from a diocese that confirms earlier: what is available to him or her in your parish for catechesis, other than a Confirmation Preparation program? Is there a different path? I realize this probably doesn’t come up often, but it is still a possibility. Would the person just be included in the Confirmation program, but not allowed to -]graduate/-] be confirmed? I was just wondering if it ever comes up in your parish.

The two years is two years enrollment in catechesis. The actual prep for Confirmation is four 8 hour sessions, a retreat, and an interview. The adults go to 6 classes.
We’re not permitted to have people to just show up and go to the Confirmation prep at the expected age. I suppose the Bishops are trying to keep kids in formation. So…the 2 year enrollment plan holds for First Communion and Confirmation.
A burden on families? How about the burden on society when all of these kids go with the secular view of morality? Families should be coming to church regularly, no? How much of a burden is it to bring the kids? Catholic school kids are exempt from Catechesis at the parish level, but they must come to the Confirmation prep in the second year. The High Schools don’t have Confirmation prep as part of their curriculum per se. And the Bishop wants them active at the parish level, not just covering the bases in school.
We offer catechesis for all ages, from 4 yrs. old to 94. But kids are enrolled in way too many things outside of church. Worthy endeavors, but we notice they ALWAYS conflict with the church program…no matter what day of the week or what time of day we offer them.

The programs are available to everyone. Come on down. but we have several kids from out of the country who were baptized as infants, and their parents see absolutely NO REASON to enroll them in catechesis. I get this all the time.
*“Why isn’t your daughter enrolled?”
Oh she’s been Confirmed already…we don’t need it."
“well it’s good for her to go to formation classes”
“I know, we’re busy, thanks anyway”. *


If people are already confirmed we would LOVE to have them, But they don’t show up. They feel they are done.
Most of the time, the people who want to be confirmed as adults, only do so because they have “heard” that they can’t marry without Confirmation. yet another instance of “well if I HAVE to…”

That’s what I mean when I speak about this. There’s an argument for the theoretical…they way people believe it ought to be. but the reality out there in formation land?
It’s in no way the ideal that many people go on about.

In the meantime, as I said…kids are formed by their peers, and the internet, and pop stars.
We try to counteract those influences as best we can. We try to teach them to be disciples. I don’t think that’s really far from the point of Confirmation. Strength for the journey.
Peace, and thanks for asking.

 

[Kmon23]

Just a question for those who argue that confirming her is still okay because a baby can also get confirmed (or similar comments).

The difference is that the baby does not have the faculties to reject the Church, the Holy Spirit, grace, etc. But a person at the age and reason of the original poster can reject it. So is it possible for the confirmation to be rendered invalid? I don’t remember, but during confirmation, they ask you some questions to which you respond “I do” but what if you don’t really agree? How can they be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit if they reject the Holy Spirit?

I believe the three requirements for the validity of the sacrament of confirmation are

1. Proper Matter
2. Proper Minister
3. Proper intent of minister

So unless I am forgetting something, yes the sacrament would be valid as it does not depend on the inner disposition of the recipient.

In regards to the question of grace, I believe the general consensus is that the person was sealed with the Holy Spirit, but will not receive the graces entailed by the sacrament until the person in question accepts the sacrament.

 

[Phemie]

You still owe your parents obedience and respect. They can’t require you to receive the sacrament, but they can require you to attend Mass and to attend Confirmation classes. Whether you are confirmed or not is up to you–and the bishop–but your parents can still insist that you attend the classes. And they should.

That’s exactly how it was with my youngest child. In the end he opted to be confirmed even though I had told him that if, AFTER he attended all the classes, he didn’t want to be confirmed, I’d respect his wishes.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

My mom and I were eating dinner tonight. I told her I didn’t want to make confirmation. Se said, “You have to be confirmed.” I said, “No I don’t.” She said, “We’ll discuss this later.” My dad is away on business. We had a fight. When my dad gets back, I plan on telling my parents that I will not be confirmed. We can do it the easy way or the hard way. They can just leave me alone, or they can try to force me to go to confirmation classes. In that case, I will misbehave and cause problems in confirmation class to deliberately get thrown out and denied confirmation. Then my parents will be humiliated when they go to church.

