I have a Mental Illness

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I’m dipping into a bad depression. I cried myself to sleep last night for no reason. I feel angry. I feel deep inner despair. Example: I presently have thoughts that no matter what I do, I’m going to Hell anyway and that Mass, Confession and all of the sacraments are probably a waste of time. God doesn’t love me. No mercy exists for those borne damned
I feel like that many times. Is there any way to know if it’s a temptation or a desease?
Does anybody know if there is any way to be cured or you just go on taking antidepresives all your life?
 
Originally Posted by Tessi: I feel like that many times. Is there any way to know if it’s a temptation or a desease?
Does anybody know if there is any way to be cured or you just go on taking antidepresives all your life?
That is the conundrum.

Whenever I get strange thoughts, I break them down as being from one of 4 sources:
  1. Me.
  2. Lizard (Bipolar Disorder).
  3. The devil.
  4. The Holy Spirit.
The key is knowing yourself well enough and knowing God well enough to be able to identify the source of the strange thought.

I am never to act on category 3.
I am always to act on category 4.
It is optional to act on thoughts from category 1 or 2, depending on if I think such thoughts or inspirations are in conformity to God’s Will.

Not all the thoughts and inspirations generated by Lizard (my Bipolar Disorder) are bad. After all, Lizard thought up my doctoral thesis! (It was one of those Bipolar moments where I got struck by lightning. Lizard wrote my thesis in my brain in 30 seconds. I wrote it up (over two months) and my thesis adviser approved it).

To answer your question: How do you know it’s the disease or temptation? The answer is, you really have to understand your illness, understand yourself and understand God. Pray to know the difference.

But hey, I make it sound so simple, right? The truth is that it took me ten years (after my diagnosis) to be able to control some of this illness using willpower. I worked very, very hard – not only to get control of the illness, but also to get control of the sinful addictions that fed it.

That is, actual sin is not the cause of the illness, but actual sin feeds it.

Also, you really can’t start this process until your meds are stable. That’s step one. Just be patient with yourself.

And to answer question two: Is there a cure for Bipolar Disorder? No. But I consider Lithium to be a gift from God. If you can’t tolerate Lithium, there are antipsychotics, some antidepressants and some new drugs. There’s also some naturopathic remedies and some behavior modification therapies. Good to talk to a counselor if there is a good one in your area.

God bless!

– Mary Ann
 
Hi, I’m new! My name is Lucy, and I am from Hawaii. I apologize if someone has already posted this info, but I did not read all the pages as of yet and would like to respond in the hopes of helping some of you. I know GoldenArrow from a previous board and it was that many years ago that we were already discussing our health problems. Hi Mary ann!

So, after years of research (books, internet, message boards) I have found the answers to my illness, and I believe that my illness is more than likely what some of you are suffering from. For some strange reason, the medical community is not up-to-date with the information so they give our illness different names. BiPolar is one of them, so is OCD and mine, Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. It is the Naturalpathic Drs. who are making the most advancements in all the new and some old illnesses that so many people have these days.

Many of these illnesses are related to your thyroid or your adrenal glands. Two days after I started Armour Thyroid my fibromyalgia went away. There is so much information and so much to learn. Conventional docs use the TSH test as the basis for diagnosing thryoid but it’s useless. I had to convince my doctor to give me thyroid meds even though my results were only 2 points off the range. My frees, however, were very low. Free T3 and Free T4 is what you need to look at and sometimes, your bloodtest won’t even show anything but an ultrasound will show a goiter or enlarged nodule. My point is, many, many people are suffering from hypo or hyperthyroidism and not getting the help they need because of the TSH test. Bipolar is a sign of thyroid, and I was told by one doc that I had it.

The adrenals are also connected to thyroid. They are all hormones that our bodies need to function on many levels. When I tested my Cortisol, I was one number away from Addisons Disease and my endocrinologist sent me away. There aren’t many docs who are knowledable regarding adrenal glands. My internist knew I needed to be on meds. So, I am feeling better than I have in years. I have hypothryoidism, Secondary Adrenal Insuffiency (different from Addisons/No ACTH secretion) and Aldosteronism (low salt and potassium). There is so much to tell and so much research, and I am still researching while I tweak my meds. I will help in any way I can. To begin, go get tested. Well, actually, go do the research first. Then, check your TSH,
Free T3’s and Free T4s, your morning Cortisol, your vitamins like B-12, Vit D, Magnesium, Sodium, Potassium and whatever else the website (see below) tells you too.

Vitamins are also very, very important. Multivitamin, fish oils,
B-12, Vit D if you don’t get sun and most of all, Magnesium. You can find most of your information at stopthethyroidmadness.com. (Sorry, I’m not good at links so you have to cut and paste that.)

