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TOP
Guest
Prayers for you. When I’m down, I think of the angel that helped Jesus in the garden and how I have a shoulder to lean on too. Tim
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Holly3278
Guest
Hello Mslizzie. I also suffer from mental illness. I have three mental disorders but I don’t have schizophrenia. You can pray to St. Dymphna, the patron saint of nervous disorders, if you feel the need for saintly intercession. 
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BarbaraTherese
Guest
Gosh Lizzie, I have quite a history of failure before any sort of success showed - re coping. Up until about 6 years ago I think (not too good with dates) anyway quite a few years ago now, I was in and out of the ‘revolving door’ of a psychiatric ward or hospital…I was a total psychiatric mess for sure. I never gave up on Faith in that I believed God loved me though I could feel nothing of it and feared that perhaps He had abandoned me…hence I see-sawed from God loves me to God has abandoned me. I always prayed and my prayers almost always have always been talking to God as it is as perhaps I would talk to none other…and at times I was frustrated and angry with Him as my two sons suffered terribly too because of my illness. I went through six years of total homelessness and poverty unable to work/continue my career, abandoned by all friends and family with my children taken from me…in an out of a psychiatric ward or hospital - numerous times each year, sometimes six or seven in ayear…
How did I cope…well I dont think that I coped very well at all…but somehow and due to God’s Grace totally undeserved for absolutely sure, it all seems to be in the past. All I can say I think is that I always prayed - prayer being to raise the heart and mind to God, even if the heart and mind is angry at times. God is Our Father and I adored (figuratively speaking) my own Dad but had my arguments with him and my angry times with him. God is Our Loving Father. This has always been an aspect of my prayer life since childhood…not much use to say nice words to The Lord, if one’s heart is elsewhere…for The Lord knows my heart, so I may as well be honest.
You are on my mind and in my heart at a time of difficulty and suffering and I know you have a family which makes it even worse through concern for them - my illness began when my sons were 6 and almost 9 and hence I know what it is to be overwhelmingly worried about the family…Blessings - Barb
PS…I had two suicide attempts over 12 years ago now that now I am so grateful that I did not succeed. After my second attempt it really hit home to me of how my suicide would grieve my sons and my family and leave my family especially tremendously burdened by guilt and perhaps my sons too, feeling that they could or should have done more. None of them could. I was a very ill woman. In fact psychiatry diagnosed that I would never fully recover and regain mental stability.
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mslizzie
Guest
Thanks. everyone. This is probably just one of t hose days when I am feeling quite negative about life.
But as everyone said, I will continue praying to our Lord that may he continue to strengthen me in times of sorrow.
I am also familiar with Saint Dymphna and has added her to my daily prayers.
It is a lot different now that I am closer to the Lord. I don’t have severe bouts of depression anymore. Maybe because I can feel His presence each time I feel low.
But as everyone said, I will continue praying to our Lord that may he continue to strengthen me in times of sorrow.
I am also familiar with Saint Dymphna and has added her to my daily prayers.
It is a lot different now that I am closer to the Lord. I don’t have severe bouts of depression anymore. Maybe because I can feel His presence each time I feel low.
B
BarbaraTherese
Guest
May The Lord continue to bless and strengthen you and may you know His Presence even through the difficult times…Blessings - Barb
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mslizzie
Guest
Holly3278,
Sorry to hear that you are also suffering from a mental illness. Aside from the forums here, I would also recommend posting on NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). It is a very good forum and there’s lots of information about our illness. It is free to register.
Take care and God bless!!!
Sorry to hear that you are also suffering from a mental illness. Aside from the forums here, I would also recommend posting on NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). It is a very good forum and there’s lots of information about our illness. It is free to register.
Take care and God bless!!!
J
jmm08
Guest
mslizzie, thanks for letting me know about NAMI.
In his book “The Rosary – Chain of Hope”, page 61 (meditation on the crown of thorns), Fr. Benedict Groeschel writes:
“In the midst of the bitter sufferings that come to all of us at times, we should have hope because Jesus Christ sanctified suffering and the grief of death and the horror of mental illness. Mother Theresa used to say that mental illness is Jesus’ crown of thorns. These words can be an immense consolation and hope to those whose lot it is to wear this crown.”
I hope that this is true. Many times, my mother has been involuntarily (and a few times voluntarily) been committed to a facility that supposedly provided help for mentally ill people. This began in 1959. She received many electroconvulsive therapy (shock) treatments in the 1970s when she was in one hospital. And has since then been confined against her will a number of times (I’ve lost track). My sister lives in a group home for mentally retarded adults. One of my first cousins (age 52 now I suppose) has been in an institution since he was about 21. He has not been out for perhaps 30 years. And my son is in special education classes (as autistic).
