I feel guilty whenever I pray for a husband

[PhanxicoXavier]

Since you have helped me on my thread, I’d suggest reading through this link and the ones on the bottom of that page:

catholicism.org/the-great-sacrament-holy-matrimony.html

There’s nothing wrong about praying to know what vocation God is calling you to. I’m sure that you already know that. Sometimes we can lapse into self-pity, sigh and wallow in our daydreams, but at the end of the day, praying to Saint Joseph and the Sorrowful Virgin always put an end to the melodrama of our lives (I’m just rambling here, I’m not saying that is what you do).

And I’m sure that you would make an excellent Catholic mother - nothing else is needed.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Since you have helped me on my thread, I’d suggest reading through this link and the ones on the bottom of that page:

catholicism.org/the-great-sacrament-holy-matrimony.html

There’s nothing wrong about praying to know what vocation God is calling you to. I’m sure that you already know that. Sometimes we can lapse into self-pity, sigh and wallow in our daydreams, but at the end of the day, praying to Saint Joseph and the Sorrowful Virgin always put an end to the melodrama of our lives (I’m just rambling here, I’m not saying that is what you do).

And I’m sure that you would make an excellent Catholic mother - nothing else is needed.

Thanks.

Ok, I’m going to bed. I’ll check to see if anyone from the West Coast (or Asia ) posted in response to this thread tomorrow morning.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Good news! I prayed for a husband (the right one thank you Newbie 2!) and children last night, and I didn’t feel all that guilty.

 

[srlucado]

Great news!

Keep it up.

 

[puzzleannie]

Wait wait wait… high sex drive is holy!!! Then I’m a saint! Lol!

that is not what I said and not what OP said. The desire for sex, united to the desire for marriage, procreation and family as God intended, is holy, because He created it, and he created it holy, for a holy purpose.

I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel right. The really crazy thing is, I can admit to people on an internet forum that I would like to have sex, but I can’t admit that to God. Which is completely insane, since He already knows that anyway, and He made me like this. But, nevertheless, here we are.

well that is a good start, to begin with self-knowledge, now you know where to begin your spiritual work, where it usually has to begin, with mistaken assumptions about God, and about his plan for the human race.

 

[valient_Lucy]

that is not what I said and not what OP said. The desire for sex, united to the desire for marriage, procreation and family as God intended, is holy, because He created it, and he created it holy, for a holy purpose.

well that is a good start, to begin with self-knowledge, now you know where to begin your spiritual work, where it usually has to begin, with mistaken assumptions about God, and about his plan for the human race.

Yeah, I realize that most of the issues I have with praying for a husband and children lie in mistaken assumptions. And I do try to keep praying, even though I do feel guilty about it. I’m not going to let my feelings overpower what I know is right and wrong.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Great news!

Keep it up.

Thanks. I will.

 

[trinichiqn]

I pray for a husband and family everyday. Sometimes I worry that His answer would be no but I keep praying. Sometimes I am very specific about what I want, someone who is kind, honest, understanding, respectful, a good father, strong in his faith, forgiving, attractive, non-smoker. I also pray that his love for me will be second only to his love of God.

I don’t really feel guilty because that is what prayer is, asking of God, talking to God. You would talk to your friends about wishing you were married and the kind f husband you want, then you can do the same with God.

 

[valient_Lucy]

I pray for a husband and family everyday. Sometimes I worry that His answer would be no but I keep praying. ** Sometimes I am very specific about what I want, someone who is kind, honest, understanding, respectful, a good father, strong in his faith, forgiving, attractive, non-smoker. **I also pray that his love for me will be second only to his love of God.

I don’t really feel guilty because that is what prayer is, asking of God, talking to God. You would talk to your friends about wishing you were married and the kind f husband you want, then you can do the same with God.

I admire you. I could never do that.

 

[CountrySinger]

that is not what I said and not what OP said. The desire for sex, united to the desire for marriage, procreation and family as God intended, is holy, because He created it, and he created it holy, for a holy purpose.

Yeah, it seemd too good to be true.

A high sex drive is a curse when you are single. I’m clinging to the side of the celibacy wagon, and I don’t have the willpower to say no for too much longer (all my willpower is going to my diet). Last night, I went out with friends, and I always pray there won’t be cute men, because then it is like dangling ice cream in front of people working out.

Of course, God didn’t listen, and there were good looking men. So I asked Him not to have any hit on me. So then of course one came over and started flirting. My options were: Yell “TAKE ME NOW ON THIS TABLE!” or leave (it is a bar, where hooking up is the main goal). So I left, and walked for a couple hours in 3 inch stilettos. So I’m not happy. And my feet hurt. So as it is in my life, God likes to jerk me around. I’m sure He was cracking up last night. Ha ha ha “I made her with a high sex drive, and she can’t do anything!”

 

[sseason]

Ok, I’m starting to think that Catholic Answers Forum needs a special sub-forum for singles.