As a CCD teacher, I can tell you, I would NEVER consider your parents as being wrong for sending you to class. I would think you were spoiled. I would however have one of your parents attend the class with you, just to keep you in check. You are right, you are not mature enough for Confirmation, but you REALLY need more religious education classes. I just pray your parents are strong enough to “keep the faith”.
As other have stated, do you have any questions for us? We are willing to help…

 

[Thomas_Peter]

I don’t want this either. I don’t want to go to church anymore. I just don’t believe in it.

How do you get away with that going to a Catholic High School? It has always been my experience that Mass is required during the week outside of the Sunday obligation. Every Catholic school I’ve ever known the kids have to attend mass during the school day at least once a week?

 

[Blessedwithfive]

How do you get away with that going to a Catholic High School? It has always been my experience that Mass is required during the week outside of the Sunday obligation. Every Catholic school I’ve ever known the kids have to attend mass during the school day at least once a week?

Our catholic school is once a month and many, many parents, at least half, do not attend on Sundays. They are open in saying the kids get lots of religion at school and they don’t need to go again on Sunday. We have a better Sunday attendance at mass with the CCD kids then the catholic school kids. But I digress…back to the topic, Sunday Mass is not optional and even those in mortal sin are required to attend. Not saying you are in mortal sin, you are just uninformed. That’s why you need to attend classes, even if you don’t get Confirmed.

 

[pianistclare]

**Our catholic school is once a month and many, many parents, at least half, do not attend on Sundays. They are open in saying the kids get lots of religion at school and they don’t need to go again on Sunday. ** We have a better Sunday attendance at mass with the CCD kids then the catholic school kids. But I digress…back to the topic, Sunday Mass is not optional and even those in mortal sin are required to attend. Not saying you are in mortal sin, you are just uninformed. That’s why you need to attend classes, even if you don’t get Confirmed.

Amen to the bolded part. We see this ALL the time, although I doubt if many CAF members believe it. Many of the regular posters on CAF are very knowledgeable in the faith, raised or are trying to raise their children well, despite outside negative influences of the culture, and have a rather rosy view of the Church. We see more people worried about altar rails than the state of the formation of the children.
The reality is that many Catholics don’t believe that missing Sunday Mass is a sin, don’t go or have not been to confession in years, (ask any child preparing for Reconciliation; they often say “my daddy says he hasn’t gone in 20 years and he’s not going to start now” ) or think that soccer or any other extracurricular activity is a valid excuse for missing.
THIS is the world that catechists face. And I believe, a huge reason why no one WANTS to teach the faith. I would love to see all the people who are wonderful here on CAF teach the children right up through High School. It might make a difference. The need is HUGE.
Sorry for the rant., but it’s so frustrating. We have kids who never returned to catechesis after First Communion in 2nd grade, and then show up in High School desiring a couple of quick session so they can get Confirmed. And the can’t make the sign of the cross and don’t know any of the prayers at Mass because they haven’t been since 2nd grade. But their parents know they’ve got to “get it done”. Punch my card, so we can get out of here.
Punch my card.
Confirming in infancy will only make that worse. Catholics with a 2nd grade knowledge of the faith running around telling others what Catholics believe. Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Or reading about the position of the Bishops on Huffington Post.
I know a ton of people disagree with me, but…

 

[Blessedwithfive]

Amen to the bolded part. We see this ALL the time, although I doubt if many CAF members believe it. Many of the regular posters on CAF are very knowledgeable in the faith, raised or are trying to raise their children well, despite outside negative influences of the culture, and have a rather rosy view of the Church. We see more people worried about altar rails than the state of the formation of the children.
The reality is that many Catholics don’t believe that missing Sunday Mass is a sin, don’t go or have not been to confession in years, (ask any child preparing for Reconciliation; they often say “my daddy says he hasn’t gone in 20 years and he’s not going to start now” ) or think that soccer or any other extracurricular activity is a valid excuse for missing.
THIS is the world that catechists face. And I believe, a huge reason why no one WANTS to teach the faith. I would love to see all the people who are wonderful here on CAF teach the children right up through High School. It might make a difference. The need is HUGE.
Sorry for the rant., but it’s so frustrating. We have kids who never returned to catechesis after First Communion in 2nd grade, and then show up in High School desiring a couple of quick session so they can get Confirmed. And the can’t make the sign of the cross and don’t know any of the prayers at Mass because they haven’t been since 2nd grade. But their parents know they’ve got to “get it done”. Punch my card, so we can get out of here.
Punch my card.
Confirming in infancy will only make that worse. Catholics with a 2nd grade knowledge of the faith running around telling others what Catholics believe. Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Or reading about the position of the Bishops on Huffington Post.
I know a ton of people disagree with me, but…