Additionally, I have had friends with mental illness. Larry (who was my best friend) had once been a patient in a mental hospital before he got “born again” at a Billy Graham crusade.
Mainly because I’ve seen my mother confined against her will many times, I am reluctant to get help and I’m not sure if I need it (but suspect that I do need some help). I say that because many times my mom has been confined, she seemed quite normal to me. I often am able to argue to have her released because she is not a danger to herself or others. But it can take several weeks of talking to people on the phone to do that. I don’t want to get locked up somewhere.
I’m going to look into NAMI so thanks.
jmm08
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mslizzie
Guest
Jmm08,
I would advice that you seek help for yourself if you feel that you may be suffering from a mental illness. It is not scary to seek a professional’s opinion.
You may need medications or simply therapy sessions.
As for me, I am at a point where I feel that I will not survive without my medications. They help me a lot in terms of my depression, anxiety, hallucinations, delusions etc.
Please consider being seen by a pdoc.
I will include you and your family in my prayers. Thanks for the post.
I would advice that you seek help for yourself if you feel that you may be suffering from a mental illness. It is not scary to seek a professional’s opinion.
You may need medications or simply therapy sessions.
As for me, I am at a point where I feel that I will not survive without my medications. They help me a lot in terms of my depression, anxiety, hallucinations, delusions etc.
Please consider being seen by a pdoc.
I will include you and your family in my prayers. Thanks for the post.
M
mslizzie
Guest
M
mslizzie
Guest
You are very welcome. I have been regularly posting at the NAMI website for about a month now.
I have been doig this to mainly share my thoughts, symptoms I may be experiencing at the moment or to simply answer or give advice to other consumers.
The NAMI website is very informative. Whether you would just like to surf the site or post on the forums, both will surely help answer your questions or concerns regarding mental illness.
M
mslizzie
Guest
This is very inspiring to read. Thank you for sharing this to us.
R
reen12
Guest
quote: mslizzie
He is one thing more. He is the Divine Sherpa.
In climbing the mountains and decending the valleys of mental illness,
He is our guide and comfort. He is with us.
I have been mentally ill for 50 years, now. It took much time for
me to realize that God came to help me get un-entangled -
from all of the fears and anxities that were like a bramble bush,
and all this due to mental illness.
I was caught in these, like a little sheep. He patiently
untangled me, and set me on His shoulder, to care for me.
He knows what mental illness is. He knows the suffering.
Delusions or hallucinatons are just that. They do not reflect reality.
You see a professional. I have been know to leap!! to the phone -
if I feel that I need immediate help, from either my psychologist
or psychiatrist.
As a matter of fact, I think that God provides extra protection
to those who suffer in this way. We wear a crown of thorns on our mind,
as He did on His sacred head. Far from leaving us, because we are so ill,
He tempers the wind to a shorn lamb -
-shorn of that which most people take for granted.
God is Shepard and Physician and Sherpa, for those of us
who are mentally ill. And one day, we will dance in joy with Him -
for He is the Lord of the Dance.
We will dance, and never know illness again - as He will never again know the pain of the cross.
reen12
God is called the Good Shepherd and the Divine Physician.
He is one thing more. He is the Divine Sherpa.
In climbing the mountains and decending the valleys of mental illness,
He is our guide and comfort. He is with us.
I have been mentally ill for 50 years, now. It took much time for
me to realize that God came to help me get un-entangled -
from all of the fears and anxities that were like a bramble bush,
and all this due to mental illness.
I was caught in these, like a little sheep. He patiently
untangled me, and set me on His shoulder, to care for me.
He knows what mental illness is. He knows the suffering.
Delusions or hallucinatons are just that. They do not reflect reality.
You see a professional. I have been know to leap!! to the phone -
if I feel that I need immediate help, from either my psychologist
or psychiatrist.
As a matter of fact, I think that God provides extra protection
to those who suffer in this way. We wear a crown of thorns on our mind,
as He did on His sacred head. Far from leaving us, because we are so ill,
He tempers the wind to a shorn lamb -
-shorn of that which most people take for granted.
God is Shepard and Physician and Sherpa, for those of us
who are mentally ill. And one day, we will dance in joy with Him -
for He is the Lord of the Dance.
We will dance, and never know illness again - as He will never again know the pain of the cross.
reen12
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mslizzie
Guest
Amen to that, Reen. You brought tears in my eyes. Thank you thank you for making my day brighter.
God bless
R
reen12
Guest
quote: mslizzie
To think of dancing with God, beyond illness.
