I give up trying to defeat my addictions

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Miguel2

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I have been trying for a long time to defeat my addiction to pornography and masturbation. And you know what? No progress has been made. On average I can do, being generous, a week, and my record is 11 days (that happened a long time ago).

I tried many strategies, but in the end, I can’t control myself. I never can. I pray and pray, but I am too weak to be able to defeat the urges, even with the help of God and the saints.

Yes, I can’t defeat sin with my own powers, but even if I give myself entirely to God, I still can’t.

Some people just can’t do it, even trying for years and years. I’m tired of hoping that “this time things will be different”, then failing 3/4 days later. I am tired of confessing the same sin every week.

I know that this is exactly what the Devil wants: that I give up. But what should I do? Every time I fail after having some hope, I get depressed for a few days, then I regain hope, then the cycle repeats … It’s less tiring and more healthier for my mental health to just give up on a fight that I can’t win.
 
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So you’re going to let the devil win? Dude. it’s not worth it. This gave you freedom.
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You have freedom in HIM so you no longer have to be a slave to sin
 
OK, here is what I recommend, see if you can see a therapist about porn addiction. It is a clinically diagnosed addiction with treatment. In choosing a therapist, interview them and make sure 1) they have some Christian background, even if not a Catholic 2) see that they are on board with you giving up porn.

Continue praying. Continue going to mass. The danger you risk is that in giving up on not watching porn, you go to an atheism. That is extreme, you are throwing out the baby with the bath water. Continue faithfully along your path with the help of a therapist.

We are here for you. Better to feel guilt for a sin and make efforts to correct, then give up on religion to give in to your sin.
 
I don’t like the idea of the Devil winning, but what am I supossed to do? I feel like having a fist fight alone against him.

Currently, I am not free. I am an slave and the chains are too resistant.
 
Undo giving up.

Agere Contra your despair.

Identify your near occasion to sin. Is it your computer? Sign up for Covenant Eyes or literally leave your technology at home and go for a long monastic retreat at your next available vacation.

Is your near occasion to sin lying in bed trying to fall asleep? Pray the rosary. Pray it with all your energy, all your thought power, all your strength. If you finish one rosary, pray another. Pray until you fall asleep. If you feel you’re losing brain cells from the strain, lose those brain cells. Offer it all up to God.

Keep going to Confession. Go more often if necessary. Do not give up.

Brother, hear this: You are not fighting and losing one long battle. There are multiple battles going on. Every time you fight, you win. Yes, sometimes you lose a battle. Sometimes we all lose. But fight again. Fight with everything you have, whenever you have it. Jesus Christ is the one winning the battle in you. Tomorrow is a different fight. Just fight today’s fight, and thank God for helping you overcome today.

PS I’d also suggest checking out Matt Fradd for community and counsel on overcoming pornography addiction. I’m not familiar myself (lady) but am aware he has a focus there, and I like and respect his other work.

Also, I’d second someone’s suggestion about formal therapy or counselling. Depending on your history, triggers, and other factors, it may significantly benefit you to seek out official help in overcoming longstanding and enslaving addiction and bad habits.
 
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I will never become an atheist. It is too illogical and there is a lot of evidences about God’s existence, while the atheism has nothing to prove itself.
 
I don’t think it would be of benefit if I begged you to come back to faith in Christ. Therefore, let me just warn you: if you’re content with floundering around in sin, then don’t be deceived, you’re not going to inherit the Kingdom of God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9). It’s going to drag you to Hell.
 
I tried to block pornography a lot of times and I always find a way, you know … These blockers can’t stop me.

There was a time in my life when I prayed everyday the Rosary, the Chaplet of Saint Michael the Archangel, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the 15 Prayers of Saint Bridget and other things. Unfortunately, I can’t say that praying for help did anything to my problems.

For a few days, I participated in Strive21. A Matt Fradd’s online program to help people overcome their addiction on pornography. I gave up on that recently, because, as always, I wasn’t feeling any changes.

My occasion to sin is whenever I am at home with my electronic devices waiting for me there … Destroying them is out of the question.