I love the part about the altar rails…
It sounds as if the OPs parents are trying to raise their child in the faith and attend Mass regularly. I sure hope the priest in their church backs up the parents and explains to the child that Mass attendance is required. Confirmation is not. Sometimes I attend Mass when I really don’t want to. A priest once told me that those are the times I NEED to attend the most.

 

[MBeatty1999]

How do you get away with that going to a Catholic High School? It has always been my experience that Mass is required during the week outside of the Sunday obligation. Every Catholic school I’ve ever known the kids have to attend mass during the school day at least once a week?

There is no requirement that you have to go to church in your private life to go to my school. There is no requirement you have to be Catholic to go to my school. There are several Protestants in my class. There is a Jewish guy in my class. I think the only thing is non Catholics have to pay a $100 fee to go to my school in addition to the tuition. We have Mass once a month, which I have no issue with. I also have no issue with taking the religion classes. It gets me out of CCD.

 

[Brianmcg321]

You are sounding like a toddler pitching a hissy fit. Grow up.

My thoughts exactly. After reading his first post I was going to post some helpful advice, but sounds to me he just needs a spanking.

http://talktotoddler.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tantrumkid.jpg

 

[Joan_M]

My mom and I were eating dinner tonight. I told her I didn’t want to make confirmation. Se said, “You have to be confirmed.” I said, “No I don’t.” She said, “We’ll discuss this later.” My dad is away on business. We had a fight. When my dad gets back, I plan on telling my parents that I will not be confirmed. We can do it the easy way or the hard way. They can just leave me alone, or they can try to force me to go to confirmation classes. In that case, I will misbehave and cause problems in confirmation class to deliberately get thrown out and denied confirmation. Then my parents will be humiliated when they go to church.

Well now, that post just shows me that you are totally immature, even for a 16 year old! “We can do it the easy way or the hard way”??? You are coming across like a total brat. If I was your mother, you wouldn’t dare to speak to me in that manner! You need to apologize to your mother and father for the way you have been behaving.

Perhaps you have not had very good formation in the faith. BUT, you still do not dishonor your parents in that way. I challenge you - visit good Catholic sites on the internet - this one, EWTN, Catholic Culture, etc. Find out the truth. Clearly, you have no understanding regarding the Mass. There are many excellent books out there - books by Scott Hahn, Peter Creeft, The Faith Explained, by Fr. Leo Trese. Read a number of these and come here with questions - to the Apologetics page. You cannot love God without His church.

 

[Rence]

This! My husband attends each Sunday with me even though he is not Catholic. It’s a sign of respect to me and my beliefs and respect to God. You really need to show some respect to your parents. Your parents do not have to take care of you if you will not follow their rules. The state (DCF) will step in and take to you foster care and at your age that would be a group home or even a detention home. And in state care you will go to the local high school…it really won’t be fun. By not following your parents rules, you would be classified as a juvenile delinquent. Attending Church on Sundays is not considered child abuse…it’s called responsible parenting.

I will pray for you. I think you just need to rethink your position.

Parent’s can’t just decide they’re not going to take care of their kids (just because their kids don’t want to go to church anymore) and have them shipped off to a detention home or foster care. That’s called abandonment and they can’t be charged by civil authorities for that.

MBeaty, Just tell your priest that you don’t want to be confirmed. A good priest worth his weight is salt won’t confirm a candidate who is not ready or who refuses. And once you speak to your priest, it’s kind of out of your parents’ hands. While they can force you, as their child to do this or that, they can’t force a priest to confirm someone who obviously isn’t ready. This isn’t medieval Europe afterall.

As for not going to Church, good luck with that one. As long as you live under your parents’ roof, they can make you go to Church or make your life miserable. But be careful that your ‘rebellion’ doesn’t lead you to reckless and delinquent behavior or you can end up in a detention home Pick your battles and do so respectfully. It’s one thing to confide in your priest and refuse to be confirmed at this time. It’s another matter altogether to be willfully disobedient and difficult. While you live under your parents’ home and are dependent on them, you are not absolved or your duty to obey them within reason. Requiring you to go to Church weekly isn’t at all unreasonable.