That being said, I want to marry and have children, but whenever I pray for a husband and children, I feel very guilty.

Several reasons.

1 It doesn’t seem very holy to ask God to give you a husband and children.

2 I worry that maybe God doesn’t want me to marry, so I’ll be wasting my time. Or wose, he’ll answer my prayers and I’ll be miserable, since I wasn’t meant to marry.

3 I’m worried that I’ll be a terrible wife and mother, and just make everyone else miserable.

4 To be perfectly honest, a part of me still doesn’t believe that God loves me or wants me to be happy.

I still pray anyway. I also pray for my future husband, and that God will give me the grace to be a good wife and mother. But I still feel guilty.

Any thoughts?

Don’t feel guilty!! That is just the evil one talking! As long as you pray for Gods Will do be done above all else, you can always pray for your hearts desire.
My mom always taught me to pray for my future husband. I actually found old journals from grade school with several entries praying for my future husband! But she also always taught me to pray for Gods Will. And to pray and ask God if He wanted me to be a nun. …I prayed and prayed and prayed…I was open to being a nun, however I didn’t feel like I was strong enough to be a good nun. And my true desire has always been to have a husband and children.
I actuall had a dream once where a statue of mary walked up to me and told me that “you will have a family” … when I woke up I wasn’t sure if that meant that I will be a nun and the community I was in would be my family, or what. It just seemed like a strange answer that could mean several things (unlike, “yes, you will get married and have kids”). And I didn’t know if it was just another dream. But… years later… at the age of 33 this guy I was seeing took me to his Church and we were sitting outside by a Fatima shrine (he knew I had a devotion to her) and he asked me to marry him. I had my camera with me because we were going out that night, so I was taking some picture of us by the shrine and when I stood next the the statue of Mary, that dream came rushing to my mind so vividly…I stood there in amazement. And I knew at that moment that the dream meant a real family with a husband.
It was an engagement mixed with stress, wonder and miracles. I didn’t think he was exactly “right” for me. (we were raised differently) But God did. I listened to Him. And now I’m married to the most amazing man I could ever ask for.
The key for me was to always ask for Gods Will and not mine. Even when I questioned marrying him, it wasn’t for superficial reasons, it was always because of what I thought God would want. But what “I” think and what God thinks, is often different. And I praise God for guiding me in this direction!!!

So keep on praying! Ask God for His Will! And don’t feel guilty!!!

~Peace!

 

[valient_Lucy]

Don’t feel guilty!! That is just the evil one talking! As long as you pray for Gods Will do be done above all else, you can always pray for your hearts desire.
My mom always taught me to pray for my future husband. I actually found old journals from grade school with several entries praying for my future husband! But she also always taught me to pray for Gods Will. And to pray and ask God if He wanted me to be a nun. …I prayed and prayed and prayed…I was open to being a nun, however I didn’t feel like I was strong enough to be a good nun. And my true desire has always been to have a husband and children.
I actuall had a dream once where a statue of mary walked up to me and told me that “you will have a family” … when I woke up I wasn’t sure if that meant that I will be a nun and the community I was in would be my family, or what. It just seemed like a strange answer that could mean several things (unlike, “yes, you will get married and have kids”). And I didn’t know if it was just another dream. But… years later… at the age of 33 this guy I was seeing took me to his Church and we were sitting outside by a Fatima shrine (he knew I had a devotion to her) and he asked me to marry him. I had my camera with me because we were going out that night, so I was taking some picture of us by the shrine and when I stood next the the statue of Mary, that dream came rushing to my mind so vividly…I stood there in amazement. And I knew at that moment that the dream meant a real family with a husband.
It was an engagement mixed with stress, wonder and miracles. I didn’t think he was exactly “right” for me. (we were raised differently) But God did. I listened to Him. And now I’m married to the most amazing man I could ever ask for.
The key for me was to always ask for Gods Will and not mine. Even when I questioned marrying him, it wasn’t for superficial reasons, it was always because of what I thought God would want. But what “I” think and what God thinks, is often different. And I praise God for guiding me in this direction!!!

So keep on praying! Ask God for His Will! And don’t feel guilty!!!

~Peace!

That’s a great story. I try to be open to God’s will. And if God did want me to be a nun, I’d try to be one joyfully. But a large part of me would be crushed. That’s another part of praying for a husband and children that bothers me. Wouldn’t it be better to just ask God to show me His will, rather than asking him to do what I want?

That’s the part of it that seems selfish. I mean, I would be devastated if he never wanted me to get married, but I would still try to do His will wholeheartedly. Sometimes it seems as though I should have no will in this situation. Or is it simply a matter of saying to God, “This is what I want, but I will do Your will.”

 

[valient_Lucy]

So as it is in my life, God likes to jerk me around. I’m sure He was cracking up last night. Ha ha ha “I made her with a high sex drive, and she can’t do anything!”

I’ve had those thoughts myself. Not just about sex, but about other things too.

Frustrating.