I am glad that it brought brightness to your day.
reens
It brought tears to my eyes, too, mslizzie.
To think of dancing with God, beyond illness.
I am glad that it brought brightness to your day.
reens
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CarmelG
Guest
Hi, everybody,
I have been reading your posts and they are very beautiful and somewhat helpful to me because I have Schizoaffective Disorder as well. I have recently had a relapse because I wasn’t taking my meds properly – I often think they have posion in them and it is difficult to take them. God interjects thoughts into my brain. At least I think it is God, but it doesn’t sound like God. I just know that they aren’t my thoughts. I’m getting kind of used to them now. Last Sunday I had to stay in the back of church at Mass by the Blessed Virgin statue because everybody was looking at me and I often hear their thoughts. It is very frightening and my anxiety levels goes up quite a bit. I went to the doctor yesterday and he said no one can help me if I don’t take my medicines and I know that is true. My worst fear is ending up on the street as a bag lady. My psychologist said that could easily happen if I don’t start fighting better. I just get so depressed because I don’t think God loves me and is on my side. I tell myself that he must love me because he gave me a very kind and extremely Catholic psychologist to help me and a Catholic psychiatrist too. I often think God is angry with me and is just waiting to get me dead so he can send me to hell. Not that my life isn’t hell already. I know God is suppose to be a nice God; but I think he hates me. The funny thing is I love Him more than anything and frequently say The Liturgy of the Hours to praise Him. With my paranoia, trust is a hard thing for me. My immediate family has disowned me because of my illness. They never call and when we get together they joke about my illness. My husband is the only one who is sticking with me, besides my doctor. I was wondering if we could make friends through this forum because I need people to talk to, otherwise I go into myself and then things get worse for me. I’m sorry to sound so pathetic. Please forgive me.
Love to you, Carmel
I have been reading your posts and they are very beautiful and somewhat helpful to me because I have Schizoaffective Disorder as well. I have recently had a relapse because I wasn’t taking my meds properly – I often think they have posion in them and it is difficult to take them. God interjects thoughts into my brain. At least I think it is God, but it doesn’t sound like God. I just know that they aren’t my thoughts. I’m getting kind of used to them now. Last Sunday I had to stay in the back of church at Mass by the Blessed Virgin statue because everybody was looking at me and I often hear their thoughts. It is very frightening and my anxiety levels goes up quite a bit. I went to the doctor yesterday and he said no one can help me if I don’t take my medicines and I know that is true. My worst fear is ending up on the street as a bag lady. My psychologist said that could easily happen if I don’t start fighting better. I just get so depressed because I don’t think God loves me and is on my side. I tell myself that he must love me because he gave me a very kind and extremely Catholic psychologist to help me and a Catholic psychiatrist too. I often think God is angry with me and is just waiting to get me dead so he can send me to hell. Not that my life isn’t hell already. I know God is suppose to be a nice God; but I think he hates me. The funny thing is I love Him more than anything and frequently say The Liturgy of the Hours to praise Him. With my paranoia, trust is a hard thing for me. My immediate family has disowned me because of my illness. They never call and when we get together they joke about my illness. My husband is the only one who is sticking with me, besides my doctor. I was wondering if we could make friends through this forum because I need people to talk to, otherwise I go into myself and then things get worse for me. I’m sorry to sound so pathetic. Please forgive me.
Love to you, Carmel
M
mslizzie
Guest
Carmel,
I just want to let you know that God does not hate you. I once thought that he abandoned me due to my illness, but since I found Him recently, I have felt an enormous love from Him.
He gives me/us strength to endure our illness. One of the blessings that He gives us is medication. Second is good doctors and therapists. So please continue taking your medications as prescribed by your doctor.
When I was paranoid in the past, I also felt that my medications were meant to harm me and drug me but I am completely wrong.
Since I started following my doctor’s advice to stick to my meds and never forget taking them, I have been feeling better each day and positive about life. Sure, I gained a lot of weight but I wouldn’t exchange this for a healthy mind. I don’t care really if I am now fat.
Being fat means I am able to take care of my husband and 3 children.
Carmel, you will have to accept the fact that you need to take your medicine. Our illness is chronic just like diabetes, cancer, high cholesterol and high blood pressure. People with physical illnesses need medications.
People with mental illness need medications too.
You know what, I also felt the same thing about hell. Just a few months ago, my mind was consumed with hell, and anything about that place of torment. I actually thought that I was already dead and was put in hell. My psychiatrist assured me that it was one of the many delusions we feel when we are very ill.
My current medication helped me overcome this hell delusion.