 

[MBeatty1999]

Parent’s can’t just decide they’re not going to take care of their kids (just because their kids don’t want to go to church anymore) and have them shipped off to a detention home or foster care. That’s called abandonment and they can’t be charged by civil authorities for that.

MBeaty, Just tell your priest that you don’t want to be confirmed. A good priest worth his weight is salt won’t confirm a candidate who is not ready or who refuses. And once you speak to your priest, it’s kind of out of your parents’ hands. While they can force you, as their child to do this or that, they can’t force a priest to confirm someone who obviously isn’t ready. This isn’t medieval Europe afterall.

As for not going to Church, good luck with that one. As long as you live under your parents’ roof, they can make you go to Church or make your life miserable. But be careful that your ‘rebellion’ doesn’t lead you to reckless and delinquent behavior or you can end up in a detention home Pick your battles and do so respectfully. It’s one thing to confide in your priest and refuse to be confirmed at this time. It’s another matter altogether to be willfully disobedient and difficult. While you live under your parents’ home and are dependent on them, you are not absolved or your duty to obey them within reason. Requiring you to go to Church weekly isn’t at all unreasonable.

That’s what I’ve been saying. I could see my parents doing that if I got violent with them or was abusive to them, or was doing drugs in the house, or something like that. What I said yesterday, I was kind of emotional. My mom and I didn’t scream at each other. We just argued a little. I don’t know what my parents would do if I refused to go to church. Once, a few months ago, on a Sunday, my dad and argued and I said I wouldn’t go. My dad said, “The TV comes out of your room for a week then.” I went along. I should just let him take it. And still refuse to go. I think taking the TV is more a way to make me comply than punishment. I know my parents, and I think if a long time goes by without the TV, he will eventually see I am not going to back down, and give up.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

Parent’s can’t just decide they’re not going to take care of their kids (just because their kids don’t want to go to church anymore) and have them shipped off to a detention home or foster care. That’s called abandonment and they can’t be charged by civil authorities for that.

MBeaty, Just tell your priest that you don’t want to be confirmed. A good priest worth his weight is salt won’t confirm a candidate who is not ready or who refuses. And once you speak to your priest, it’s kind of out of your parents’ hands. While they can force you, as their child to do this or that, they can’t force a priest to confirm someone who obviously isn’t ready. This isn’t medieval Europe afterall.

As for not going to Church, good luck with that one. As long as you live under your parents’ roof, they can make you go to Church or make your life miserable. But be careful that your ‘rebellion’ doesn’t lead you to reckless and delinquent behavior or you can end up in a detention home Pick your battles and do so respectfully. It’s one thing to confide in your priest and refuse to be confirmed at this time. It’s another matter altogether to be willfully disobedient and difficult. While you live under your parents’ home and are dependent on them, you are not absolved or your duty to obey them within reason. Requiring you to go to Church weekly isn’t at all unreasonable.

Actually it is not abandonment if the child refuses to follow reasonable rules. The parents are willing to take care of him if he follows their rules and their rules are not unreasonable. The child would be classified as a JD and DCF will take him. Remember, he said we could do this the easy way or the hard way. To me that means he is willing to be defiant to his parents. That’s like the definition of a delinquent.

 

[Rence]

Actually it is not abandonment if the child refuses to follow reasonable rules. The parents are willing to take care of him if he follows their rules and their rules are not unreasonable. The child would be classified as a JD and DCF will take him. Remember, he said we could do this the easy way or the hard way. To me that means he is willing to be defiant to his parents. That’s like the definition of a delinquent.

Yeah, I’d like to see that go to court. Not going to Church isn’t delinquent behavior. Especially if he/she just doesn’t go without any other acting out. I’d love to see a Judge send a kid to a Juvenile Detention center just because the kid didn’t attend Mass.

When we were kids, my brother refused to go to Mass, and that’s it, he just didn’t go, just didn’t show up. No fighting was involved, even though my parents tried to engage him. He just didn’t go. My mom, bless her, would have been laughed out of court if she went to a Judge to try and get him to be send to a Juvenile Home just because he didn’t go to Church.

