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Kendy
Guest
And I asked him to have dinner with me yesterday. 
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puzzleannie
Guest
do him and yourself a favor, and get over it, certainly donāt act on it, and donāt feed it in your fantasies.
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Kendy
Guest
Ok, I know, itās terrible. But I had a crush on him before I knew he was interested in the priesthood. Although his prayerful manner should have been a tip off. Do you know how hard it is to find a faithful catholic man. Itās not fair.
.Anyway, heās barely into. Heās only joined the community this summer. So, he has to do two more years before he even joins the seminary. No vows yet or anything.
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CarrieH
Guest
To me, a seminarian is off-limits in the same way that a guy who already has a girlfriend might be. One has chosen the priesthood, one has chosen another girl, but neither has made the vow yet to seal the deal. Still, they have already made a commitment of sorts, so I consider them off-limits and I would keep my distance until they make a decision on their own to leave the seminary or the other girl. I wouldnāt want to be responsible for leading a seminarian astray! Itās OK to be platonic friends if you can keep it at that, but donāt flirt with him in a romantic way. In fact, if he is serious about the priesthood and you do flirt with him, he will likely avoid you because this will make him uncomfortable. Keep looking for a good Catholic man who is available, and good luck.
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Kendy
Guest
Thanks.
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Kendy
Guest
ā¦
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water
Guest
If he is called by God to become a priest, may this blessing come true - this doesnāt mean it is going to be easy for him. Temptations can stop him from following Godās call.
You just have a crush on him - not a big deal.
He has a bigger crush on God - a very bigger deal.
I would respect him and allow him the time to focus on Godās calling.
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Kendy
Guest
Well, I am just being friends right now. I wonāt do anything to forward. I wouldnāt want him to not be led astray by me. I just want him to realize that heās not actually called to the priesthood.
Ok, clearly I feel very bad. I knew I was doing something weird the minute I called him. But I am still really curious. I think I just want to be there in case he changes his mind.
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water
Guest
1000 women would agree with you if only they like the guy.I just want him to realize that heās not actually called to the priesthood.
Right now, you need to realize that your job is not to discern the priesthood of another man.
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FCEGM
Guest
And you know this through divine revelation?Well, I am just being friends right now. I wonāt do anything to forward. I wouldnāt want him to not be led astray by me. I just want him to realize that heās not actually called to the priesthood.
Iām afraid you are allowing your attraction and wishful thinking to get the better of you - and you are trying to get the better of someone who may very well have a vocation from God to the priesthood and has begun discernment to that end. You say you donāt want him to be āled astrayā by you, yet at the same time want to be there - and to be the one - to make him realize he has no vocation. Would you say and do this to a man you were attracted to who just got engaged to a friend of yours? Or would you give him space to come on his own to the truth of where God wants him and who He wants him to be with?Bowing out of your dinner invitation would be the virtuous thing to do, for both your sakes.
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Kendy
Guest
Well, maybe not an engaged man, but how about one who had had a few dates with another woman?And you know this through divine revelation?
Bowing out of your dinner invitation would be the virtuous thing to do, for both your sakes.
Itās so not fair. :crying:
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CarrieH
Guest
WHOA, there! :bigyikes: Not to be harsh, but who are you to make such a life-altering decision for him? Thatās between him and God; sorry, but you donāt get a vote. If you think itās āa wasteā if he winds up in the priesthood, I can assure you that God wonāt agree with you on that!I just want him to realize that heās not actually called to the priesthood.
If he winds up leaving the seminary and decides to be with you instead, it will happen if it is Godās will, and according to Godās timing. Donāt put your life on hold for this man for months on end, waiting for something which might never happen. You might miss out on meeting someone else who is wonderful and available while you are pining for Mr. Seminarian. And if it feels āweirdā to have called him, consider that a sign that maybe you shouldnāt do that anymore.Ok, clearly I feel very bad. I knew I was doing something weird the minute I called him. But I am still really curious. I think I just want to be there in case he changes his mind.
:console: I know itās hard and doesnāt seem āfairā ā I have struggled in the past with attractions to unavailable men myself. Be strong and do the right thing.
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Kendy
Guest
Well, itās too late cause itās today, and what am I going tell him. I realized that my motives are less than pure so I am cancelling.
NO, NO!!! We are just going to have a causual public dinner and talk. And if I feel more rotten by the end of it, then I wonāt invite him to anything. But if he invites me to something, I wouldnāt be able to say āno.ā
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Kendy
Guest
I didnāt mean I am going to make him realize anything. I just have a self-serving desire for him to realize that on his own.
Yes, I sure a nice, faithful catholic man is just waiting around the corner.
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FCEGM
Guest
If he truly has a vocation itās very fair for him, though, not to have unnecessary obstacles put in his way. Heāll come up against plenty of other obstacles, but I hope you will be wise enough not to try to be one yourself. If he does have a vocation then itās also fair to you and your own call from God to step away from a false hope.Well, maybe not an engaged man, but how about one who had had a few dates with another woman?
Itās so not fair. :crying:
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water
Guest
I understand - you find it hard to say ānoā to the seminarian, but try your best, with prayers, to say ānoā to temptations which are brought to you by Satan.But if he invites me to something, I wouldnāt be able to say āno.ā
You know how Satan hates to have more priests, do you?
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CarrieH
Guest
Soā¦how was dinner? Do we get an update?
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Gamera
Guest
This probably sounds like a made-up story, but itās true, Iād swear it on the Bible.
I knew a woman who loved a man, but he felt called to priesthood. She felt convinced that God intended them to marry. So she waited for him while he attended seminary. He completed seminary, alright, but before he received holy orders, he realized that she was right. They married. Then they had eight kids!
So, never say never.
I knew a woman who loved a man, but he felt called to priesthood. She felt convinced that God intended them to marry. So she waited for him while he attended seminary. He completed seminary, alright, but before he received holy orders, he realized that she was right. They married. Then they had eight kids!
So, never say never.
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Revap
Guest
The Devil does not want more priests. Before you help his cause, pray to Our Mother for guidance.
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Conservative
Guest
Dear Kendy:
Get a clue.
This seminarian (āseminarianā being the operative word here) is off limits ! Heās in the process of choosing a different life, and itās his choice - not yours.
Priestly vocations are difficult enough. Give this seminarian the room to find God. He apparently is hearing a Greater Call. Be happy for your friend and recognize that God has other plans for both of you - separately. Who knows what new person may be coming into your life yet? Only God.
Conservative
Get a clue.
This seminarian (āseminarianā being the operative word here) is off limits ! Heās in the process of choosing a different life, and itās his choice - not yours.
Priestly vocations are difficult enough. Give this seminarian the room to find God. He apparently is hearing a Greater Call. Be happy for your friend and recognize that God has other plans for both of you - separately. Who knows what new person may be coming into your life yet? Only God.
Conservative
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