I lost it yesterday with my baby and family, please help

  • Thread starter Thread starter MarthaSo
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Do you have any family or close friends you can call on for help? I know of parishes that will open their nursery once a week or so to give Moms a break.
 
I don’t unfortunately. Thank you for responding. My only family is my sister who is too far away.
 
Last edited:
TheLittleLady said:
I will suggest asking your teenager to help. We are family, we support each other. Teen can occupy baby for an hour when you get home from work so you can shower and just collect your thoughts
Click to expand...
Yes! Babies love their older siblings. And they are awesome at teaching them about baby care and family. Nine month old babies are generally very charming. Older sibling can enjoy the baby for an hour while you nap or shower.

I’m 8 years older than my sister. I loved playing with her and feeding her and all baby things.
 
Thanks my older kids do watch him and they love spending time with him they complain that he’s too heavy too though and then give him back. I should try just having them watch him while he’s playing on the floor and then do things .
 
My daughter-in-law had these concerns with her twins. The doctor said to let them cry once your sure they don’t need anything. It’s hard, but needs to be done, according to her pediatrician.
 
A safe place in the floor is fine. Little guys that age love to crawl and scoot.
 
I think the best thing you can do is seek options to improve your economic status so you have food and reasonable schedules.

Talk to your parish about potential help from your local St. Vincent DePaul Society. Talk to your local employment office about available job training, GED assistance, or whatever you need. Given you aren’t apparently earning enough, there are probably free training programs.

Also look into local food pantries. You should not go without food.

See if family can help with childcare so you can get some breaks.
 
Last edited:
I have heard it’s ok to do that too but those cries, due to his previous colic, affects my nerves and anxiety so much that I try to minimize as much as possible l. Not sure how I can better handle that.
 
Kindnessmatters said:
Also look into local food pantries. You should not go without food.
Click to expand...
I’m pretty sure it was not “we cannot afford food” but “we have been running ourselves ragged and no one had time to shop for groceries”.

For the grocery time, I sing the praises of WalMart online grocery pickup. I place my grocery order, then only have to drive up and text them. I never get out of my car. It is a lifesaver!!!
 
Thank you, that never happened before so sparse with the food, usually I write more things down on the food list (husband does the food shopping according to the list I write) then we got so busy (it’s crazy that this actually happens) that we didn’t even have time to do a midweek restock. I should have just ordered pizza but carbs make me sleepy , I like to have cooked food ready like I normally do so when I get home I usually grab some prepared food but this week didn’t allow for that. I really need time management help. All these meal planning videos i see take time that I don’t have as a full time working mom with a baby. i’m very stressed.
 
Last edited:
As others have said, we have all been there. You are only human, and you did the best you were capable of at the time, you just didn’t have anything more to give. This isn’t something you do, it was a one time thing, so let it go. It won’t work in every situation, but I try to find some humor in situations. Like if I’m stuck in a long slow line of traffic, I used to get impatient and annoyed. Now I laugh and sing out loud in my off key voice the old song, " I Love a Parade". I can’t do anything about it, so I just turn it into a joke. When one of my babies, usually my son, used to cry and cry, I’d rock him and sing, “Away in a Manger”, and really emphasized the line about baby Jesus, “No crying HE makes”. And I’d say to our Blessed Mother, “Now I see why you only had one …”. Just silly stupid stuff, but it would make me laugh and it helped with the stress. ( Yes, I amuse myself easily… lol ). You are doing fine Martha, don’t beat yourself up. (((HUG))) 💐
 
He just learned to crawl a few days ago! Someday she’s good at being on the floor playing for a nice long while, and other days, like when I’m physically, mentally and emotionally spent, he’ll only stay awhile before crying so i have to pick him up and do stuff and exhaust myself trying to figure out what he needs. He is really such a precious joy!
 
Being there, done that.
I think sometimes our own reactions are over the top when we are very tired and frustrated. For me, the only thing that helped was doing something to avoid to get to that point. Ask for help so that you can delegate some of the tasks you are taking care of right now (ask your husband and your teen to go grocery shopping or keep an eye on the baby), get some much needed time for yourself (for example make a big deal of having enough time to take a shower everyday etc), find ways to simplify your day (right now you are in ‘emergency mode’ so just take care of what are the priorities). This too shall pass.
 
Last edited:
That is so absolutely on point, being on emergency mode. Thank you
 
MarthaSo said:
I have heard it’s ok to do that too but those cries, due to his previous colic, affects my nerves and anxiety so much that I try to minimize as much as possible l. Not sure how I can better handle that
Click to expand...
if you know the baby doesn’t need changed and has been fed, then when he cries go in the room but don’t pick him up. Lay him down, rub his back for a few minutes and then leave.

Try to endure the crying for as long as possible. Once the baby realizes he will not be picked up he will eventually give up and go to sleep.

Children do sense our moods. You might have to ‘fake’ being relaxed and happy when putting your baby to bed.

You are in a tough position. It’s one of the reasons I made staying home with the kids a deal breaker before getting married.
 
Thank you, I have tried patting him, letting him know I’m there while he’s in the crib but because his sleep association is with being rocked the more tired he is, if I just pat him, he interprets that as I’m not understanding he’s tired and wants to be bounced to sleep so he cries louder and when i’m exhausted I’d rather pick him up than hear those screams.
I don’t know, when it gets really bad I just remember that someone told me soon he’ll be walking and won’t want to be held. I don’t mind holding him ofcourse but it’s their way of saying I don’t have to wait until he’s in college before things will soon get a little easier on my back.
My eldest didn’t sleep through the night until a year old but my daughter slept straight through at 8 weeks.
In order for me to stop the bouncing I have to not be in emergency mode to have the emotional , mental and physical strength to endure those cries.
TheLord willing, our plan is for me to stay home next summer as we look to buy a home in July!
 
Last edited:
MarthaSo said:
I have heard it’s ok to do that too but those cries, due to his previous colic, affects my nerves and anxiety so much that I try to minimize as much as possible l. Not sure how I can better handle that.
Click to expand...
I think the old school way is to let them cry until they stop.
Newer studies show that this can cause mental and phsychological issues and even some brain damage.

I’m sure a little bit of left to crying is fine, but too much could be detrimental as well
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top