The constant struggle only makes me tired and hopeless many days a month. This is not health for me.
 
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Miguel2 said:
Currently, I am not free. I am an slave and the chains are too resistant.
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Fighting this has been a sign of your freedom - like MNathaniel is saying, fighting is winning. You are falling but don’t think of it as ultimate failure. The final victory for all of us belongs to Jesus Christ.
 
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No more strength to get up. I can’t do It anymore. I don’t want to have useless hope again, because this is too painful.
 
Hey Miguel, never give up bro. The reward in the next life is well worth the suffering in this.
God knows your struggles. Offer them up for the salvation of souls. When you stumble, you know thr deal. Right yourself and keep praying prayers of praise, thanksgiving, and of penance. You’ll be fine.

I love this perfect little book.
And this such an excellent reading.
I’ve been listening to about 30 min every evening lately, and every word brings peace to my soul.
You may find it helpful. Peace, Miguel.

 
Of course now it seems that I really don’t believe that God can help me. My posture is the natural response after a long time of useless prayers. You should analyze who I was before I became the personification of hopeless.

If I pray correctly? Well, what I can tell you is that yesterday I think I prayed with great hope and faith, then I fell the next day. Or maybe I never prayed well, how am I supposed to know that?

As I said before, I will not become an atheist. I’m an idiot, but not to this point. Atheism is too illogical and superficial for me.

I have no “major underlying problems”. I just can’t stop myself from looking at porn and masturbating right after. Years of this pleasant habit and my brain just doesn’t want to give up on that easy pleasure.

I had a good relationship with God. I was looking ahead to a promising future, but then pornography / mastubation came and everything went downhill.

Pornography and masturbation are the source of my problems, they are the source of my currently bad relationship with God and myself. There is nothing that I need to resolve before. It’s them.
 
If you keep trying there is a possibility you’ll overcome. “With God all things are possible”

If you give up, then there’s no possibility.

Now, which would you prefer?
 
I prefer not having to choose my clothes in total darkness.

When will this possibility be realized? In 10 years from now? 20 years? 30?

10/20/30 years of being constantly depressed because of my inability to break the cycle.
 
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Miguel2 said:
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Yes, I can’t defeat sin with my own powers, but even if I give myself entirely to God, I still can’t.
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That is not true with regard to mortal sin. If a person that has a state of sanctifying grace, cooperates with that grace, it is possible to remain free from mortal sin. If you are resisting mentally while addicted, then consider what the Catechism states:
1735 Imputability and responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate attachments, and other psychological or social factors.

2352 … To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
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So be in a state of sanctifying grace, and then mentally resist. All sin is voluntary so what is involuntary is no sin and that with partial consent is venial.
 
My advice is to stop obsessing over this particular sin. Focus on spiritual growth in other ways. Pray, fast, and receive the sacraments frequently. Let God go to work. He will reduce the unwanted desire.
 
Hi Miguel:

Everything is about not giving up. This kind of sin sucks. But it is there so that we can learn some humility. You know you easily fall there, and you know what to do after. So whenever you fail, just confess (rinse and clean your soul), forget about it, and keep searching God.

If electronic devices cause you to stumble, you may want to spend less time on them. I don’t know if you need them for work or school, but don’t use them outside that. Put the laptop, tablet, phone into a drawer, and spend your time in different things. Read, study, draw, juggle, play musical instruments, learn languages, go outside for a walk, spend time with friends, join a sports club or practice some competitive sports (team or individual ones), tidy your home, polish your shoes, take care of your plants, cook, etc. Any ‘offline’ activity is good as long as you’re not using your electronic devices.

Also, keep praying. And keep in mind that Michael is a beautiful name, and that St. Michael intercession is great to defeat evil.
 
Be assured of prayers from those answering and reading your thread OP God bless and keep on keeping on.
 
Use the software Covenant Eyes. Not only is it the best filtering and blocking software on the market but it also has accountability built in. You pick an accountability partner and then every time you even attempt to view something, your partner is emailed when you attempted and what you typed in. That way they can help you.
 
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