Carmel, I woud like to be friends with you. If you are more comfortable sending me s private message, please do so.
Please remember that there is hope. God did not let us die because He has a purpose for us.
Maybe you have not found that purpose yet, but just keep holding on and Have Faith in God.
This week is a very good opportunity to get closer to Him. I would suggest that you go to a nearby church tomorrow for the evening adoration and perhaps on Friday for the Stations of the Cross.
You will be relieved when you do those things. God is with you every step of the way. Here in this boards, you will find very nice, caring, and supportive people.
Take care of yourself and God bless!
Liz
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CarmelG
Guest
Thank you for your kind words, MsLizzie. I know I am suppose to take the medications as prescribed. I guess if I do this steadily it will take time to feel better. I would love to go to church tomorrow and Friday. I know it will make me feel better to be near Him in His hour of need. I will try not to think that He is angry with me, but that is a struggle. It is also a struggle when so many people show up (which I am glad they are there to worship Him), but I frequently hear all there awful thoughts about me and how they hate me. I went to my psychologist today and he said to take the medication and to take it easy - not get stressed.
Do you know how to get over the thought that God hates me? Do you think it is part of the illness?
Carmel
Do you know how to get over the thought that God hates me? Do you think it is part of the illness?
Carmel
R
reen12
Guest
Dear Carmel,
Would it help you, if I told you that this is the
way I have felt about God, for 50 years.
Afraid that I would be sent to hell?
All of this is part of illness.
Would it also help, if I told you that - from God
comes peace of heart, inner quiet, and rest of mind.
Our brain may put all kinds of images before us.
Or auditory hallucinations.
The thing to remain calm in heart over, is that
these images or sounds come from illness,
not from God.
When Jesus hung on the cross, He allowed
His mind to be clouded - in that He truly thought
that God had abandoned Him.
Why did He permit this?
Maybe because He wanted those who suffer
with illnesses of the brain to have Someone
to identify with. Someone Who would understand.
His Father had not abandoned Him. But Jesus
thought that He had.
This Friday is Good Friday. At 3 in the afternoon,
we recall Christ saying “Why have You abandoned Me?”
Those of us who endure many kinds of
mental and/or psychological illnesses, can offer
our own sense of abandonment, with Christ - to the Father.
Few are priviledged in this way.
To keep His Son company on the cross -
in His mental suffering, in His feeling abandoned.
Those who suffer profound physical pain can
be with Him on the cross, too. And offer up
their suffering, in union with His.
In a sense, God “entrusts” us with this illness.
Against all that our illness “tells” us, He loves
us very much. Does He trust us to trust Him -
even when our “brains” are telling us otherwise?
You may imagine the suffering that it has cost me,
for five decades, thinking myself abandoned by
God, and heading straight to hell. It has been dreadful.
It is not true at all - yet I believe it to be true, much
of the time.
If you can keep before you the knowledge that -
peace and calm are of God - and all that may
disturb is served up by a brain that is affected by medical illness -
then we can offer up our fear, or our anxiety, or the paranoid thoughts - that are so difficult to endure, if present.
Our suffering turns to golden grace - if we offer it up to God - in company with Christ’s offering of His Passion, to His Father.
We participate with Him in the saving of souls.
This is a great mystery, yet St. Paul spoke of this.
I thank God that, in the last 40 years, so many new medications
have become available. As a young woman, in the mid-1960’s,
I found that this simply was not the case.
The knowledge of professionals has increased a great deal, over these 40 years.
I ask God to bless, richly, all family members who help, in many ways, to support one who endures mental illness.
quote: Carmel
Working with medical professionals, and discussing medication issues, with a psychiatrist, you may find an enormous help.
If you tell the doctor what you have said, here, a practical
plan might be worked out, so that medication is taken as prescribed.
Sometimes, having a mental illness is like trying to fly a small plane, in the midst of a hurricane.
On the two occassions, when I had auditory hallucinations,
once I realized that no one else heard this voice - which was
crying for help - I knew, immediately, that this was served up by my ill brain.
I have to admit, I was a bit rattled, because I stopped quickly in my tracks, and the man walking behind me almost bumped into me.
Everyone in the supermarket parking lot was going about
their business. They didn’t hear this, either.
Yet it was OK.
Once I knew that what I had heard was not “real,”
I went about my daily business, too.
I figured that, whatever “channel” was broadcasting in my brain,
it was going to have to find another ‘listener.’
When I got to the car, I put on some Motown music,
and felt better.
I would appreciate a prayer, if you would be so kind.
I have a nuclear stress test, tomorrow morning.