They even have a book out now. They explain about thyroid, about using natural thyroid, the adrenals, and much more. Go and see if you have the symptoms for thyroid and/or adrenals. It hurts me that so many of you are suffering because I was there not long ago. It took me years of drs and research to get better. But, I always knew I would get better and I thank GOD from the bottom of my heart for that.

I’m not much of a typer so I’ll end here. Let me know if you have any questions. Again, go research your symptoms and see if it fits. During my research, I would go to other illnesses but would always return to the symptoms of thyroid. That was my first clue. Good luck and God bless you all!
 
That is the conundrum.

Whenever I get strange thoughts, I break them down as being from one of 4 sources:
  1. Me.
  2. Lizard (Bipolar Disorder).
  3. The devil.
  4. The Holy Spirit.
The key is knowing yourself well enough and knowing God well enough to be able to identify the source of the strange thought.

I am never to act on category 3.
I am always to act on category 4.
It is optional to act on thoughts from category 1 or 2, depending on if I think such thoughts or inspirations are in conformity to God’s Will.

Not all the thoughts and inspirations generated by Lizard (my Bipolar Disorder) are bad. After all, Lizard thought up my doctoral thesis! (It was one of those Bipolar moments where I got struck by lightning. Lizard wrote my thesis in my brain in 30 seconds. I wrote it up (over two months) and my thesis adviser approved it).

To answer your question: How do you know it’s the disease or temptation? The answer is, you really have to understand your illness, understand yourself and understand God. Pray to know the difference.

But hey, I make it sound so simple, right? The truth is that it took me ten years (after my diagnosis) to be able to control some of this illness using willpower. I worked very, very hard – not only to get control of the illness, but also to get control of the sinful addictions that fed it.

That is, actual sin is not the cause of the illness, but actual sin feeds it.

Also, you really can’t start this process until your meds are stable. That’s step one. Just be patient with yourself.

And to answer question two: Is there a cure for Bipolar Disorder? No. But I consider Lithium to be a gift from God. If you can’t tolerate Lithium, there are antipsychotics, some antidepressants and some new drugs. There’s also some naturopathic remedies and some behavior modification therapies. Good to talk to a counselor if there is a good one in your area.

God bless!

– Mary Ann
I love the way you broke it down (especially the lizard - although I call it ‘sneaky snake’ after an OLD country song) I have the same diagnosis as you do.

Wonderful when it works for or with you - but then there’s that price to pay.

I also have to echo - thank you Lord God for Lithium, and all the other ones too.

Cordelil you sound like you’ve been through much of the same as I have in the last few years. Divorced due to Mental Illness, lost, I had suicide attempts and 5 hospitalizations in 9 months. Then I came into the Church, out of desperation and wanting a God I could understand in my life. I was sick of the roller coaster of my illness, Protestantism that made no sense - and in many ways only made things worse - and the quiet desperation of a gnawing feeling that I was really gonna lose it some day, and some day was coming fast.

It’s really uplifting to see so many people on this thread who are battling mental illness also. Lately I’ve been getting that little whisper in my ear that I can beat this, with God and hard work I can go back to life without meds and be OK. A lie I know, but such a tempting one. Because I am disabled now, and only able to work 10 hours a week. It’s so hard to accept that, and even harder to accept that I probably will never really be ok enough to even work a full week at the sheltered workshop which is my job. Much less return to the community whole and healthy without meds.

Anyway - thanks for listening (reading :p)

Peace

John
 
Thank you all for your prayers. My daughter is stable now on her meds (Abilify and zoloft) for bi-polar and is sticking out on Interferon I think it’s called for her Hepatitis C. She is waiting to hear about her application for disability which has been denied three times before. This time she has a lawyer helping her so I have some hope she’ll get it this time.

I have her youngest dauther (third grade) living with me. So pray for me too.The poor child is used to sleeping on the floor, fighting for her food and has very poor eyesight due to untreated lazy eye. She is so excited to have her own room and bathroom and plenty of clothes to wear. Not to excited about all the homework in our parish school. She will be making her first communion this spring with the second grade class. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be in her life.
 
Tiffinwood, I am glad to hear that your daughter is doing good now. You are a wonderful mother and I admire you for that. May God bless you and your family always.
 
mslizzie, Thanks so much for your kind words and prayers. I have found a wonderful book called “Parenting with Grace” that’s written by a Catholic couple one of whom is a psychologist. It has all sorts of wonderful information and guidance. I found it on Amazon a little cheaper than OSV which is the publisher. We have our ups and downs but Alex is adjusting to school and we have a wonderful guidance counselor and resource people who are helping her. Praise God.
 
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