I feel guilty whenever I pray for a husband

[catharina]

But is it a sin to ask God for a husband and children?

I have no idea what might be sinful for you.
A prayer offered in good faith doesn’t seem sinful to me.

If it is a concern for you, then discuss it with your confessor.

 

[angelic06]

Ok, I’m starting to think that Catholic Answers Forum needs a special sub-forum for singles.

That being said, I want to marry and have children, but whenever I pray for a husband and children, I feel very guilty.

Several reasons.

1*** It doesn’t seem very holy to ask God to give you a husband and children.***

2 I worry that maybe God doesn’t want me to marry, so I’ll be wasting my time. Or wose, he’ll answer my prayers and I’ll be miserable, since I wasn’t meant to marry.

3 I’m worried that I’ll be a terrible wife and mother, and just make everyone else miserable.

4 To be perfectly honest, a part of me still doesn’t believe that God loves me or wants me to be happy.

I still pray anyway. I also pray for my future husband, and that God will give me the grace to be a good wife and mother. But I still feel guilty.

Any thoughts?

I pray for a wife all the time (or rather, on and off). I do, however, temper it with “If it be your will” or something similar----“I pray that you will soon reveal who you have appointed to be my wife so that we your children will be able to praise your name with purer hearts and minds” or something to that effect.

No disrespect, but # 4 sounds nutty. God wants us to be eternally happy with Him forever, and if He can do that by downright blessing us while we are still on Earth, great, but if our salvation must be achieved by testing us a bit while we are enroute to our eternal abode, then we must be patient.

 

[valient_Lucy]

I pray for a wife all the time (or rather, on and off). I do, however, temper it with “If it be your will” or something similar----“I pray that you will soon reveal who you have appointed to be my wife so that we your children will be able to praise your name with purer hearts and minds” or something to that effect.

No disrespect, but # 4 sounds nutty. God wants us to be eternally happy with Him forever, and if He can do that by downright blessing us while we are still on Earth, great, but if our salvation must be achieved by testing us a bit while we are enroute to our eternal abode, then we must be patient.

Yeah, I ask God to purify my motives as well, so that I will want things for the right reason.

I can’t explain #4. I know that it’s not true, but it feels true.

 

[rebeccanew]

It is wonderful and very wise to pray for a husband. It is probably the most important decision you will make in your adult life-you need God to help you. Just don’t let the search rule you. Do what you should do-improve yourself and become the best you can at what you do. I think the happiest people meet doing what they like to do-it gives them a common platform. But don’t look at everyone as a ‘prospect’. God will let you know when the right one is there.

 

[valient_Lucy]

It is wonderful and very wise to pray for a husband. It is probably the most important decision you will make in your adult life-you need God to help you. Just don’t let the search rule you. Do what you should do-improve yourself and become the best you can at what you do. I think the happiest people meet doing what they like to do-it gives them a common platform. But don’t look at everyone as a ‘prospect’. God will let you know when the right one is there.

Thanks. I’ll do my best to make the most of the time I have.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Still past halfway through it, I think.

How is it? Is it good?

 

[Podo2005]

I do. But is it a sin to ask God for a husband and children?

Of course not!

In the end though it comes down to doing the will of God (Not my will but Yours be done…Luke 22:42). It is not a sin to ask God for a husband & children… you just have to remain open to God’s will for you, thats all

You mentioned in one of your posts that you had problems trusting God… a good remedy for that would be to say that simple prayer from the Divine Mercy picture… Jesus, I Trust in You… keep saying that repeatedly & you will be amazed how much it will help

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary

 

[valient_Lucy]

Of course not!

In the end though it comes down to doing the will of God (Not my will but Yours be done…Luke 22:42). It is not a sin to ask God for a husband & children… you just have to remain open to God’s will for you, thats all

You mentioned in one of your posts that you had problems trusting God… a good remedy for that would be to say that simple prayer from the Divine Mercy picture… Jesus, I Trust in You… keep saying that repeatedly & you will be amazed how much it will help

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary

Thanks. I needed that. I’ll try praying the Divine Mercy prayer more often, whenever I start doubting.