I am kind of nervous about this. And I have enough
“nervousness” to being with.
Be in peace of mind and heart, and know that God loves you.
I know that it takes courage, to deal with illness of the brain itself. God will give you the grace, day by day, that you need to deal with this.
God bless and be with you, Carmel.
reens
Would it help you, if I told you that this is the
way I have felt about God, for 50 years.
Afraid that I would be sent to hell?
All of this is part of illness.
Would it also help, if I told you that - from God
comes peace of heart, inner quiet, and rest of mind.
Our brain may put all kinds of images before us.
Or auditory hallucinations.
The thing to remain calm in heart over, is that
these images or sounds come from illness,
not from God.
When Jesus hung on the cross, He allowed
His mind to be clouded - in that He truly thought
that God had abandoned Him.
Why did He permit this?
Maybe because He wanted those who suffer
with illnesses of the brain to have Someone
to identify with. Someone Who would understand.
His Father had not abandoned Him. But Jesus
thought that He had.
This Friday is Good Friday. At 3 in the afternoon,
we recall Christ saying “Why have You abandoned Me?”
Those of us who endure many kinds of
mental and/or psychological illnesses, can offer
our own sense of abandonment, with Christ - to the Father.
Few are priviledged in this way.
To keep His Son company on the cross -
in His mental suffering, in His feeling abandoned.
Those who suffer profound physical pain can
be with Him on the cross, too. And offer up
their suffering, in union with His.
In a sense, God “entrusts” us with this illness.
Against all that our illness “tells” us, He loves
us very much. Does He trust us to trust Him -
even when our “brains” are telling us otherwise?
You may imagine the suffering that it has cost me,
for five decades, thinking myself abandoned by
God, and heading straight to hell. It has been dreadful.
It is not true at all - yet I believe it to be true, much
of the time.
If you can keep before you the knowledge that -
peace and calm are of God - and all that may
disturb is served up by a brain that is affected by medical illness -
then we can offer up our fear, or our anxiety, or the paranoid thoughts - that are so difficult to endure, if present.
Our suffering turns to golden grace - if we offer it up to God - in company with Christ’s offering of His Passion, to His Father.
We participate with Him in the saving of souls.
This is a great mystery, yet St. Paul spoke of this.
I thank God that, in the last 40 years, so many new medications
have become available. As a young woman, in the mid-1960’s,
I found that this simply was not the case.
The knowledge of professionals has increased a great deal, over these 40 years.
I ask God to bless, richly, all family members who help, in many ways, to support one who endures mental illness.
quote: Carmel
because I wasn’t taking my meds properly – I often think they have posion in them and it is difficult to take them.
Working with medical professionals, and discussing medication issues, with a psychiatrist, you may find an enormous help.
If you tell the doctor what you have said, here, a practical
plan might be worked out, so that medication is taken as prescribed.
Sometimes, having a mental illness is like trying to fly a small plane, in the midst of a hurricane.
On the two occassions, when I had auditory hallucinations,
once I realized that no one else heard this voice - which was
crying for help - I knew, immediately, that this was served up by my ill brain.
I have to admit, I was a bit rattled, because I stopped quickly in my tracks, and the man walking behind me almost bumped into me.
Everyone in the supermarket parking lot was going about
their business. They didn’t hear this, either.
Yet it was OK.
Once I knew that what I had heard was not “real,”
I went about my daily business, too.
I figured that, whatever “channel” was broadcasting in my brain,
it was going to have to find another ‘listener.’
When I got to the car, I put on some Motown music,
and felt better.
I would appreciate a prayer, if you would be so kind.
I have a nuclear stress test, tomorrow morning.
I am kind of nervous about this. And I have enough
“nervousness” to being with.
Be in peace of mind and heart, and know that God loves you.
I know that it takes courage, to deal with illness of the brain itself. God will give you the grace, day by day, that you need to deal with this.
God bless and be with you, Carmel.
reens
G
Grace_Angel
Guest
Carmel darling, God doesnt even know how to hate. God is only and lways LOVE. There is no hatred in God.
yes it is part of the illness to think or believe that God hates you, but please listen to the posters who tell you that God loves you so much, you couldnt even imagine how much.
Please take the medication correctly and listen to your medical people remember God works through them too.
I also have to take medication for the rest of my life. Blood pressure, cholesterol, barely functioning thyroid and athritis medication.
I take them and thank God that there are people who have discovered the medications which make us feel better.
When you are in Church you are in God’s house, He would not tell you He hates you would he?
God bless and prayers for you.
Have a happy and holy Easter to you and your loved husband.
GraceAngel.
M
mslizzie
Guest
- Status