I’m betting that the less fighting that is done, the more likely this kid will get Confirmed when he/she is ready. At least she likes going to class, where she can learn more about the Church and hopefully have her questions answered and doubts laid to rest. Fighting about it isn’t going to help with someone so angry.

 

[casslean]

That’s what I’ve been saying. I could see my parents doing that if I got violent with them or was abusive to them, or was doing drugs in the house, or something like that. What I said yesterday, I was kind of emotional. My mom and I didn’t scream at each other. We just argued a little. I don’t know what my parents would do if I refused to go to church. Once, a few months ago, on a Sunday, my dad and argued and I said I wouldn’t go. My dad said, “The TV comes out of your room for a week then.” I went along. I should just let him take it. And still refuse to go. I think taking the TV is more a way to make me comply than punishment. I know my parents, and I think if a long time goes by without the TV, he will eventually see I am not going to back down, and give up.

I think everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath for a minute.

MBeatty, I don’t know what your reasons are for turning your back on your religion. My concern is, I don’t think you really know either. I think you may be rebelling for the sake of rebelling. Not wanting to go to Church or to CCD classes - that’s not a very good reason to turn your back on the whole thing. If you have real questions, real concerns, real issues - this is a great time to air them. If you are really questioning your faith, then explore those questions.

If you’re going to stomp your feet and sulk and demand your way, you’re going to be treated like a child, and children don’t get to make their own decisions. They are subject to their parents’ directions.

Choose your own path, but choose wisely.

 

[MBeatty1999]

Yeah, I’d like to see that go to court. Not going to Church isn’t delinquent behavior. Especially if he/she just doesn’t go without any other acting out. I’d love to see a Judge send a kid to a Juvenile Detention center just because the kid didn’t attend Mass.

When we were kids, my brother refused to go to Mass, and that’s it, he just didn’t go, just didn’t show up. No fighting was involved, even though my parents tried to engage him. He just didn’t go. My mom, bless her, would have been laughed out of court if she went to a Judge to try and get him to be send to a Juvenile Home just because he didn’t go to Church.

I’m betting that the less fighting that is done, the more likely this kid will get Confirmed when he/she is ready. At least she likes going to class, where she can learn more about the Church and hopefully have her questions answered and doubts laid to rest. Fighting about it isn’t going to help with someone so angry.

I’m a he, and I just don’t see it happening.

 

[Rence]

That’s what I’ve been saying. I could see my parents doing that if I got violent with them or was abusive to them, or was doing drugs in the house, or something like that. What I said yesterday, I was kind of emotional. My mom and I didn’t scream at each other. We just argued a little. I don’t know what my parents would do if I refused to go to church. Once, a few months ago, on a Sunday, my dad and argued and I said I wouldn’t go. My dad said, “The TV comes out of your room for a week then.” I went along. I should just let him take it. And still refuse to go. I think taking the TV is more a way to make me comply than punishment. I know my parents, and I think if a long time goes by without the TV, he will eventually see I am not going to back down, and give up.

I understand you. I was that rebellious teenager. I was probably more angry than you write yourself to be. I’m not going to tell you how immature and difficult you are, because I was that way too. I could make my parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. just as miserable as they thought they could make me. You need to learn how to channel your feelings more constructively and to your benefit (That makes the difference between doing things the easy way and doing things the hard way). This comes with time. But I can tell you this:

You both need to meet in the middle and try to see the other person’s perspective. That’s part of being a family. Both of you are at fault for being selfish of the other’s feelings. Suck it up and get together on it.

The fact of the matter is, your parents are required by the Church to make you attend Mass weekly as long as they are responsible for you. And so they have to do that any way they can - short of being abusive. While they can’t drag you kicking and screaming, they can make you more angry and miserable along the way. And while you can an argue that you don’t care, the reality is, you’re just being stubborn. So there is really nothing but pure selfishness that would make you refuse to go, knowing your parents are responsible for you to go. You can refuse to go later, when you’re out on your own.

If you don’t feel ready (or just don’t wanna) get Confirmed, I can understand that. Just talk to your priest about it. I highly doubt anyone will Confirm you if you tell them you’re not ready. But don’t act out about it. Just be honest and communicate your feelings to the priest.