 

[Podo2005]

Thanks. I needed that. I’ll try praying the Divine Mercy prayer more often, whenever I start doubting.

You’re most certainly welcome

I know from personal experience that that prayer has helped me… especially in times when I experienced great anxiety I’ve prayed it & have marveled at the grace of God recieved by saying such a simple prayer

Praying for you always!

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary

 

[Podo2005]

If you think you’re praying a lot now, wait till you actually *have *a husband!

More seriously, why feel bad about wanting to be a wife?

I used to wonder why it was that no woman wanted me for a husband…what was wrong with me?

Answer: nothing. Just a matter of timing.

this is more evidence that you should pray for a husband… your place will be higher in heaven (because of the excessive praying you will have to do…)

 

[Podo2005]

Me three!

me 4

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

It is a way to prevent being hurt. Men would say “I love you” and I would say, “that’s nice”. And then they would be sad. Hee. I loved that. You got to keep the power, or else you risk losing everything.

You always risk losing everything, and I think that would be heightening more so when a man says that he loves you and you don’t respond at all.

And sex was the best way to control them. Or the promise of sex was just as powerful, I didn’t sleep with a lot of them. It helped that I couldn’t stand them.

That’s just unnerving to me. One should never use sex for something as vulgar as controlling a man. And whyever date a man that you can’t stand?

Now to this current crush. I can’t do it. He is different for other men. I actually you know, like him. I feel powerless. I have no clue how he feels, and I’m used to controlling men.

Perhaps this is a good thing. Controlling men is a bad habit.

 

[Sierrah]

Long ago I consulted a priest on this subject. He simply told me to ask God for what you want. That doesn’t guarantee you’ll get it but unless is something bad for you or against the commandments what would be the problem?

 

[Consecrated]

I know I would be an awesome wife, I just don’t know how good of a mother I would be.

Well, I’m married, so i don’t know how much you care to hear my opinion… just wanted to chime in to say that although I’m due with our 5th blessing in July, I often have similar thoughts. Although my question’s always posed in *present *tense. So you may be “single” but you’re not alone.

 

[chevalier]

Yeah, that’s difficult too! Suddenly you don’t get to have your way all the time.

It’s been a problem with most of my could-have-beens, so to say.

 

[CountrySinger]

Well, I’m married, so i don’t know how much you care to hear my opinion… just wanted to chime in to say that although I’m due with our 5th blessing in July, I often have similar thoughts. Although my question’s always posed in *present *tense. So you may be “single” but you’re not alone.

I like hearing how even current mothers have doubts. I’m just scared I’ll mess up, and create an evil genius.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I like hearing how even current mothers have doubts. I’m just scared I’ll mess up, and create an evil genius.

I don’t know. It sounds better than being the reason why your kid would get picked on at school. >_>;;

 

[valient_Lucy]

Long ago I consulted a priest on this subject. He simply told me to ask God for what you want. That doesn’t guarantee you’ll get it but unless is something bad for you or against the commandments what would be the problem?

The more I think about it, it’s becaues I have some really screwed up thoughts and misconceptions on the nature of God, marriage, and sex. Even though I believe and profess all that the Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God, it’s still hard to overcome these ideas. I try not to let them control me, but they’re still there.

 

[valient_Lucy]

You’re most certainly welcome

I know from personal experience that that prayer has helped me… especially in times when I experienced great anxiety I’ve prayed it & have marveled at the grace of God recieved by saying such a simple prayer

Praying for you always!

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary

Thanks. I’ll pray for you as well.

 

[valient_Lucy]

The more I think about it, it’s becaues I have some really screwed up thoughts and misconceptions on the nature of God, marriage, and sex. Even though I believe and profess all that the Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God, it’s still hard to overcome these ideas. I try not to let them control me, but they’re still there.

Anyone have any advice on how to overcome these misconceptions?

(I’m determined to break 1800 posts by the weekend. Can you tell that my semester is almost done? )