 

[CountrySinger]

I’ve had those thoughts myself. Not just about sex, but about other things too.

Frustrating.

I feel that way all the time, in fact, my Catholic faith is wavering. I’m so tempted to back to my maneating ways, I was happier then.

 

[valient_Lucy]

I’m really enjoying everyone’s responses! Well, at times it’s tough. This is something that’s very difficult for me to talk about. But I feel that it’s something that I have to address. So I’ll keep answering all the questions, and trying to figure out why I feel the way I do about this.

Plus, I have to make it to 2000 posts! I didn’t realize that I haven’t actually posted here as much as I thought I had!

 

[valient_Lucy]

I feel that way all the time, in fact, my Catholic faith is wavering. I’m so tempted to back to my maneating ways, I was happier then.

If you were happier then, why did you stop? Something made you change your mind.

I’ve not had those thoughts, since I don’t have the maneating past. But I did post a thread on the Forum once, stating that I hated my sex drive,and I would be willing to drug myself if that would make it go away. (Did anyone ever read The Giver in Middle School?) (I would like to add that I no longer feel that way.)

It’s not just the sex though. One of my friends has a little boy. He’s 14 months old, adoreable, and she loves being a mom. It just doesn’t seem fair at times like that.

 

[CountrySinger]

If you were happier then, why did you stop? Something made you change your mind.

I’ve not had those thoughts, since I don’t have the maneating past. But I did post a thread on the Forum once, stating that I hated my sex drive,and I would be willing to drug myself if that would make it go away. (Did anyone ever read The Giver in Middle School?) (I would like to add that I no longer feel that way.)

It’s not just the sex though. One of my friends has a little boy. He’s 14 months old, adoreable, and she loves being a mom. It just doesn’t seem fair at times like that.

Well, after my mother and father died, and I had a reversion, and I’m starting to think that it was a mistake. I’m getting hurt by men too much, and I have a crush on a Catholic man, and it scares me too much! It was easier to get what I wanted from a man (money, sex, posessions, etc) and then show him the door. With this one, I can’t use and then throw away (pesky emotions). After my fiancee was killed, I told myself that I would NEVER let a man hurt me.

 

[sseason]

That’s a great story. I try to be open to God’s will. And if God did want me to be a nun, I’d try to be one joyfully. But a large part of me would be crushed. That’s another part of praying for a husband and children that bothers me. Wouldn’t it be better to just ask God to show me His will, rather than asking him to do what I want?

That’s the part of it that seems selfish. I mean, I would be devastated if he never wanted me to get married, but I would still try to do His will wholeheartedly. Sometimes it seems as though I should have no will in this situation. Or is it simply a matter of saying to God, “This is what I want, but I will do Your will.”

It seems to me that you want His Will. And if I can see it, God sure the heck knows that your desire to please Him is pure. He will see that and Bless you for it. I think that if His will for you is to be a nun or single, then He will give you a desire for it. At least at some point. But in my opinion, if your desire right now is for a husband then keep on praying for one! I did. (keep in mind that I do understand your struggle though. At least on some level)
Another thing I like to pray for is a descernment of spirits. So that I am more aware of when it is His voice speaking to me and when it’s you know who’s!

Peace!

 

[catharina]

Ok, I’m starting to think that Catholic Answers Forum needs a special sub-forum for singles.

That being said, I want to marry and have children, but whenever I pray for a husband and children, I feel very guilty.

Several reasons.

1 It doesn’t seem very holy to ask God to give you a husband and children.

2 I worry that maybe God doesn’t want me to marry, so I’ll be wasting my time. Or wose, he’ll answer my prayers and I’ll be miserable, since I wasn’t meant to marry.

3 I’m worried that I’ll be a terrible wife and mother, and just make everyone else miserable.

4 To be perfectly honest, a part of me still doesn’t believe that God loves me or wants me to be happy.

I still pray anyway. I also pray for my future husband, and that God will give me the grace to be a good wife and mother. But I still feel guilty.

Any thoughts?

It would probably give you great relief to spend (at least) equal time
praying to learn God’s will for your life. Isn’t that a logical approach?

 

[valient_Lucy]

It seems to me that you want His Will. And if I can see it, God sure the heck knows that your desire to please Him is pure. He will see that and Bless you for it. I think that if His will for you is to be a nun or single, then He will give you a desire for it. At least at some point. But in my opinion, if your desire right now is for a husband then keep on praying for one! I did. (keep in mind that I do understand your struggle though. At least on some level)
Another thing I like to pray for is a descernment of spirits. So that I am more aware of when it is His voice speaking to me and when it’s you know who’s!

Peace!

Thanks. I’m glad you think I want God’s will. That really does make me feel better. And you’re right, if God wanted me to stay single or to become a nun, he would give me that desire. (St. Therese certainly wanted to become a nun.)

I like you’re advice about discerning spirits. I’ll have to pray for that. I’ll pray to the Holy Spirit and ask for His help in that matter.